Am I Being Brainwashed?

[electroBeam]

Hi guys,

So I'm originally a hyper rational, new athiest patriot who knows all of the religious counter arguments off by heart. 

As a new initiative to become opened minded(to the point where I am willing to adopt Christianity) I decided to go to HillSong Church, and have been for the last 6 weeks.

At the beginning, the preacher seemed to(from my perspective) conjecture lofty motivation porn, supported by cherry picked, illogical, and non sensical quotes from the Bible, and I would uncomfortably watch everyone get real deeply connected to the words. Richard Dawkin's counter arguments, ripping apart every religious sentence spoke, and my fear of giving into guillibility, made sure I felt out of place within church. 

Until recently.

 I had an experience of the ox's tale(which I'll leave 'caught a glimpse' to explain), and concerningly, for the last 2 sunday nights, I've found myself acting like my seemingly sucked in, brainwashed Christian colleagues who really get deep into the words of the songs and the preacher. I now agree with the preachers!

Like today, they quoted "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." and I connected so deeply to that quote today because it reminded me of how deep reality accepted and loved itself in my meditation experience.

Even this quote, "We are being renewed day by day.So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” -> which I once would state is stupid and illogical, now after 6 weeks of Christianity makes perfect sense to me. what is unseen(higher self) IS eternal! that's why you have to go into deep meditation to find it! And what is seen is temporary, our world around us is TEMPORARY!

And how god is our freedom(when the ego revealed its true nature; it reveal that IT was the cause of oppresion within my awareness

And how they talk about how we need to surrender to god... after that meditation experience, seeing the ego reveal its true illusory nature, and the feeling of just observing an all knowing, all powerful reality consume it, just made me want to surrender to reality so much. Reality knows what 'I' want, way more than 'I' do.

There's so much wisdom in the Bible, that while arguing with Christians, I have overlooked!

I don't know what's happening to me, how can someone who was apart of the athiest movement fall into the hands of HillSong Church so easily? Are HillSong just that good at persuading people to believe in god? Or is my meditation just having some weird side effects that will pass in time? I'm so scared that I'm being brainwashed, I'm well aware of the abilities of the church to brainwash people, I don't want to end up that gullible, but at the same time I'm feeling a deep connection with Christianity.... even writing that just gives me shivers, after being influenced by so many church warning athiests around me... Has the church officially fucked my brain??

 

Edited July 31, 2016 by electroBeam

[SaynotoKlaus]

 Science has proved that our minds are much more vulnerable that we like to think. Constantly exposing yourself to a certain environment and language will definitely affect you in a way or another.

 You seem to think that the christian doctrine might be true because it fits with the buddhist one. But are you really sure that the buddhist stories are true in the first place? I mean you also exposed yourself a lot to the buddhist doctrine too ( i know this because i'm a wizard). Also just because some things the preacher says seem true , don't forget to also take into account all the bullshit which you know it's not true. People are prone to judging something as 100% true once they see a couple of pieces of evidence that might prove this is the case , even though before they saw 8 that disproved it.

Did you notice how religious texts (both christian and buddhist) , even though they claim to tell the ultimate truth , they are pretty abstract and open to loose interpretation ? I mean you might think the words mean a certain thing , which you kinda want it to be true , while the persons next to you hear whatever they want.

My suggestion is to do your research on christianity from a neutral perspective , if you really want the truth. As long as you keep going to the church you are not neutral. Maybe you could do this if you also go as often to atheist meetings.

 

Edited July 31, 2016 by SaynotoKlaus

[BHL_20]

@electroBeam I don't think you are being indoctrinated because you are not actually thinking the same way as the other people in the church. You are not thinking the way they may want you to think. Most Christians people have a very literal  understanding of the Bible. When they talk about the "eternal" they imagine a life after death, similiar in some ways to this one, but full of contentment and joy. Meanwhile you are trying to connect to that eternal joy here and now through meditation.

[Saarah]

@electroBeam there's videos on actualized.org about religion, it will give you an  insight into what religion is and it will explain to you why you feel this connection with the Bible, though it could have been with any of the religions, you're not being brainwashed, you're just understanding the words in their real meaning and not the meaning that regular Christians take from it 

[electroBeam]

@SaynotoKlaus not quite Buddhism but Leoism.

I tried going to buddhist meetings, but they were disappointingly BS too.

I dont really want to read the bible though, because church has gotten me into the rythmn of starting to interpret things from it, and my work in meditation has gotten me into the rythmn of denying rationalism. Do you think i should keep going to church? Or stop before my mind gets indoctrinated?

@BHL_20 ok thanks for the suggestion

@Saarah Oh wow theres videos on this, i will

Edited July 31, 2016 by electroBeam

[WelcometoReality]

@electroBeam You are starting to see through your own beliefs thanks to the glimpse you had. Truth is not as black and white as you thought it was is it?

I have also been a blind rationalist that believed all religions only was a tool too control the crowd. Getting a glimpse makes you see that religion tries to point to the truth just as much as science does, they both have there place in the world and from past experiences you can see that too.

If you start to see christianity AS the truth instead of POINTING to the truth, I'd get the hell out of there. But that is not what I'm sensing from what you've written. Your mind is just trying to make a problem out it.