Becoming Extrovert - Pls Give Me Some Content To Put To Practice Soon :)

[Kimasxi]

Hi,

So I am going on vacation on Saturday and I am going to work on my social skills. I already challenged my being introverted, yet I just lack social skills and I am stumbling through the process from time to time. I have a week to spend on intensive working on my social skills and I would like to learn how to make people laugh. Sometimes I do it naturally but often I am just not in the mood to be able to force any joke and make the atmosphere suitable for fun. Please give me some YouTube links to videos I can watch before Saturday to learn some theory on what to do. Thanks

[Sir Raz]

Amm.....firstly, 'extroverted' and 'introverted' are just labels that divide. You are both exroverted and introverted. They are 2 opposite poles of one spectrum; they are 2 sides of the same coin.?

Secondly, if you lack social skills , my suggestion to you is, when you want to meet new people, salute them & tell them the purpose of the conversation. For example 'I want to know the best places where I can have fun. Could you help me?' or 'I'm looking for new friends. What's up?' Then, introduce yourself & get to know each other.

Thirdly, to make people laugh, just be spontaneous & authentic. It may seem that you have to make an effort to be like that when I'm telling you 'Be spontaneous!' but you don't have to do anything. It doesn't require any effort.?

Theory? Intensive working? Hope you're not thinking too much about it. You don't need theory, maybe learn a few good jokes. It's more a 'go with the flow' thing. 

Make sure that 'intensive working' equals having fun with as many people as possible. Do not expect anything. If it didn't work like you wanted, try again....do not blame yourself. It's of no use. ?

Hope it helps!!!?

[Eelco1981]

@Kimasxi Try the videos on Actualized.org > All videos > Confidence

I suggest titles like: Self Confidence, How to Be Yourself, How to be more confident, and How to overcome Shyness. Or look for the video "how to be Funny".

Remember that a lot of people are as shy as you and are really nice when you talk to them. They might have a unfriendly face, but just start a conversation and people will open up. People enjoy conversations. If they are rude to you, that is their problem and says nothing about you.

Start a conversation on a superficial level: wheather, music, gas prices. Then you can go deeper along the way. Do not start a conversation with a stranger: "what do you think about enlightenment or lucid dreaming?" Success!

[Christian]

@Kimasxi

In the video called awareness alone is curative - how to stop unwanted behaviours, Leo says that awareness alone is curative. What this means is that awareness of an unwanted behaviour can stop you from doing it. 

So develop your awareness. Start with a 20 minute daily meditation habit to do that and apply constant awareness when you are shy.

 If you do these things, you will stop being shy eventually and over time find yourself more extroverted in social situations... 

Good luck  

 

[Kimasxi]

On 6.08.2016 at 7:35 PM, Eelco1981 said:

Start a conversation on a superficial level: wheather, music, gas prices. Then you can go deeper along the way. Do not start a conversation with a stranger: "what do you think about enlightenment or lucid dreaming?" Success!

Actually, I disagree with your "don't".
People smalltalk because they are afraid to speak, but it's the last thing they want to talk about. 
I believe being afraid is wrong and social courage is something we should excercise as much as possible.
I believe people would be grateful if I saved them from smalltalk and spoke about something more interesting. And if they react negatively? Still a good excersize on rejection and being fine with that.
 

[Eelco1981]

@Kimasxi Whatever works for you. I am just telling you what works for me. I do not start to talk about the weather with someone in order to discuss the complete meteorological history of the past month. I use it to test if someone wants to have a conversation. The more you practice that, the better you feel the other person and you will learn when to go to deeper topics. In my experience, people open up slowly, starting about the weather, than their work, and after that the problems in their lives. If you think that the majority of the people on the street will be happy to start the conversation with questions about enlightenment and lucid dreaming, then I encourage you to test it as much as you can. I might change my point of view. I might even move to the place you live. 

On the other hand, sometimes I also want to skip small talk, and make a joke instead. Or start open up myself to see if the other person want to open up their book a little also.