I have been stuck in the house with my parents for almost 5 months now. Normally I would be in college and I had plans to study abroad but because of the pandemic I had to move back home. I have since worked through a lot of family trauma in therapy so the good thing is that I'm not super triggered around my parents anymore. That said, I know deep down that I am not happy nor fulfilled here.  It is rather draining to deal with them. I simply want to detach and move on. I tried to talk to my dad about this since he tends to be more understanding. I told him that I want to leave as soon as I become financially independent because even though I am not in pain, I simply don't like it here. He went on this whole thing on how I "don't have family values" how "blood is thicker than water" and how "there is no one like family because people outside of your family don't care about your best interests and will stop at nothing to screw you over."  I know a lot of this has to do with trauma and his upbringing, but the whole concept that you should do anything for your family and take whatever is dealt to you rubs me the wrong way. I started thinking this way in regards to cutting my family out even before the pandemic started. In January, I went with my family to the Taj Mahal. It was a beautiful place and I enjoyed taking in the experience but I felt miserable during most of the trip my mom was yelling at the service workers  and the rest of my family was going on rants about nationalism.  It taught me that I could be in one of the most beautiful places. I could literally be standing in front of one of the seven wonders of the world, but with the wrong people around me, I simply won't be able to take any of that beauty in. It was heart breaking. I feel so trapped in this circumstance with no place to go, not because of the pandemic but because of narratives of how "family is the only one who is going to love you" that are being fed to me.  As concerned as I am about the pandemic, I kinda can't wait to go back to college. I realized that I'd rather be alone during a pandemic than be with my family at paradise.  My life is beautiful and I want to appreciate it to the fullest extent.  I also grew up South Asian and I feel that this narrative of putting family first is so pushed on us and for a long time I thought that cutting off your family was simply a white people thing.  I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm just done. I love my family, I just don't want to have anything to do with them.