Cold vs Hot approach

[ColeMC01]

Stop This Cold Approach Madness - Hot Approach Like A Real Man

If you do not have the time or nerves to watch this, i will TL DR it. TL DR: "Men tend to be first come first serve meaning they will hook up with the first nice girl that goes to her and they project this into females. Females on the other hand they are reserved for the highest bidder, they will hook up with whoever they feel they deserve. It is basic hypergamy. If she is not giving you signals that she is interested, like playing with hair, looking at you etc then cold approaching will be very very hard to work. if she has put a wall of objections it will make you look thirsty af to approach her and waste your time. So just built yourself up and focus on those that actually are giving you signals. This is hot approach which is what actually works."

I know the PUA's here will complain about this but from personal experience all couples i see the girl was always at least a bit interested. Would it not make more sense to become a cooler stronger more attractive and successful person and getting girls to show you interest instead. Personally i think cold approach is great to get over fear of rejection and build your social skills so when you interact with girls that are actually interested you wont fuck it up.

[Recursoinominado]

On 17/08/2020 at 1:44 PM, ColeMC01 said:

If she is not giving you signals that she is interested, like playing with hair, looking at you etc then cold approaching will be very very hard to work. if she has put a wall of objections it will make you look thirsty af to approach her and waste your time. So just built yourself up and focus on those that actually are giving you signals. This is hot approach which is what actually works."

Not true at all, this is just a way out of your fear of rejection.

I have approached tons of bitchy face girls and it worked fine.

Big principle of game: Masculine energy goes for what it wants and is grounded on itself.

Meaning that you approach even if the girl isn't giving you clear signals and do your thing without being affected by her apparent bitchy behavior.

In fact, women often put up a bitchy face to scare off anyone who doesn't have the balls to approach her like that. It's a filter, it works wonderfully and your post proves it.

Most high-quality females won't give you much to work with, she wants to see how you react when you don't receive any external validation. Are you going to let your state drop because she isn't laughing about your jokes, playing with her hair or even responding to you? Or are you going to remain grounded with a stable sense of confidence?

I have had girls barely responding to me, and even being bitchy, telling me to go away, suddenly transforming themselves into a loving person when they saw that i remain unphased and in a good mood.

I remember one specific approach that i was in-state and the girl was doing this whole "i am annoyed by you" thing but i simply was in the flow and kept going with a good mood, great calibration, touching her and all of that, the interaction took like 5 brutal minutes like that until she said something nasty to me (i don't remember exactly what), i stopped for a moment, looked her in her eyes, genuinely smiled and said: "and i love you".

She then proceeded to make a huge smile, looked at me with those "i want to fuck you" eyes, and kissed me.

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado Where do you live? Are you talking about American girls?

[Recursoinominado]

@ColeMC01 I live in Brazil where rape and sexual assault are a real thing and women walk permanently on alert for any kind of possible danger and that includes being defensive and try to avoid approaches at all costs. Believe me, it is not easy to approach someone that is afraid for their lives.

Anyway, this "girls are harder to approach here" objection is quite common, usually from newbies trying to justify their lack of balls and results. This has been debunked time and time again.

[Consept]

Theres a guy on youtube Alpha Male Strategies, his whole thing is be on your purpose and be the best you can be and the women will give you choosing signals, but never put chasing a woman first above your purpose and never play the numbers game of cold approach. hes a bit hardcore with the delivery but i think the core message makes sense - 

 

Edited August 19, 2020 by Consept

[Recursoinominado]

34 minutes ago, Consept said:

Theres a guy on youtube Alpha Male Strategies, his whole thing is be on your purpose and be the best you can be and the women will give you choosing signals, but never put chasing a woman first above your purpose and never play the numbers game of cold approach. hes a bit hardcore with the delivery but i think the core message makes sense - 

This is the "Red Pill" equivalent to "just be yourself and you will find the right one". 

Bullshit.

Just go approach, stop with those silly rationalizations to not approach, and wait for women to magically sense the ALPHANESS oozing out of you and automatically drop their pants.

Cold approach is NOT a numbers game.

Approach is NOT the same as CHASING women.

You can be alpha all you want if you a locked in an office pursuing your "purpose", women will NOT magically find you. There are plenty of well off guys that fell into this trap and wonder why they aren't drowning in pussy.

Stop trying to cut corners, stop trying to take short cuts in order to protect your fragile ego. 

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado By approach you mean girls that give you signals and you talk to them or you trying to get a girl that is not interested in you. Girls will never approach guys but they can give you clear signals that they are interested. If you talk to girls not interested it is a waste of time unless you are using it as a tool to get experience which is legit as a beginner. Yes, if you talk to 2000 girls you will get a few interested in you AFTER talking to them but it seems much more efficient to approach those that are giving you some signals. And if you say "im ugly" and no girls are initially interested, well good body language and looksmax especially gym will help a ton.

Edited August 19, 2020 by ColeMC01
adding information

[Recursoinominado]

2 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado By approach you mean girls that give you signals and you talk to them or you trying to get a girl that is not interested in you. Girls will never approach guys but they can give you clear signals that they are interested

By approach, i mean every girl that you would like to approach.

Masculine energy goes for what it wants, it does NOT wait for permission like a good little boy. Women respect that.

Also, you guys are fundamentally mistaken about how attraction works for women.

They are NOT like men, they need time to experience you and seeing you from a distance is often not enough. 

She can totally be disgusted by you at first sight and love you after you approach and do your thing.

For women, no means not now, try again later.

Men are like a light switch, we are on or off, would fuck or wouldn't.

Women are like a dimmer, they increase their interest gradually, and for this to happen, you have to spend time with them.

 

[Consept]

13 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

This is the "Red Pill" equivalent to "just be yourself and you will find the right one". 

Bullshit.

Just go approach, stop with those silly rationalizations to not approach, and wait for women to magically sense the ALPHANESS oozing out of you and automatically drop their pants.

Cold approach is NOT a numbers game.

Approach is NOT the same as CHASING women.

Just to correct you, hes not saying dont approach, a woman will most likely not approach you so that wouldnt work. What hes saying is wait until you get some indication that the woman is interested and then approach. Choosing signal could be just looking at you for a second or two or playing with their hair or whatever but some kind of signal. The alternative would be a numbers game in that you have no clue whether the girl is interested but youre going to attempt to make her interested by saying something, more than likely if she was attracted she wouldve noticed you. Im not saying cold approach wouldnt work but its similar to sales, if you go knocking door to door you will get some sales but itll be tough, if you go to people that you know are already interested in your product your hit rate will be much higher. You can rationalise it and say 'yeah just hustle no excuses' but ultimately the best sales people dont go door to door their skill is sensing when someone is interested and letting that person almost sell themselves. 

Edited August 19, 2020 by Consept

[Recursoinominado]

1 minute ago, Consept said:

The alternative would be a numbers game in that you have no clue whether the girl is interested

Read my last post, you are fundamentally wrong about how women attraction works and all your assumptions after that is going to be wrong also.

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado I do not have your experience so you are probably correct but as a newbie i have a question. How is that every couple i know the girl was already kinda interested in the gym from the start. I never saw this "win her over" thingy that you are saying. Yes girls are NOT as visual as guys but if just talking to them a bit would get them interested why have i seen this phenomenon constantly? 

[Recursoinominado]

6 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado I do not have your experience so you are probably correct but as a newbie i have a question. How is that every couple i know the girl was already kinda interested in the gym from the start. I never saw this "win her over" thingy that you are saying. Yes girls are NOT as visual as guys but if just talking to them a bit would get them interested why have i seen this phenomenon constantly? 

That's because 90% of guys don't have the balls to do cold approaches and rely on warm approaches (usually through social circle), man have been doing that since the beginning of times.

But we are in a self-development forum because we are not satisfied with mediocrity. I don't know you but i want to have control over who will be the mother of my children instead of rolling the dice on that one praying for God to send me a wife that will not ruin my life and/or my children's lives. 

I guarantee you that is better to choose one girl in one hundred because you had the balls to do cold approaches than it is to chose one out of two because you listen to some shitty relationship advice from a Youtuber that is scared shitless to approach someone. 

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado He is saying to work on yourself and the good quality girls will come towards you. It is the whole LMS vs game debate that is soo very common these days. LMS side says that focusing on maximing your looks, money, status will get high quality girls to check your ass while the game side says that maximizing your game will make high quality girls become interested in you even if they were not initially. I think balancing both is the best thing to do. No point to just do game when you re skinny af or fat without any goals or ambitions for your life or just focusing on LMS when you cannot even handle one rejection without breaking in half

Edited August 19, 2020 by ColeMC01
adding info

[Recursoinominado]

2 minutes ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Recursoinominado  It is the whole LMS vs game debate 

Why not both?

Work on yourself AND learn game. 

In fact, game is self-development for men on STEROIDS. You will learn so much about yourself, how to manage yourself, how to deal with emotions, be more charismatic, go for what you want, confidence etc. Do you think those benefits won't spread to all areas of your life?

Nothing substitutes game, there are a lot of successful guys that are a tragedy with women.

[ColeMC01]

@Recursoinominado Thanks for all the motivation. I cannot wait for life to resume normally so i can try this head on. Thing is that i am quite young and not emotionally mature yet to the point of being completely objective and grounded in myself like most mature men are. I feel quite envious when i see girls i know  get all the male attention meanwhile i have to do all this shit in hopes of getting a yes in 1/30 or even compared to good looking guys who just exist and get girls as long as they are not completely socially restarted. 

[Loving Radiance]

On 19.8.2020 at 9:32 PM, Recursoinominado said:

In fact, game is self-development for men on STEROIDS. You will learn so much about yourself, how to manage yourself, how to deal with emotions, be more charismatic, go for what you want, confidence etc. Do you think those benefits won't spread to all areas of your life?

+1

 

@Recursoinominado What is the root cause of fear of rejection (including the fear in friendly environments that don't have to have sexual energy)?

[Farnaby]

@Loving Radiance we need other people to survive. To be rejected by people triggers our fear of not being able to survive. 

But I think our childhood experiences are a more direct root cause of fear of rejection. 

[Recursoinominado]

7 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

 

What is the root cause of fear of rejection (including the fear in friendly environments that don't have to have sexual energy)?

I would say low self-esteem. 

Low Self-Esteem means low self-acceptance and self-love.

When you love and accept yourself completely and unconditionally you feel pretty good and internally grounded, external opinions don't come close to affect how you feel inside and this give you confidence, not that you will not get rejected, but that everything is going to be just fine either way.

Most people don't love themselves enough to not be affected by external input. It's like if you have one billion dollars in your bank account and more coming every day, you could be pretty reckless with your spending without worry.

But if your bank account is low, you are constantly afraid to lose it and try to protect as much as possible your money.

That explains why sociopaths and psychopaths tend to be confident because they do not give a fuck what anyone thinks and they just go for what they want. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Farnaby  duh, of course it's survival. I overlooked that. Thanks

@Recursoinominado Good explanation. Thanks.

5 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

That explains why sociopaths and psychopaths tend to be confident because they do not give a fuck what anyone thinks and they just go for what they want. 

Wasn't there a thread a few weeks/months ago where it came up that one has to realize the potential to be a psychopath... just in terms of being confident? I think it was related to PU.

[Recursoinominado]

10 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

Wasn't there a thread a few weeks/months ago where it came up that one has to realize the potential to be a psychopath... just in terms of being confident? I think it was related to PU.

Didn't saw it but it's real. One could argue that a lot of good PU exhibits sociopathic behaviors like low empathy, high ambition, highly selfish etc.

That's just something that attracts that kind of people, like politics. 

But you don't need to, you can still be empathic and a good person in general, self-love and self-acceptance is the answer.