Should guy be the provider?

[Gesundheit]

10 minutes ago, datamonster said:

Might work for some people, but personally I can't just pretend to be jerk to get laid.

It feels too unnatural to me and that makes me unauthentic, which ends up backfiring.

Lol do whatever you want but I'm telling you what's best for your well-being, not necessarily what works 

Anyway it's not about being a jerk per se. It's about not caring for the other person at all. Just doing your own thing and following what you want like they don't exist in the first place. Women will tell you they want a good guy and bla bla bla. They're lying to themselves first and foremost. In bed they want a bad guy. That what turns most of them on. If you're just picking up and don't intend to have a ltr, focus more on acting selfishly with the "jerk" mindset. You'll win either way. If you succeed you get to have sex, and if you don't you know that you don't take it seriously 

6 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

detachment of outcome. 

= being a jerk

[electroBeam]

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

It's about Self-Love, wisdom, strong boundaries, self-confidence, and detachment of outcome. 

No its not those things.

Women want MASCULINE guys. Masculinity means dominance and assertion. Dominance and assertion is what's hot. 

None of my girlfriends find Sadhguru, Matt Khan, Adyshanti hot. They find George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Russel Brand hot. What does George Clooney got that Matt Khan hasn't? Dominance and assertion. Matt Khan has self love, but that does shit for attraction.

But of course, you're identified as a women, so understanding this is pretty much impossible for you.

[Gesundheit]

Just now, Etherial Cat said:

You've got both egoistical outcome detachment (being an uncaring jerk) and letting go (which is God like).

Which one would you say works most? Considering that most men/women are at Orange, not Green.

[Gesundheit]

10 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

Women want MASCULINE guys. Masculinity means dominance and assertion. Dominance and assertion is what's hot. 

None of my girlfriends find Sadhguru, Matt Khan, Adyshanti hot. They find George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Russel Brand hot. What does George Clooney got that Matt Khan hasn't? Dominance and assertion. Matt Khan has self love, but that does shit for attraction.

They would most likely secretly bang anyone with enough status tho. 

[electroBeam]

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Matt Khan isn't attractive to me because his feminine/masculin ratio doesn't match mine.

Wait you're into masculine guys? And a Self Love spiritual teacher is too feminine for you? That's insane! Never would have thought...

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

As per George Clooney, he isn't age appropriate for me and he's not my style. Johnny Depp is a shallow psychopath. Tom Cruise is an old nutbag who's part of a cult. And... Russel Brand is married with kids!

You've got any more of those great mating suggestions? 

Zak Efron

[electroBeam]

5 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

They would most likely secretly bang anyone with enough status tho. 

None of my girlfriends would bang Eckhart Tolle.

There's very clear evidence that to be an attractive man, masculinity is important. And masculinity is a bit jerkish by definition. Look at Peter Ralstone, Jed Mckenna and Osho, arguably deeply masculine teachers(compared to feminine teachers like Matt Khan) and each masculine teacher is a bit of an ass. 

[Gesundheit]

2 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I would say both have the same effect unless the girl is able to system think through it or has enough wisdom to detect the behavior as unsustainable.

At that point say goodbye to the intellect. The girl would be having some naughty fantasies lol and Yellow will not make any difference.

[diamondpenguin]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Hey, don't blame me. We tried being nice to hot girls, and they always reject it.

If being nice worked, I would get laid more than Hugh Hefner.

I had to go through 2 years of intense training just to teach myself not to be nice to girls.

The hotter the girl, the more sociopathic and narcissistic the guy must act to appeal to her.

I have experience and totally agree with this statement. Hot girls would rather turn down a kindhearted super sweet Christian white boy and get deep throated to the esophagus by a rich gangster rapper who treats her like a little dog. Everyone wants to be a rapper in gen z nowadays its nuts. Life is nuts. As a matter fact I made a rap album and put it out there and all of a sudden all of the girls who hated me started coming up and talking to me. Its completely nuts. Coming from being a meak self-conscious socially inept 17 nerdy kid that I was. And just making a few rap songs got me in the ballpark to talking to hot girls. And then I got with my first girlfriend and I would die for her, shes the best. So guys that are sort of awkward and cant really talk it up. Just learn some sort of musical skill, like singing, or rapping, or piano or whatever and girls will go nuts for you. Especially sociopathic crazy musicians like those rappers out there. I'm not really a sociopath ok though. It's just for fun. Like literally brothers Leo only says the truth. I tested it out for myself and it worked. Also with holotropic breathing it works. I may seem really cringy but dont judge me. I dont have good social skills. But rapping it works, it works, it gets women. I mean only if they like that music, most people of younger age do, due to it being the most popular party music and its sociopathic. This is just a suggestion to add to your skillset of attracting women. Then again people tell me all the time. "What the fuck do you know brian, your a 19 year old." Us teenagers really get a bad rap. you know I passed high school without failing a class, and got the shit beaten out of me as a kid and have lingering PTSD from my dad throwing beer bottles at my face and punching me. I've had a lot of hate in my life. So honestly if the girl doesnt like me. That's her problem. That's the mentality you gotta have. If she doesnt respect or like you. Dont be her little slave just cause shes hot. These young girls nowadays want a guy like those rich black dudes who got a big dick and aren't afraid to use it. Those guys who got a lot of status. Dont burn all your hard earned money on someone you dont know. That's my worst pet peeve is people asking for money and wanting to spend on them who dont even care about me. I work my ass off. You guys do too. And so do other loving people loving people like my girlfriend. Shes the best by the way. I buy her gifts every month. Life is insane and you just gotta watch actualized.org every weekend life gets better. 

[Farnaby]

Wow I see so much judgement and contradiction in this post. 

So a man who doesn't pay on the first date is weak and feminine but we want to overcome patriarchy? To me that kind of thinking just perpetuates the very thing feminism is fighting against. 

Why should a guy be invested in a first date? He often doesn't even know the girl, except from dating apps or whatever. 

If I already know the girl, like her and would like to have something more serious with her, I'm going to pay, no problem. But if we have never met in person and I'm just getting to know her? Then it will depend on the chemistry during the date. 

What I would consider "weak" is to always pay just in order to please her or out of fear of rejection. 

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, electroBeam said:

None of my girlfriends would bang Eckhart Tolle.

There's very clear evidence that to be an attractive man, masculinity is important. And masculinity is a bit jerkish by definition. Look at Peter Ralstone, Jed Mckenna and Osho, arguably deeply masculine teachers(compared to feminine teachers like Matt Khan) and each masculine teacher is a bit of an ass. 

Yeah that's why it's most likely not always. Hard luck for Tolle

[diamondpenguin]

1 minute ago, Etherial Cat said:

What's up bro? Why so bitter?

I don't think I ever mentioned not being into masculine guys.

And it's not because Kahn talks about Self-Love that it makes him feminine. His essence is really feminine by nature and doesn't match mine.

Except for the fact that he's been on high school musical and he's supposedly attractive, I'm not aware of any of his character traits. So yes, I am totally indifferent.

 

So it is a war. Everyone does have to prove they're better than everyone else. But I ask you why? Why do you have to prove than your more special than everyone else? Why? Just why is everyone like that? What's the point? I could just say. I'm better than you and you and you cause I have a better energy. But what would anyone gain? This world needs more LOVE!!!

[electroBeam]

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

What's up bro? Why so bitter?

Not bitter, that's just my expression.

I'm totally fine with how women work. And its a relief and a bit of a joy to not pretend that women want nice, self love guys when they don't. It always feels good when you align yourself with the truth. And its always great to shed off social conditioning. Women have been socially conditioned to want 'nice guys' because culture tells them to find them and keep away from bad guys. And spiritual women who watch lots of spiritual videos are indoctrinated into ranking how valuable and worthwhile a person is based on how conscious, pure and 'enlightene' they are. Yet this is all spiritual indoctrination and dogma. We're all one. And such value-ranking systems are a trap. To truly take this path seriously, you need to stop judging jerks and assholes and unconditionally love them and see jerkness as Love. The ranking system is a sneaky survival mechanism used to very convincingly prevent you from doing that and therefore enlighten.

I'm just excited and enthusiastic about shedding delusion. I love it. Its not bitterness. Its enthusiasm.

Feel free to disagree with everything I wrote. This is a personal insight of mine through pickup experience and lots of contemplation work.

 

EDIT

No you didn't mention you weren't into masculine guys, but another thing you're not conscious of yet is masculinity is essentially dominance, order and assertion/aggression. Masculinity essentially has a bit of jerkness in it. A fundamental element of masculinity is jerkness. You'd probably be incapable of becoming aware of this truth, because you probably judge and hate jerks(like most egos) it takes transcendence of ego to see that masculinity is essentially a bit of a jerk by itself. So if you're into masculine men, you're into men that are at the very least, a tad bit of a jerk. 

Edited August 4, 2020 by electroBeam

[Amit]

Had to be a provider, coming from a needy perception, in that case you've to find out what does she need that you can provide and make it a transaction, learn the art of negotiations... For ex.. If she looking for money, and you've it, that's a match, but if she doesn't need it and you're giving her, it won't work.. So simple

[Preety_India]

 

Pleasing someone is not weakness. Nor is it weak to provide for a woman. You do it because you support her and because you care for her. 

Also feminism does not mean that women become men and men become women.. That's toxic feminism. 

Men still remain men. But in order to show manhood you don't need to oppress a woman. Manhood sets a woman free..

In an unhealthy patriarchy, women are not free. 

In a healthy patriarchy, women feel free. 

In healthy feminism, men are allowed to be men 

In unhealthy feminism, men get emasculated. 

By providing for your wife, you are not enslaving her neither are you being enslaved. You shouldn't do it because you want to please her or out of fear of rejection or divorce. You do it because you want to support her, because you care for her and so you want to lessen her burden. She is also doing her role as a mother and wife. 

As a provider, you also get to show your manhood, in playing the protector role. 

 

[Gesundheit]

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Eckhart Tolle has an energy which is really directed towards beingness as opposed as doing.

The men I like are active. 

The list I made are criteria which aren't enough to define attraction. They are features within it, they do not induce it alone.

You haven't seen him in bed, nor the ones you believe are active. It's all imagination.

[Amit]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

You haven't seen him in bed, nor the ones you believe are active. It's all imagination.

Everything is imagination

5 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

The men I like are active.

I like active women

[Gesundheit]

9 minutes ago, Amit said:

Everything is imagination

The point is that reality might be the exact opposite. Tolle may be the best in bed, who knows? 

[Amit]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

The point is that reality might be the exact opposite. Tolle may be the best in bed, who knows? 

Even if he is good, he'll need someone good to bring out his best. Also other factors like mood and theatrics matters a lot

[electroBeam]

20 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Self-Love isn't being nice. I'm a bit disconcerted at everything you've been replying me so far because to be honest, it's clear we aren't talking about the same stuff.

Sure, we can agree to disagree.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

Johnny Depp is a shallow psychopath.

I thought he was a deep psychopath