Emotional Despair as a Spiritual Practice

[Ariesleith]

This year has been amazing for me as far as how much development has happened. I have had depression sense freshman year(I'm a senior) and I am now seeing it genuinely as a great asset. If you are depressed, I highly recommend not fucking with the antidepressants. Just please eat some mushrooms. Despair is an aspect of gods love(I am a Buddhist more so than christian, but in my case I simply mean infinity by the word god). 

In psychedelic traditions around the world a shaman is made after someone is basically so depressed that they become suicidal, then the functional guru of said society guides them through a horrible period of torturous emotions and metaphysical confusion into a state of superior understanding and feelings. I'd love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience to me this year: being that my previous feelings of pain have alchemized into gold, a spiritual gold like a lotus necklace warped around the neck of avalokiteshvara( the Buddha of compassion).  Name este 

[Nahm]

@Ariesleith Hell ya. Beautiful. ?? 

[Mu_]

On 8/7/2020 at 1:43 AM, Ariesleith said:

This year has been amazing for me as far as how much development has happened. I have had depression sense freshman year(I'm a senior) and I am now seeing it genuinely as a great asset. If you are depressed, I highly recommend not fucking with the antidepressants. Just please eat some mushrooms. Despair is an aspect of gods love(I am a Buddhist more so than christian, but in my case I simply mean infinity by the word god). 

In psychedelic traditions around the world a shaman is made after someone is basically so depressed that they become suicidal, then the functional guru of said society guides them through a horrible period of torturous emotions and metaphysical confusion into a state of superior understanding and feelings. I'd love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience to me this year: being that my previous feelings of pain have alchemized into gold, a spiritual gold like a lotus necklace warped around the neck of avalokiteshvara( the Buddha of compassion).  Name este 

Interesting to read this, I've wondered something similar, since my depression and lack of interest in living seemed to later transform into a strength of not being afraid of dying and free from any sort of need to be anything for anyone, including myself.  Along with that the willingness to accept the worse and be in any uncomfortable situation transformed into a inner peace and lack of needing to control anything.  Just a possibility really, but I've wondered none the less.

[Luciphene]

On 07/08/2020 at 6:43 AM, Ariesleith said:

In psychedelic traditions around the world a shaman is made after someone is basically so depressed that they become suicidal, then the functional guru of said society guides them through a horrible period of torturous emotions and metaphysical confusion into a state of superior understanding and feelings. 

That’s exactly what happened to me! Spooky! 
 

I don’t know whether it’s objectively a superior state, that doesn’t feel right to me. It’s better for me, it’s a nicer experience. I feel much happier, more balanced, more compassionate. More open and authentic and human. 
 

 

[Ariesleith]

@Mu_ That's cool, for me also the times of depression are of great use in poetry and music and philosophy also. I am still functionally afraid of death as in if I was about to die id probably shit my pants, but I'd rather die than kill someone. I see death as a continuation of the metaphysical factors which gave birth to you to begin with, in other words death is simply the necessary step to reincarnation. So actually I am terrified of death, but only in so far as I have negative karma(action(s))

[electroBeam]

Yeah definitely its the journey I've gone through in this incarnation. It happened in primary school, high school, university, beyond university, and now. Its such a repetitive theme of my life, that I now see depressive, and suffering intensive climax of a particular chapter of my life, as being vital for moving onto the next stage. And I subconsciously look for those moments, specifically to take the opportunity to grow from them.

It sort of comes off as weird or off putting to some others. They just can't understand why I'm actively looking for a challenging trip, or I'm pushing myself close to burnout, or actually open to exploring things which could be dangerous. 

[Mu_]

20 hours ago, Ariesleith said:

@Mu_ That's cool, for me also the times of depression are of great use in poetry and music and philosophy also. I am still functionally afraid of death as in if I was about to die id probably shit my pants, but I'd rather die than kill someone. I see death as a continuation of the metaphysical factors which gave birth to you to begin with, in other words death is simply the necessary step to reincarnation. So actually I am terrified of death, but only in so far as I have negative karma(action(s))

Ya death is something that is worth looking into for some, since so much of ones choices and limitations can hinge on the idea's around it.