Wasted Time

[Orange]

How does one get over regret of wasting time? I should be able to let it go by now but it's always in the background of my head...its so sticky! 

 

[egoeimai]

By doing things that important and spending your time wisely.

Also when youre feeling bad or havjng these thoughts...do sth important or creative

Edited August 8, 2016 by popi

[egoeimai]

So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for
those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years

[Eelco1981]

@Orange Wow, that is an interesting question. I was very very neurotic myself. I still am. A voice in my head keeps telling me "Don't just sit there, there is work to do. The work is never done! Do not be so lazy, do something useful! Have you seen the to do list? Why are you procrastinating? Get up, go to work, do the dishes, clean the house, call your grandma, clean up your mailbox, do some exercises, go to the gym, etc. etc. etc."

I never let my self take a rest. Why? Several reasons: I am trying to escape from reality. By being busy I do not have to think about the present or the future. When I am busy I can tell myself I am doing a good job, that my life has a meaning. If all work is done, what then? What meaning does my life have? Got to stay busy, no time to waste.

it is all an ilusion!

I am doing Leo's Life Purpose Course. Now I finally have a goal in my life, finding my life purpose. After that, I will be busy with my life purpose. Now when I take a break, I feel more comfortable. Because I know I have a goal in mind, my life is meaningful (on some level). Taking a break now is to gather energy to get on with my life purpose. So I don't have to stay busy to forget that my life is meaningless.

Secondly: I always was pursuing happiness in the next moment. That is chasing your tail. All there is is Now. Happiness is not in the future. It is Now. Analyze your patterns: do you think you are wasting time because you think that when X or Y happens, you will be happy? When you have a job, when you have a house, when you have a partner, when you got your degree. Is it then that you can relax and say "I made it!" It is an illusion. (this last paragraph was inspired by Eckhart Tolle's work)

So: start meditating daily and find the truth in what I wrote above. Success!

[Orange]

@Eelco1981 yes I have a lot of trouble being happy in the present. I'm always waiting for the next event to be happy. And when it comes, there's another in the horizon..It never ends 

Eg. I finished my degree okay now I can be happy right? But no because I need to find a job now, I'll be happy when I find one

 

Also it's this thought that I've wasted so much time on stupid things and I could never get it back..so many missed opportunities

Edited August 9, 2016 by Orange

[Eelco1981]

2 minutes ago, Orange said:

@Eelco1981 yes I have a lot of trouble being happy in the present. I'm always waiting for the next event to be happy. And when it comes, there's another in the horizon..It never ends 

Eg. I finished my degree okay now I can be happy right? But no because I need to find a job now, I'll be happy when I find one

It never ends. When you have your job, you want you first pay-check, but then you see the money and you want to buy your first television, car, furniture, big bed. Then you still feel empty. Then you want your own place and start renting something. Then you want something bigger. Then you need a raise. You get the raise, you get the bigger apartment, but you still feel empty. Then you want a partner. You get the partner, but he/she is not what you thought is was, you get another, and another and another. Then you don't want to rent anymore, you want your own house. Because THEN you'll be happy. Then you buy your house, move in together, buy all the furniture and cars you need. Then a dog, a bigger tv, a child. But still something is missing. (Although a child gives you meaning/happiness for a long time). Then you want your child to grow up, to walk, to speak, because then you really could do cool stuff with him. Then you can be happy. Then you get another job, another job, another job. You get your body in shape. But still, something is missing. Fathermockers, why do I not get fulfilled here???? I keep chasing my tail. Then you turn 35, get in a divorce, a depression and finally then you come into contact with Actualized.org and finally start to do the inner work, instead of trying to get happy with EXTERNAL things. The start of the spiritual path.

Story of my life in short.

[Orange]

 

@Eelco1981 wow. I'm walking in your shoes now ..

 

[Matthew Lamot]

@Orange

The thing is, you are never going to be happy.  That much I will say to you right now.  It's never going to happen.

The reason I say this is because you will go through an entire life, possibly lifetimes to get to the point where you might be considering the fact that being a person in this existence might not be the right conditions for happiness.

Many people have searched since the dawn of history to find ways to become happy.  But have you noticed, none of these things ever really work?  

I ' m suggesting that you think about this seriously and not come back (any of you) with some snappy answer, some reactive answer that you learned from an outside source.  Unless you have yourself discovered the right means for being happy always then I don't want to hear from you!

I don't want to be rude, I am being realistic.  

No human being on this earth has ever found happiness,  you can verify this for yourself by looking into your experience, your mind, your history books.  Think about it seriously.

What do you think the path is to true everlasting happiness is?

Have you found the method?

 

[Orange]

Have you found it @Matthew Lamot?

[egoeimai]

I completely disagree. But who cares.

[Matthew Lamot]

1 minute ago, Orange said:

Have you found it @Matthew Lamot?

Yes I have found the right path.  It is true Advaita Vedanta.  The path of the Realization of the Self.  

Not the dumbed down teaching used to lure people into the practice, but the true Advaita, the path where YOU get nothing whatsoever from this path. 

If you have evolved to the position of wanting true happiness you must be willing to give up the search and give up being an individual who is looking for happiness.

Like I said, you can live through lifetimes to try to think your way into happiness, believing that it is attainable in this life as a human being, as "you" but alas it is not possible.  

This is why Advaita apparently exists in this world.  For the likes who have come to the end of their long search.

Are you willing to take a look?

[Orange]

@Matthew Lamot sure I am.  Actually it sounds like the 'dropping the ego' theory where you just "are" and that's it..right?

[Matthew Lamot]

1 minute ago, Orange said:

@Matthew Lamot sure I am.  Actually it sounds like the 'dropping the ego' theory where you just "are" and that's it..right?

That is the watered down version.  The ego cannot be dropped, and where you "are" right now is not what you will see and discover.  The I thought must be destroyed permanently and that means you and your wish to be happy.  You must literally be willing to give up this time space existence.  This is not about ego's, it's about the final exit of the experiencer itself.

This is radical beyond anything you can grasp right now.  

There is no world, no existence, and never was.  If you are willing to give that up (and this obviously includes the dualistic notion of happiness) you will discover what true happiness really is.

[Orange]

20 minutes ago, Matthew Lamot said:

 

There is no world, no existence, and never was.  If you are willing to give that up (and this obviously includes the dualistic notion of happiness) you will discover what true happiness really is.

I don't understand any of this that you wrote. It makes no sense to me. Zero. Do you recommend a book/video? Or can you explain a little more in detail maybe?

Edited August 9, 2016 by Orange

[Matthew Lamot]

8 minutes ago, Orange said:

Yea I don't understand any of this that you wrote. It makes no sense to me. Zero. Do you recommend a book/video? Or can you explain a little more in detail maybe?

 

[Orange]

@Matthew Lamot thanks

[Matthew Lamot]

This will explain maybe why you can't and never will find an object called happiness while you are operating under the current materialist paradigm.  

Because there is no you to find happiness

[ProblemSolving]

Would totally stick to the definition of @Matthew Lamot. The moment you think: "Ah jezz, I regret what I did". That is also a "wasted" moment. From that point if you try to do things that are "better" or whatever, you basically are just driven by fear. Be happy or don't be. Or even better, think beyond the boundaries of vocabulary. Be. Just be. If you go outside and there is no war going on and then you breathe in the good air and let the sun shine on your face, if you find absolute appreciation in such very little things then you are very close to something that we might call "happiness". Don't ever see happiness as an object to possess. This is just pure egoism. See it as a process/path that has no beginning or end. 

And if you are able to throw away that word and never ever think about it again, you might eventually become a happier person  There is a very important lesson to be learned on this "self-actualization" journey. We get to know techniques how we are supposed to improve our lives, but using the techniques isn't really the solution. We have to become the solution. The things we decide to learn must be fully accepted to prevent resistence inside your mind. Otherwise it is just one of the things that you have to worry about or so. And this can only lead to more resistence/suffering and whatsoever. 

[FindingPeace]

On 08/08/2016 at 9:54 PM, Orange said:

How does one get over regret of wasting time?

What is wasted time?

Doing nothing? Doing the 'wrong' things? Not creating 'success'?

What is being 'wasted'? What is the alternative to wasting time?

When I hear people worrying about wasting time they usually mean 'not using time productively'. But then I wonder what 'productive' is? And why it is so important. More often it seems to me that this 'productive' ideal is just the pursuit of fake growth - some external artifact that represents success and achievement which is being used as a mask for a feeling of emptiness and unfulfillment.

The underlying cause of this fear of time wasting is the underlying feeling of emptiness. Which comes from the lack of understanding of what happiness is. Ideally one should be capable of sitting in a room for a day just doing nothing at all and being content and fulfilled with complete peace of mind. But most would deem this a 'waste' of time. The pursuit of success and acheivement is the usual priority.

The other thing here the 'regret' of wasting time. Regret is a reflection on the past, which has been and gone and no longer exists. You can't change it. It was what it was. It is now a memory, a story in your mind. Instead, focus on the now and on the future. Rather than sitting around regretting the past, get on with creating a new future. If you 'wasted time' in the past, then don't 'waste time' now and in the future.

The present moment is all you have, so use it to follow your passion right now. Reliving stories about the past serves no valuable purpose. Act now. Do what needs to be done now.

[Orange]

2 hours ago, FindingPeace said:

What is wasted time?

Doing nothing? Doing the 'wrong' things? Not creating 'success'?

 

For me it was not working on my life purpose, and doing other trivial things that don't matter like organising and cleaning everything, going out with people to clubs I don't even like, Internet browsing etc etc.  

Quote

 

The other thing here the 'regret' of wasting time. Regret is a reflection on the past, which has been and gone and no longer exists. You can't change it. It was what it was. It is now a memory, a story in your mind. Instead, focus on the now and on the future. Rather than sitting around regretting the past, get on with creating a new future. If you 'wasted time' in the past, then don't 'waste time' now and in the future.

The present moment is all you have, so use it to follow your passion right now. Reliving stories about the past serves no valuable purpose. Act now. Do what needs to be done now.

This is a great reminder, thanks! 

Edited August 10, 2016 by Orange