Is watching porn cheating?

[Bodhidharma]

I know porn has been discussed a lot in the forum but I didn't find nothing on regards to this. My girlfriend and I got on a big fight for this and I'm questioning my values here. I personally don't think it is, it's only natural to have sexual desire but if you think about it, it gets tricky. If you took your dick out in front of a woman trying to seduce you and masturbated to her it definitly seems like cheating. What you guys think about it?

[Rilles]

yes, how dare u! 

[Bodhidharma]

my inability to identify such perfect sarcasm is making me frustated right now

[Bodhidharma]

59 minutes ago, Bodhidharma said:

If you took your dick out in front of a woman trying to seduce you and masturbated to her it definitly seems like cheating.

you know that this is a metaphor right? lol I didn't do that

[Rilles]

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for. thee that one of thy members should perish, and. not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

 

 

Pray. So you may find forgiveness.

[Username]

I think there are degrees of cheating. It is like involving third party into relationship without permission and you are outsourcing her competences. The other thing: do you think it helps the relationship in some way?

As I said, there are degrees..

[Leo Gura]

@Bodhidharma If your girlfriend expects her boyfriend to never jerk off to porn, she's in for a rude awakening. Haha!

Guys gonna jerk off. It's what we do. It ain't cheating.

Jerking off is what keeps you from cheating on her. Guys crave far more sexual variety than women and we are horny much more often overall. She's never gonna meet all your sexual needs nor should she want that as it would be a full-time job.

She needs to come to peace with this and be happy that you're willing to be loyal to her in the first place. Most guys won't be.

[Seed]

No. That’s ridiculous.... I know many girls including myself that also jerk off to porn. It’s just a weird human weakness... 

[Bodhidharma]

14 minutes ago, Rilles said:

 

23 minutes ago, Rilles said:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for. thee that one of thy members should perish, and. not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

 

I actually thought about this saying.

14 minutes ago, Username said:

I think there are degrees of cheating. It is like involving third party into relationship without permission and you are outsourcing her competences. The other thing: do you think it helps the relationship in some way?

As I said, there are degrees..

as I can see right now, no . But for me it's just a way to release sexual energy bro, I dont view it as right or wrong

[Roy]

It can viewed as cheating if your partner perceives it that way, yes. However it's not that entirely simple, they could just be acting unreasonably jealous for something actually harmless that doesn't involved an interaction with another person.

For me and my partner example; I have a higher sex drive than her. So since I'm more available for sex and I can't just force her to have it when I'm horny, I need to find another outlet. Obviously I'm not going to go have sex with other people so my only choice is to masturbate. She knows I'm using either pictures of her, or pornography of other women. We've talked about this early in the relationship and are ok with it. If I don't feel like having sex one day I have no problem with her masturbating either.

It doesn't count as cheating because there is no human interaction or emotional involvement with any of the images or videos on the screen. They are simply pixels.

1 hour ago, Bodhidharma said:

If you took your dick out in front of a woman trying to seduce you and masturbated to her it definitly seems like cheating. What you guys think about it?

When you say this are you talking about a live interaction with another women?????? Because yes that's obviously cheating.

Jerking off to a recording of a porn star talking seductively to a general audience in front of a camera isn't cheating. They aren't specifically talking to YOU so it's not an interpersonal relationship; therefore not cheating.

Also I'd like to add it could be a very mild form of cheating if you reject sex from your partner in favor of secretly masturbating instead. A healthy sexual relationship means there is complete transparency and nobody is hiding anything.

You need to have this conversation with her and she needs to understand if your sexual drives don't align you need to give each other permission for solo-sex.

 

[Leo Gura]

13 minutes ago, Roy said:

if your sexual drives don't align you need to give each other permission for solo-sex.

The logistics of sex cannot ever be completely aligned. People are available at different times and in different moods.

[Roy]

27 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The logistics of sex cannot ever be completely aligned. People are available at different times and in different moods.

Unfortunately that doesn't stop people from having selfish expectations.

[AtheisticNonduality]

2 hours ago, Bodhidharma said:

I know porn has been discussed a lot in the forum but I didn't find nothing on regards to this. My girlfriend and I got on a big fight for this and I'm questioning my values here. I personally don't think it is, it's only natural to have sexual desire but if you think about it, it gets tricky. If you took your dick out in front of a woman trying to seduce you and masturbated to her it definitly seems like cheating. What you guys think about it?

It's cheating if it's against the rules.

[Danioover9000]

@Bodhidharma

2 hours ago, Bodhidharma said:

I know porn has been discussed a lot in the forum but I didn't find nothing on regards to this. My girlfriend and I got on a big fight for this and I'm questioning my values here. I personally don't think it is, it's only natural to have sexual desire but if you think about it, it gets tricky. If you took your dick out in front of a woman trying to seduce you and masturbated to her it definitly seems like cheating. What you guys think about it?

   I've discussed about pornography here in the past, so it's an old thread. I'll say it depends on your body, mind and astral body. For me, I've been on the Nofap journey as an experiment to see how it effects my health, energy, general mood and magic, and so far I've experienced some benefits  on mood and health, but tremendous benefit on energy. In this situation, watching porn is both cheating and risky to do because of blue balls. However, as I'm me, I know my will power and limits, so I can get away with peeking. There are also exceptions to ejaculations, relapse or sexual transmutation, like if I want more charge in my magical operations at certain times and locations, or to celebrate a significant victory in life, or to create a family. You must have a clear purpose as to why you blew your load, otherwise you'd just feel disappointment and depression about relapsing. Of course it depends on the relationship with you girlfriend, is this your soul mate? Is she wife material? Does she want long term? Or short term? Is she your first gf, tenth gf, hundredth gf? Does she want to have kids? You got to communicate well with her.

   Of course it's natural to have sexual desire! You are a child of both Venus, goddess of love, and mars, god of war! Sexual desire is what creates forms on this planet, including you. Work on the masculine before the feminine aspects of you, and don't complain about your sexuality! Embrace it like a spear, you're body's nature is masculine, hence dick. I don't mean to offend if your identify with other gender roles/sexual orientations, but if your biological sex is male, it's very likely your astral body is also more male than female energy, so you must work with the energy that is below on the physical realm, to effect the above astral realm and beyond, hence 'As above, so below.". Maybe do isometric/calisthenics  workout, martial arts, yoga, sexual transmutation on creative hobbies you like. General tips with your gf relationship; work on your communication, maybe do emotional work, and spice up your sex life. If you get into those fights with gf again, aikido the energy and tease her up, be playful, say the porn was a warm-up and you're the main course. You can come up with somethin creative to make the relationship exciting. Best of luck!

   

[Bodhidharma]

We've discussed it a bit. The thing is that she is very jealous person and porn gets in the mix of that, I'm trying to be compreensive about it, but at the same time I notice that I have a high libido and porn just helps.

It just doesn't affects my personal life, I think porn is fine, nothing wrong with it, with exceptions of course.

Repressing ain't the way, until I understand my desires for what they are.

[Farnaby]

I don't consider it cheating. It would be totally fine for me if my girlfriend watched porn. Of course it's another thing if it's an addiction and it's harming our relationship. 

I think you'll have to talk with her about this with an open-mind so you can understand her point of view. This doesn't mean you have to agree with her or stop doing it, but it may bring you closer if you can understand how she feels when you watch porn. 

It's probably triggering fears and insecurities on her side. Or maybe there's some other issue in your relationship that hasn't been addressed and this was just the trigger to get into a fight because of these unresolved emotions. 

[Preety_India]

 

Maybe she is suffering some Insecurities. If that's the case then address those and let her know that you still love her and it doesn't affect your love for her. 

Maybe deep down in her mind, she sees you watching porn as a sign of you not loving her. 

Also practice more intimacy. Relationships where a woman complains about sexual stuff are generally those that are devoid of intimacy. If the intimacy is very deep, the woman will have nothing to complain about. 

Make her feel wanted. Shower her with lots of affection. I know it might sound like a work or chore to many men, but the key to making peace with your girlfriend is to gently kiss her, make love to her and have a deep intimate connection with her. 

. Then she will not bother you or fight with you because deep down she knows she is loved. 

My ex boyfriend and me sometimes argued about sexual things, like not being in the same mood sometimes, this is because deep down there was very little intimacy. 

With my current boyfriend, he is very intimate with me, so I never feel unloved, we both enjoy sex and I never complain neither does he. 

 

[Danioover9000]

@Bodhidharma

20 hours ago, Bodhidharma said:

We've discussed it a bit. The thing is that she is very jealous person and porn gets in the mix of that, I'm trying to be compreensive about it, but at the same time I notice that I have a high libido and porn just helps.

It just doesn't affects my personal life, I think porn is fine, nothing wrong with it, with exceptions of course.

Repressing ain't the way, until I understand my desires for what they are.

   Here, you answered your question. As long as you arrive at some sort of peace or understanding with your sexual nature, then it's ok. You might benefit more with doing the old school of pornography, like visualizing your fantasies. That way, you preserve some of your privacy, in your mind and out of sight of your gf. The stuff I said before still stands, working on communication and know when to give your time to her, or when you give yourself some space.

   

[Espaim]

Not in any absolute sense

Only if agreed.

[Artsu]

If you're just being stimulated by it, then it's fine. But doing something that you know will offend someone? Think it over.

Pursuing a person for sex is lust (ie the sex is the purpose, not sex in the context of love), so a strong desire in your heart for sex with a person is wrong. That's because it's objectification, and contradicts love.

Always act with love and grow in love.