Do most girls really like assholes?

[Leo Gura]

They like: confidence, assertiveness, detachment from outcome, driven-ness, strength, leadership, charisma.

Which tends to be what assholes have a lot of.

[Farnaby]

@Leo Gura aren't assholes often hiding a lot of insecurity and just putting up an act? 

Don't you think it's possible to be nice  and warm (not nice in like people pleasing) and also confident, charismatic, etc.?  

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Farnaby said:

@Leo Gura aren't assholes often hiding a lot of insecurity and just putting up an act?

Existentially, of course those assholes are deeply neurotic and scared egos. But the act is good enough for most girls. Most girls are equally as neurotic as the assholes they get attracted to.

Like attracts like. The more screwed up the girl, the more screwed up a guy she will attract, and vice versa.

Quote

Don't you think it's possible to be nice  and warm (not nice in like people pleasing) and also confident, charismatic, etc.?  

Yes, of course.

But also, to be assertive requires being a bit of a dick sometimes.

You can be a warm dick

Attracting girls is a very specific and narrow skill set. It's like fishing. You need the right bait.

[WaveInTheOcean]

18 hours ago, Evil Raccoon said:

By "most girls" I mean girls that are either orange or orange/green (but who are still chimps) and even blue/orange ones that are modern enough/not too religious.

I thought that by being a badboy I wud get all the chicks but it dosen't seem to work since most girls are either not interrested in me or find me obnoxious/too arrogant.And I have game, I'm not just savagely hitting on girls like a fucking ape without any pick up techniques.Of course some girls like me and shit (I'm no dweeb, I've got laid before) but I'm still far away from being a Casanova.Why is that? Don't nice guys finish last?  I know that you don't have to either be a total asshole or a beta nice guy but since we live in a society that is mostly stage orange (thus glorifying that badboy/alpha male image of masculinity) isn't being a douchebag the most effective way to get laid? Plus, since I've decided to be a chimp and not persue the Hero's Journey, I feel like not being bad wouldn't be authentic to me.So what should I do? Pretending to not be sexually thirsty/faking being a nice person just to get some pussy? To me that's even WORSE than being an asshole!

LOL

HAHAhaha. For god's sake man.

this line is gold "since I've decided to be a chimp and not persue the Hero's Journey, I feel like not being bad wouldn't be authentic to me."

No. You are being inauthentic. You cannot not be, unless you start actually valuing honesty and consciousness and love.

You see. since you - after all - are so conscious of yourself/reality that you can acknowledge that you have chosen to be a chimp, that means that the only way forward in life for you is to transcend that, i.e. move up the spiral towards yellow and beyond. You see, on a conscious-level you are obviously green or higher ,since you can be so self-reflection/self-conscious. 

My point is, you are not the real deal for the girls. That's why you're far from being a casanova. If you really were a true unconscious chimp/badboy/prick, then you'd get more girls. Also if you started taking your own spiritual path seriously and started consciously to not-act-like-a-chimp and instead pursue Love/God (that is: your higher/true self: consciousness/awarenesss), then you'd start finding that higher-developed girls would start finding you interesting.

After the stage orange ego have been fed up with enough superficial sex with other stage orange/stage blue girls, then it will eventually start to put less value on the amount of sex it gets, and instead focus on self-actualization/development and the quality of sex/women (being attractive to stage green and above-girls).

Edited August 4, 2020 by WaveInTheOcean

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura  I just saw your "the theme of going full circle" video (amazing video btw) and there you say that girls like the guy to be more like a girl. So fliratous, smiling, expressive, spontaneous etc. Here however you say to be bold, detatched, strong, leader etc. Which one is it? Should you combine both together? 

[WaveInTheOcean]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

They like: confidence, assertiveness, detachment from outcome, driven-ness, strength, leadership, charisma.

Which tends to be what assholes have a lot of.

on the surface.

For instance, "detacahment from outcome" ... yeah they present themselves that way outwardly, but inwardly all assholes are attached as fuck to their own ego and thus also outcomes; otherwise they wouldn't be assholes:-)

Edited August 4, 2020 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Attracting girls is a very specific and narrow skill set. It's like fishing. You need the right bait.

Yeah, if you are just focusing on getting lots of superficial sex with fine, unconscious women, then sure, you need the right bait.

But if you are looking for a potential high-conscious soulmate, then to hell with "skill sets", fishing, and bait.
Here, honesty, consciousness and real Self-Love are the "skill sets" you want to apply.

Edited August 4, 2020 by WaveInTheOcean

[Leo Gura]

27 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Yeah, if you are just focusing on getting lots of superficial sex with fine, unconscious women, then sure, you need the right bait.

But if you are looking for a potential high-conscious soulmate, then to hell with "skill sets", fishing, and bait.
Here, honesty, consciousness and real Self-Love are the "skill sets" you want to apply.

There is no difference between attracting a chain-smoking club slut vs a virgin enlightened unicorn soul princess.

The attraction triggers are all hardwired deep in her brain stem and are the same.

That enlightened unicorn soul princess likes to get bent over and fucked just like any other girl.

Watch out for the myth of spiritual people somehow being special snowflakes who are above the animal drives. No they aren't. They are horny animals just like everyone else.

The girl who pretends that she is special and "not that type of girl" is exactly the type of girl who will sleep with an asshole psychopath at the drop of a dime.

Every girl thinks she is "not that type of girl".

[mandyjw]

16 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no difference between attracting a chain-smoking club slut vs a virgin enlightened unicorn soul princess.

The attraction triggers are all hardwired deep in her brain stem and are the same.

That enlightened unicorn soul princess likes to get bent over and fucked just like any other girl.

Watch out for the myth of spiritual people somehow being special snowflakes who are above the animal drives. No they aren't. They are horny animals just like everyone else.

The girl who pretends that she is special and "not that type of girl" is exactly the type of girl who will sleep with an asshole psychopath at the drop of a dime.

Every girl thinks she is "not that type of girl".

And you know this by experience? Of course what people say and what they actually think are entirely different things. 

[Eren Eeager]

6 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

My goodness, from reading the title I thought this was some sort of fetish thread.

omg you cracked me up

[AtheisticNonduality]

18 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

My goodness, from reading the title I thought this was some sort of fetish thread.

It secretly is.

[Roy]

Yes most girls do like assholes, because they don't know what's good for them. They are naive, hopeful romantics. Fortunately most usually wise up later on though after years of being abused and treated like trash.

The really sad sight is seeing older women in their 30's, 40's who drift from place to place in the world, usually with a child at their side.

Never ever get in a relationship with a single mother by the way, under any circumstances. There is never a larger possible red flag than someone with a kid. It means either their overall judgment is absolutely terrible (choosing an awful partner who left them with a kid), or it means they themselves were so awful a great partner left lol.

[Leo Gura]

19 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

And you know this by experience? Of course what people say and what they actually think are entirely different things. 

What if I said this:

High quality enlightened guys don't like perfectly shaped big tits. They are just too special for that. They are above that. Only scumbag guys like that.

Would you believe it?

[mandyjw]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

What if I said this:

High quality enlightened guys don't like perfectly shaped big tits. They are just too special for that. They are above that. Only scumbag guys like that.

Would you believe it?

 No. But I do believe that some people are wise enough to value some things more heavily that other more shallow, surface level things. Maybe that's naive, and of course it isn't true 100% of the time but that's the world I like to pretend we live in. 

The reason I loved this video SO much is because it suggests that you have the power to transcend those chimp drives to fit in, and choose for yourself. Did someone else post this and say the same thing? Sorry to be repetitive if so. 

 

[mandyjw]

13 minutes ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

It secretly is.

 

[Chumbimba]

@Leo Gura in your video on lying you really shit on those fake spiritual people and sluts who pretend they aren't sluts 

[Evil Raccoon]

1 hour ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

You see, on a conscious-level you are obviously green or higher ,since you can be so self-reflection/self-conscious. 
My point is, you are not the real deal for the girls. That's why you're far from being a casanova. If you really were a true unconscious chimp/badboy/prick, then you'd get more girls. 

You can be a mixture of different colors of the Spiral, I’ve never said I was 100% orange/asshole.But what I do believe is that I’m MOSTLY orange.

[Evil Raccoon]

@mandyjw Haha the famous chimp episode! 

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

it suggests that you have the power to transcend those chimp drives to fit in

A few highly exception people can transcend chimp drives.

But I'm not gonna bank on that when looking for a date.

Sexual attraction is not a conscious choice. It is foolish to go into a dating situation expecting that the person you're dealing with is some kind of Buddha/saint. It's must wiser to go into the situation understanding that you and they are both selfish animals. This doesn't preclude a loving relationship. It's actually enables it because it is being honest about the animal forces which arise in relationships.

The whole point of my chimp video was to get you to admit that you're a chimp. The problem is that people love to paint stories in their minds of how superior they are to chimps when they really aren't.

The entire domain of dating is basically chimps in a zoo. I like being honest and realistic about that, rather than dressing up these chimps with pope hats and pretending they are saints.

You are not going to change what makes a chimp want to fuck. Because the desire to fuck and the act of fucking is completely absurd and irrational to begin with. And relationships are equally absurd and irrational.

[icecoffee]

I'm a girl, so I'll give you my personal opinion.

I do, but only if I have a minimum of feelings for the guy; in the sense that we are close and comfortable with each other. For hookups no way, that's never happened and same for all my girlfriends.

It happens when some sort of relational connection is established between the two AND when the girl is into more than just regular boring sex. 

However, some women will never touch an asshole in their life just like some guys will never let theirs be touched.