Career Advice Needed

[soniadoll_]

I am starting to feel a conflict in deciding my career path. After going through an abusive relationship I had the mindset of wanting to help women in need by working in the hairstyling industry. Now that I am close to finishing with my cosmetology schooling, I'm starting to realize hidden passion for wanting to work on men's haircuts more than women. The thought of wanting to cut men's hair was never something I had considered as an option because I thought that all men were my abuser in some way, if that makes any sense. This is something hard for me to accept that my reasons for going to school is now suddenly changing. I worry that I am loosing focus on what I wanted to do at one point in my life, but now I question myself, is that something you want to do? Why am I limiting myself to only women clients, because of fear of men? I feel almost pressured sometimes by my own thoughts telling me that I should only focus on one thing. I'm sure all of this sounds so silly, and petty but I'd really appreciate a different point of view.

[Elton]

@soniadoll_ if cutting hair is what you’re passionate about then why discriminate?  

[anthonyrivest]

Hi Sonia, what I see here is that you have a conflict between what your heart truly wants and what you fear dictates you from your emotional baggage. People normally attract "abusive" relationships to them when they are disempowered in multiple spheres of their life. You attract a violent partner so you can one day step up to your true strength, and say : "Enough is enough!" , becoming the independent woman that you deserve to be. 

I've worked with abused women in the past and they told me that the boyfriend was reflecting the inner "beating up" they said to themselves every day. 

You have no need to be ashamed of your hidden passion to cut men's hair. Realize that saying that all men are abuser is a very strong label. I understand you suffered in the past, but I am sure you already know that the Truth is not the black and white labels we put on people.

Take the time to be grateful for all the other masculine figures you have right now in your life or had in the past. Think about the beautiful service you can offer to all those men who take care of their families, or elderly men who just want to look great. 

In my opinion, focusing on One Thing is wise, but don't you think cutting hair is your one thing?  Isn't it very limiting in career fulfillment and financial abundance to only provide value to one gender? I think you would honour your True Self by diving right into it and act even if you doubt. 

 

[Orange]

You have an awareness of your fear, thats +10 golden points for you already. 

But the emotional baggage you carry ( the past abusive relationship) is putting you in a limited space, whereas the contrary (dropping the luggage on the side of the road,  it's too heavy and cumbersome anyway) would be more freedom. 

As you may know already reality comes in every shade of colour, maybe you can allow yourself to see other colours of men? We are all unique, it is not necessary to make generalisations..and I need to remind myself of this also

 

 

[soniadoll_]

@Orange Thank you so much for your reply. I was feeling overwhelmed because I felt like my post didn't explain how I feel and I couldn't edit it the right way either. I'm so exited to let go of all the baggage. Honestly, with just with your words, I feel so much better and I see now how I can do anything, there really is no limitation. Honestly, I am so annoyed of this whole past relationship story on repeat in my mind. Its held me back so much, I'm so ready to toss that luggage out once and for all, and thank you for reminding me that I have that choice. Thank you so much.

[Orange]

@soniadoll_ toss it away my dear, toss it and now you can welcome a new life with ligther wings. Ironically that's how I feel ever time I come out of a haircut! New hair, new beginning;  Imagine how many people you could give this feeling to I wish you all the best 

[MIARIVEL]

@soniadoll_ Baby girl, life is too short to let fear hold you back from anything amazing you are capable of. I understand the fear, I do. I was once in an abusive relationship and it took me a very long time to even be able to trust any man again. I changed towards men for a long time but when I took time to find myself, what makes me happy, what are my dreams and passions - when I found the answer to all of this, I knew I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way. I as with you deserve to be happy and deserve the very best that life has to give us; and only we can can make our future into something beautiful. So take a leap of faith and believe in yourself and do whatever it is that makes you happy. 

[soniadoll_]

@MIA.RIVEL Thank you so much! I am so exited because I know now that anything is possible and I feel so blessed to have you and others on this forum that help me think outside the box I've put myself in. I love you all so much.