The Joy Journal

[soos_mite_ah]

Something that I've been observing in myself is how conservative I am when it comes to dealing with my personal life. I rarely act on impulse and I really think things through before doing anything. I am very risk adverse. 

I think a lot of it has to do with how I grew up. I grew up around a lot of adults that give shitty advice and who have made shitty life choices. As a result, I got this laundry list of things I shouldn't do. And while that is better than nothing, the reason why I have to think through everything is because just because you know what the wrong decisions are, doesnt mean you know what the right decision is. It's kind of like taking a multiple choice exam. You can either cross out all the wrong choice and arrive at the right answer through the process of elimination or you can decisively go with the right answer. The later is much more efficient and painfree. And I think that's the difference in making life decisions for people who grew up with little to no or bad guidance growing up and are aware of it versus people who has a healthy upbringing. 

I know listening to my parents is going to lead me straight to hell and I know so many paths to hell. But when it comes to figuring out where I want to go, I'm completely on my own. Its terrifying. Its overwhelming. And it is fucked up that I had to navigate things on my own emotionally for so long. 

[soos_mite_ah]

I talked to a professional astrologer today. I felt personally attacked by the reading. Everyone is gangster until the astrologer lady who has never met you spells out all of your childhood trauma and how it affects you today as well as psychoanalyze your parents.  

Edited August 13, 2021 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

The tiktok algorithm chose violence today. I feel personally attacked and just called out in the most detailed way possible. I hate it here. 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRdjAH2p/

[soos_mite_ah]

A Different Kind of Hell

Hey, so it's been a minute. 
For the last week I've been sorting my life out for school. 

I moved in a few days ago and almost didn't get a room because something happened to my housing application. After running around packing and 3 heart attacks later, I finally got a place on campus and I got out of my parent's house. Honestly, thank god. The moment they left, I felt a weight get lifted off of my shoulders. I also got assigned a random roommate which I was mentally sort of prepared for. I was expecting to room with a total stranger and for it to be awkward and me having to be this Spongebob meme for the rest of this semester instead of being my regular self.

But luckily, this random roommate assignment actually turned out to be someone I knew. She is an acquaintance from one of my classes from a couple years back. We get along really well and we have a ton in common. I would also add that the room is better than the one that I was originally anticipating on getting so basically even though this whole process was panic inducing, things turned out much better than expected. 

And while my mood overall as been more optimistic and the depression side of things are being well handled, the same can't be said about my anxiety. I'm going through the same culture shock that I experienced when I first started going to this school except it isn't as intense. I remember the first time I came here, I was mainly shook about the lack of diversity, the amount of people who came from money, how everyone has the same body type and sense of style, the conservative atmosphere, etc. This time it was the lack of diversity again (I almost forgot exactly how white this school was until I went to my first 2 classes and realized that I was the only woman of color there), and the same body type/ style. I stg in this day alone, I just saw different variations of the same 3 outfits on different white girls who all look like a clone of the same person. I'm not wearing anything crazy but I've been walking to my classes thinking to myself in the back of my mind *was there a uniform that I didn't get the memo for tf?*

Also, this hit me at the same intensity as the first time but WHERE ARE ALL OF THE THICC PEOPLE ON THIS CAMPUS!?!?!?!? I wrote about some of this in another post in one of my other journals but I thought I'd include the most relevant part of that post as it relates to this. I'm also linking that entry as well. 

On 1/9/2021 at 11:49 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

So apparently it's because women without curves communicate this sense of sexual unavailability and purity. Those two things gives an essence of exclusivity and unattainability. Lots of things that pertain to fashion also have elements of elitism, classism, etc. rooted into it. Especially now in the U.S., I can see why skinniness would be held as a status symbol. If you are skinny, it often means that you have the time to work out and take care of yourself by for example, cooking at home and the money to afford high quality food. You can easily go to a vending machine and see that water costs $1.75 while a soda costs $0.99 or go to a gas station where you can get 3 donuts for $3.00 but if you want a salad that's going to be around $6.00. 

I also had this experience in college as well. I currently attend a college that is stereotyped for rich kids mainly because a large portion of the student body is represented by upper class white kids. I am going to this school because of scholarship money. In other words, in a way I'm here on a bribe. And being around people who come from a very different background than my own has been a very educational experience for many reasons. While I was expecting a lack of racial diversity when I set foot on campus, one type of lack of diversity  that I wasn't prepared for was the lack of diversity in terms of body types. There are no thicc people on campus. Everyone is skinny. If you don't have a six pack you are considered fat. And all of the girls are wearing the same over priced Lululemon leggings and look like they are about to go to the gym for work out. I asked a friend wtf this was all about because I thought I was seeing patterns that weren't there and I thought I was going insane and she explained to me how being as skinny as possible is a huge status symbol among the rich. For a solid semester, I walked around feeling like I was the only one with tits and an ass and eventually that started making me self conscious because I felt like I was a fat cow that stuck out in the crowd. I've even had my really skinny friends get self conscious because of the standards in my university and how whenever there is food present there is always a ton of people talking about dieting and restricting food. Over all this environment hasn't been helpful for me to be more body positive. 

This semester I'm also taking all business classes. I haven't done this before. I did take classes in the business school before however I always had a couple of social science classes to balance things out. Broooo... This place sets off my fight or flight response. It's basically everything I described above and more. I just feel really out of place here. There is one class that I'm really excited about but also panicking about. It's this business leadership class which focuses on public speaking and career readiness. I'm not super excited about doing public speaking related things at 8am in the morning in a place where I feel like the odd one out in a variety of different ways. But on the other hand, I think I really need to focus on developing the skills that this class focuses on in general for my personal development so even though this isn't exactly what I want, it definitely something I need because I don't know wtf I'm doing with my life career wise. 

Speaking of not knowing what I'm doing, It's 12:43 pm and I've already reevaluated my life choices probably like 5 times today (wish I was exaggerating but I'm not). I really feel like the awkward theatre kid who is stuck in the body of a business major because she wants to be employed in the future. Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm studying, I just don't feel like I fit in socially all that well. I think that pretty much summarizes my college experience at this particular school if you ignore all of the traumatic, crazy shit that happened to me in the last few years.  The traumatic shit I would say isn't linked to anything as far as this particular school is concerned (I'm pretty sure that even if I went elsewhere I would have had to deal with similar things), but this place didn't do anything to help (or hurt) the situation if that makes sense. Love the school, just don't resonate with the people. 

Will make edits and add to the post later on. Submitting this because I have class in a few minutes. 

[soos_mite_ah]

11 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Will make edits and add to the post later on. Submitting this because I have class in a few minutes. 

Decided to make a new post instead just so things are more organized. Consider this as a continuation of the previous post but not necessarily a part 2. 

So yeah... I feel like the odd ball in this campus and I am sooo tempted to just give up socially and keep my head down for the next couple years. And as much as I want to give up, I did make a promise to myself on how I was going to try to build a social circle. Not sure how I'm going to pull that off while not getting the virus. I know people say it's safe and give the conservative atmosphere of the school, a lot of students are comfortable going out without a mask. But I'm not even though I'm vaccinated. Maybe it's the way my parents dealt with it or maybe it's me being really risk averse, but I just don't feel physically safe 100% to put myself out there. I had a couple classes and both classes were packed. The only difference pre pandemic and now is the masks and that's it. No extra distancing, no online courses, nothing. I'm not super freaked out by the whole thing but it definitely feels unusual to be in a crowd of people and not being 6ft apart from everyone since that was my habit for a year and a half now. 

I know I've only had 2 out of the 4 classes I'm taking this semester so far but I'm intimidated by those classes. I talked about one of them and I have another that I'm going to talk about in this post. I'm taking a class on negotiations and it's out of my comfort zone because normally I don't try to test people. I just take things at face value, try to be as transparent as possible, and if it doesn't work out I just walk away. This also relates to how I feel like a lot of my business classes have the ick factor. A lot of the stuff I'm learning, they aren't bad inherently but I can clearly see how people use things to con other people instead of helping them. Like with negotiations for example, obviously you can use it to manipulate people but you can also use it to advocate for yourself and see through people's bs. That is one example of many and I'm not even getting into the specifics of it. I'm also a very noncompetitive person and I just don't want to deal with other students who are really cut throat and confrontational. I had to deal with that once and I ended up getting yelled at for 2 hours straight by 8 different people. That zoom meeting was also recorded and sent to my professor for grading. It wasn't fun. I cried afterwards lol. And I feel like I'm going to deal with that pretty often in this class. I'm not looking forward to that. 

Then there is my experiences for the last few years especially during the pandemic so far. This situation has left me feeling really unsure of myself, unsure of my abilities, unsure of where I'm going with my life and what the future holds, unsure about what my place is socially. I'm definitely not my most confident self and I don't think that helps given the classes I'm taking this semester. I also want to emphasize that even though I'm unsure, I'm not exactly insecure. There is a lot of ambiguity and doubt, and while that does overlap with insecurity a bit, it has a different flavor. It's more panic inducing rather than shame inducing however the shame isn't completely absent. The panic is just more front and center.  

[soos_mite_ah]

Manifestations 

Ok so I have a really freaky story about manifesting and I'm basically a believer at this point. When it came to my dorm, I found out the day before I supposed to move in that my housing application got cancelled. A couple months prior, I have been in a consistent mood where I felt as if nothing was going to get better and that I'm going to be stuck with my parents for the rest of my life. I was acting as if which is a manifestation technique. By acting as if or by acting under assumption, it's like you're basically sending out subconscious signals of whatever you're acting like is going to happen and then you end up manifesting that very thing. 

So as I was panicking with not very many options, I decided that I'm going to try out this last minute manifestation technique. Basically I wrote a letter to the universe basically saying "hey sorry about emitting negative energy, can you fix this for me? I know you can do this because you have moved mountains for me in the past and I have faith and trust in you." I also did this thing called scripting where you get into the zone and write out exactly how you want a situation to go in a very detail oriented way because that's also a manifestation technique. I wrote this once I released the negative emotions I was feeling when I got the news. I let myself feel and didn't bypass it. Once I was done with that, I wrote out the letter and it came from a feeling of acceptance, peace, and confidence. I was still pretty anxious about the whole thing. But I do think that being anxious while still having the faith that everything will turn out ok is possible. I didn't tell my parents about anything. Still acting as if, I quit my part time job, got packed up, and every time I caught myself feeling anxious I told myself that I was excited because my manifestations always come true.

And whatever I scripted actually did come true. Just to be sure I also added a bunch of details that were along the lines of things that would be nice but things that I'm not attached to. It was kind of like bonus points. I have this habit where I try to aim high because even if I don't reach that ideal goal, I still get pretty far.  So in this bonus round I scripted that I was going to get a discount for my dorm and that I'm going to be good friends with my roommate. 

BOTH OF THOSE THINGS CAME TRUE

With the roommate thing, I was fully prepared from the start that I was probably going to room with some random stranger. Yes, my roommate was random but when I moved in, I found out that it was actually someone I had a class with 2 years ago. We were both excited about that and we basically skipped over the whole awkward phase of getting to know your roommate since we were acquaintances before. And I'm sure at this rate we'll be pretty good friends tbh. I feel like we're already pretty good friends because of how comfortable we are around each other when it comes to opening up and communicating.

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I also did this thing about a month ago where I wrote out all of the things I want to happen in my life along with a bunch of affirmations. Like I said in previous posts, I've been getting more into astrology. And I found out about this thing that is apparently really astrologically significant when it comes to manifesting. It's something along the lines of if you try to do a manifestation ritual on these following days, it's guaranteed success. Honestly, I don't know how much of that is true but I'm just having fun with it. I think that's why a lot of my manifestations work. I believe in it and I know ways that it makes sense in a non woo woo kind of way but at the same time I don't take it super seriously and I enjoy the process and that makes me detached from the outcome (because giving out negative/desperate energy comes from a place of lack and that blocks your manifestations) . 

Prior to the experience with housing above, like I said, I believed in the law of attraction and manifestation but it wasn't in this magical woo woo way. I kind of saw manifestation as this long term thing where you need to take your time releasing blockages and working through your limiting beliefs and that your manifestations come slowly after a lot of hard work. And don't get me wrong, that is the case in a lot of situations. But also, thinking that manifestation is always this time consuming, emotionally laborious thing can be a limiting belief on it's own as well. Manifestation can be easy if you want it to be and in the housing situation, I really wanted manifestation to be easy and instantaneous. And so I released that limiting belief in that situation. I think another reason why I had this limiting belief around manifestation was because I didn't fully believe in it. I believed in it enough to make things happen but there was a block that was still there in the form of doubting things like spirituality, woo woo things, and intuition. Like I believed that manifestation only worked in certain situations and as a result, it only worked in certain situations for me. 

But anyways, now I'm choosing to see as the universe as my personal wish granting factory because I guess if you want to bring nonduality into this, I created everything and I am a part of everything. And as a result, I'm manifesting everything all the time. 

[soos_mite_ah]

Table of Contents Part 1

Ok so this journal is going to be closed but before I do that, I thought I'd make a table of contents of sorts so I can find my way around here if I want to reference this journal in the future. 

Page 1 

• Bad Systems, Not Bad People
• Blinding Joy
• Shadows and the Cobwebs of My Mind Pt.1 
• Shadows and the Cobwebs of My Mind Pt.2
• Shadows and the Cobwebs of My Mind Pt.3
• Being the One Who Gives More
• I've been in a particular mood lately 
•  Lately I Haven't Felt Very Joyful
• Bright Eyed Bushy Tailed Energy 
• Looking Back a Few Days Ago....
• This is Random But....
• Desired Career Paths 
• Stillness

Page 2 

• Self Development Won't Make You a Better Person 
• Interrupting Cynicism 
• Two Parts to Self-Esteem 
• Giving All the Fucks in All the Wrong Places...
• Increasing My Level of Well Being
• Starting Classes Again
• First Day of Classes
• God is Consciousness, You are God
• First Day of Classes Part 2 

Page 3 

• Human Interaction
• Something I'm Trying to Integrate: You Don't Have to be Special 
• Cravings: My Journey with Food
• Adult Brain, Childhood Feelings 
• 9 Stages of Ego Development: Reflections
• CHUG THE SELF-LOVE JUICE 
• Pumpkin Spice Lattes
• Re-Evaluating My Life Purpose
• Resistance to Discipline 
• Stability Fetish 
• Understanding Ego Backlash 
• Cheat Codes to Life
• 12 Jungian Archetypes
• 12 Jungian Archetypes: Reflection 
• 12 Jungian Archetypes: Where to go From Here
• Meme Historian
• Using Fashion for Self Development
• The Ways I Have Grown at 20 Part 1 

Page 4

• The Ways I Have Grown at 20 Part 2
• The Ways I've Grown at 20 Part 3 
• Smart = Safety 
• Conscious Unconsciousness 
• Tik Toks and Videos That Just Make Me Happy
• More Things I Need to Integrate 
• Downward Spiral TW: Suicide 
• Coming Back Up
• The Hypocrisy of Self-Hatred 
• Limitations/ Excesses of the Stages  (Green and Yellow) 
• Mental Health Under Late Stage Capitalism 
• Productivity as a Part of Trauma 
• How to stop procrastinating: Noah Elkrief 
• The Brilliance of My Self Deception
• Self Development as a Part of My Self-Esteem
• Talking w/ Contrapoints - The Left, Voting, & Pessimism
• Reasons Why I Procrastinate

Page 5

• Increasing My Level of Well Being
• Phone-a-Friend
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 1: How I Ended Up Here 
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 2: Being the "Good Kid"
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 3: The Larger Systems at Play 
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 4: I am Here, I am Present 
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 5: A Need for Gentleness
• Actualizing in a Psych Ward Part 6: Moving on Up
• Gentleness and Discipline 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

Table of Contents Part 2

Page 6

• Life Update: General Health
• Picking at Wounds 
• Experience! (or in some cases, lack thereof) 
• Little Reminders Throughout My Day: Things I Tell Myself When I Catch Myself Spiraling
• A Reset 
• Spending Time with My Stage Orange Friends 
• Bright Eyed Bushy Tailed Energy 
• Christmas Cheer

Page 7

• As The Years Go By, As We Grow Up And Grow Old
• Perfectionism
• Snow in Texas 
• And Speaking of Things That are Weird and Bizarre....
• Thoughts of Dating for a Short Term Relationship
• Flaws
• Shame
• Anxiety
• Desire Part 1
• Desire Part 2
• Desire Part 3
• Desire Part 4 
• Desire Part 5 
• Things I want to do when the pandemic is over
• My Unhealthy Stage Green Exhaustion Phase
• Life Is Easy

Page 8

• Party Phase but make it Cultured
• Media Consumption Analysis Part 1: Being a Material Girl
• Wisdom
• Media Consumption Analysis Part 2: My Lana Del Rey Phase 
• Anti-Capitalist Depression Spirals 
• America as an Abusive Partner
• Media Consumption Analysis Part 3: YouTube
• Media Consumption Part 4: Being in my Head
• Personal Development To Do List
• You'll Thank Me One Day
• Media Consumption Analysis Part 5: Instagram
• Media Consumption Analysis Part 6: Music 
• The Type of Masculine Energy I Want in my Life

Page 9

• Masculine Containment
• Priorities 
• Relatability Humor: Making Fun of People in Your Community and Perpetuating Stereotypes
• Dating Cynicism 
• Videos That Spark Joy 
• The Illusion of Memory 
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 1: The Desire to "Get My Life Together"
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 2: "Having My Life Together"
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 3: My Relationship with Actualized.org
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 4: Having My Life Come Apart Again- Aspiration Towards Competence
• Shame Revisited
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 5: Things I Have Learned from Contemplating and Journaling About this Topic
• Rejecting Humanness and Human Needs: Integration vs Transcendence 
• Pinterest
• March 13th
• Limiting Attitudes Around Money
• Awareness vs Focus 
• A Fluid Identity

Page 10 

• Personal Boundaries vs. Oneness
• Vulnerability
• Media Consumption Analysis: Femininity and Feminism in the Early 2000s
• Letting Myself Be Human
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 6: Family Dynamics
• Comparing Myself Against the Priorities of Other People
• Plastic surgery 
• Nitpicking at my Appearance 
• Accepting the Softest Parts of Myself: Thoughts on Vulnerability
• Feeling Unworthy of Connection 
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part 7: Exploration
• Talking to a Vedic Psychic Medium
• Shame Around  Being a Virgin
• Why I Chose to Remain a Virgin 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

Table of Contents Part 3

Page 11

• Credit Where Credit is Due
• Updating My Style 
• Self Expression vs Safety 
• Concerns Around Dating
• Self Control is an Overrated Part 1: The Path to Self Discipline
• Self Control is Overrated Part 2: Creating Habits 
• Feral Cat Energy 
• Turning Competence into an Identity Part (??): Mercy and Compassion
• The Happiness Spectrum 
• Reconciling Preferences and Needs with the Absolute and Relative 
• Embracing My Inner Basic
• Understand and Improve the Human Condition
• A Permanent State of Existential Crisis
• Coming Out as a "Spiritual" Person 

Page 12

• Coming Out as a Spiritual Person: A Reflection on My Reflection
• Digital Self Harm and Masochistic Epistemology
• Pandemic Angst 
• Shame Around Being Socially Awkward Part 1: Why Do I Think I'm Awkward
• Shame Around Being Socially Awkward Part 2: Cringe 
• Procrastinating on my Purpose
• Self Discipline is Overrated Part 3: Discipline Doesn't Work. Here's What to do Instead 
• Turning Competence Into an Identity Part 9: Don't You Just Hate It When Men
• Judging My Judgement, Critiquing My Critical Thinking
• Appreciating Bitterness 
• 9 Stages of Ego Development: Where Am I Now? 
• The Necessity of Acknowledging Progress
• Fatphobia in the 2000s 
• My Thoughts on Spiral Dynamics 
• My Thoughts on the 9 Stages of Ego Development 

Page 13

• Actually Acknowledging My Progress
• Journaling Habits and Writing Style
• Nothing New Here 
• Videos that Resonate with Me
• Analyzing Cottagecore 
• Cringeworthy Part 1

Page 14

• Subtle Addictions
• Dealing with the People in My Management Class Part 1 
• Dealing with the People in My Management Class Part 2
• I Have No Idea What I'm Doing
• Cringeworthy Part 2
• How to Deal with Confusion 
• Cringeworthy Part 3: Some of My Key Takeaways
• Shame Around Being Awkward Part 2: Becoming Comfortable with My Interests 
• Dealing with My Spiritual Ego : Moving Towards Balance and Integration 
• On Recent Events on the Forum (Trigger Warning: Suicide)
• Dealing with My Spiritual Ego: The Dangers of the Spiritual Ego and Why People Should Be Careful

Page 15 

• The Limits of Science
• Mainstream vs Intellectual Versions of the Spiral Dynamics Stages
• A Rant About the Incels in the Dating Section 
• Hedonism Through the Stages 
• Lack of Life Experience, FOMO, and Feeling Like a Child
• Emotionless = Cool 
• Figuring out what I want to do with my life Part 1
• Figuring out what I want to do with my life Part 2
• Life Purpose Limiting Beliefs 

[soos_mite_ah]

Table of Contents Part 4

Page 16

• Videos That Make Me Laugh
• Where Do I Want to Live When I Grow Up
• What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up? Part 1: Fetishizing and Monetizing Your Interests
• What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up? Part 2: Why I Stopped Searching for a Purpose and a Dream Career 
• What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up? Part 2.2: Why I Stopped Searching for a Purpose and a Dream Career 
• Jobs That I Have Considered at Some Point or Another
• My Choices Under Capitalism 
• Thoughts on Blogging 
• What is Authenticity 
• Off Days and Punishing Small Mistakes 

Page 17

• Embracing the Awkward Part 1: I'm Neither Awkward nor Not Awkward 
• Embracing the Awkward Part 2: Finding Confidence in Awkward Moments 
• The  Men are Not Okay 
• Emotionally Connecting with People vs Having Social Skills: Am I Closed Off or Do We Just Not Click? 
• Emotionally Connecting with People vs Having Social Skills: Am I a Dismissive Avoidant or Am I Just Not Into You? 

Page 18 

• Welcome to Wreck-Tok !!!
• Then for the rest of this page I was basically having a break down over the way my parents were gaslighting me and being emotionally unavailable

Page 19 

• Continuation of the break down 
• Cringing at My Transparency 
• Parallel Perceptual Realities Part 1: Quick to Move On 
• Parallel Perceptual Realities Part 2: Social Anxiety 
• Online Dating Feels Forced 
• Capitalistic Notions of My Best Self 
• My Story of Class Consciousness (Never made that post even though I had a placeholder---> NEED TO DO THIS ON MY NEXT JOURNAL)

Page 20 

• Crazy Crystal Astrology Lady Things
• My Birth Chart
• My Birth Chart Findings and Understandings Part 1 Big Picture Aspects 
• Memories that Haunt Me
• Time Travel Things 
• The Importance of Healing Relationships and Having Healthy Social Support 
• Risk Aversion
• A Different Kind of Hell
• Manifestations 
• Table of Contents Part 1,2,3,4

 

[soos_mite_ah]

AAAAAAND THIS JOURNAL IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED

I have a new journal where my posts continue. Just needed a fresh start since there are too many posts on here for practical/organizational reasons.  Consider this last post and the table of contents as the closing credits and consider the link as a sequel 

 

[Vision]

On 07/06/2021 at 3:22 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

I've also watched a bunch of videos on New Zealand because I've been looking into how to get there. I don't know much about New Zealand from experience but I have looked into a few things here and there. If there is anyone from New Zealand reading this and thinks I'm being fed with bs, I'm sorry if I sound delusional lol, please kindly correct me and give me a more realistic picture 

 

On 07/06/2021 at 3:22 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

Pros: 

Lower Population- small community vibes, less traffic:  I'm here for that. I know I mentioned that I like bigger cities but I'm also good with rural areas tbh. This also goes along with the outdoors, but one of my favorite places in the U.S. to drive by is Arkansas. I really like forests and small towns. They're really beautiful as long as you don't stop driving and as long as you ignore the Confederate flags lol. 

Depends on where you want to live.

Easier to find a job because of lower population: Not sure how true this is but BET!

Not so fast. Remember that it is also a small country... scale.

Laid back, slow paced life style (can also be a con): I mean, I'm here for it. 

Compared to USA I can imagine this to be the case, but again, this depends on where you want to live. 

Fairly diverse (as far as nationalities go): I had to add that in parenthesis because lets be real as far as racial diversity goes, New Zealand isn't about to beat the U.S. But yeah I'm here for the diversity. 

You will find more diversity in central areas. There are areas which have 90% pakehas (Europeon descent)

Cons: 

Weather changes a lot: I swear whenever I travel somewhere, there is always that one person that says something along the lines of iF yOU don'T lIKe thE weATHEr JuSt WaIT 5 mInUTes. So as a result, I don't really take this seriously. Yeah the weather is more unpredictable and is getting more extreme. It's not limited to one place. It's climate change. We're all in this together *cue the highschool musical sound track* 

Yes, the weather is bipolar. One day it's sunshines and butterflies, the next day it's raining with lightning.

City life is kind of basic (not so many shopping places, night life etc.): And that's perfectly all right with me. I'm more so into cities for their diversity and their progressive attitudes rather than for getting lit or going shopping.  

Again, depends on where you live. This is not the case at all with Auckland City for example. There are many shopping places and night life.

Heating and insulation in houses aren't the best: I searched up the climate here and it seems tamer than Dallas. I've also lived in places where heating and insulation isn't the best and that has similar winters to New Zealand so I don't think this would be that much of an adjustment to be honest. 

Who told you that?

Earthquakes: I guess part of me isn't afraid of earthquakes that much mainly out of the ignorance of not experiencing them. But at the same time, New Zealand also apparently has the infrastructure to deal with this so that's good. 

I was born and raised here and have never experienced an earthquake in my life. I wouldn't worry about this.

Hope that helps  

Also, have you ever considered making a blog of some sort?

[Vision]

What!? I didn't realize how old that was. I don't know how I came across it. 

[soos_mite_ah]

@Vision Thank you so much for your input. Yeah I don't know much about New Zealand culturally other than what I see online lol so it's nice to get information from someone who was born and raised there. Tbh, I'm mainly into the idea of moving because of better labor laws and how it's considerably less chaotic politically compared to the U.S. 

And yes I have considered making a blog. I'm just trying to figure out my life, practice a little more, and get the funds to make a website in the mean time. 

.

.

.

Also disclaimer for this journal: While this journal is closed to any new entries on my part, comments are still welcome and I don't mind responding to them. 

[Vision]

@soos_mite_ah

Sounds great. Good luck on your journey!

 

Also I realised that I came across that old post from here lmao.

Completely forgot while I was writing ?