A question for women about "creepy" men

[Dodo]

5 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

If you're attractive and charming it doesn't matter what you say. If you're a creeper - even the best and most polite line won't work

You're looking at the wrong direction, guys, words do not matter at all

I think this is actually wrong.. I've had interest in the past on the so called "pickup" and there are techniques to make even those who don't look the part to be attractive to women. Most I took from the book I read on this was just confidence and push-pull technique. Rather than just giving compliments like a horny bitch, you want to give "Negs" which is to say the opposite of a compliment first and then hit her with a compliment. This dynamic is likely to make her more chill and attracted - they say it's a science. 

Example of neg would be to ask a girl if her hair is actually real or a wig for example. Or to say that you like how her nose wiggles when she talks (some girls dont like their nose) 

Edited August 23, 2020 by Dodo

[nistake]

36 minutes ago, Dodo said:

So you're saying I should become her gay best friend basically  

If you get stuck on the surface level and you keep bringing up ordinary topics, then yeah, you can quickly become her gay friend. However, if you make your intention clear as soon as possible, that's gonna be the moment of truth. Polarizing is where it's at.

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Well wouldn't this go both way?

I've learned a lot from reading stuff from a man's perspective. It's rather wise to compare two opposite experiences and bridge them.

First of all because 1) you risk being stuck in a male dominated perspective 2) because love is transcendental and if you wish to leave behind its survival aspects (aka an unconscious relationship dynamic) your first job is to be able to slip in your partner's shoes

When you think about it, you could apply this comment to almost any field and any human beings.

 

Love? Sounds like some spiritual mumbo jumbo a rabbit would come up with to survive, the lion laying down with the lamb or some bullshit like that. Highly self biased survival agenda.

Because men need to be able to get laid without committing to the women, so that they can go on to form their very important careers, businesses and the pursuit of enlightenment completely uninhibited because quantifiable success in these ways are more important than anything else. Once the man achieves this very important height of success, women will flock to him for casual relationships and he doesn't have to go out and hunt for these women anymore. Until then his survival drives won't let him give up the idea of women completely so he has to hunt them. Because his quantifiable outward successes are paramount to the world's well being as a whole, women getting in the way of him learning to hunt and saying "what about rabbits and what they want?" is detrimental to all of us. 

 

 

[mandyjw]

@Etherial Cat Of course. Also I never look for feedback from my customers about what they really want to buy and what makes them happy, I ask my competitors who are also selling the same thing to the same people. 

[Kiko]

Something that Leo said here in this forum and really hit was something like that "attraction is not logical phenomena`` and "menkind are selfish animals" . Theese two thing really hit me and i just started to think how i can make people like me using this knowledge...

[Leo Gura]

On 8/22/2020 at 4:41 PM, mandyjw said:

You assume a lot. A lot of the women on this forum are older, experienced and some including myself have sons of their own. I've sacrificed hours of my own life and career to get my autistic son the social interaction and experiences he needs so he isn't handicapped that way later in life. I've thought a lot about life from other perspectives, too much about their's and not enough on my own, in fact.

That's nice and all, but that still doesn't mean you understand how to attract a woman.

Quote

Women's voices are discredited enough already without the admin of the forum/youtube star this place revolves around giving the outright advice to discredit them.

I understand your frustration, but this thread is not about helping you, it's about helping a guy. From the guy's POV, when it comes to attracting females, listening to their advice is usually counter-productive.

On 8/23/2020 at 1:22 AM, Etherial Cat said:

Well wouldn't this go both way?

Yes, but the context of this discussion is how to attract a female. If the context were reversed, I would say the converse.

If you were a female asking how to attract a great husband, I would say, don't necessarily listen to what guys tell you on that topic.

Quote

When you think about it, you could apply this comment to almost any field and any human beings.

Exactly.

[Adam M]

@Don Wei If you give a genuine compliment, and you aren't complimenting her with the purpose of manipulating her to sleep with you, then you will get a positive response.

Women respond to the underlying intention behind every word that you say. This is given away by your sub-comminication such as body language and tone of voice.

I give women compliments frequently. And they almost always respond with a laugh and a smile because I'm socially calibrated and cool. The secret is to give the compliment GENUINELY and with a friendly smile. I'm not expecting her to approve of me, I just say what's on my mind. If a man is trying to trade compliments for sexual favours...that's creepy.

The same goes for insults. If you're physically attracted to a woman, that's great, but take the attitude that you don't know if you want to sleep with her or not until she proves to you that she is cool/interesting. If she says or does something that you think is weird/lame/awkward...then SAY IT in a fun and playful way.

"Wow, you said didn't know how to dance but I didn't know it was THIS bad! ;)" 

"You really don't know the capital of Canada? Haha wow that's pretty dense *while laughing*"

So, basically, when a man gives CONSISTENTLY HONEST feedback about what he thinks about the girl...then his compliments are to be trusted as genuine. 

Sometimes the best opener is...

"Hello! I'll be honest, I walked over to talk to you because I thought you were good looking *said while smiling/laughing + direct eye contact*

What's your name?" 

It's never about WHAT you say and always about HOW you say it. 

[mandyjw]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I understand your frustration, but this thread is not about helping you, it's about helping a guy. From the guy's POV, when it comes to attracting females, listening to their advice is usually counter-productive.

I sort of read the OP's post as being a more general questioning.

Learning to compliment and interact with women and not act like a creep is a huge part of business, sales and career for men. If you want to be a teacher and teach women or sell cars to women, you have to learn to connect without accidentally crossing lines. Approaching a woman in a club or certain settings don't follow any of those rules and can be very counter-intuitive of course, but commenting on someone's instagram photo is a lazy sort of in between gray area. 

Edited August 25, 2020 by mandyjw

[Jacob Morres]

I think creep is a shadow aspect 

all these negative labels we put on people are just a lack of understanding

the "creep" can be a judgement/negative label - 

could be a person with severe childhood trauma 

could be a person who never got exposed to the opposite sex due to a strict traditional upbringing 

could be a person who might have had a traumatic event happen to them so they are behaving differently 

could be a person who has been socially isolated because of corona/mental illness 

etc. 

they're just people lol

now the partial truth is that they may often not approach in conscious ways that the other person is comfortable

and there's also some more nuance because the person on the receiving end has their own trauma that gets triggered when people appraoch them 

Edited August 25, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Farnaby]

4 hours ago, Adam M said:

@Don Wei If you give a genuine compliment, and you aren't complimenting her with the purpose of manipulating her to sleep with you, then you will get a positive response.

Women respond to the underlying intention behind every word that you say. This is given away by your sub-comminication such as body language and tone of voice.

I give women compliments frequently. And they almost always respond with a laugh and a smile because I'm socially calibrated and cool. The secret is to give the compliment GENUINELY and with a friendly smile. I'm not expecting her to approve of me, I just say what's on my mind. If a man is trying to trade compliments for sexual favours...that's creepy.

The same goes for insults. If you're physically attracted to a woman, that's great, but take the attitude that you don't know if you want to sleep with her or not until she proves to you that she is cool/interesting. If she says or does something that you think is weird/lame/awkward...then SAY IT in a fun and playful way.

"Wow, you said didn't know how to dance but I didn't know it was THIS bad! ;)" 

"You really don't know the capital of Canada? Haha wow that's pretty dense *while laughing*"

So, basically, when a man gives CONSISTENTLY HONEST feedback about what he thinks about the girl...then his compliments are to be trusted as genuine. 

Sometimes the best opener is...

"Hello! I'll be honest, I walked over to talk to you because I thought you were good looking *said while smiling/laughing + direct eye contact*

What's your name?" 

It's never about WHAT you say and always about HOW you say it. 

True. This has been my experience as well. 

Easier said than done though. If I'm feeling good and in a playful mood it kind of comes naturally. But sometimes I'm in a different mood than my girlfriend for example and it's not so easy to get the communication flowing again. 

[diamondpenguin]

If a girl asks me about how to attract a guy. I would say: "show me them tits."

What a life. 

[Striving for more]

@Recursoinominado

so how the hell am I meant to develop good game ?

Because I " want something from women" ... Yes I want sex, maybe some connection. 

I'm not a rapist. But I actually want to sleep around a lot at my stage of life, and do it successfully with hot girls. 

Given that I haven't got laid in a long long time, and I also want to sleep with lots of girls, how the hell am i meant to achieve this without "wanting it" ?

It's harsh because every time I have the chance to approach they definitely smell the desperation. I wish their was a way to pretend I have a lot of options, but still approach and create attraction without the neediness, low valueness.  

[Arcangelo]

On 8/21/2020 at 10:16 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

all men are emotionless fuck boys that want to have sex and never see you again.

If the girl is a 7 yeah, but if the girl is a 10 I would like to have sex for the rest of my life.

Bet you DiCaprio is not creepy

It goes both ways

[Recursoinominado]

20 hours ago, Striving for more said:

@Recursoinominado

so how the hell am I meant to develop good game ?

Because I " want something from women" ... Yes I want sex, maybe some connection. 

I'm not a rapist. But I actually want to sleep around a lot at my stage of life, and do it successfully with hot girls. 

Given that I haven't got laid in a long long time, and I also want to sleep with lots of girls, how the hell am i meant to achieve this without "wanting it" ?

It's harsh because every time I have the chance to approach they definitely smell the desperation. I wish their was a way to pretend I have a lot of options, but still approach and create attraction without the neediness, low valueness.  

It is like a meditation, you do it just to do it, if you are always wanting an outcome DURING the meditation, it will be a poor meditation practice.

Of course, you have to have a strong INTENTION to meet and attract the woman and do what you need to do to achieve this (approaching, being funny, lead the interaction etc), but, at the same time, if the woman smell desperation, she will be turned off. 

Maximum engagement + minimum attachment. 

[Galyna]

On 8/19/2020 at 6:10 AM, Don Wei said:

I saw lots of women say they find a lot of men who approach them "creepy" because they often have sexual intentions.

 realistically speaking what other intentions would it be? Pure friendships or a hobby...

[Dodo]

1 hour ago, Galyna said:

 realistically speaking what other intentions would it be? Pure friendships or a hobby...

I usually approach women to say excuse me whats the time. What other reason? Ps i am vurgeen

[soos_mite_ah]

10 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

Bet you DiCaprio is not creepy

DiCaprio is creepy af. He has this thing where he only dates women under 25 and then breaks up with them as soon as they hit that age while he himself is 46. There is a huge age gap which often leads to a power dynamic especially when the younger party is still greatly developing as a person. There can be a lot of manipulation involved and it's an over all a creepy situation. Sure his looks and his money can initially distract someone and create a situation where it's harder to say no giving him a larger margin or error for creepy/predatory behavior, but that doesn't mean his behavior wasn't messed up from the beginning. 

[Arcangelo]

^^^If I could I would and so do most men like 99.99%

And I will bet you my life that DiCaprio doesn't ask those girls where did they buy their dresses

Edited November 29, 2020 by Arcangelo
DiCaprio

[soos_mite_ah]

@Arcangelo yeah 99.99% of creeps who fetishize youth and naivety for their manipulation. Not all men are like that. I have met plenty of men who wouldn't do something like that because they aren't looking to take advantage of young women with limited life experience and they are healthy enough to look for a equal partner instead of a fan who will most likely idolize them. 

[Roy]

35 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

DiCaprio is creepy af. He has this thing where he only dates women under 25 and then breaks up with them as soon as they hit that age while he himself is 46.

I've seen plenty of that talk in red pill communities. It's fucked up lol. I don't have a personal issue with age gap relationships, love knows so bounds and all. But yea this kind of thing is deliberately done out of a patriarchal sense of selfishness.

They consider women above 25 "spoiled goods" with too much baggage, and they lose their fertility. Just a bunch of absurd expectations and perceptions. All rooted in self-bias. Of course never spending a moment considering their own flaws.

Personally I don't consider a relationship with any woman if she doesn't match my level of maturity. That's basically the only criteria I won't negotiate on.

Edited November 29, 2020 by Roy