Self Help Books Aren't That Effective IMO

[PukkaDanks]

Hey guys,

I will summarise my argument here, but I also made a video if you want to check it out,

 

• People read self help in order to change their behavior
• Changing behaviour is a really hard thing to do
• In order to change your behaviour your brain need to be receptive to ideas – generally brains are receptive to stories, and relatable characters, not facts figures and stats.
• Self help books are often written by academics, and do a poor job in constructing a narrative - they just bombard you with figures and a poor, formulaic story that is usually on the lines of 'I was a fool, I learned this method, now I kill life, here's my method'
• I'd argue that what you want to do is read books that have a central character who has the traits that you want to embody
• In the video I use the idea of 'Grit' by Angela Duckworth. You would be much better off reading a biography on Michelangelo to understand what grit really looks like, and if it's even something you want in your life (true grit requires immense sacrifice that most people simply won't want).

Love to know your thoughts on my argument, to me most self help books are of limited use, and you'd be better off reading compelling fiction or biographies!

 

 

Edited July 21, 2020 by PukkaDanks

[Thought Art]

(Brain dump... Good Post!)

IMO Self Help Books are written by a wide variety of people from a wide variety of backgrounds. It really depends on how and why you read them, as well as the individual books themselves. It is up to us as self actualizers to pick great books, and to be constantly becoming aware of what books and information are out there. We also need to take a holistic approach to our self education. Skill Acquisition and behavioural change are difficult, but luckily I read books on them and then I was able to develop strategies, find mentors, research apps and practices etc in order to make these changes real. Books are the mapping and expanding element of self actualizing, but they are not the same thing as doing the work. But if you don't educate yourself you can't really think the thoughts I will as a reader. Your models of reality will be thinner within those contextual frameworks. There are so many interesting and unique formats to self help books out there. Some are more technical than others, and because of the sheer diversity of self help books if you look hard enough you will find some books are more story based, and others are more dry and scientific. Some of my favourites find a balance of both.

1. Self help books are different and should considered on a case by base basis

2. When we develop our self learning programs we learn to research books based on relative complexity and difficulty depending on our needs

3. Books will not create habits, and behaviour change is more complex than simply reading the book

4. Books provide great maps for understanding the world around us. As we read more, especially high quality self help books we can actually improve our lives drastically. It was reading self help that got me on festival stages and my last job!

5. Different behaviours are changed in different ways, reading books has lead to some very important behaviour change in my life ( But it also takes emotional labour, which I read about and it helped me to develop emotional labour)

6. I made sure to read books early on the frame worked how to read books, and then to apply them in real life. 

7.  Great Books for how to learn to use books are Polymath, The First 20 hours and Code Of the Extraordinary Mind

[PukkaDanks]

@Thought Art It's an interesting take

- 3. Books will not create habits, and behaviour change is more complex than simply reading the book

I think this is the key,

I think there's definitely categories of self help books, and the technical ones that focus on actual skills such as marketing, coding etc. are a league above the ones that try to change fundamental behaviours (i.e work ethic, empathy etc.)

 

[hyruga]

Yes self helps are not that effective because they are mostly just advices without much emotional component to it. 

But I think people read self helps for a lot more reasons than listed. Other than to change behaviour, people also read to feel good about themselves, to improve their mindset, skillset, to learn more about a topic, to learn some tips, to pass time and many more. 

Self helps are also easier to read and for those living in countries where English is not their first language (Eg China, India, Japan, Thailand...), a lot of them would rather read self helps than biographies or novels which they may not understand. So the market for selfhelp is huge and getting bigger imo.

Edited July 22, 2020 by hyruga

[kag101]

On 21/07/2020 at 8:40 AM, PukkaDanks said:

Love to know your thoughts on my argument, to me most self help books are of limited use, and you'd be better off reading compelling fiction or biographies!

Why not read both?

It's good to read some good-old self-help once in a while...

[nistake]

Consuming self-help books mindlessly won't lead anywhere. After a certain point, it can become a form of entertainment.

However, if you cherry-pick the best ones and you find the principles that you most resonate with (not tryharding and or simply mimicking them), you can certainly improve different aspects of your life.

So, in my opinion, it's the method of use that really counts.

[PukkaDanks]

@kag101 tbh I do read self help but usually very much skim read them, if you watch the video I argue most of the content is given in the first few chapters, so once I've got the message ill move onto a novel that I think will help me embody the traits

[Setzer901]

I think the main reason self-help books aren't helpful to most people is due to subconscious resistance. 

Let me illustrate this point: If you grew up very shy and awkward for most of your life, and your core inner belief suggests you are worthless - no amount of self-help will remove feelings of worthlessness. You can build an alter ego of a person who is confident but the initial trauma/belief that you are worthless still remains.

Changing your behaviors and mindsets in a healthy way ideally involves being aware and letting go of subconscious beliefs and feelings - while simultaneously embodying new perspectives and behaviors. Sometimes by just letting go of the trauma, your brain can come up with the right beliefs/perspectives. 

An additional point to consider is - behavior change is slower in general, however, the right perspective without the mental baggage weighing you down is immensely helpful.

[Hello from Russia]

What is the alternative?