What's wrong with me

[Preety_India]

@Amit  yea I'm good.. Thanks for asking.

 

[Kailash Bhattarai]

@Amit There is nothing wrong with you haha. But i remebered you because on one post you said you want a virgin girl, i know it's normal of your upbringing,  in India. I'm from Nepal and we also have similar type of thinking. Many of my friend have such type of thinking too. Also you seem to be moralistic. Conclusion is you have some stage blue in you (I guess about 50%). Also there seems to be some kind of trauma liked with you on female sexuality, i used to have similar trauma and similar kind of thinking few years ago.. I would like yo to think from an prespective of women and they are sexual creature. Read books on female psychology.

Also you being sexually more experienced with girls and  learning how to a seduce women will reduce such thinking massively. I transcended such thinking after i started to hangout with pickup artists and learning female attraction, psychology and going on dates with them. I hope this helps.

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, Amit said:

The fear, of losing, of dying

Is that feeling from direct experience of losing and or dying...or from your belief about potentially losing and or dying?

[Amit]

40 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Is that feeling from direct experience of losing and or dying...or from your belief about potentially losing and or dying?

Direct experience, ending up losing things I held very close to my heart again and again... Though It grounded my non needy perspective, but painful thoughts. .. 

Looks like the root of it is in the fear of potential death of what I've constructed as my identity, which I found to be illusory and not in sync with reality. 

 

Edited August 6, 2020 by Amit

[Amit]

1 hour ago, Kailash Bhattarai said:

Also there seems to be some kind of trauma liked with you on female sexuality, i used to have similar trauma and similar kind of thinking few years ago..

I transcended such thinking after i started to hangout with pickup artists and learning female attraction, psychology and going on dates with them

Maybe there is, what was your trauma & what kind of thinking exactly? 

Maybe It would be great for me to hear your learnings

 

[Nahm]

@Amit

The first ‘thing’ to recognize, is that the greatest tool possible - inspection of direct experience - has been hijacked in thought and conceptualized. That likely sounds like a harsh thing to say, but imagine you were on a plane. Continuing to pretend the plane isn’t hijacked is an approach, a way you could go about it...but you would certainly not get to where you want to be going. 

[Kailash Bhattarai]

1 hour ago, Amit said:

Maybe there is, what was your trauma & what kind of thinking exactly? 

Maybe It would be great for me to hear your learnings

Haha.. first i was bullied on school, have very less friend, also i'm really short, 5'2", i was the clown of my class, practically had the least value among all. Also i proposed a girl in front of my whole class and got viciously rejected. Literally everyone were laughing at me. This girl already had a boyfriend in class, but she used to manipulate me for validation. That made me feel like girls are really manipulative and got bitter towards them. I had very little experience with female. I classified open women as sluts. My friends were also not that good with girls, no one understood female nature.

Then i started to change my company and started to hang out with pick up artist, who actually had some good sexual experience with females. I approached a lot of them, had few dates and success and slowly as i got better and after watching and reading texts about female psychology my thinking started to shift. Also i did some trauma works to heal past stuffs. 

Best advice i can give you is if you have bad company change that company and start hanging out with people who have some idea about female psychology and have some success with them.

Edited August 6, 2020 by Kailash Bhattarai

[Amit]

@Nahm true, that's what the root issue, but the conflict is about the usefulness of conceptualization...

just like other senses, can't thoughts be used to derive wisdom from something experienced directly? 

Where do we draw the boundary for healthy conceptualization? 

[Amit]

@Kailash Bhattarai nice to hear your inspirational story, had somewhat similar experiences, but I'm ok with not having sex then to fall into pickup mentality, that's too far below.. 

[Nahm]

@Amit

When I am saying direct experience, I am talking about what is actual right now, rather than any concepts. 

 

[Amit]

@Nahm what do you mean by "actual right now"? 

Is it everything else apart from thinking? 

[Kailash Bhattarai]

17 minutes ago, Amit said:

with not having sex then to fall into pickup mentality, that's too far below.. 

Pickup is stage orange so its actually a step above and don't demonize pickup, notice this statement is a moralization, i.e. a stage blue one. the fact that Leo got into pickup is the reason there is actualized.org. There are many pickup artists who are stage green too. Being a man means to be good with women, that's a very significant part, and what else is better to learn about women than massive exposer with women. I'm not saying treat women with disrespect. 

Pickup has many regressive expect but also has many many extremely important expect. The trick is not to fall into regressive expect and to master important expect. As i have already said i was 5'2" and very insecure. So far insecure that i was thinking of leg surgery just to get few inches. Doing pickup gave me huge courage, better self esteem and almost completely eliminated my insecurity. 

Edited August 6, 2020 by Kailash Bhattarai

[Amit]

@Kailash Bhattarai however you justify it, with spiral dynamics or what not... I really won't care less about it, not into women, might be wrong what you projecting on me. 

[Kailash Bhattarai]

8 hours ago, Amit said:

@Kailash Bhattarai however you justify it, with spiral dynamics or what not... I really won't care less about it, not into women, might be wrong what you projecting on me. 

Haha. I might wrong bro. Of course we can't really know a person via a forum. I myself have many shadow and many work to do.