9 Stages of Ego Development: Where Am I Now?  I journaled about this topic around the time when Leo first came out with these videos. I decided to revisit them to see where I'm at now since I did work through a lot of things between September 2020 and now. Normally people span 3 or more stages with having one stage as their center of gravity. Sometimes they slip back to previous stages when they are under stress and emotional distress and sometimes they intellectually understand the higher stages but don't fully embody them yet. At September, I mainly was a mix of the Pluralist and the Strategist with the Achiever mixed in there. I also realized that I had a lot of hang ups and issues left over from the previous stages that I needed to work through to create a stronger foundation. Since then I think I dealt with a lot of the issues from the previous stages through shadow work and I have moved up like half a stage from pluralist/strategist to strategist mainly. Here is more information on that from the post I wrote in my journal from back then:  I read through the paper in more detail this time and took more time to reflect on various memories I had from my childhood along with reading my journal entries from back then to get an idea of what kinds of things gave me an existential crisis back then to track my progression. Because I had more time than I did when I was busy with school, I took notes on the original paper whereas before I just read through it, highlighted a bunch of stuff that resonated with me on my laptop, and copied and pasted a few things as it was relevant to me journaling (see linked post).    This is what I came up with this time around in a nut shell:  My Ego Stages Through the Years Symbiotic: Ages 0-2 (2 years) Impulsive: 2-8 (6 years)  Self Protective/ Opportunist: 5-8 (3 years)  Conformist: 7-12 (5 years)  Expert: 10-15 (5 years)  Achiever: 15-19 (4 years)  Pluralist: 16-21 (5 years)  (I said from 16 to 21 because I'm sure I can smooth out the few hang ups I have between now and my 22nd birthday) Strategist: 19-??? Construct Aware: 20-??? Where Am I Now in April 2021?  Achiever: Though this isn't my center of gravity, there are still somethings that resonate and that I need to exhaust. I still resonate with self analysis and understanding people being my favorite pastime (p.44). I still need to figure out my career path and become financially independent from my parents  (p. 43). P. 43: "Achievers are more aware of their overall career path and how they got to where they are. At the same time, they trust in the potential to improve themselves through effort, learning and feedback. Feedback can now be listened to without necessarily agreeing with it or feeling one’s whole identity has been diminished. Whether the critic is right, misinformed, or misjudged me, the their response is useful information both about myself and about the critic." P.44: "Thus, the analysis of others and self-analysis become a favorite pastime and challenge. Many typologies and theories about human behavior come out of this motivation to classify and understand other human beings. From psychoanalysis, to behaviorism, to Rogerian therapy, to Gestalt approaches, many of the major therapeutic schools were born out of the Achiever mindset. Knowing the root causes and reasons for unwanted behavior helps one to fix problems and to achieve better outcomes. Indeed, finding the causes and working out explanations for what one observes are paramount for the scientific, modern method of inquiry and knowledge acquisition." (I don't have an issue with constructive criticism but I will say that I have no idea where I'm going in the next 5-10 years)  Pluralist: I have worked through much of this phase but I notice myself slipping back here at times when I'm less conscious such as times of stress. I need to study epistemology and philosophy to horizontally develop in this stage (p. 54). I have highlighted portions from pages 56-58 as well as 61-62. To move past those hang ups, I need to find my life purpose.  P.54: "The 4th person perspective allows individuals to focus on epistemology, that is, to examine how they came to believe what they believe and feel and how one knows and proves things. The transition to the first postconventional stage is a watershed in so far as it is the first time that the vertical move and the questioning of previously unexamined ideas is no longer supported by society and its chief conventional representatives. Postconventional thinking and questioning assumptions may be taught and encouraged in college courses, but then challenged and or dismissed at work and at home." (I need to look into epistemology when I go back to delving into deeper topics) P. 56 (resonated with me from 2018 to now): "As Stage 4/5 individuals explore their feelings and motivations, they can also begin to become aware of how easily we can fool ourselves. The possibility of defensive self-deception and culturally biased distortion are now starting to be experienced as ever-present dangers. Given the increasing awareness of one’s own vulnerabilities, persons at the 4th person perspective can exhibit a new, non-hostile type of humor that is directed towards the self. It is based on an the beginning sense of the futility of framing things in terms of right and wrong, provable or disprovable. It also recognizes how easily we can fool ourselves about our motives and intentions."  P. 56: "Cognition: Thus, In the positive, liberated version of this stage, individuals may enjoy paradoxes and contradictions and no longer try to explain them away....Rather than trying isolate aspects of experience into different to categories and analyze them separately as independent variables, Stage 4/5 individuals are looking for connections and subtler clues to what is going on. Useful information can come from many sources that were previously considered outside the realm of scientific inquiry and viewed with skepticism, such as body sensations, intuition, dreams, reflection, and meditation."  P.57: "Individualists often replace the focus on causality (past) and goals (future) of the Conscientious person with a fascination with the immediate present. They need to understand and watch how things unfold. Their attention turns from outcomes and deliverables to an interest in the processes, the relationships and the complex, non-linear influences among variables." (basically me coping with the pandemic by trying to be present and focusing on myself since there isn't anything else I can do)  P.57: "They can therefore become enthralled with watching themselves trying to make sense of themselves. They often withdraw from external affairs and company life, or from ordinary daily routines. Instead, they turn inward in search of their unique gifts or answers to their own burning questions. If they are given room to be themselves and time to experiment freely, they can provide valuable input to the workplace. They find novel ways of looking at problems, or inspire others with their enthusiasm in pursuing their own interests and questions. If working independently, they are likely to fashion schedules and work contexts to optimize their flourishing. Sometimes, they are content to simply live day by day following “their own drummer.” Today’s hippy culture still embodies some of that sense of freedom and self-expression in the company of like-minded others symptomatic of the Individualist mindset." (this is me taking a break from school and trying to figure out my purpose tbh).  P. 58: "Depression at this level has several facets: a) The realistic fear of being reabsorbed, that is sucked back into the “rat race” of the Achiever mindset by the demands of society; b) The dread of a routine work life that does rarely allows for individual self-expression and creativity; c) The concern that one will never find a clear self-definition from which to consistently operate and generate a coherent self sense; d) The deep experience of worry and tensions that come from growing beyond the conventional mindset especially when it comes to intimate relationships."  P. 61:"Personality types: Individualists often prefer to live at the fringe of society, to live exactly the way they want to be. Admired by postconventional people for their spontaneity and unique self-expression, conventional persons may distrust them for being non-conformist and impossible to understand and predict." (this and the quote from p. 58 have to do with  my angst with capitalism and how there is a part of me that wants to live out my cottage core fantasies in a farm isolate from everyone)   Strategist: This is my center of gravity as I'm writing this. Everything in this section of the paper resonates with me at this moment.   Construct Aware: This is where my higher self is at. Even though I can cognitively grasp the concepts in this stage, I'm far from being able to articulate it much less embody it emotionally. I need to work on my foundation with more basic forms of self help especially as I'm writing this since I'm currently taking a break from deeper topics because I noticed myself getting burnt out, overwhelmed, and like I don't have the proper foundation to integrate teachings without misunderstanding them and using them in an unhealthy way.  Things to Keep in Mind:  It takes about 5 years to move to the next level if circumstances are favorable and you're openminded It takes a year if you're doing a well developed program to shift to a new level.  While each person has a center of gravity in one stage, their development can span across 3 or more stages depending on their mood and stress levels.  My Goals/ Sense of Direction Going Forward:  Find my life purpose Figure out a career path and become financially independent from my family  Get some close friends and hopefully a significant other (focus on after the pandemic wears off and I can get out more)  Learn epistemology and philosophy  (this one isn't super urgent but the first 3 are the ones I really need to focus on)