I Am Really Confused.

[Richard Alpert]

6 minutes ago, ttm said:

I think your sum-up of his situation is rather... oversimplified to the point it doesn't have pretty much anything to do with reality. Of course I thought too that maybe it could be too much to start with, but I guarantee that reading it can not be as harmful as "just going to play on public". There's a lot more going on there than just facing the fear of doing that particular thing.

Oh wait, I can't guarantee that. How should I know?

i said to the kid that train some month more and go to some park which is not so growded and play easy. Start from there.

He doesnt need to chance his psychology to do that. He is already capable of doing it.

[ttm]

17 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

That why i was trying to help this kid.

I did not mean to say that you weren't helping or that your advice is necessarily bad. I just said that it is a real possibility that it would as easily be the last nail in his coffin of musical interest. 

56 minutes ago, ttm said:

even though it may be an eye-opener, it might as well end up making your thought go haywire

This is what I said in my first post. When a person is coming from this:

2 hours ago, bloo said:

– WHY THESE THOUGHTS WON’T STOP ?

and you say that you guarantee that he well regret it in the future if he does not do what you tell him to do (even if it was true), it could worsen his situation if he believes that but were unable to go for it. This can create a whole lot of more unnecessary bad feelings and thoughts.

And he's just 19 years old, he'll have decades worth of opportunities to go playing public, and if he does it when he's more confident and skillful (a year from now? he's 20 then, hardly going to grave soon), it can be dramatically different experience. 

Edited August 8, 2016 by ttm

[egoeimai]

1 minute ago, Richard Alpert said:

 

He doesnt need to chance his psychology to do that. He is already capable of doing it.

Capable,physically. But with negative thinking,not. You cant acheive big things as he wants.

[Richard Alpert]

I really dont think he needs to get rid of his fucked upness first.

dont most of us have negative thought, insecurities if we try something new or little scary. those negative thoughts doesnt have to stop us.

[ttm]

49 minutes ago, Eelco1981 said:

@ttm hahahah You couldn't find a thicker book to recommend?

 

Now that I think, I really couldn't. 

[ttm]

34 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

those negative thoughts doesnt have to stop us.

Even if they didn't stop us doing the things we think we want to do, they can easily prevent us enjoying any of it. On the other hand, even if we didn't do anything we thought we wanted to, but instead learnt what thoughts really are and let go of them, just being through life can be so extremely enjoyable, that it couldn't be even imagined.

[Consept]

Hey man, sorry about this confusion you're going through but trust me it will get better just from the fact you're trying to do something. 

I think your issue is a couple things - one is that your completely focused on results, most of your worries seem to be worrying about whether you'll make it, whether you'll be a success etc, the fact is you don't know and can never really know the answet to that, what you should try to do is enjoy whatever it is you're doing now. The reas on why you want to pick something you enjoy is so you enjoy it regardless of what the outcome is. If you have this mindset then you'll truly be able to create something. 

Second you're looking for definite answers to everything, there are no definite answers! You could get everything you want and then lose it the next day, this is life. Once you accept that you can never know what will happen next you get a certain freedom. Think of a butterfly, it just floats around, never knowing where it's going but some how gets everything it needs to survive or it doesn't, either way it doesn't worry about it. 

 

Anyway good luck man, also you're young you probably won't have everything figured out yet and that's fine accept that 

[electroBeam]

@bloo stop playing your guitar, and write a book about your life, because that was a fucking intriguing story you told there.

[egoeimai]

5 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@bloo stop playing your guitar, and write a book about your life, because that was a fucking intriguing story you told there.

If you want,tell me what you find interesting!

[Richard Alpert]

15 hours ago, ttm said:

Even if they didn't stop us doing the things we think we want to do, they can easily prevent us enjoying any of it. On the other hand, even if we didn't do anything we thought we wanted to, but instead learnt what thoughts really are and let go of them, just being through life can be so extremely enjoyable, that it couldn't be even imagined.

with this logic we can wait our whole lifetime to heal ourself and avoid doing anything.

[ttm]

1 minute ago, Richard Alpert said:

with this logic we can wait our whole lifetime to heal ourself and avoid doing anything.

That's why I didn't promote the idea that we shouldn't do anything.

[bloo]

Hey all. I thank you all for your replies and help. I hang out yesterday with my friends and I could't log in on my phone. But I appreciate every answer and I would want even more answers...but I am not sure how to ask them :D...I guess I will have to find on my own. Today I practiced guitar again...the boring part and even tho I kinda felt like shit in the beginning I tried to be aware of the fact that they are just thought and content and I tried to stay focused on my practice and ignore the thought's content. Worked pretty well. Thanks all again your your answers and help :D.