Best way to break up with my girlfriend

[Iksander]

For context, I'm 23 and my girlfriend is 22. We have been together for over 1.5 years and we live together. I love her, truly. Not in the selfish needy co-dependant way, but truly love her and breaking up with her is going to make me very sad because we won't be together every day anymore and I will miss her a great deal.

The reason I want to break up, is that my relationship is taking up too much of my time and energy and I want to focus on my career. I also want to be single and go out and have fun with other girls freely. I don't like cheating. 

My girlfriend is of course very attached to me and wants to be together for life. She loves me so well and has treated me fantastically, we have a great relationship. I have never ended a long term relationship before, this is my first one. I know it's going to be emotionally challenging but if anyone has advice on this forum I would appreciate it. I trust you all much more than I trust the low quality answers google will give me.

[Michael569]

There is no easy way to do this and it will break her heart. If this feels like something you really want to do, bo honest and tell her everything. Tell her why you are doing this and do not leave out any details. She deserves to know the full truth. Expect a lot of crying and a very strong emotional reaction from her that will last a while. 

At the same time, it seems like what you have going on is a good and mature relationship and maybe you need to find a better way how to manage your life around it without it interfering. Do not destroy something that works just because you want to go and bang bunch of girls you don't know. A lot of pick up macho guys are subconsciously seeking what you already have so be careful what you go for. Just make sure this is not driven by a neurotic desire to sleep with a lot of girls. A high-quality relationship (in my opinion) goes beyond shallow sex adventuring. 

[hamedsf]

haha the dumbest way is breakup!

she loves to have a busy man by her side, explain your situation with her and she will love to see you're getting busy with other aspects of life.

as a matter of fact, women hate to see their mate as man who has no purpose and wandering around aimlessly and constantly telling her: give me love, give me love. 

if it doesn't work after explaining the situation, you're free to do what you'd prefer to do 

 

[Sleyker]

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Tell her why you are doing this and do not leave out any details. She deserves to know the full truth.

Agreed. 

Be COMPLETELY honest, don't come up with some bullshit story of how busy you are. To me it sounds like you only wanna meet new girls and have fun (that's ok) because I, myself, wouldn't end a great relationship just to focus on my career. 

Tell her why you're REALLY making this decision, your feelings, be vulnerable with her.

[Roy]

Let's be honest which one is the real reason, because you want to dedicate all your time to your career, or because you want to sleep with different women?

You could just explain to her you want more free time to yourself for work. You don't need to cut her out of your life I'm sure she'll understand and give you the space.

Besides what do you think is going to happen working all the time on your career? You're going to get stressed, need to vent, and going to need support.

Where do you think you're going to get that help from? Your amazing girlfriend that loves you and is already there with you every day? Or some drunk girl that leaves at 7 in the morning, or yourself when you're sitting at home alone.

[universe]

Whatever you do, dont babysit her through the break up. For example, if she wants to stay friends afterwards you might be tempted to not allow it because you think it will be bad for her. Instead tell her, ok we can be friends but it wont be as it was before and let her decide. (Of course only if you want to stay friends as well). Basically, dont decide what is going to be best for her but let her do that. Be honest about how you feel and whats going on and trust that she will make the best decision with it.

You sound happy with the relationship tho, have you considered doing a break for a while?

[Preety_India]

 

Be completely honest to her. 

Make it final. 

And don't let her be attached anymore. Cut the cord completely. 

 

That's the greatest favor. 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

Yup. 

And don’t view her suffering that comes of it as a bad thing. She needs it for her own growth.

+1