What are my thoughts?

[Nahm]

55 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

Well im making lots of assumptions about reality and people, i am mostly assuming the worst, which feels true,

No it doesn’t. 

55 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

there is lots of negativity in people and me.

No there isn’t. 

55 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

I really cant see how can i stop assuming the negative, i wish i could..

 Yes you can. 

[Nemo28]

10 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

your attention is the invitation for them. take away the attention and the thoughts will stop to come.

Thank you, this is exactly what i needed to hear! Indeed its all about attention. But why do i find to be so attracted to negativity..does embracing it makes one stronger? Cause throughout my life its what i always have seeked..

12 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

just like you cannot switch off the sound from coming into your ears

Sometimes this happens automatically, when i listen to Alan Watts, i just lose all my hearing and only aware of my being, its pretty nice state, but it happens so rarely ..

[Nemo28]

@Nahm

2 minutes ago, Nahm said:

No it doesn’t.

it does, its my dirrect experience, i cant argue with that now can i ?  It feels super true. Its like looking t stars outside or the moon.

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

there is lots of negativity in people and me.

again my dirrect experience contradicts this..

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Yes you can. 

by shifting my attention to something else as @SoonHei suggested it ? 

[JayG84]

7 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

it does, its my dirrect experience, i cant argue with that now can i ?  It feels super true. Its like looking t stars outside or the moon.

That is not your direct experience. It is a filtered experience. It's filtered through the story of you. Look deeper. Your ego won't want to look, but you have to look. It won't be easy, but that's how you know you're looking in the right place.

[Nemo28]

2 minutes ago, JayG84 said:

That is not your direct experience. It is a filtered experience. It's filtered through the story of you. Look deeper. Your ego won't want to look, but you have to look. It won't be easy, but that's how you know you're looking in the right place.

Well as i said I only have assumptions. Everyone is assuming one thing or the other, for some reason i go into negativities which is a perspective one could take, since there are only perspectives. For exmple..I see a friend who today is avoiding me. This makes me assume the worst, which is she/he hates me probably, instead of rejecting this i accept this, forgive and transform it into something more positive. Ofc i could have made better story, like saying, "she/he might have difficulties in personal life and is in pain so  she/he doesnt want to have any social interactions". But i choose the negative interpretation, i dont know why, maybe to grow  in myself more love..hmm

[JayG84]

1 minute ago, Nemo28 said:

Well as i said I only have assumptions. Everyone is assuming one thing or the other, for some reason i go into negativities which is a perspective one could take, since there are only perspectives. For exmple..I see a friend who today is avoiding me. This makes me assume the worst, which is she/he hates me probably, instead of rejecting this i accept this, forgive and transform it into something more positive. Ofc i could have made better story, like saying, "she/he might have difficulties in personal life and is in pain so  she/he doesnt want to have any social interactions". But i choose the negative interpretation, i dont know why, maybe to grow  in myself more love..hmm

Exactly, we are nothing but perspective. No perspective is the right one. Your perspective is the one you choose to put on it and believe. The Truth is that there is no true perspective. That's the only true perspective there is. So how can you be attached to any outcome when the outcome of whether your friend wants to hang out is a coin flip. You have no idea what their perspective is. It's limitless possibilities for why they don't feel like it, most of which have nothing to do with you. The only thing you have to realize is that you're looking for love, acceptance, and understanding from this person. Give it to yourself. You are all you need right now, you're perfect in this moment here. You dont need anything more. ?

[SoonHei]

30 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

.does embracing it makes one stronger? Cause throughout my life its what i always have seeked..

yes. embracing and fully accepting yourself. accepting the circumstance... the situation. 

only after accepting it totally and not being in conflict with it can you take any action correctly to change it. 

as they say, "don't cry over spilled milk" meaning... accept that it has spilled. and just wipe it clean.

accept yourself. acknowledge the facts. embrace it. be whole and then you've got all the power and energy to take action as required. 

33 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

why do i find to be so attracted to negativity

because it what keeps the cycle of negativity alive. it draws itself into it and keeps it going as long as your attention is giving it power. like a fan turning. pull the plug and it won't stop right away but will come to a slow but sure stop. that's what you'll notice. and it stops sooner and quicker the more you make the conscious effort to watch the thoughts and scroll past them instead of clicking them.

[Nemo28]

15 minutes ago, JayG84 said:

The only thing you have to realize is that you're looking for love, acceptance, and understanding from this person.

Its what everyone is looking for right? I want to give it to everyone, but certain thoughts doesnt allow me. For example: " oh sure you want to accept her, but she might think you are interested in her sexually, which you are not, so if you show her love that will create misunderstandings and reasons for hate, cause she only wants romantic love. "   

[Nemo28]

14 minutes ago, SoonHei said:

and it stops sooner and quicker the more you make the conscious effort to watch the thoughts and scroll past them instead of clicking them.

But if i want to accept everything about me i also need to accept the negativity i feel and think, and be okay with it, but its sometimes overwhelming, i know im stuck in this negativity, it just feels the most realest thing thus more true (relatively speaking) . "I mean if i can be okay with embracing suffering then im very powerful and loving"" thats my thought process.  Seems im even enjoying those thoughts cause it makes me feel superior for being able to endure. 

[TripleFly]

 

1 hour ago, Nemo28 said:

But if i want to accept everything about me i also need to accept the negativity i feel and think, and be okay with it, but its sometimes overwhelming, i know im stuck in this negativity, it just feels the most realest thing thus more true (relatively speaking) . "I mean if i can be okay with embracing suffering then im very powerful and loving"" thats my thought process.  Seems im even enjoying those thoughts cause it makes me feel superior for being able to endure. 

Yes!!!! a 100 times exactly accurate! 

I get strongly the energetically-sensitive-being vibes from you... Empath? Sensitive? Heart? It doesn't have to have always been like that, maybe it just dawned on you at some point not so long ago.

I cannot stress enough how important SELF_LOVE is for me. Otherwise I can't talk to others. I can't be myself. I don't believe in myself. In fact I rather not exist so not to take the breath or attention away from more important things. Everything is so sacred and divine, and I am this little being overwhelmed by my own sensitivity and a fear to somehow hurt, damage, or cause some sort of dissonance to other people.

I have to accept all the parts of me that feel ashamed, resentful, scared, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, tragic... Love them all!!! In fact you could do Leo's self-love exercise, which is: Write down all the ways in which you LACK self-love, in which you don't love yourself. And then decide to love all of it!!! 

But it doesn't work like that exactly, it gave me a powerful experience of pure PRESENCE. Because when you do this exercise you learn to BE with a BOMBARDMENT of emotions(If you do it properly, intensively,like an essay) which cultivates, presence  But for me it didn't do much more than raise the awareness. 

So what now I asked myself. Holy fucking shit how fucked up am I!??!?!? I RAISED my AWARNESS, but I am still not happy I am still FUCKED with myself!!!!

You really have to cultivate strong LOVE. I have litearlly a timer in my heart that offers me, freely, no matter if I did good or not. I love you. And it is transforming the tecktonic plates of my reality. I don't need to do any spiritual work actually, If I just love myself, EVERYTHING COMES TO ME!!! I HAVE IT ALL.

I highly recommend you check out Matt Kahn, he is an enlightened being that delivers the heart-centered message. And along the way debunks a lot of the spiritual traps that people like US tend to fall into. 

I have the highest of love to you.

Edited July 17, 2020 by TripleFly

[Nemo28]

@TripleFly

27 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

I get strongly the energetically-sensitive-being vibes from you... Empath? Sensitive? Heart? It doesn't have to have always been like that, maybe it just dawned on you at some point not so long ago.

Yes, i suppose i am those things or rather they are in me. I see my sensitivity as challange to how much i can accept everything. During 1-2 years my state of being has tranformed from making life all about me to making it all about "us". What i see in myself is desire to transmute my negative thoughts, feelings into positive expressions that would benefit all. I have to say ayahuasca has helped me a lot. It literally opened my hearth. 

 

33 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

I cannot stress enough how important SELF_LOVE is for me.

 

Yes, totally agree. When i started loving myself everything changed, its still changing. Indeed its the ultimate teaching. And i struggle with that too, insted of feeling greatful i feel guilty for having so much blessings..Need to practice graditude. 

35 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

I have to accept all the parts of me that feel ashamed, resentful, scared, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, tragic... Love them all!!! In fact you could do Leo's self-love exercise, which is: Write down all the ways in which you LACK self-love, in which you don't love yourself. And then decide to love all of it!!! 

This was the message from my recent ayahuasca trips, "To love everything, even though you know you cant, but you do it anyway". It was my dying wish..

 

Well since the very begining i was overwhelmed by the negativity of my own mind, this has stunded my normal development of consciousness, as i couldnt process my emotions and got trapped in my own desstructive mind. Well anyhow i have made enormous progress these recent years. I have escaped my mind and now exist as pure being, ofc the negativity is still there (albeit at very low lvls compared to my past situation). What i do is i assume the worst and with open hearth accept it and transform it into love. I bless all people and i wish them happieness. This is my practice. ]

 

Highest love to you my friend as well! <3 Love, love, love..lets drown ourselves in it ^^ 

[VeganAwake]

16 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

@VeganAwake wow thanks for reminding this again. Yeah I am just a label, I can't do anything really, things just happening (but it's so convincing I am doing it). But it's weird how when you realize this the behavior changes having less fear and more joy, it's as if "you" did something, or it just happened hmm..

Yes the sense of self cannot conceive of its own unreality. 

Yes self-centered activity/egoic self agenda decreases greatly and there's a deep relaxation within the body/mind. 

Yes it's super strange it's like something that wasn't real dies LOL... hence why it's called an illusion. It's not logical in any way. 

[Artsu]

On 16/07/2020 at 11:15 PM, Michael569 said:

People operate on learned behaviours. Jealousy, disguise and scheming is just a survival game, these people don't know how to survive in the world in any other way, they've never been told otherwise. They are not bad or evil. If you were born to their families, you would have been the same. In a way, they are victims to large systemic problem. 

People are in control of their actions, and if you do evil you have to pay for it.

Yeah certain things are environmental, but the intention behind an action is your own.

[Artsu]

@Nemo28 this is great to read. It sounds like in the past 2 years you've received the divine love. This is what it means in Christianity to be born again, even if most Christians don't know it. Most people have not received the divine love. Evil can still be overcome without divine love, but it is much more difficult.

Read the letters on the website truthforallpeople.com to learn more about this.

[TripleFly]

20 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

@TripleFly

Yes, i suppose i am those things or rather they are in me. I see my sensitivity as challange to how much i can accept everything. During 1-2 years my state of being has tranformed from making life all about me to making it all about "us". What i see in myself is desire to transmute my negative thoughts, feelings into positive expressions that would benefit all. I have to say ayahuasca has helped me a lot. It literally opened my hearth. 

 

 

Yes, totally agree. When i started loving myself everything changed, its still changing. Indeed its the ultimate teaching. And i struggle with that too, insted of feeling greatful i feel guilty for having so much blessings..Need to practice graditude. 

This was the message from my recent ayahuasca trips, "To love everything, even though you know you cant, but you do it anyway". It was my dying wish..

 

Well since the very begining i was overwhelmed by the negativity of my own mind, this has stunded my normal development of consciousness, as i couldnt process my emotions and got trapped in my own desstructive mind. Well anyhow i have made enormous progress these recent years. I have escaped my mind and now exist as pure being, ofc the negativity is still there (albeit at very low lvls compared to my past situation). What i do is i assume the worst and with open hearth accept it and transform it into love. I bless all people and i wish them happieness. This is my practice. ]

 

Highest love to you my friend as well! <3 Love, love, love..lets drown ourselves in it ^^ 

Yes dude it's totally an eye opener the  'us' vs me. I had the exact same thing, euphoria and all from the relief of myself and the discovery of the everything.

Try gratitude, I did, and it was nice, but it's not a game changer. But you know rome wasn't built in a day.. but you know you don't gotta do anything really like a 'practice', you know? but 100% on gratitude.

like what I am trying to say that it's all about alignment? Like you know when you're doing a lot of spiritual work like Yoga, inquiry, meditation, but you're more distracted and busy by the doingness of the mind, rather than feeling into your body and getting that drowning in love sensation? Like how every moment that you're doing the spiritual-practice you go deeper and deeper? Like even the discipline-strick-rigid-hard-borderline DO THIS OR YOUR IN EGO, that part, falls off and you're just following your intuition? You get in the flow of your heart your best friend your beloved . That's what alignment vs non-alignment feels like.

And then it's like how much time do you wanna spend working your ass off spiritual work instead of aligning yourself with your heart and diving DEEP no matter GOOD or BAD, negative positive, judgemental, thought or emotion. You're in faith brother. Now I sound like a preacher nun type of person. But these days I think it's just letting your spiritual ego exhaust itself, notice the suffering you create for yourself, it's like, what do you wanna do? No way you'd choose anything other than your heart when you start seeing, and man you already have your eyes open. It's like, pay attention lol.

 

ANYWAY I hope I transmitted something of value in my blabbering to you. bottom line it's really simple. Have faith that whatever you feel and encounter is right for you, and then you can call that 'right-suffering'. And then have faith that it's gonna pull you out of there when it's the right time too! Notice what feels better to your heart, and what doesn't so you're aligned in your personal compass(I don't use the word truth).

That's what god means.. Have faith... Go through the toxic mold and the destruction of your personal world. Why? Because it's 10,000000X better and more REAL than anything mental you're gonna do. The REAL thing separating you are not really your thoughts, you're thoughts are like glass and you only see a few at a given time. It's your emotions. Spiritual work is the cleansing of the Emotional Body. Once your emotions are out of the picture, what remains is pure joy, and all the good stuff that you naturally posses. 

But don't do anything about your emotions! That's just ego. Actually you're ego is the one that will suffer and make you stop meditating or whatever. Your job is not to force yourself, but to do 2 things:

Love yourself as a refuge for your ego, so when it's unbearable, your ego or whatever you think is yourself at the moment can run towards the love YOU freely give. Just tell yourself I love you. Just imagine or cultivate a feeling of love in you. Eventually you can just take a breath and sense the love in you without thought. But if you can't then tell it yourself, 'i love you' .

Notice suffering and notice when you're less suffering. Let awareness do the work for you. When you sit down to meditate sometimes you'll be more aware, sometimes you'll try to force yourself to be aware, sometimes you'll have spontaneus joy or pleasure or fulfillment, sometimes you'll 'understand' things, sometimes you'll get excited, sometimes you'll get depressed, sometimes you'll want to stop meditating, sometimes you... 

And this is where you have the insight that you keep bringing up: You are suffering, and then you FIX THE SUFFERING. STOP DOING THAT! Stop mentally 'becoming aware', stop helping yourself, reminding yourself. Stop changing reality when ever you notice! Eventually stop 'stopping changing reality too!' , a little too meta there... So when you stop mentally fixing the problem(As most people do with thoughts) you allow yourself to experience yourself a little deeper. Give yourself some love and just continue sitting right there. The MIDST of confusion and chaos! What a wonderful place, you never know what you'll learn from being there... But that's the Sweet spot. And just feel whatever comes, notice suffering, notice spontaneus awareness, overly-self-conscious states. It's really cool because you start acting as if you're in the real world and you're going through the motions, sometimes you're happy sometimes you try to do something.... But don't forget to offer love to yourself freely because you'll quickly find yourself drowning in the darkness. Your own willingness to tell yourself 'i-love-you' and to feel what's happening is what determines the rate in which you learn to swim. From there you figured it out, then it just depends how long do you wanna let yourself swim and how deep do you wanna go? 

Fuck I am so jelous of you. This is such a fun process. You'll be overwhelmed a little but that's just because the water really gets in your face. don't worry though(or maybe do, if that's what arises) you're a natural swimmer.

[Nemo28]

18 hours ago, Artsu said:

@Nemo28 this is great to read. It sounds like in the past 2 years you've received the divine love. This is what it means in Christianity to be born again, even if most Christians don't know it. Most people have not received the divine love. Evil can still be overcome without divine love, but it is much more difficult.

Read the letters on the website truthforallpeople.com to learn more about this.

Yeah, psychadelics showed me that divine love, but i had to really want it, nothing in me knew of love, until i trusted the unknown and made conscious effort to ask for love. It felt like such a struggle. Now im with love, surrendered and empty. Still remain kind confused thou, but not really caring much  

[seriousman24]

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Yes dude it's totally an eye opener the  'us' vs me. I had the exact same thing, euphoria and all from the relief of myself and the discovery of the everything.

Try gratitude, I did, and it was nice, but it's not a game changer. But you know rome wasn't built in a day.. but you know you don't gotta do anything really like a 'practice', you know? but 100% on gratitude.

like what I am trying to say that it's all about alignment? Like you know when you're doing a lot of spiritual work like Yoga, inquiry, meditation, but you're more distracted and busy by the doingness of the mind, rather than feeling into your body and getting that drowning in love sensation? Like how every moment that you're doing the spiritual-practice you go deeper and deeper? Like even the discipline-strick-rigid-hard-borderline DO THIS OR YOUR IN EGO, that part, falls off and you're just following your intuition? You get in the flow of your heart your best friend your beloved . That's what alignment vs non-alignment feels like.

And then it's like how much time do you wanna spend working your ass off spiritual work instead of aligning yourself with your heart and diving DEEP no matter GOOD or BAD, negative positive, judgemental, thought or emotion. You're in faith brother. Now I sound like a preacher nun type of person. But these days I think it's just letting your spiritual ego exhaust itself, notice the suffering you create for yourself, it's like, what do you wanna do? No way you'd choose anything other than your heart when you start seeing, and man you already have your eyes open. It's like, pay attention lol.

 

ANYWAY I hope I transmitted something of value in my blabbering to you. bottom line it's really simple. Have faith that whatever you feel and encounter is right for you, and then you can call that 'right-suffering'. And then have faith that it's gonna pull you out of there when it's the right time too! Notice what feels better to your heart, and what doesn't so you're aligned in your personal compass(I don't use the word truth).

That's what god means.. Have faith... Go through the toxic mold and the destruction of your personal world. Why? Because it's 10,000000X better and more REAL than anything mental you're gonna do. The REAL thing separating you are not really your thoughts, you're thoughts are like glass and you only see a few at a given time. It's your emotions. Spiritual work is the cleansing of the Emotional Body. Once your emotions are out of the picture, what remains is pure joy, and all the good stuff that you naturally posses. 

But don't do anything about your emotions! That's just ego. Actually you're ego is the one that will suffer and make you stop meditating or whatever. Your job is not to force yourself, but to do 2 things:

Love yourself as a refuge for your ego, so when it's unbearable, your ego or whatever you think is yourself at the moment can run towards the love YOU freely give. Just tell yourself I love you. Just imagine or cultivate a feeling of love in you. Eventually you can just take a breath and sense the love in you without thought. But if you can't then tell it yourself, 'i love you' .

Notice suffering and notice when you're less suffering. Let awareness do the work for you. When you sit down to meditate sometimes you'll be more aware, sometimes you'll try to force yourself to be aware, sometimes you'll have spontaneus joy or pleasure or fulfillment, sometimes you'll 'understand' things, sometimes you'll get excited, sometimes you'll get depressed, sometimes you'll want to stop meditating, sometimes you... 

And this is where you have the insight that you keep bringing up: You are suffering, and then you FIX THE SUFFERING. STOP DOING THAT! Stop mentally 'becoming aware', stop helping yourself, reminding yourself. Stop changing reality when ever you notice! Eventually stop 'stopping changing reality too!' , a little too meta there... So when you stop mentally fixing the problem(As most people do with thoughts) you allow yourself to experience yourself a little deeper. Give yourself some love and just continue sitting right there. The MIDST of confusion and chaos! What a wonderful place, you never know what you'll learn from being there... But that's the Sweet spot. And just feel whatever comes, notice suffering, notice spontaneus awareness, overly-self-conscious states. It's really cool because you start acting as if you're in the real world and you're going through the motions, sometimes you're happy sometimes you try to do something.... But don't forget to offer love to yourself freely because you'll quickly find yourself drowning in the darkness. Your own willingness to tell yourself 'i-love-you' and to feel what's happening is what determines the rate in which you learn to swim. From there you figured it out, then it just depends how long do you wanna let yourself swim and how deep do you wanna go? 

Fuck I am so jelous of you. This is such a fun process. You'll be overwhelmed a little but that's just because the water really gets in your face. don't worry though(or maybe do, if that's what arises) you're a natural swimmer.

very nice

[Nemo28]

1 hour ago, TripleFly said:

Yes dude it's totally an eye opener the  'us' vs me. I had the exact same thing, euphoria and all from the relief of myself and the discovery of the everything.

Did you use psychadelics? 

1 hour ago, TripleFly said:

Try gratitude, I did, and it was nice, but it's not a game changer. But you know rome wasn't built in a day.. but you know you don't gotta do anything really like a 'practice', you know? but 100% on gratitude.

Ok instead of feeling guilty i will feel gratitude ^^

1 hour ago, TripleFly said:

like what I am trying to say that it's all about alignment?

Yeah i am very aligned with my hearth. I dont really do meditation or any spiritual practices, i just observe and remain in the silence. I do feel im diving deeper into something progresivly. Sinking in my hearth. 

1 hour ago, TripleFly said:

But these days I think it's just letting your spiritual ego exhaust itself, notice the suffering you create for yourself, it's like, what do you wanna do?

Yes, im so sick of trying to be spiritual..there is still some fear in me, the fear of comiting sins, i feel like if i do something universe doesnt like it will punish me and will suffer greatly. So there is this little ego still..

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Love yourself as a refuge for your ego, so when it's unbearable, your ego or whatever you think is yourself at the moment can run towards the love YOU freely give. Just tell yourself I love you. Just imagine or cultivate a feeling of love in you. Eventually you can just take a breath and sense the love in you without thought. But if you can't then tell it yourself, 'i love you' .

Yes, there is still resistance to love i sense. Sometimes im just writing radom persons "i love you" this helps ^^ ITs like all this built up resistance and fear just vanishes cause i did the one thing that i fear the most which is to say those words and it destroys my image of myself i have built, till im left with nothing. And its nice

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Notice suffering and notice when you're less suffering. Let awareness do the work for you. When you sit down to meditate sometimes you'll be more aware, sometimes you'll try to force yourself to be aware, sometimes you'll have spontaneus joy or pleasure or fulfillment, sometimes you'll 'understand' things, sometimes you'll get excited, sometimes you'll get depressed, sometimes you'll want to stop meditating, sometimes you... 

I dont really meditate, only when i feel like it, i feel like all my life is meditation. I never leave my awreness, im always there. 

 

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Give yourself some love and just continue sitting right there. The MIDST of confusion and chaos! What a wonderful place, you never know what you'll learn from being there... But that's the Sweet spot.

Yes, this is what im learning now, that being here in whatever state you are right now in, is the perfect state and doesnt need to be changed. I am with the Truth in this presence be it sad or joyfull. 

 

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

But don't forget to offer love to yourself freely because you'll quickly find yourself drowning in the darkness. Your own willingness to tell yourself 'i-love-you' and to feel what's happening is what determines the rate in which you learn to swim.

Yeah i have problem saying those words to me, it feels kinda fake and weird but i know this is the way, the love is the way..

 

2 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Fuck I am so jelous of you. This is such a fun process. You'll be overwhelmed a little but that's just because the water really gets in your face. don't worry though(or maybe do, if that's what arises) you're a natural swimmer.

[Artsu]

4 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

Yeah, psychadelics showed me that divine love, but i had to really want it, nothing in me knew of love, until i trusted the unknown and made conscious effort to ask for love. It felt like such a struggle. Now im with love, surrendered and empty. Still remain kind confused thou, but not really caring much  

The divine love comes from God, and yes, all you need to do is ask and you shall receive.

Keep asking for more love! Now that you have received the spark, you will become ablaze with this divine love. It will fill you completely, and your old personality will fade away.

As it says in the bible, a woman mixed yeast in to her dough until it was leavened through. The mustard seed is the smallest of seeds but grows into the biggest tree, where the animals take shade. One must be born again through the spirit, and will never thirst again. These parables speak of the divine love.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Artsu