How much do looks matter

[ColeMC01]

I have seen Leo videos on attraction and i noticed that he says that looks are completly irrelevant when it comes to attracting girls. So are you saying that if a girl finds you 2/10 you can still attract her? If yes, what level of game do you need? Do you need godly game or just 1000 approach level of game (if you starting from meh level). I do agree that if a girl thinks you are okay looking then you can get her with game. But what if she finds you legit ugly, what about then? What if you are not her type? Also Leo claims that looks offer no reproductive value on evolutionary terms but i think that is just incorrect. A muscular man with wide shoulders is much stronger, he can protect and defend a lot better against threats. Saying physical strenght was not needed in the past is just delusion and normally muscular people are stronger. I would like to know everyone thoughts including you Leo if you see this. I love your videos btw and i wish you all the best.

[Arcangelo]

I am a good looking guy. Every good looking guy will tell you: -''Looks are irrelevant bro.''

[Leo Gura]

Even if you are the hottest hunk on the planet, not every girl will like you and you will not be able to attract every girl.

You should aim for maybe 1/3rd of girls liking you. The rest you ignore.

Of course girls have different types. If you're not her type then you won't be able to attract her.

The way you solve this problem is by talking to 5,000 women.

[Roy]

Just some general rules of thumb to keep in mind, they are pretty truthful but don't take them as absolutes or turn it into an ideology @ColeMC01.

Men are far more visual. Within 15 seconds almost every guy knows if they'd have sex with a girl or not, aka "basic attraction". If it's a yes they probably won't change their mind about pursuing her unless she turns out to have a hideous personality (total bitch).

However while women can be visual and most screen for looks on a surface level, if an "ugly" or "not quite average" looking guy gets the chance to really sit down and talk to them (makes her laugh, gives her the feeling of safety, and the emotional space to express herself), she will be willing to look past the bad looks and change her mind about having sex or building a relationship.

Women are looking to have their emotions stoked like a fire. If you show her you have the potential to turn that small spark into a raging inferno, that's ALL she will care about. Almost nothing else will matter.

In a way men are actually quite shallow compared to women. It's not uncommon to see a stunning babe with a neanderthal looking man that has his beer gut popping out his shirt. While the opposite is actually very rare. I can't remember the last time I saw a 9/10 man with a 5/10 woman, I don't think I've EVER seen it hahah.

So yes you can get by being a below average looking guy, you just gotta make sure you frame your initial interactions in a way where she can't just ignore you or bail too easily.

Edited July 27, 2020 by Roy

[Timur]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The way you solve this problem is by talking to 5,000 women

I never understood this arguement.

How can a guy who approached 5000 girls and slept with lets say a hundred ( 2 per cent success rate is by the way a realistic overall ratio in cold approaching ) claim to be successful with women? We do not even know whether a significiant majority of those girls you dated were attractive and/or cool.

99 per cent of guys being in relationships got their girlfriends without " hitting the streets " and wasting hundreds of hours for cold appraoching.

[iceprincess]

I think it completely depends on your game, if you're confident, charismatic, funny etc and if you approach enough girls you can get some really hot chicks. my first boyfriend was reallllyyyy overweight, most girls would rate him below a 5 but  this guy got legit the hottest girls ever after me. I'm talking Victoria secret blonde bombshells, the guys at school didn't understand why. but it was because he was extremely funny, extremely charming, intelligent  and sociable and he hit on pretty much every girl he could find. this guy didn't have money or status or anything. so for guys, don't worry too much about your looks 

I'm wondering how much it matters for girls though. I thought it was pretty much the only thing that mattered after I saw Leo's video on how to get a guy to fall in love with you but the opposite thing happened to me. last year I was super overweight. my waist was 38 inches and I'm 4'11 lol. but last  year this really hot body builder was pining for me so hard I couldn't understand it. I was a 4 compared to his previous girlfriends so idk why he was catching feelings for me so hard. anyways we didn't end up together cause I couldn't;t be naked around a guy with 10% body fat and he already wasted 2 months blowing up my phone. so idk what it was I was doing but maybe the same thing also applies to women?? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Timur said:

How can a guy who approached 5000 girls and slept with lets say a hundred ( 2 per cent success rate is by the way a realistic overall ratio in cold approaching ) claim to be successful with women?

You will sleep with far less than 2%.

0.1% or 0.01% or 0.001% is more realistic for a newbie.

Quote

We do not even know whether a significiant majority of those girls you dated were attractive and/or cool.

Lol

That's not my problem.

[Enlightenment]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The way you solve this problem is by talking to 5,000 women

you’ll run out of girls rather quick in your town/city. The reason coaches get away with it is they travel all the time.

This is what’s wrong with “numbers game” unless you live in a huge city

[Leo Gura]

The #1 problem you guys have is you make way too many excuses for staying mediocre.

Why do *I* care more about *your* success than you do?

Think about it.

[Timur]

10 minutes ago, Enlightenment said:

you’ll run out of girls rather quick in your town/city. The reason coaches get away with it is they travel all the time.

This is what’s wrong with “numbers game” unless you live in a huge city

 

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The #1 problem you guys have is you make way too many excuses for staying mediocre.

Why do *I* care more about *your* success than you do?

Think about it.

Enlightement is right with his statement.

 

Just imagine you are a lawyer and live in a city with a population of 200 000.

Are you really advising this lawyer, a person who is doing a well respected job and has a lot of responsibility in his life and needs to maintain a professional image, to cold appraoch 3000 thousand girls in this city?

 

Cold approaching is less harmful for a college student scenerio. Guy goes to a bigger city for couple of years to study and while trying to succeed academically, he also approaches some girls everyday in order to learn how to flirt.

 

But even then this kid will feel stupid, because this kid is approaching hundreds of girls for getting a cool girlfriend whereas others just have girlfriends without ever doing this time wasting habit.

 

[Leo Gura]

@Timur Re-read what I wrote just above.

[electroBeam]

@Timur you know for my startup company, I cold called 500 000 clients are living in my city? Ive got spreadsheets and voice calls to prove it. Our startup makes a million dollars a year. 

[Farnaby]

I personally never liked the idea of cold-approaching. Some of it is certainly insecurity/fear, but another part of it is that it just doesn't resonate with me. 

I think you can find a balance between cold approaching thousands of women and staying at home without talking with women at all. 

Work on your confidence, find a hobby or carreer you like where you can meet new people and let it happen naturally. But be careful not to fall into the trap of not taking action because you want it to happen naturally. That can be used as an excuse to rationalize your insecurities, I know that from personal experience lol. 

You certainly have to experiment with flirting to develop your style and see what works for you, but IME you don't need to cold approach random girls on the street. 

[Hello from Russia]

@Farnaby

It's not that you can't get laid without cold approach

It is just cold approach is one of the most effective methods to get better with woman, build yourself up as a man and, yes, meet some girls.

It's like cold messaging/cold calling in business. If you learn this skill, you'd be a much more powerful entrepreneur/marketer than if you've never done it. You'd get so much understanding on how sales ACTUALLY work, it will be comparable to people who get their customer just by advertising and branding techniques (Facebook ads and so forth).

It's just about going to the direct source and going for the most direct and efficient method to improve yourself. Yes, it takes courage and it is emotionally difficult. But it is also so fucking rewarding when you do that. Both in business and in dating. That is something to think about

[StarStruck]

If you are an average guy, your best weapon is an authentic smile and happiness.

For girls looks are less important. They look at your genetic healthiness (which your looks give away) and your attitude.

Edited July 27, 2020 by StarStruck

[Recursoinominado]

Good looks give you a better first impression, when the woman doesn't know anything about you, she has to make an assessment by your looks, style, body language and tonality.

You can be beautiful all you want, if your inner game sucks, you are fucked.

Trust me, I know from experience.

I am usually considered 7-9/10 in looks (because i am short). Not gonna lie, i have lots of girls giving themselves to me easily (all i had to do is NOT fuck up, which isn't that hard), but very rarely the ones you would really want.

The quality ones don't care that much about looks because it is common for them to meet hot guys, but it isn't common to me alpha, confident, smooth, grounded guys. I always had a major problem with beautiful girls, my sense of entitlement is fucked and this is clear to them when they met me. 

[Jacob Morres]

9 hours ago, Timur said:

99 per cent of guys being in relationships got their girlfriends without " hitting the streets " and wasting hundreds of hours for cold appraoching.

Are those 99% of guys (honestly) dating and attracting their dream girl? 

If so, then I will take their advice 

[ColeMC01]

@Leo Gura What do you think about social circle game? Meaning if you already know people, to tell a friend you have that " i find x friends of yours cute" and then she can notify her that x guy is interested and if she also is then you can start talking/dating? I am not saying to make friends for this purpose but rather asking the ones you already have for this. I personally feel this is more natural and convince than cold approaching on the street because i do not like night clubs that much and its hard to find decent girls on bars ( mostly older people) where i live.

[hoodrow trillson]

I'm going to be honest here:

In this reality we're all living in?  It matters A LOT.  Can you stomach this truth?

This forum won't address that giant elephant in the room and that's okay--since it's generally out of your control essentially (genetics) and it's much easier to beat yourself up and keep running on that 'cold approach' hamster wheel 5,000 times.  People who refute this truth will point at anecdotal evidence of some fat, bald, short, broke, [insert deficiency here] guy dating a hot girl and go 'SEE!!!  THE PROBLEM IS YOU!!' which is counterintuitive and brings much suffering to that person.  What if that 5,000 cold approaches gets you no where but dead ends?  

Saying "looks matter less for women" is such a damn lie and completely underestimates the desire of women wanting a nice handsome, good looking, tall guy of their dreams.  It's the same like us wanting a hot woman.  

This truth is overlooked since it's so obvious but we are conditioned to ignore it and notice the things we CAN change.  

[ColeMC01]

@Roy A lot of them put these retarded mental blocks in their head due to society conditioning that if i do not find the guy handsome then i will not bother dealing with him even if technically you might not be legit ugly in their eyes. This often happens for the good looking girls since they have so much choice. I do agree that charm and charisma may work but only if the girl is willing to let you be you, not doing the oh he is not good looking so i wont bother talking to him. It is the equivalent of a religious person being invited to do a religious debate, he will simply not even bother going.