Wasted Time

[egoeimai]

2 hours ago, FindingPeace said:

What is wasted time?

 

Αctually is bad thoughts.

Its all in the freaking mind.

We take decisions but all are choices.

Bad or good, it doesnt matter 

[Eelco1981]

@FindingPeace@Orange FindingPeace gave me the inspirations to the following:

"How does one get over wasting time? Realizing that regretting things of the past is a waste of time."

[Orange]

59 minutes ago, Eelco1981 said:

@FindingPeace@Orange FindingPeace gave me the inspirations to the following:

"How does one get over wasting time? Realizing that regretting things of the past is a waste of time."

[Anna]

I struggle with this thought sometimes too.

Yesterday I was totally lazy and I literally just ate and sleep the whole day. I was like "Oh it's already 4 p.m. and the whole apartment looks like a mess. " At first I felt really bad, but then the next thoughts came: "Actually I enjoyed the day. What if I die tomorrow? Today would have been the perfect lazy day. I'm relaxed and I feel happy." 

Enjoy every day, no matter what happens. Be happy, be present.

[Orange]

1 hour ago, Anna said:

I struggle with this thought sometimes too.

Yesterday I was totally lazy and I literally just ate and sleep the whole day. I was like "Oh it's already 4 p.m. and the whole apartment looks like a mess. " At first I felt really bad, but then the next thoughts came: "Actually I enjoyed the day. What if I die tomorrow? Today would have been the perfect lazy day. I'm relaxed and I feel happy." 

Enjoy every day, no matter what happens. Be happy, be present.

Yes I can understand that. In that case it wouldn't be a problem for me either. .But the regret I have is the time spent being depressed, time spent with the wrong people,  doing the wrong things etc. I have a terrible time forgiving myself and moving on, I can't do it atm.  I want to but I haven't found the technique .. 

Edited August 14, 2016 by Orange

[Anna]

@Orange

11 minutes ago, Orange said:

Yes I can understand that. In that case it wouldn't be a problem for me either. .But the regret I have is the time spent being depressed, time spent with the wrong people,  doing the wrong things etc. I have a terrible time forgiving myself and moving on 

I know what you mean. I spent a lot of time being depressed*, but after all it was an experience which helped me to move on. Don't judge every single situation to be good or bad, worth it or not. You can use every experience to move forward. Learn from that.

* I didn't leave the house for days, cried my eyes out, hurt myself physically and mentally and also spent time with people who were toxic.

[Orange]

1 minute ago, Anna said:

@Orange

I know what you mean. I spent a lot of time being depressed*, but after all it was an experience which helped me to move on. Don't judge every single situation to be good or bad, worth it or not. You can use every experience to move forward. Learn from that.

* I didn't leave the house for days, cried my eyes out, hurt myself physically and mentally and also spent time with people who were toxic.

Intellectually I understand it very well. I learn the lesson but in my guts I can't let go of the fact that I wasted time not experiencing life in a positive way, like a normal teenager (going out, relationships, learning etc etc). I cannot be at peace with myself there's always the resentment against myself. Did you manage to move on viscerally or intellectually? Because they are fundamentally different. 

[Anna]

@Orange The first years it helped me to move on intellectually. It was hard work and I regretted a lot.

Why do you think so much about the past? My teenage years weren't wonderful either, but I grew so strong and I wouldn't miss one day.

Do you really feel the need to have a "normal" life? What society presents you? Why don't you just accept your past as it is? Why do you still suffer? Your suffering won't change anything.

[Orange]

12 minutes ago, Anna said:

Your suffering won't change anything.

I know..I know this intellectually. But, how do I say? My thoughts always go back to the past. I don't control them. I don't have the control that's what I mean.  I feel like I missed out on a part of my life. That's where the resentment is..

 

I tried to say the same thing you did " I wouldn't miss one day" but I'm lying to myself. The truth is: I would have wanted it otherwise. But it's useless to say this because its not like life then says" OK! Fine, rewind, sorry for the wrong script, let's try this again" 

Edited August 14, 2016 by Orange

[Anna]

@Orange Mh ok, I understand. Your situation reminds me of myself, but I can tell you, understanding it is the first step to solve the whole problem. It just needs to break through the resistance of your mind.

You feel like there is something missing, but you already understand there is nothing missing, right? Did you ever try to explain it to yourself?

@Wormon Blatburm Well said!

[Orange]

3 minutes ago, Anna said:

It just needs to break through the resistance of your mind.

 

Yes! Please, please give me the hammer! How do you do this?

Quote

You feel like there is something missing, but you already understand there is nothing missing, right? Did you ever try to explain it to yourself?

Explain what?  

 

Edited August 14, 2016 by Orange

[Anna]

Just now, Orange said:

Yes! Please, please give me the hammer! How do you do this?

I can't give you a concept about that. I can only tell you what worked for me. So I held the believe my teenage years and basically my whole childhood was fucked up -> depression, feeling not normal. There are always certain moments for me when this break through happens. What I discovered was it doesn't reveal itself by just talking to myself and basically being lost in thoughts. I need to talk to someone about it. They don't need to interact actively with me, they just listen. Everything single thought comes out and sometimes it's just a simple word or a sentence and the OH-MY-GOD!-moment happens. Same with the day I discovered the root cause of my depression. I talked to a friend, talked, talked, cried...I realized I suppress my feelings. The feeling is amazing when you understand the root cause of your problem not only on the surface, but deeper.

11 minutes ago, Orange said:

Explain what?  

Look above. You understand it on the surface, but deep down inside you still resist.

 

[Orange]

8 minutes ago, Anna said:

 

Look above. You understand it on the surface, but deep down inside you still resist.

 

Yes. So much

Edited August 14, 2016 by Orange

[Anna]

@Orange What about meditation? Do you practice it?

Did you try to let this feeling of waste come out? I mean really like feeling it fully?

[Orange]

1 minute ago, Anna said:

@Orange What about meditation? Do you practice it?

Did you try to let this feeling of waste come out? I mean really like feeling it fully?

No..Not entirely.  I think about it then I think of something else, then it comes again, then goes etc etc etc

[Anna]

@Orange Sounds like there is chaos in your head. Meditation really helps to calm down the mind, so you can think clearly. It also raises awareness which helps you feeling it fully. It would probably help you to get this feeling out. You intellectually understand there is nothing missing, so allow yourself to feel it.

Maybe Leo's latest video will help you:

Or this one:

Calm down your mind and clear this chaos.

[Orange]

@Anna thank you <3 and the first one just came out, like a fresh egg lol

[Anna]

@Orange No problem. Hopefully it helps. Be persistent with it!

[MIARIVEL]

@Orange some great advice on here. I would suggest to write out what your ideal life would look like. What is it that you would like to be doing on a daily basis? and then start incorporating these things into your daily routine bits at a time so you are not overwhelmed with everything you want to do. 

Next have a goals list, what do you want to achieve today? this week? this month? heals goals, family goals, study goals, relationship goals etc. For every goal write down a timeframe in which you wish to achieve these goals. You have yourself mini projects, track this so you can see your own progress. 

I love doing this for myself and I have lists for everything. I love the feeling of crossing something off my list and seeing everything I have achieved from that list. This gives me a sense of accomplishment.