Cant Stop Thinking About A Guy

[Orange]

4 minutes ago, popi said:

@Orange  "Time ,it needs time
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be there"

You need some time. It reminds me of this song.  

 

I'll keep it in mind tonight, thanks popi

[Ricksta]

Dear Orange

If I may weigh in on the subject, I would like to throw out some observations about your actual initial message, followed by some practical steps you can take, should you choose to.

You mention that "There's a guy in my life", but that your paths wont cross anymore. So really, he isn't in your life anymore, he's actually living in your imagination. Allow the chips of life to fall where they may and deal with what gets given to you. If you were meant to be together don't panic, life will find a way to make that happen. In the meantime all you need to do is move forward and engage yourself with positive things.

I can also pick up on the frustration you sit with, having these constant thought interruptions. You seem to feel very powerless to try and change your situation. You are trying to logically battle this by wanting to "focus on my life", logic is not going to resolve this one for you. In fact, trying to 'logic' your way forward is what is causing you to remain stuck emotionally and mentally.

I'm not going to delve into the obvious things here, such as to stop facebooking him, texting him, etc. That, I'm sure you have googled about plenty of times already. Perhaps though, you can start to see how counter-intuitive your way forward might be. As you continue to search for answers and struggling to move forward you may start to notice that there is one thing that you are subconsciously resisting to do.

You will soon start to reach a place where you can allow yourself to experience the full weight of the impact that this person has had in your life. You can perhaps sit down for 30 minutes or so and simply allow your mind to wash over with all the beautiful thoughts of conversations with him, memories of him and the meaningful moments you spent with him. Fully accept and bask in these thoughts, in fact, try to force them to come even more! Push to remember as much as you can and let it spill over you. Let your meditation be saturated with him, almost like somebody that has eaten too much food at dinner, but still dishes in more. Indulge yourself. Do this everyday and if you can try to even increase it further and do it more. Daily, even for 50 minutes if you can.

One more thing, you need to write a letter to him. Do this after allowing your memories to flood you and return to this letter in a months time where you can update it and re-read it. If you truly love and respect this individual you will show immense gratitude for having had the opportunity to spend time with him.

I don't need to tell you the outcome of this process, you will have to go down this rabbit yourself to see where it leads you. But I suspect that once you integrate this experience and relationship fully it will become a part of you that you will treasure and look back upon with much fondness.

[egoeimai]

51 minutes ago, Ricksta said:

 

You mention that "There's a guy in my life", but that your paths wont cross anymore. So really, he isn't in your life anymore, he's actually living in your imagination. Allow the chips of life to fall where they may and deal with what gets given to you. If you were meant to be together don't panic, life will find a way to make that happen. In the meantime all you need to do is move forward and engage yourself with positive things.

The best part man!!!

[egoeimai]

Does his presence makes you feel happy?

I had an epiphany today.

That people whos presence makes us feel happy, worth at least the effort.  

[FindingPeace]

On 09/08/2016 at 0:14 AM, popi said:

 a bit pessimistic,all that "theres no happiness"

People missunderstand what 'happiness' is. In the dualistic world happiness is seen as a positive emotion with respect to negative ones. In other words, it is taken to be things like joy, stimulation, excitement or any emotional state that is 'positive' with respect to the 'norm'. It is none of those things.

Happiness is actually a neutral state of complete peace of mind. It is the absence of negative emotions. It isn't actually an emotion. It's the 'being' state when there is nothing to be emotional about.

True happiness is non-dual. It isn't a 'feeling' in comparison to another. It just is. It's peace. It being at peace with yourself and reality. Nothing can purturb or disturb you. It is the complete acceptence, non-judgemental and non-critical view on reality.

This is the reason why people fail to 'find' it. They are looking for it as some kind of positive emotion, some sort of positive evaluation of reality. What that is, is hedonism. That won't bring you happiness. Happiness as people believe it to be doesn't exist because they have a missunderstanding of what it is and what they want. Much like 'love'. Another concept that has been missused and missunderstood.