Is online dating even worth it?

[Michal__]

On 7/28/2020 at 3:18 AM, GroovyGuru said:

I posted something on here several weeks ago about how I can't get chicks even though I'm fairly interesting, intelligent, and have a great physique. I'm about 5'11 and 175 pounds. Anyways, Leo and others had some advice about just going out very often and talking to girls. So me and 4 of my friends literally went to the hottest place in my city. 2 very hot girls walked up to us but each went to my 2 really handsome friends and I just kinda sat there with my other buddies and drank more tequila than I can remember haha. But the girls in this place were all seriously 10s, so it was kind of intimidating to be honest and I didn't talk to any because we just sat at the bar.

 

I decided the next day to download 3 dating apps and give that a go. 2 days in and I didn't get shit, but I've been constantly experimenting, playing with my bio and so on. On the 3rd day, I actually spent hours that day wearing different outfits and taking some really good pictures of myself. I took 3 good ones, and I used another 2 with friends so it looks like I'm social. Today is the 5th day and I've literally had like 1 match. Another girl "invited me to chat" but both completely stopped responding suuuper quickly. And I wasn't being boring or anything, despite my inexperience with girls I'm actually super confident about my texting ability and I'm able to be kinda cute and funny over text. Today, I literally ran out of girls to swipe on Tinder in my city .... and I live in a big city so I actually found that kind of funny. I mean it's whatever, I'm not beating myself up over it but I definitely thought that between 3 dating apps and some good pics of myself I'd have over 1 match lol. Is this shit even worth it if you don't look like a model? It's been only 5 days, but I've been pretty active. 

I'm new to this so I don't know if I should give it more time or just forget about it. Like I said I'm really not bothered, I actually find it funny that I've only had 1 match. Anyway, thanks for reading...

Online dating works if you are handsome or muscular with decent face and professional photos.

If you get good with women irl you can get away even with being ugly.

Edited November 26, 2020 by Michal__

[flowboy]

So you got the advice to go out a lot, like months of practice multiple times a week... and what did you do with that advice? 

You went out once and didn't even try that time.

Face it, you're just being a lazy bitch and need to do the tough work.

Your dating profile doesn't work because you are clueless about attraction. You need practice my friend.

[flowboy]

I did not fail, I just found 10.000 ways that do not work

- Thomas Edison

See, Marie Curie and Edison did not give up easy (or at all), and that is what made them provide value to society and invent things that benefited everyone immensely.

This is why it makes sense, and actually a good thing, that sex is only given to those why don't quit in life. Girls are not attracted to quitters, that's why they test you, and thank God because we'd all be still living in the stone age, or more likely extinct if that weren't the case. 

So if you only try a couple times and then quit, you don't deserve sex and that's fair.

[Igor82]

Mister. One of the biggest insights for me when it comes to making my day game (hooking girls) much more fun is to just hang out with them. 

So, having the intention to get laid, and to give off that vibe actually limits you unless you can hide it. Best thing is to solve it so much as possible external of getting laid: sexual energy transmutation, nofap, good social life, exercise, goals, etc.

It seems to be very attractive for women to have a man talk to her, giving off a vibe to her that he doesn't need her, he wants to see if he wants her, and he is chill, content, and opposite to desperate. Many men on tinder give of the vibe of being desperate. It repels many women. I don't think that quality women would spend time watching their phones and swiping through pictures of desperate men.

I don't think you would prefer swiping through images of women while sitting home at your couch, over, being out there and approaching the hottest girls on the street; just having fun, just relaxing and chatting with some hotties. You even got the sun shining there! Cmon, get out there!

 

[blackchair]

grindr sucks big time

[ertopolice]

12 minutes ago, GroovyGuru said:

You aren't wrong my friend. I just have many limiting beliefs when it comes to dating and attracting women that I need to work through. 

My biggest issue is dealing with the fact that I'm very inexperienced and feel that it will obviously show at one point or another and the girl I'm talking to will just find me unattractive.

I know that's just an excuse though. I'm just being a coward and I'm well aware of it. It boils down to me feeling unworthy because I haven't gotten much attention from girls throughout high school and university so deep down I find no reason that they suddenly should have a change of heart. But also, I know that part of the reason I've never gotten any attention is because of my limiting beliefs and lack of effort 

it's a stupid vicious cycle. Ahhh, I would love to have this area of life sorted out already. 

I wish we could go out an approach 1000x times or interact ppl face to face. Female here. 

I am way too lazy to show off a decent online profile. I 'd definitely list the requirements i ask for in a male and also which i am to offer...that's all

I still don't get the point of trusting a profile by it's manipulated pictures or copied quotes. Boring stuff!!!

Btw my IG profile is way too intelectual for 99.9% of my followers. My aim is to socialize via IG and get to know all sort of ppl from different backgrounds. Being so into these personal growth stuff journey I still questions how is it that i still got followers that "have not already been scared of my content..or bored"

My mantra is that the person or persons to engage with me should feel some curiosity of support this stuff so i skip showing a more random or average fit-hottie-insta girl struggle. 

You see...we all got excuses!

 

[Axiomatic]

yall should watch this as an example. stop treating these interactions like you're playing a damn nfl football game or some shit trying to get a winning record. These dudes don't give a fuck and are HAVING FUN WITH IT. 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Axiomatic

[Kundalini Cataclysm]

In my experience, yes, it does work. But it can take some time and persistence. I've used okcupid for quite some time, I really dig that there are many options regarding how deep you want to go/what you're looking for.

Pretty fast after starting to use their services, I got a date and got laid that same night. After this, I did not have any luck for quite a while. A few dates happend, but nothing too interesting.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I got a match that seemed pretty promising right from the start. Long story short, we've been going out for about 3 weeks now and I truly feel like I have met one of the most amazing women I've ever come across. The amount of things we share is just awesome. I thought about deleting my okc account a few times since it didn't really yield many promising results (plus I generally prefer to meet people face to face for the first time), but boy am I glad I didn't.

Maybe this story is helpful, of course everyone's individual experience can vary greatly.

Edited December 10, 2020 by Kundalini Cataclysm

[Blackhawk]

On 2020-07-28 at 3:18 AM, GroovyGuru said:

I posted something on here several weeks ago about how I can't get chicks even though I'm fairly interesting, intelligent, and have a great physique. I'm about 5'11 and 175 pounds. Anyways, Leo and others had some advice about just going out very often and talking to girls. So me and 4 of my friends literally went to the hottest place in my city. 2 very hot girls walked up to us but each went to my 2 really handsome friends and I just kinda sat there with my other buddies and drank more tequila than I can remember haha. But the girls in this place were all seriously 10s, so it was kind of intimidating to be honest and I didn't talk to any because we just sat at the bar.

 

I decided the next day to download 3 dating apps and give that a go. 2 days in and I didn't get shit, but I've been constantly experimenting, playing with my bio and so on. On the 3rd day, I actually spent hours that day wearing different outfits and taking some really good pictures of myself. I took 3 good ones, and I used another 2 with friends so it looks like I'm social. Today is the 5th day and I've literally had like 1 match. Another girl "invited me to chat" but both completely stopped responding suuuper quickly. And I wasn't being boring or anything, despite my inexperience with girls I'm actually super confident about my texting ability and I'm able to be kinda cute and funny over text. Today, I literally ran out of girls to swipe on Tinder in my city .... and I live in a big city so I actually found that kind of funny. I mean it's whatever, I'm not beating myself up over it but I definitely thought that between 3 dating apps and some good pics of myself I'd have over 1 match lol. Is this shit even worth it if you don't look like a model? It's been only 5 days, but I've been pretty active. 

I'm new to this so I don't know if I should give it more time or just forget about it. Like I said I'm really not bothered, I actually find it funny that I've only had 1 match. Anyway, thanks for reading...

I have the same problem. Almost all guys have the same problem, except the top few % of guys.

No online dating isn't worth it imo. I have gave up. Online dating works only if you are a girl or a top 2% guy.

[Chives99]

Data shows that online dating is a disaster has 70% of users are chasing after the top 20%, thats the problem with being presented with countless beautiful people and u get suggested what u like to keep using the app. Swiping culture also has disastrous consequences for peoples self esteem constant rejection leads to unworthiness. Online dating only works if your  very attractive 

[Arcangelo]

6 hours ago, Chives99 said:

constant rejection leads to

not give a fuck about it ness

[Lyubov]

10 hours ago, Chives99 said:

Data shows that online dating is a disaster has 70% of users are chasing after the top 20%, thats the problem with being presented with countless beautiful people and u get suggested what u like to keep using the app. Swiping culture also has disastrous consequences for peoples self esteem constant rejection leads to unworthiness. Online dating only works if your  very attractive 

I'm hesitant of that 70% to 20% data. I've seen it mainly circulated around red pill communities. Also I've also heard speculation that Tinder actually has far less active female users vs male users. That will make it much more problematic for men. The final thing that I think makes online dating difficult for most men is that these apps are set up specifically for monetization purposes and they are surely used more by men. This means you have to shell out cash to get matches. I remember the Tinder free experience used to yield quite a few matches. Now it it barely gives any after setting up an account and you are required to regularly buy perks to get a more normal experience with the app. The only way to get a decent flow of matches with the possibility of one leading to a meeting in person requires spending regularly on the app for just about every man on it. Even top guys with good photos that used to get a ton of matches are saying they aren't getting many without paying (read this as well). 

[heatnikki]

Many of my friends met their partners online. I like online dating too

[Michael569]

attracting too many bots, closing down. 

@GroovyGuru hit me up if you'd wish to have this reopened