Gloria in Excelsis Deo,!

[Amaal]

Hello everyone, 

This is my first post here, I began my spiritual quest about 4 years ago. And I came across Leo's videos about 2 years ago, but I didn't know about the Forum until now. I'm super happy to finally find such a community. And I would like to thank Leo for his great, informative, and eye-opening efforts. 

(There is no valuable content below, I just wanted to share a part of my experience, and ask a silly question)

 

It is really delightful to witness this spiritual revolution, although I'm from an Islamic culture/background and live in a Muslim society (where religion still plausible and taken seriously), I have noticed a massive change in the past few years, people are awakening, start to address life's big questions, and question the cultural inherited belief systems/religion openly. Antidepressants consumption increased rapidly year after year, and people begin to realize that the materialistic self-indulgent lifestyle isn't the answer, and they start to look inward. I think part of it has to do with online New-age content (YouTube for example).

 

Since my early 20s and my existential crisis experience, I always felt that there is something missing, something is wrong, there is some sort of intelligent entity, a grand magnificent designer behind all of this. I never believed in the religion version and our (Narcissist king living in the sky judging our lives and gives us point if we remain obedient.) I knew it's no more than a cultural projection. And although most of my 20s I was more drawn to the SCIENCE/atheism camp, I never truly fully convinced by the rational (by "coincidence") interpretation of the universe.  

 

I was immersed in meaningless existence, and 4 years ago these skeptical questions start to flow into my head, what am I? where does this awareness come from? who the hell are these creatures anyway? How do I work?  thus, I went into this quiet isolation and start to investigate my engine (the mind). And a warm spectacular long journey followed.

I moved from nihilistic (why bother we all gonna die eventually) mindset to (I am God and all is fun) mindset. 

ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ

 

I had my most influential profound experience about 14 months ago, I went on this wonderful retreat in Kyoto-Japan. I was meditating in an emotional state, and I kept repeating the phrase (I am Word) mentally for like 50 minutes or so. Suddenly I felt this overwhelming energy of warmth and peace flowing through my awareness! I felt as if "I" was in front of my face, as if "I" was suspended in the air in front of my body, It was weird pleasant altered state of consciousness, AWE feeling beyond all words. All these physical bodily sensations set me free! I opened my eyes and everything seem different, more vivid, and peaceful in unfamiliar way. I felt like this is my REAL state, I belong to that... and this majestic sense remain with me for few days after, I was experiencing the world in a complete different way. It's as if I've been seeing reality in black and white and suddenly colors appeared.  And although it was a short experience, I still feel this glorious "bigger than life" feeling every time I recall it.

I have experienced whole new awareness/perception of reality many times before but nothing like this. 

And I've been longing to this same experience ever since..

I think maybe because deep down I'm focusing on a specific result, I can't reach it

I know many of you have these profound experiences a lot, and I really need some insights here.. 

Since I have reached this expanded "beyond words" state of consciousness, why did I lose that feeling of belonging, clarity and deep peacefulness? I don't know how to put it, but it feels like I reached that energy state and then I have regressed to a less developed state.

 

If someone can share similar experiences I would appreciate it..  

 

Have a safe day!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 9, 2020 by Amaal

[dharm4]

If you feel lost, remember who I am: I am the divine expression of love.

We are together for eternity,

I love you.

Enjoy your day.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Amaal said:

why did I lose that feeling of belonging, clarity and deep peacefulness? I don't know how to put it, but it feels like I reached that energy state and then I have regressed to a less developed state.

This is typical. Many different kinds of mystical states exist, and most of them are temporary.

You can't really hold on to a positive state. Which is why the ultimate goal of awakening is to transcend all states by realizing Nothingness. If your happiness is contingent on a high state, then you'll lose it as soon as your state drops. Which is why chasing states becomes a trap.

[VeganAwake]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

This is typical. Many different kinds of mystical states exist, and most of them are temporary.

You can't really hold on to a positive state. Which is why the ultimate goal of awakening is to transcend all states by realizing Nothingness. If your happiness is contingent on a high state, then you'll lose it as soon as your state drops. Which is why chasing states becomes a trap.

? 

[VeganAwake]

@Amaal  Welcome ❤..

the very act of seeking for a better experience in the future makes what's here and now subtly feel unsatisfactory.... kind of like the grass is always greener on the other side except the other side isn't real.

The sense of 'self' or Maya keeps itself alive by perpetually seeking for a better experience in the future.

Enlightenment is the collapsing of this self-centered energy that needs things to be one way or the other... it's recognizing every experience was already complete freedom and unconditional love... it was just the mind that said otherwise...