People SD green and above, how do you educate your children?

[Tanster]

I understand that Leo advised people not to tie themselves down with commitments while you are self-actualizing or pursuing your life purpose and the majority of people in the forum are conscious enough to not have children because their culture tells them to do so or they want a few mini-mes running around. So I realize that most people here don`t have children and some maybe anti-natalists. With all the f-up shit going on in the world right now, it may be argued that it is immoral to bring a conscious being into this world. But babies are still being born and some of you may already have children. So my question is, how do you educate your young if you don`t agree with the blue/orange educational system?

Do you home school them?

If you don`t have the time, what is the solution? Do you let them go to a normal school and educate them about green and yellow stuff on the weekends?

Have you thought of maybe moving to a more liberal area or maybe even another country in Scandinavia where there are green schools for children?

Do you employ special educators, people with the knowledge of Leo and the mods to tutor your children?

The reason I`m asking is because I`m visioning being a part of green/yellow education as my life purpose. I believe we all come across self-actualization and big picture understanding in our 20s, 30s. I know there are some teenagers here but it still takes a lot of work to deprogram ourselves of all the dogma and devilry our formal education "bestowed" upon us. I believe we all wish we learned the things being talked about here is grade school.

I know that Leo in the past few months has expressed his optimism about a future of more inclusivity, love and understanding despite all the back lash happening at the moment. That the things being talked about here will be taught in grade school hundred of years into the future. Still, what are the steps we can do today to make that happen as soon as possible?

I believe that there are young green/yellow people our there who are exposed to higher consciousness teachings from a very young age. Were you home schooled like the kids from Captain Fantastic or were you lucky enough to receive formal Green/Yellow education?

 

[soos_mite_ah]

Ok I have wondered the same thing tbh. Here is what I think. I know this is long but I really contemplated about this in the past because if I choose to have kids, I want them to have an easier time developing than I did with my parents. 

You don't have to necessarily movie to a Scandanavian country to raise your kid in a stage green/yellow way. I think what you do inside your house is incredibly important. If anything, I think it's a good idea for kids to witness how different people from the spiral act to sharpen their critical thinking skills. From personal experience, my home life was pretty orange/blue, my neighborhood was green, and I went on many trips to India to visit family, many of whom who are very solidly blue. So i was surrounded by numerous perspectives. My dad, whom I will credit to helping me move up the spiral, helped me hone in my critical thinking skills to evaluate how each of these perspectives compare and work with each other even though neither one of us were aware of Spiral dynamics at the time.

Even though my dad was very blue and orange, he still had a little bit of green and a slight bit of yellow in him.  It was just enough to spark something in me. I would say that if you are pretty well integrated to green or higher, it would be easier to guide your child towards critical thinking rather than solely relying on obedience like blue or orange might (blue is largely dogmatic while orange is oriented around a hierarchy). 

So parenting should be focused on building and developing critical thinking skills so one would be prepared to handle the adult world by him/herself and deal with any problems that might come up. 

That said, I think it's also important to incorporate the lower stages in a healthy way so that the kid can integrate all of the colors. This would be a more yellow approach because while it doesn't see a false equivalency with how high or low a color is, it sees the value of each one of them as a building block. Beige is simply integrated by innate survival mechanisms, so that is basically providing for your kid. Purple is building a bond with the kid when they are still a child so that they have a healthy attachment style to their family/tribe. I remember seeing else where on this forum where people asked if it's possible to skip stages. I think everyone does go through all the stages. Many of us went through Beige to Red at an early age in a healthy way so it feels like we skipped it if that makes sense.  

Red is the more ego-centric stage which starts at around age 2 ish (i gotta refer back to developmental psych so i may not know the specifics but it starts young). Egos at this stage are still very important in developing a healthy sense of self. After all, to transcend the ego, one needs to have a well integrated ego in the first place. Around this time and onward, i think its important to build a healthy sense of self with positive reinforcement and a lot of encouragement (telling your child he/she is valued, loved, beautiful, smart etc.). This is important in combating future negative beliefs. 

To pass this stage on to stage blue, it's important to have solid boundaries with the kid (i.e. no hitting, no screaming, no *insert destructive thing that small children tend to do). This incorporates a sense of discipline  in the child in a firm way. The more efficiently stage red and blue are integrated, the faster you can delve into additional spiral stages. Blue/Red should be stages, not what you do permanently going forward so even though i am saying firm boundaries are important to have, i don't mean indoctrinate your kid into a religion or tell your teenager that they can't to xyz because "you said so" etc. 

If this is done right, the kid can probably get into orange and green pretty early (like 6 or 7). I think orange can be integrated by having chores, encouraging productivity in school, learning to be assertive/ standing up for you self etc and really building good habits that will aid in their success going forward. Also, here I think it's important to reduce the "because I said so" attitude as much as possible and instead when enforcing rules, explain to your kids the logic behind the rules. I think at a certain stage it is counter productive to be authoritarian to a kid because then they'll start to rebel often because the rules don't make sense to them. This especially happens with the "because i said so" attitude because firstly it is condescending (not good for establishing open communication, trust, or credibility), and second, at around stage orange, kids will question their parents not necessary in an argumentative way but to understand. As the parent it is important to back those claims up with some sound answers instead of getting your ego into a twist and accusing them of arguing and "talking back". This aids in their critical thinking skills and even if they don't follow what they said, you still planted the seed of what to expect so they can learn by making their own mistakes.   

Green, i think can be introduced as early as 5 or so depending on the situation. For example, if your kid comes up to you at age 5 asking you "where do babies come from" you can take a stage green approach and explain how the sperm meets the egg and the baby form in the womb (instead of going into how sex works since that may not be age appropriate and most kids aren't even thinking in that train of thought). 

Speaking of which, green parenting is very positive, encouraging of different cultures, etc. Some ways to integrate green is encouraging self love, having an open dialog about sex in age appropriate ways, critiquing things in the media (like watching TV with your kid and asking them about what they saw and how it relates to treating other people well), encouraging boundaries for privacy and bodily autonomy (praising your kid when they tell an adult that they aren't comfortable with hugs and they let that adult know for example), regulating emotions effectively yet not suppressing them. Encourage them to empathize with other people and see their perspectives and emotions when they get in trouble with others. Create a space where they can open up and vulnerable about their lives with you so that you can guide them through life instead of being like an authoritarian dictator. That also means being attuned with their mental health and how they are coping with the world around them. Those are some ways but im pretty sure there is so much more. Avoid stigmatizing things and creating taboos as they can create shadows in your kids. 

As far as yellow goes, it comes down to judging where your kid is in the spiral and adjusting how you parent to integrate the previous stages accordingly. It comes down to what is developmentally good for the child in the long run so that they can be functioning adults. Once the other stages are exhausted and integrated efficiently, stage yellow shouldn't be too hard to reach. Often times, in respective of my personal journey, I find that an effective way to move from green to yellow is to integrate anything you might be missing from the lower stages to where you can see the healthy use for each of them. Another way is to encourage thinking about how things work systemically and some of the short comings of green. To do all of this effectively, the child needs to move through each stage at their own pace so results can vary depending on individual circumstances.

Finally, when the kid has a healthy ego with minimum shadows and can see how relative different perspectives are, they can transcend that and move into turquoise. Idk how that would turn out but i think it's good to drop hints about things like nonduality etc. in passing so that the seeds are planted and the kid can explore them at their own pace. 

 

Edited July 21, 2020 by soos_mite_ah

[soos_mite_ah]

Also I thought this was a very cute, wholesome, higher consciousness way of dealing with kids ☺️

[Amit]

@soos_mite_ah I've 2 small cousins around the age of 4 and 8. I am going home and will live with them now, I was worried that how will I handle them, your comment was great and gave me a specific direction around it, thanks, also we have leo's how to raise higher conscious children.. It would be great to watch that  too... Haha

[Carl-Richard]

I'm a zoomer so take this with a grain of salt. In my opinion, early stages of education is more about socialization than anything else. If you don't let your kids hang out with other kids at their age, you can forget about ever teaching them the pitfalls of blue/orange. Developing an understanding of social clues, empathy, the distinction between play and violence is the foundation of all growth.

Let them go to school, let them socialize with other kids, and most importantly don't force green values on them too early, because that will also interfere with their development. They have to grow to green themselves. All you have to do is help them "max out" their current stage and grow to the next stage on their own. 

Young kids mainly inhabit stage red and need a healthy dose of blue in order to not become ruthless sociopaths. If they do something wrong, make them know that in a clear way. Don't brush it off like "hahaha you know you can't do that ). Children are clueless. Once they know how to behave, only then they can start moving towards orange and green.

[Tanster]

@Amit He did have a video about raising kids, totally forgot that. 

[Tanster]

@soos_mite_ah Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I believe the people in this forum will have a version of how they integrate SD into the education of their own children. It`s just that we are a small number compare to the blue and orange parents out there who send their kids to school so that they can go to work. My questions fall along the lines of helping other people`s kids, who I believe have hints of green and yellow in them (I remember crying when I was around 5 seeing a beggar in the street) but did not have the opportunity to actualize those stages. Maybe their parents or schools tell them to study hard so they can go to college so they don`t end up in the streets when they`re older. What can teachers, educators or legislators do to help shift schools from orange/blue to green and above so those kids don`t get left behind?

Another aspect is that kids are social creatures and very malleable so they are gonna learn from peers at school and risk falling down the spiral if not enough kids are in the same stage. I suppose they need long-lasting "allies" from a very young age, comrades to ward off the devilry of the lower stages so they don`t have to wait till college to start something significant.    

It`s a tough ask so I don`t expect straight forward answers.    

Edited July 22, 2020 by Tanster

[soos_mite_ah]

@Tanster  I can't say I have all the answers but moving kids up the spiral would mainly have to do with integrating the different colors. A lot of it has to do with parents raising their kids but similar tactics can be used when it comes to teaching as well I suppose. 

Overall, i think the theme would be the same: the focus on critical thinking. Instead of like most schools that make you memorize a bunch of facts like "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell," it's important for kids to know how to apply the knowledge that they are being given.  Instead of hoarding information it should be about giving them the tools to analyze what is happening in the world. 

One thing that I would credit to really shifting my consciousness is when my music teacher in the 8th grade told my class something along the lines of "hey, what you're learning in school whether it is about music, science, history, whatever you're going to forget 90% of what you learn and it isn't going to matter. What matters is that you learn how to learn and take in information. " She went on this whole thing of how music helps you develop your brain and cognitive functioning, how science and math helps you be more logical and methodological, how history classes teach you to see the past as a bunch of case studies that indicate the patterns of present day thinking etc. It changed the way I looked at different subjects. 

Even though I am terrible at most science subjects, because of the approach to critical thinking i took when studying, I may not remember everything  or know the nuances in scientific studies but I do know enough to sense bs claims when i encounter them (flat earthers, climate change deniers, how its okay to not go without a mask amidst a pandemic because its a hoax  etc.) 

When it came to history, some of the history classes i hated the most involved straight memorization (what year did ___ happen, who was the general in ____ war ). Some of the history classes I did enjoy the most  involved more critical thinking (how did this legislation impact ______. What does the power structure here say about the narrative in question? This is a concept/ theme that carries out in this time period and set the foundation for today etc) 

With English classes, learning how to communicate and analyze different points of view  in literature is more important than  memorizing passages from historically significant authors for instance. 

I could go on and on about other subjects but i guess my point is knowing to apply knowledge to create a tool kit of ideas > straight memorization. Apart form spiral dynamics, regardless of which stage a kid might be it, giving them the tools to progress on their own is key. It isn't always what material is being taught rather it is how it is being taught.

Also, when teaching critical thinking I think it's also important for educators to deeply understand that kids aren't stupid and helpless. Sometimes I can see how it might feel that way but it often has to do with a lack of life experiences. Most kids i feel have the potential or have hints of green and yellow in them but they don't always come out because of their current situation (i.e. an ineffective education system that does not hone in their capabilities). It's kind of like a gene that hasn't been activated yet. A lot of kids have the ability to be compassionate and empathetic such as your example with the beggar and they have the ability to be imaginative for different systems, even if they aren't educated on all of the factors yet, because they have yet to become cynical with age. And to avoid this cynicism from the education system, it's important for teachers to not talk down on them and push a cynical attitude as well. 

As far as systemic changes, that would depend on where you're from. I know in the U.S. there is standardize testing. It irritates all of the students and stresses out teachers because funding is dependent on it. This is especially annoying when it comes to lower income areas because then all of the teachers get fixated on making sure everyone does well for a once a year exam so that the school won't lose funding than actually teaching the course. I remember being taught how to take a multiple choice exam for an English class for most of high school and then towards the end of the year, once testing was over, it felt like we were actually learning something.  It was kinda sad. I couldn't help but wonder how much we could have learned delved into if we didn't have this stupid testing where 75% of our lessons for the year revolved around learning to eliminate answers in a multiple choice exam. 

Also availability of proper mental health care is also important in schools because of the backgrounds kids come from (like having an actual therapist in addition to a counselor). I remember once I was having an existential crisis when i was 16 and because i couldn't get therapy, i went to the school counselor. She tried to help but i quickly realized that she is probably wasn't the best person to go to since it felt like I was talking to a pinterst board that spit out random cliche quotes like ~follow your heart~ ~live laugh love~ lmaoo. It felt ineffective and I could see why people might be reluctant to get professional help with lackluster experiences such as these. If you come from a toxic, lower consciousness household, mental health is a huge must.  That could possibly help kids from getting emotionally left behind and give them the tools of conflict resolution in their friend groups for instance. 

[soos_mite_ah]

Also i just remembered that Leo does talk about this in this video. 

He talks about education specifically from the 1 hour 45 min mark to the 2 hour 10 minute mark.