Advice needed

[Chilli]

 I think I have a good sense of what I really am. I conceptually know that I am not an experience. That I am not a noun, but in fact a verb. There is no experience that experiences all other experiences, there is only experiencing itself. 

 The problem is that I feel there is a need for a quantum leap in perspective, since perceiving is still being drawn in by body and mind. I can't shake this attachment to experience, and would like to know what I should be doing at this stage. Should I focus on simply letting go through meditation? Is there something I am missing? 

[Justin Evans]

Everybody has their own way of making that leap, the key is finding your strength. That might sound generic so I will give you an example.

I grew up with my mom teaching me how to move and create energy in my body when I was young. Regardless of whether that was something real or just my imagination, I got really good at doing it, and it became something I did subconsciously. It turns out through habit, I started doing it in my dreams, and your willpower can manipulate reality in your dreams.

Fast forwarding to college, I did so much meditation and mindfulness that I started doing it accidentally in my dreams which triggered awakenings. This is very different than lucid dreaming because in lucid dreams you know you are dreaming. Instead, you sincerely believe it is reality and you still question it with your meditation and will. Doing this along with building a practice of surrendering your fears away in real life can make you surrender fears in your dreams (as fears are oftentimes what makes a dream more solid and real, letting that go makes the dream melt away.)

Why am I talking about this? It helped me realize that you won't always know the exact steps to getting awakenings and to deeper embody what you already know. It is best to plan your growth on grounded things that you can use every day both awake and asleep such as learning to let go of fear, becoming more courageous, letting go of comfort, practicing will power as if you can improve the outcome of your life solely through that. 

 

And that these skills build up in unexpected payoffs and events based on your strengths and when you need it the most. Hope this helps!

Edited July 19, 2020 by Justin Evans
Adding more clarification

[allislove]

Yes, meditation is amazing tool, so I suggest to continue. Also, there are a bunch of other tools which you can explore.
Have you watched Leo's videos? Leo covered the other tools for spiritual growth very well.

[Chilli]

@Justin Evans This is very useful. I had this very powerful spiritual experience once where I unidentified with all experience from losing at chess. I have a deep passion for the game and losing so badly one time affected my ego to the point where I completely broke out of any identification. It's this kind on spiritual experience you mean, right?

[Chilli]

@allislove I've watched all Leo's videos and apply all concepts and practices, like open-mindedness, forgiveness, self inquiry etc. 

 What I think I'll do is try to get more out of my self inquiry sessions. Maybe that will help.

[allislove]

@Chilli

Cool, seems like you know what to do.

I can't tell you what to do since everyone has a unique path. 
What I can tell for sure − listen to your heart, to your intuition. 
If doing self-inquiry feels good to you − do it. Enjoy  

[Chilli]

@allislove Thanks for the help.

[allislove]

@Chilli ?❤️