Help me end my dilemma of enligthenment vs survival

[Dario1995]

@Kalki Avatar The way I am looking at it, and someone mentioned similar thing:

I ( as the only I that exist) created, or manifested this life out of Love. And this life is not separate from who you are. You can absolutely live a normal life and be enlightened or do spiritual work. Life is what matter, and spirituality is here to remind us of the truth.

Imagine that every person is enlightened from this second. Would life stop? I think no. 

Ilusion is also part of the life and should not dismissed, it should be embraced once you realize Self. 

You will most likely have to work, pay your bills ( easier than the street). It is a necessity of life, and the beauty of it. And that part of ego that resist doing stuff it doesnt like or have no motivation for is gonna fall apart.

So dont separate You and the life. 

 

 

[Mu_]

On 8/17/2020 at 6:06 PM, Kalki Avatar said:

Guys, as you know enligthenment is no joke nor an easy task. So, I would like to know from your personal experiences how have you dealed with this dilemma in the past. This also goes to any enlightened being in the forum who sees this. 

My dilemma is the following. Is it better to get your shit together in your life and then go full enligthenment or get enlightened & dont suffer but be a misery in the game while it lasts. 

I have tried becoming enlightened in the past and have been close to it, dedicating from 1 to almost 2 years of really nothing else but theorical spirituality, psychology and insane meditation. No social life, no focus on money, no girls, not caring much about my career, job etc. Then I got tired (my ego dragged me down again) because, yes i was feeling amazing and had peace, stillness, clarity, bliss etc.  But, this created alot of external drama. My family thought I was going crazy. I almost got kicked on my job. I almost quitted college. I broke up with my last gf. And no, I wasnt affected at all. I was willing to die physically with no problem whatsoever. The thing is, after that I realized like whats the hurry? Too much speed is from the devil. Maybe even in enligthenment... But, is like, after seeing God I dont want to waste such opportunity and time. But at the same time I would like to have my shit together. Like, what if after enligthenment I become a homeless and I could have prevented that by learning how to trade and build some business that I can still run after liberation. 

From what I have seen from most enlightened people, they continue doing what they did in the past, unless they just become teachers. But, only because they learned that skill in the past. And they do it now as an art form. But if you get enlightened with no skill, you will have no interest in learning it. Which is the case with most sages in India living on the streets.

Its like every year passing by without total liberation is hurting me because it could be a golden year from my youth to explode and explore. Or am I just exagerating? 

And now with so many business and investements opportunities but also so many gurus talking about the apocalypse... Its a dilemma on which to make the best investement and dont regret. 

Maybe this is also happening to someone else here. 

What do you guys think? 

 

I think your exaggerating and more concerned then you need to be about enlightenment.  You can't make it happen, its not something you can imagine, so don't get to insane about it.  Do a little of both, even though they really aren't separate.  Learn some skills/survival stuff that you atleast enjoy to some degree or believe in and do some yoga, meditation and self inquiry, shadow work or what ever feels useful.  Enjoy the outside world sometimes, see a movie or two, watch a show, enjoy some sex, be kind, volunteer here and there, give and advice sharing your own experience when asked.  Just relax man, sounds like you got the discipline stuff down, now enjoy yourself and don't make others support you and maybe eventually let go of needing to figure things out and let your natural expression come through.

[Kalki Avatar]

@Mu_ Im gonna try my best to be divided and undivided at the same time. I just cant be in the middle, at least during the process. Either all in or all out. I tried that chilled way in the past and I had 0 results. It wasnt until i was tired like just tired of all. Ready to die even physically that God revealed to me. 

[Johnny5]

5 hours ago, Kalki Avatar said:

@Johnny5 @Johnny5 How did you discovered your authentic desires? 

By paying attention to the defacto evidence of what you are drawn to and the big picture of how your life unfolds.

[Mu_]

45 minutes ago, Kalki Avatar said:

@Mu_ Im gonna try my best to be divided and undivided at the same time. I just cant be in the middle, at least during the process. Either all in or all out. I tried that chilled way in the past and I had 0 results. It wasnt until i was tired like just tired of all. Ready to die even physically that God revealed to me. 

I get it, same thing happened to me.  But I can tell you that God is not anything different then the middle ground I pointed you to.  Perhaps one day you'll laugh and chill out and perhaps not, if you feel more interested in a full one 100% effort to be what you already are, or don't feel like its settled in so to say, then by all means.