Confused about Life Purpose

[Marianitozz]

I am a musician, until 2-3 years i was very passionate about my craft, i was spending all my free time bulding it and after I start to learn personal development/spirituality, my craft seemed so selfish and weak that I stopped, thinking that in 10 years for example i would be stuck in a low conciousness entertainment band that don't contribute very much at raising the conciousness of my audience. now I want to shoot delopmental videos, but in a sense i miss my old purpose. Is this just an ego backlash? 

[Mu_]

30 minutes ago, Marianitozz said:

I am a musician, until 2-3 years i was very passionate about my craft, i was spending all my free time bulding it and after I start to learn personal development/spirituality, my craft seemed so selfish and weak that I stopped, thinking that in 10 years for example i would be stuck in a low conciousness entertainment band that don't contribute very much at raising the conciousness of my audience. now I want to shoot delopmental videos, but in a sense i miss my old purpose. Is this just an ego backlash? 

There are plenty of great musician that raise consciousness or share views that help people move through pain and suffering.  If thats your passion, I'd stick with it.  And since you've been learning and doing developmental video's, I see no reason why the two couldn't overlap if you wanted to do both.

[Rasheed]

I think, you can inspire people, and influence them positively while following your passion, which in your case is music. When someone inspires you to be more passionate, and do something great, they basically made you more aware and conscious. If musicians, athletes, actors or any profession like that could not inspire people, I don’t know what can...

[Guest SirVladimir]

@Marianitozz Hey, fellow artist! Listen up. I know this will take someone who's also a creator to answer. I went through the same process back in 2017-2019. Imagine a wave for me. Will you, please? Imagine a bell curve with only one hill in the middle.

At first, you practice your craft without a second thought about selfishness and selflessness. Ignorance is bliss, and therefore you compose music or do writing in my case, just for the sake of it (assuming you did.) The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top.  Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it?

Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it.  I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist. 

[Marianitozz]

 

 

18 hours ago, SirVladimir said:

The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top.  Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it?

Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it.  I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist. 

Thank you very much for your reply, the trick is how you know when you got to move on at a new passion? and when you decieve your self from your true passion. Spirituality is like a curse and a trasure in the same time, you are right. The hill is very good example of how the things unfolded for me. I will continue to practice without expectations just sharing my skill for it's own sake and see where it leads.

[Jacob Morres]

17 minutes ago, Marianitozz said:

Thank you very much for your reply, the trick is how you know when you got to move on at a new passion? and when you decieve your self from your true passion. Spirituality is like a curse and a trasure in the same time, you are right. The hill is very good example of how the things unfolded for me. I will continue to practice without expectations just sharing my skill for it's own sake and see where it leads.

this is what I wanted to tell you 

IME i've been caught in the trap of not doing things "cuz low consciousness" ... but that has to arise out of wisdom, not moralization. because then you're denying yourself of something you found valuable. it can actually be counterproductive sometimes to cut out low consciousness activities. we engage in them cuz of the value it provides and if we cut if off, that thing creates a hole in our heart that we may not be ready for 

edit: my answer does not seem to encompass but i hope it helps

Edited July 19, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Marianitozz]

On 18.07.2020 at 0:37 AM, Mu_ said:

There are plenty of great musician that raise consciousness or share views that help people move through pain and suffering.  If thats your passion, I'd stick with it.  And since you've been learning and doing developmental video's, I see no reason why the  couldn't overlap if you wanted to do both.

Yes, I will stick with both for a period and see where it leads. Thank you!

[Guest SirVladimir]

1 hour ago, Marianitozz said:

Thank you very much for your reply, the trick is how you know when you got to move on at a new passion? and when you decieve your self from your true passion. Spirituality is like a curse and a trasure in the same time, you are right. The hill is very good example of how the things unfolded for me. I will continue to practice without expectations just sharing my skill for it's own sake and see where it leads.

The trick is, you tricked yourself. The trick is the trickster deceiving itself!  Deep down you know who you are, so let it be natural. Whatever passion you are seeking, you already have. It's not a passion of some future you, of someone else. It's buried within you -- now. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be seeking it! That's the point. Being authentic is the easiest thing in the world, yet seems very hard when you're not. True spirituality will blow your mind and open your heart. Taking the hill route is, as you see, necessary in this case. It's sort of like getting to the truth through knowing what it's not. Through experiencing the traps first. Thinking about spirituality is one of them you'll meet on the hill.

 

[Rasheed]

22 hours ago, SirVladimir said:

@Marianitozz Hey, fellow artist! Listen up. I know this will take someone who's also a creator to answer. I went through the same process back in 2017-2019. Imagine a wave for me. Will you, please? Imagine a bell curve with only one hill in the middle.

At first, you practice your craft without a second thought about selfishness and selflessness. Ignorance is bliss, and therefore you compose music or do writing in my case, just for the sake of it (assuming you did.) The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top.  Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it?

Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it.  I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist. 

Amazing answer. Helped me too.

[Espaim]

On 18/07/2020 at 7:19 AM, SirVladimir said:

@Marianitozz Hey, fellow artist! Listen up. I know this will take someone who's also a creator to answer. I went through the same process back in 2017-2019. Imagine a wave for me. Will you, please? Imagine a bell curve with only one hill in the middle.

At first, you practice your craft without a second thought about selfishness and selflessness. Ignorance is bliss, and therefore you compose music or do writing in my case, just for the sake of it (assuming you did.) The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top.  Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it?

Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it.  I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist. 

Holy shit. Now that's inspiring.

[Guest SirVladimir]

On 7/26/2020 at 11:44 PM, Espaim said:

Holy shit. Now that's inspiring.

You are an infinitely intelligent temple of beauty inspiring itself. Congratulations. I'm just a random avatar reminding you.