Beam

Negative People Get Me Down Instantly

9 posts in this topic

Hello actualized.org
 

 I'm overly sensitive to negative people speaking , will leave a crowd if one person is on a rant not out of fear out of frustration with hearing them.

I first noticed my lack of tolerance when I stopped drinking some 10 years ago , since then all negative people drive me up the wall.

Been thinking this behavior was started as a safety mechanism to keep me sober and positive.

I can't read a negative post either as it seems to bring me down and fast.

Does anyone have any tips I can use to think more evenly with negative people I would surely appreciate it. 

 

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Ask yourself why you view these circumstances/people negatively. Is it because their views don't line up with your views? Is it because you don't like seeing them as the center of attention? What defines a "negative post" for you? And so on. You don't need to answer any of these questions here, just question yourself and look for honest answers. That being said, it may be fine to just remove those people from your life for awhile as well. 

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I don't actually have anyone in my life who is negative Its the people mostly strangers that are encounter in everyday life.

like a disgruntled shopper or a pissed off person raising his or her voice.

I have gotten myself out those situations for 10 years now by simple walking away.

My issue is I'm overly sensitive to it

Edited by Beam

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@Beam I think this is quite common for self-actualizing people. Someone with a positive attitude will attract positive people. And positive and negative won't match.

There is probably a belief that people shouldn't be negative? Or maybe a fear of them making you start drinking again?

If you even have a hard time reading negative posts I'd probably start there. Read a negative post a see what happens in the body. Just take it slow. No need to engulf yourself in negativity.

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@Beam , see if this post would help you? 

 


Ayla,

www.aylabyingrid.com

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Thanks Ayla , I read your post ,  was not at peace within myself in the past and knew what anger and frustration could or would do to me

Thank you too for the tip WelcometoReali... I am going to try reading a hard post threw to the end and deal with my emotions more so try to be objective.

I am having a strong feeling that this issue can be dealt with using simple exposure and relaxations techniques. So i don't get pissed off at this people.. sounds funny I know but that's where I'm coming from..
 

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What are the chances that you might work on detaching a little and viewing people's negative, self-centered, angry crap as entertainment, not anything that is likely to affect you in reality, or deter you from carrying on with your awesome day after the show is over.

Yeah, detachment like that takes a little practice, but there's not much that's funnier than watching adults throw tantrums or wallow themselves into a big ol' pool of victim goo.

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@FirstglimpseOMG  I like your angle as a bonus its live and let live , which is what i want to learn to do.
 

In the last few weeks I have raised my voice at 2 friends as well as 2 family members who were being negative.  The problem is the poor fuckers did not know they were being negative. Instead were just damaged humans , an easy mark.

Somehow my inner negativity was given new wings by them and came out with much more force then what had ignited it.


I have to do something besides trying as I was being a douche' and knew I must correct it or be held back by forever. For starters I wrote sent apologies letters to let them know I was wrong and sorry for dumping on them , that I was working hard to correct myself to learn to treat others with  consideration and kindness.
It was a exercise in humility bravery and kindness for the relief I gave those i had negatively effected. It was VERY humbling and I gained some respect back.
Apologizing is a powerful tool  , I feel like I'm more aware of the problem then ever , for me awareness is half the battle.

For the other half

I will try looking at the humor or irony of what is being said  instead of putting the cackles up..

I will beat this !

Edited by Beam

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The reason for your suffering is simple, you are resisting. YOU can't tolerate = You're not accepting that moment. Your egoic mind dominates over your life through imposing its beliefs on reality. Other people and external circumstances don't go 100% your way, nor can you make them do so. Why can't you tolerate tolerate "Negative" people, because "You" are resisting. What if you accepted whatever happens or that "Negative" guy that always seems to get on your nerves, would you walk away? Happiness is complete acceptance of what is, is it not? If you only accept certain moments in life and resist others, then life will always be a roller coaster ride. Be aware of your resistance, think how much suffering is caused by this resistance, and surrender to whatever happens. 

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