Is meditation supposed to make you feel terrible?

[jake473]

I think I'm a total rookie at this. I've been trying to meditate for 2 years. Here's what happens when I start a meditation practice: I feel peaceful once I've settled into the session and for a while afterwards, but on a weekly basis it always makes me more neurotic. I start to feel an undercurrent of resistance that gets stronger until it feels untenable just for me to be. It gets so uncomfortable that I search for a new distraction and the practice ends, and that's the cycle.

Is this not supposed to happen? Is it normal? It's so counter-intuitive, I don't understand. 

[Akemrelax]

How long do you meditate?

 

[4201]

I would argue it's working!

It's fetching what is hidden deep inside. Contemplate and observe this feeling. Where does it come from? Why does it arises? What is it made out of? The more you understand that feeling the less it will be a problem.

If you want to use this as an occasion to blame meditation and move on to a blindsighted life it's up to you. Otherwise I would argue this is the real beginning of your meditation journey. Perhaps the first 2 years were fun but now starts the actual healing.

[Carl-Richard]

Meditation is about accepting whatever is true in every moment. The problem is that most people are not used to not doing that, so they have to pratice, and that will of course cause some resistance. That is a normal path of growth. Try to really investigate in your direct experience what the resistance is made out of, its nature and how it functions, and then try to accept that.

[jake473]

6 minutes ago, Akemrelax said:

How long do you meditate?

 

Usually 20 minutes. 

[Carl-Richard]

3 minutes ago, jake473 said:

Usually 20 minutes. 

In my experience, the real work starts being done at the 45 minute mark. Try to work upwards toward an hour and see if it makes a difference for you.

Edited July 21, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[Artsu]

I've heard of negative effects from meditation.

To be safe, i advise switching to a different practice.

[hyruga]

There are many types of meditations. But most importantly, you should accept or let go of negative thoughts during meditation.

[Akemrelax]

1 hour ago, jake473 said:

Usually 20 minutes. 

Do you feel terrible during the 20 minutes or throughout the day?

If you feel terrible during meditation then it is normal, you need to let go more. Try to create a more comfortable atmosphere when meditating and get everything done before you start meditating to meditate stress free.

If you feel terrible throughout the day, then it’s normal too. It’s homeostasis, you want to go back to being asleep, meditation is waking you up but your mind and body is resisting. Let yourself relax, engage in relaxing activities throughout the day but don’t overdo do it. Meditation is not really a relaxing activity. Your neuroticism might be because of not having a proper source of relaxation.

 It may also be because you’re trying to meditate throughout the day or trying to “be” all the time. Don’t meditate throughout the day, it won’t work. It’s counterproductive to do it. You cannot be meditative all the time, especially in today’s environment.

Edited July 21, 2020 by Akemrelax
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[okulele]

Meditation is supposed to make you feel. That's it. If it is terrible stuff that is surfacing up, it will make you feel that. If it's time for bliss and love, it will make you feel that. Go with it. Good luck  

[jake473]

Thanks for the advice. 

46 minutes ago, Akemrelax said:

Do you feel terrible during the 20 minutes or throughout the day?

When it happens, I feel it almost all the time. I started meditating again only today. So today, my default state was fine and relatively content and I just had a normal day. What happens is once I've been meditating for a week, that default state falls into neurosis and instability until it's so discomforting I abandon the practice to return to a more bearable state. 

I think you said the correct reason, about trying to be in a meditative state constantly. But I thought that was the ideal. Why does that not work? 

[Artsu]

The neuroses may be due to heightened spiritual energy.

[Akemrelax]

36 minutes ago, jake473 said:

I think you said the correct reason, about trying to be in a meditative state constantly. But I thought that was the ideal. Why does that not work? 

Well, it does not work like you have experienced. I don't want to go into the details, it's complicated, but the short answer is it just does not. 

Do it once and forget about it. The effects of it will slowly trickle down into everyday life. 

And make sure you're getting adequate rest and work to reduce the energy you get from meditation. Neurosis might be because of excess of energy from meditation like @Artsu pointed out, make sure to expend it.

[Toby]

If you are traumatized in any way meditation can not only not work but have negative side effects: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393709787/ .

[Gesundheit]

Stay with the negative emotions. They're healthy as long as you're embracing them and not trying to repress or escape them.

Edited July 21, 2020 by Gesundheit

[diamondpenguin]

5 hours ago, jake473 said:

I think I'm a total rookie at this. I've been trying to meditate for 2 years. Here's what happens when I start a meditation practice: I feel peaceful once I've settled into the session and for a while afterwards, but on a weekly basis it always makes me more neurotic. I start to feel an undercurrent of resistance that gets stronger until it feels untenable just for me to be. It gets so uncomfortable that I search for a new distraction and the practice ends, and that's the cycle.

Is this not supposed to happen? Is it normal? It's so counter-intuitive, I don't understand. 

Have you had a traumatic life? Perhaps things are coming. Love yourself and keep through it and things will turn out better on the other side. Meditation is an emotionally challenging process. I know that when I started meditation the same things happened. But eventually your intuition will give you solutions for your problems. 

[bejapuskas]

Are you here and now throughout the day, or are you trying to time travel and be in a different state than in the here and now?

Maybe you could also try yoga with a teacher, it is also a physical and energetic exercise, so you are working on more types of „muscles“ at the same time. And the results come more immediately. But never try to have results in the moment, if you are not having them. That is just not how it works to be in the present moment.

[Jacobsrw]

5 hours ago, jake473 said:

I think I'm a total rookie at this. I've been trying to meditate for 2 years. Here's what happens when I start a meditation practice: I feel peaceful once I've settled into the session and for a while afterwards, but on a weekly basis it always makes me more neurotic. I start to feel an undercurrent of resistance that gets stronger until it feels untenable just for me to be. It gets so uncomfortable that I search for a new distraction and the practice ends, and that's the cycle.

Is this not supposed to happen? Is it normal? It's so counter-intuitive, I don't understand. 

This is not abnormal, especially for those new to it. Mediation brings forth any suppressed baggage that has been previously resisted and cemented beneath the surface.

It forces you to deal with the silence of your own inner turmoil. If your inner turmoil is constantly obscured and blocked out when busy in daily life, then expect mediation to violently bring it all to your attention. After all, it’s only when in silence can you hear all the noise that’s been hidden.

If you are experienced, it’s likely you  are still resisting something. Practice letting go and allowing pain and discomfort to be felt throughout your entire being.

Edited July 21, 2020 by Jacobsrw

[ItsNick]

Maybe breathwork or yoga will work better for you?

Sounds like maybe that "undercurrent of resistance" is emotional baggage to work through.

[Leo Gura]

See video: The Dark Side Of Meditation