Childhood Abuse Trauma Therapy

[Preety_India]

I want to document my journey of freedom from trauma forever. 

I haven't reached there yet. But one day this trauma will leave my body for good. 

 

Edited August 9, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Liberation 

Shadow work 

Cleaning the inner toilet 

 

Using poison to defeat poison 

Talk therapy 

Exorcism 

Removal of inner dark entity 

 

Embodying the flying spirit 

Understanding Evil and Suffering 

Understanding the dark side of life and the world. 

Supernatural causes of sufferings and their supernatural solutions 

Looking at the supernatural aspects of life and the world 

Dark entity removal 

exorcism, talk therapy, mild hypnosis, calming, cleansing inner toilet, trauma release, shadow work, liberating and dealing with personal suffering, helping the person cope and deal with their suffering and obtain liberation from the suffering, help people work through their deepest emotional traumas. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Cleaning the inner toilet 

Dark entity removal 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I believe that life is sacred and spiritual. And that we are too physical for this life. 

And we are not equipped to deal with the spiritual nature of life and that's why there is chaos. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

4 stages 

1. Understanding morality and religion 

2 understanding evil and devil 

3 Enlightenment (seeking freedom from physical form, seeking liberation, renunciation of life, outgrowing life, you realize that life is bullshit and it won't fulfill your needs/potential in physical form) 

4. Higher realms and Healing the planet 

 

 

Higher realms and Healing the planet - 

Thinking about your higher goals when you are liberated from suffering. 

Whats next when all the bad things have left you 

Your true inner potential. Mythology, art, health, beauty, ritual, community, ecosystem, fellowship, literature, science, better living for everyone, peace and equilibrium. 

Healing the planet

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[studentofthegame]

Good luck with this work, it is what i am working on as well. Uncovering and processing past traumas, integrating all the fragmented parts and being my own therapist. It's a journey.

[Preety_India]

 

Last night I had a dream. I was laid on a table. It felt surreal. There were people looking at me and standing near me. I was just gazing. 

I felt like a lost child of heaven. 

One guy was busy hypnotizing me. I was gazing into his eyes. It felt like he understood me. 

It felt like an endless journey. I was murmuring to this guy. 

The atmosphere was strange but I didn’t want to leave the table. 

Time had stood still. 

There was so much going on. I felt weirdly comforted. 

Comforted in the hands of the devil. Because the good people had rejected me as bad, unwanted, unworthy. 

I had been a good child, but an unwanted one. 

Now I felt like there was a hand slowly brushing over my forehead, stroking my hair. 

The music was made of Iove. 

The music was like this 

 

[Preety_India]

 

One day my father had suddenly left, probably he was suicidal. He was sick of my mom constantly abusing him. 

I felt awful. I was just 13 or 14. That day was an awful day. I wanted to know what happened. I thought he would never come back. It turned out he was at his brother's house venting out his frustration. 

Then he came back home. But I was never the same. 

I used to love my dad the most. Sadly he left me for heaven. 

[Preety_India]

As a child, I used to dream of leaving this world. 

My first suicidal ideation was when I was 14.

I thought it would be so nice if I walked towards an ocean and disappeared into the waves and nobody would see me and all the pain would be over forever. 

That was a better way of ending myself 

But I have come to realize that it's not suicide that I want, but FREEDOM. 

I wanted freedom from this existence, or in other words I did not want my existence to be this way. 

I wanted freedom from suffering. 

I think most people who commit suicide also want the same, freedom from their pain. 

Suicidal ideation was a huge part of my existence. 

I sometimes wondered why there were barricades raised on bridges. Why weren't people allowed to jump? It's their life, their will. 

If they wanted freedom, then why should they be stopped? 

Ethically and morally, the only person who can have the right to end their life is the person itself. How and why can the world decide if they should live or not. Isn't the right to live the most basic right, then why not the right to die?

So if this life is a hell, we are not even allowed to escape it? 

Why to save a person who doesn't want to be saved? 

Anyway, this is all an afterthought... 

I have tried cutting myself several times. All it does is leave scars. 

I want a rebirth. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Somewhere between the lines, I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to be freed, I wanted to be accepted, I wanted to be understood. 

I was also a child of God 

If God doesn't judge us, then why the people of God judge us? 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

@DrewNows thank you for helping me. I will look into those videos. You rock. 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

In my search for peace, I turned to every religion in the world,

I even turned to satanism. And I'm not ashamed. 

I wanted to explore every religion every culture, I learned a lot along the way, it was a tremendous experience, science can never do what religion can, atheists are deeply wrong and I'm not going to waste my time debating an atheist but I have understood that religion exists for a reason. It's both pulverizing and emancipatory. 

Atheism is a huge clash. 

There is a deep chasm between atheism and religion. An atheist to me like a parent trying to understand a mall goth teen. 

Or a scientist trying to decode the sadness of a poet. It will never happen. You won't understand why people follow religion. They want something. They get something. Demonizing them is not the way. 

What atheists are looking for is a rationalization. 

But with religion, there is no rationalization, that's the point 

Religion is not rational, it wasn't meant to be, that's why it's religion. 

People follow religion, not because they are looking for logic and rationality. They wouldn't look to religion for that. They look to religion for hope and meaning. To make sense of their desperation, to find acceptance, to create a foundation for existence. It's a system like any other that can be subject to both rewards and flaws. Granted that religion is flawed. 

But what to call a science that creates atom bombs? That does genetic experiments and psychological experiments on humans and leaves them impaired for life. 

If we want to  take into account the lives lost because of religion, then why not take into account the lives lost because of destructive scientific inventions. 

Sam Harris once said that the cure to bad science is not no science but better science. Then why not better religion. 

In my mind, you can either sanitize something or bastardize it, depends on you. 

The end result is that everything is a system. It can have the good and the bad. The benefits and the flaws. It's how you use it and what intent and purpose you have that moulds the system. 

 

Satanism has helped me in some way to feel freer and better. It has made me realize that suffering is a part of existence. And acceptance is needed. I need to accept my suffering and realize that life was not meant to be perfect, that life was meant to be this way. 

My life was meant to be this way. 

I will never be an atheist no matter what. Atheism is not liberating to me, but a reductionist approach, not fitting to my taste. 

 

Edited August 10, 2020 by Preety_India