6g psilocybe subaeruginosa trip report - ego death

[Rilles]

  On 8/2/2020 at 1:39 PM, tesla said:

What other trip killer do you recommend?

Google. 

[DrewNows]

“To learn to die is to be liberated from it” 

this clip has A LOT of goods

Edited August 2, 2020 by DrewNows

[DrewNows]

Think of the absurdity of your fear, laughing is the “way to go” 

 

[Nahm]

  On 8/2/2020 at 3:57 AM, tesla said:

Lemon tek on an empty stomach. I fasted all day (besides a few pieces of fruit ~5 hours before my trip). Usually this gets rid of all nausea, but maybe fasting for too long actually increases nausea (or it could've just been due to the higher dose)

That has everything to do with it imo. The lemon tek makes the digestion, come up & nausea more sudden & condensed, which steers toward the trip toward overwhelming. That combined with the expectation of “ego death” as an undesirable experience makes for a bummer trip.  Also with the lemon tek, you’re still eating the toxic flesh of the shroom (=nausea), just in powder form. I found boiling the active ingredient out (and pitching the flesh of the shroom) and making tea to be a game changer in terms of any nausea at all. In hindsight the nausea played a big role in what ‘direction’ the mood and thoughts, and therefore breakthroughs went. Best of luck with the next trip. Hope that’s helpful. 

Also, I totally agree with Leo. Can’t go in with a exit strategy. It shapes the whole experience. 

[cobalto]

You have acted quite cowardly but I think you are brave. You started a process that causes fear and doubts to anyone, and you backed off. well, life doesn't end with that. you have the right attitude and you will go all the way. Maybe another 6 g in a while

[tesla]

  On 8/2/2020 at 6:36 PM, Nahm said:

That has everything to do with it imo. The lemon tek makes the digestion, come up & nausea more sudden & condensed, which steers toward the trip toward overwhelming. That combined with the expectation of “ego death” as an undesirable experience makes for a bummer trip.  Also with the lemon tek, you’re still eating the toxic flesh of the shroom (=nausea), just in powder form. I found boiling the active ingredient out (and pitching the flesh of the shroom) and making tea to be a game changer in terms of any nausea at all. In hindsight the nausea played a big role in what ‘direction’ the mood and thoughts, and therefore breakthroughs went. Best of luck with the next trip. Hope that’s helpful. 

Also, I totally agree with Leo. Can’t go in with a exit strategy. It shapes the whole experience. 

Shrooms aren't toxic. Your body just has trouble digesting it, IIRC it's because it thinks psilocybin is poison

I've done tea before many times, but I prefer lemon tek

  On 8/2/2020 at 9:44 PM, cobalto said:

You have acted quite cowardly but I think you are brave. You started a process that causes fear and doubts to anyone, and you backed off. well, life doesn't end with that. you have the right attitude and you will go all the way. Maybe another 6 g in a while

Not at all. I think the comments here are somewhat irresponsible, tbh. You should always have an emergency back up plan. Not just in case of a terror trip, but also an emergency. E.g what if there's a fire in your home? You need something that can quickly end your trip. Not to mention psychedelics do have real risks, people do get psychosis, PTSD, and other serious disorders from a terrifying experience. There's a massive difference between a challenging experience and a nightmare.

[tesla]

Next time I want to see if I can push through the experience. But I'm also very cautious and don't want to become psychologically scarred

Perhaps with even more meditation, it'd be smooth. I was able to sort of let go because of my meditation abilities, but not completely. I'm a pretty advanced meditator (about stage 5 on The Mind Illuminated). Maybe with more training I'd be able to handle such an intense situation

I want to have this experience, but at the same time I also want to take it easy so I don't go insane lol

Edited August 3, 2020 by tesla

[Shmurda]

@tesla I say scrap the lemon tek and reduce the dose by a gram. Terence McKenna used to swear by 5g so that should be enough. 

Also, meditation will certainly help insofar as entering a tranquil state but the samadhi will be forced by the drug so no effort needs to be made in terms of focus and concentration. 

[tesla]

  On 8/3/2020 at 3:12 AM, Shmurda said:

@tesla I say scrap the lemon tek and reduce the dose by a gram. Terence McKenna used to swear by 5g so that should be enough. 

Also, meditation will certainly help insofar as entering a tranquil state but the samadhi will be forced by the drug so no effort needs to be made in terms of focus and concentration. 

These are psilocybe subaeruginosa, which is the 3rd most potent species on average. And apparently the most potent specimens of this species are actually the most potent. The ones I have are ridiculously potent. So 5g of this is a lot more than 5g of cubes (what Terence recommends). Also note Terence said 5g is where it really starts (it's not the final dose). No one knows what the limit is, there's reports of people taking even 30g or more.

I've had many trips in the 3-5g range before. I'm deliberately doing higher doses because I've already explored lower doses a lot

[Shmurda]

@tesla have you had the God realisation yet? I.e where you realise that the "I am" of experience is God and that's what you are. Also comes with the feeling of being the only being in existence. 

[tesla]

  On 8/3/2020 at 6:24 AM, Shmurda said:

@tesla have you had the God realisation yet? I.e where you realise that the "I am" of experience is God and that's what you are. Also comes with the feeling of being the only being in existence. 

Yeah definitely. I had that on even 3-3.5g. The higher the dose, the stronger non-duality has felt though

[Shmurda]

@tesla and so what are you expecting you will achieve from a really strong dose? 

[allislove]

@tesla

I hope the next time you could fully let go.

Personally, I've never had a desire to explore high doses of long-lasting substances. 
I've done a regular acid/shrooms dosage and switched to 5-MeO. 
It's so easy to have a breakthrough with 5-MeO.

?

[tesla]

  On 8/3/2020 at 6:59 AM, Shmurda said:

@tesla and so what are you expecting you will achieve from a really strong dose? 

I've been studying what conditions create the best results from psychedelics. It seems like ego death is a big key, that's when people have breakthroughs in personal development. I know someone personally who has done around the same dose as me, he said it completely wiped his personality and he became a new person. I've done lower doses many times and it's helped me a lot, but I want to get the most out of it. Plus I just want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes, it's fascinating as fuck

  On 8/3/2020 at 8:32 AM, allislove said:

@tesla

I hope the next time you could fully let go.

Personally, I've never had a desire to explore high doses of long-lasting substances. 
I've done a regular acid/shrooms dosage and switched to 5-MeO. 
It's so easy to have a breakthrough with 5-MeO.

?

I want to do 5-MeO one day. Lately though I've only really felt like doing mushrooms. I love shrooms too much lol