What are my thoughts?

[Nemo28]

I can think of so many reasons why people do things, usually there is lots of negativity involved. I feel hate, jelousy, disguist etc., i get so much bad vibes from people. I dont know where all this comming from? The negativity is soul crushing sometimes.. I try to love, accept everyone with my best ability, but usually i dont recieve that back which i give, so it makes me sad. 

[Aaron p]

Yo, if you have a big ass shadow it doesn't matter how nice you try to be...you'll manifest evil. You gotta do consciousness work. Meditation, contemplation, yoga, inquiry, psyc retreats

[Michael569]

People operate on learned behaviours. Jealousy, disguise and scheming is just a survival game, these people don't know how to survive in the world in any other way, they've never been told otherwise. They are not bad or evil. If you were born to their families, you would have been the same. In a way, they are victims to large systemic problem. 

[JayG84]

1 hour ago, Nemo28 said:

I can think of so many reasons why people do things, usually there is lots of negativity involved. I feel hate, jelousy, disguist etc., i get so much bad vibes from people. I dont know where all this comming from? The negativity is soul crushing sometimes.. I try to love, accept everyone with my best ability, but usually i dont recieve that back which i give, so it makes me sad. 

Love has to be found from within first. Notice that you're looking for love from other people which will always result in sadness. You mirror in the world what you feel within, so if you feel hate, jealousy, disgust, you'll continue to attract those things into you're life. 

When you start to realize that people don't mean to be negative, they don't intend to be selfish, it's just unconscious programming that they're running on, it's all just a false story that they tell themselves and they are completely unaware of it.... then you'll be able to view other people with compassion and acceptance and you'll want to show them Love and guidance to relieve their suffering. But you must see those things in you first, and treat yourself with that same compassion and acceptance or else you won't be able to see it in others and the same suffering in them will also be in you. Remember that we are all connected.

Write down all the things that you don't want to see in the world anymore and question them deeply. How would a good friend show you love and compassion and give you guidance? Give that to yourself. Self-Love heals all wounds. Show the world the same Love and you'll find what you're looking for. ❤️✌️

[VeganAwake]

When we are little children we learn to speak through labelling. At least this is how I remember.
Mom would ask - what is this?
I would say- this is a house
This is a car.
This is a window.
This is me.
Where is your nose?
Here is my nose, and I would touch it...

I have learned to label things and experiences and tested my limits and limits of my parents patience by throwing things, by saying no, by trying not to be conditioned. You know that little rebel age if you have kids.

So I learned the language and started using it, communicating with other people. One of most important words was me and mine: this is my toy, not my brother's.

No one has ever told me that 'me' is a word that is only useful in communication with others. Without others, there is no me, without I there is no them.

Somehow this belief in a me became stronger and took over, it became the central belief around which everything else was turning. It's like a belief, that earth is the centre of the universe, I became the centre of my world.

Until I looked. It really was just one look, it took a few seconds and all the search was over. The search for clarity, the quest of 'who am I?' was seen as cosmic joke.

There is no who.
There is nothing here in direct experience that is separate from experienced. Just this. Always now.

If you want to test this, simply do this little experiment that won't even take much of your time. All you need is 20 minutes, a pen & paper.

First write what you are experiencing right now using words I and me. Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just plain description of here now.

Like this-
I am laying in bed. I am hearing the rain, I am typing these words..

Do it for 10 minutes. Watch the body, are there any sensations of tightening or relaxing?

Then for next 10 minutes write without words I and me. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs:
Waiting for next thought, typing, breathing, blinking, hearing the rain.

Again watch what is happening in the body.

Now compare the two ways to label experience- is one truer than the other? If so, which one? What is here without labels? Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

Your body knows. I is a label, not experiencer. Not a thinker, not a doer, not a hearer of rain. I is not what makes eyes blink and it is not a breather, it's a word, that is used for convenience of communication. If it's believed to be an entity, the mind is confused, the body is tensed up. Unconfusing it is simple- bring attention back to now and look once again- is there a me behind the word 'me'?

Life is happening. Looking is happening. Getting lost in the story is happening. With or without label I.

What is not on automatic?
And do we really need to be enslaved by labels? After all, experience is what labels point TO.

The story goes on. The belief in story drops away. The story is way much more enjoyable without the fear that something can happen to this 'me' once it's clearly seen that there is no actual me. Confidence, grace, fearlessness, peace with what is starts to shine through as fear gets loosened.

Imagine that! Humans got screwed by labels. And look at world of fashion- labels are so important!

So much emotional pain, such strong desire to get home, when home is all there is. Right here- underneath all the labels. Here, now waiting to be recognized.

Look. Don't think, just look. ❤

[SoonHei]

what are my thoughts?

they are exactly like sounds you hear from your ear... in that they are not YOURS

they are thoughts - not your thoughts

just like sound heard from your ears (yes, the ears are yours!) aren't your sounds.

 

and once you drop the ownership, then you're gucci

[TripleFly]

Wow man this is really touching me because I have been going through this probably definitely my entire life. It's like this thick world, thick shadow, that drowns you and makes it really hard just to live.

It's your own inner darkness coming to life. It's being triggered by the outside world and it's coming out more and more. And our egos can fight and fight but at some point you start to break, and sadness can quickly escalate to depression...

You don't need to love all that darkness if you don't want to. But don't abandon yourself!

Love the one inside of you that becomes saddened by the darkness.

Love the one that becomes jealous

Love the one that hates how everything is

Love the one that becomes sad

You can experiment with different 'spiritual practices' but ultimately the highest form of teaching, is, self-love. All other teachings, in one way or another, point to a FORM of self love. Which is all other teachings are 'sort-of' secondary to self-love... But hey if you find something that really helps you then that's exactly IT for YOU!! which is PERFECT!!!

Personally I have struggled with loving myself, and found it ridicules. I mean, come on, we already love ourselves, give me a break. So...

Love the one who is frustrated by 'love'.

 

Good luck

[Nemo28]

@Aaron p there is no evil really, it's just gets overwhelming sometimes to be the 'sponge " for other people, to suck in (what I perceive, their thoughts and feelings). I guess, it's one reason I like to be alone. Yeah ayahuasca retreats have helped me a lot. God bless psyhadelics

[Nemo28]

@Michael569 yeah I understand, I also were like them, but then I learnt forgiveness and love (thanks to psyhadelics). I want to heal people, by my ability to absorb their negativity and transform it to something more harmonious. 

[Nemo28]

15 hours ago, JayG84 said:

Love has to be found from within first. Notice that you're looking for love from other people which will always result in sadness. You mirror in the world what you feel within, so if you feel hate, jealousy, disgust, you'll continue to attract those things into you're life. 

When you start to realize that people don't mean to be negative, they don't intend to be selfish, it's just unconscious programming that they're running on, it's all just a false story that they tell themselves and they are completely unaware of it.... then you'll be able to view other people with compassion and acceptance and you'll want to show them Love and guidance to relieve their suffering. But you must see those things in you first, and treat yourself with that same compassion and acceptance or else you won't be able to see it in others and the same suffering in them will also be in you. Remember that we are all connected.

Write down all the things that you don't want to see in the world anymore and question them deeply. How would a good friend show you love and compassion and give you guidance? Give that to yourself. Self-Love heals all wounds. Show the world the same Love and you'll find what you're looking for. ❤️✌️

Thanks! Yes, ultimately I recognize that it's all coming from me "the I". I do try to accept everything about me, so I also accept others however much I can, but it just gets overwhelming.. Sometimes all you want to do is hide and be left alone. 

[Nemo28]

@VeganAwake wow thanks for reminding this again. Yeah I am just a label, I can't do anything really, things just happening (but it's so convincing I am doing it). But it's weird how when you realize this the behavior changes having less fear and more joy, it's as if "you" did something, or it just happened hmm..

[Nemo28]

11 hours ago, SoonHei said:

what are my thoughts?

they are exactly like sounds you hear from your ear... in that they are not YOURS

they are thoughts - not your thoughts

just like sound heard from your ears (yes, the ears are yours!) aren't your sounds.

 

and once you drop the ownership, then you're gucci

Yeah but it's only true from one perspective. It's also true that I am those sounds and thoughts, I mean not really cause I can observe them, but they are part of me. I think I want to be aware of all of this "noise" in order to heal "myself" or the world. 

[Nemo28]

11 hours ago, TripleFly said:

Wow man this is really touching me because I have been going through this probably definitely my entire life. It's like this thick world, thick shadow, that drowns you and makes it really hard just to live.

It's your own inner darkness coming to life. It's being triggered by the outside world and it's coming out more and more. And our egos can fight and fight but at some point you start to break, and sadness can quickly escalate to depression...

You don't need to love all that darkness if you don't want to. But don't abandon yourself!

Love the one inside of you that becomes saddened by the darkness.

Love the one that becomes jealous

Love the one that hates how everything is

Love the one that becomes sad

You can experiment with different 'spiritual practices' but ultimately the highest form of teaching, is, self-love. All other teachings, in one way or another, point to a FORM of self love. Which is all other teachings are 'sort-of' secondary to self-love... But hey if you find something that really helps you then that's exactly IT for YOU!! which is PERFECT!!!

Personally I have struggled with loving myself, and found it ridicules. I mean, come on, we already love ourselves, give me a break. So...

Love the one who is frustrated by 'love'.

 

Good luck

Yeah, I never really noticed how much darkness and negativity there are around others before, I was more focused on myself (my own egoic problems) and never really thought about others, but now it's the way around, I have abondoned my egoic desires and extended my awareness outside to what I perceive other people and there is so much negativity and pain, which is why it gets overwhelming, I guess I can't do much about it, just practice acceptance and love. It feels as if I have no choice lol, it's what I really want, to accept as much as I can, all that negativity.. 

[SoonHei]

@Nemo28 those thoughts represent a tiny piece of what you really are

those i-thoughts referring to nemo28 as a person in the world is not your true position...

when that i-thoughts shifts to represent nemo28 + the world, then you will be at the wheel of your life.

[Nahm]

7 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

here is so much negativity and pain, which is why it gets overwhelming, I guess I can't do much about it, just practice acceptance and love. It feels as if I have no choice lol, it's what I really want, to accept as much as I can, all that negativity.. 

Rather than accept it, inspect how you’re creating it. When the activity of the mind settles, understanding appears to arise - similar to how confusion is made of clarity. 

[TripleFly]

7 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

Yeah, I never really noticed how much darkness and negativity there are around others before, I was more focused on myself (my own egoic problems) and never really thought about others, but now it's the way around, I have abondoned my egoic desires and extended my awareness outside to what I perceive other people and there is so much negativity and pain, which is why it gets overwhelming, I guess I can't do much about it, just practice acceptance and love. It feels as if I have no choice lol, it's what I really want, to accept as much as I can, all that negativity.. 

That's really good man, but I think it's also about independence, being your own individual person, not really relying on outside circumstances to be happy?

For me, I had to accept that if I am to live in this world, I need to do it my way... I started eating healthier but also indulging because I found out that I can't force myself to just eat healthy. I started taking my spiritual practice more seriously. I practiced and am still practicing my alone time, and how to be with myself... I got clean water and I drink a lot of it. You know the basics, hydration,diet,exercise,sleep... This is just basic self-care, which no one teaches us!! At least that was my case.

 

The point I am trying to make, don't make it hard on your ego to surrender and to love. Have a good life! We're living in the greatest of times where you can live like a KING!!! 

You already posses spiritual seeds and sprouts, that's good enough, much better than most of everybody you'll meet. Now just heal your mind and body, by taking care of it. Pick yourself up. I love you.

Edited July 17, 2020 by TripleFly

[Nemo28]

2 hours ago, SoonHei said:

@Nemo28 those thoughts represent a tiny piece of what you really are

those i-thoughts referring to nemo28 as a person in the world is not your true position...

when that i-thoughts shifts to represent nemo28 + the world, then you will be at the wheel of your life.

Yeah i know that i am everything ^^ i just wonder if these negative thoughts can be switched off ..

[Nemo28]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

Rather than accept it, inspect how you’re creating it. When the activity of the mind settles, understanding appears to arise - similar to how confusion is made of clarity. 

Well im making lots of assumptions about reality and people, i am mostly assuming the worst, which feels true, there is lots of negativity in people and me. I really cant see how can i stop assuming the negative, i wish i could..

[Nemo28]

@TripleFly Hmm being alone is great, but i feel like im doing it too much, so now im indulging myself into social activities if the oppurtunity strikes. Although its really hard to relate to people, im mostly silent in conversations, cause i have nothing to say, everything seems ok as it is, so i have nothing to complain about. 

Yes, im taking care of myself too, this whole year i dedicated solely for self-growth. ITs been amazing, so much creativity unleshed! 

I cant help but to want to grow bigger, and it seems accepting all the negativities i get from people makes it do so.. although i wish there would be other way..

Yes, i am very lucky to have so many gifts from the universe, the problem is i dont know how to use them. 

Im trying my best to take care of my body and soul, but sometimes i feel guilty for all the good things i have while others are less fortunate..  

[SoonHei]

48 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

i just wonder if these negative thoughts can be switched off ..

switched off? no

just like you cannot switch off the sound from coming into your ears

 

but, like when you're sitting in a busy restaurant, you can give your attention to the person in-front of you while you block out all the background noise... same way, you can give your attention to your breath, sensations etc - away from those "negative" thoughts

 

your attention is the invitation for them. take away the attention and the thoughts will stop to come. don't be interested in what they have to say. it's like scrolling thru netflix. each time you scroll, you see titles you can click and watch... simply keep on scrolling. don't be drawn into and click something. that would be IT getting your attention