billiesimon

There's actually no God -- Contemplation

46 posts in this topic

This is a "sober" contemplation. Based upon several days of daily awareness practices. 

I've also had small psychedelic awakenings in the last months, which helped me a lot to realize this as sober.

 

Well.... there's no God. There's just "I".

I am observing this body, these walls, trees, streets, feelings, emotions etc.....

If I get absorbed in observing thoughts and emotions, I tend to become very unconscious and convinced of being a human.

The more I detach from thoughts and emotions, by observing them in the full context of sounds, sights etc.... the more I become aware of a "dream".

 

So.... what is happening here is that I am alone, and I don't know myself.

 

But I am pretending to be a human with problems, hopes and dreams.... And tomorrow I WILL FORGET AGAIN.

For some weird reason I am FORCING MYSELF to believe in this story, and it's really really hard to remain connected to the Awareness that I am. Psychedelics help a lot to become instantly aware, but at the same time psychedelics are just a plot-related tool that I have dreamed to help me awaken.

It's so weird........ and insane.

 

There is no God. I am the one existing here. I am probably the only one creating all of this but right now, in the "sober" state, I AM NOT ABLE to understand how I am dreaming all of this and how deep goes my power. I can't even feel my own power, to be honest. I can just feel that I am a Formless Eye, eternal eye, observing and becoming asleep and believing in thoughts and emotions.

 

I have tried so hard to become fully awake as "sober", but it seems almost impossibe and I don't understand why I can't use my powers to become 100% detached from the story I am in.

But... I am aware that I AM the only presence here. My nature is to observe, that's it. I can just observe.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't perform actions... I can just observe. 

Yet, I still find it ABSURD that I can't decide right now to become absolutely aware of how I'm creating and shaping everything. I am an absolute mystery.


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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There is only the Self with its infinite diversity and depth. 

At an infinitely deep level, God resides. However all aspects of the Self originate from this deepest level. Which is why God is equal to anything.

Thats my view on it :)

 

Edited by DaHonorableCourt

Elevators of my mind,

Up and down a million times

Loving you.

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32 minutes ago, The Lucid Dreamer said:

That “I” is God.

Are you aware of that now? If not, it's a mere belief.  

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2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

For some weird reason I am FORCING MYSELF to believe in this story, and it's really really hard to remain connected to the Awareness that I am. 

 

What is the one thing a limitless omniscient being does not have? Non-omniscience.

In order for you to experience non-omniscience, you have to temporarily say goodbye to your omniscience.

You cannot have both at the same time. One cannot wear a blindfold at the same time as not wearing a blindfold.

Therefore, you are God on vacation from being God.

If you genuinely want to go home, then you need to be clear about it.

Otherwise enjoy your vacation, and respect the fact that the vacation is defined by limitation and not-knowing.

Pro-tip: On the other hand, use some cheat-codes and manifest anything you like until you get bored. 

 

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5 hours ago, billiesimon said:

I have tried so hard to become fully awake as "sober", but it seems almost impossibe and I don't understand why I can't use my powers to become 100% detached from the story I am in.

What is trying to become fully awake and detach from the story?

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3 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

What is trying to become fully awake and detach from the story?

My ego/identity.

But at the same time there's no difference between ego and consciousness, since the ego is just a thought structure that consciousness is observing and becoming absorbed into. So, you could also say that the observer is actually trying to trascend the ego by using the ego itself, with intentions like "I want to awaken/ I want to find my true self".

It's some kind of paradox, because in oneness there's no difference between ego and awareness.


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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5 hours ago, peachboy said:

Pro-tip: On the other hand, use some cheat-codes and manifest anything you like until you get bored. 

Hahaha what do you mean with cheat codes? :D


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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Plot twist: you are God, only God likes to pretend he's not (hide n seek being the favorite game in Godtown)


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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11 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Plot twist: you are God, only God likes to pretend he's not (hide n seek being the favorite game in Godtown)

Yes, but what I'm trying to say is that there's just the sense of "I", which is ever present in the human experience. God is a word I don't like, since it tends to create separation. It's just ME, but I am not conscious enough to feel my own power and ability to manifest this sensory reality in the present moment :) God is a problematic word, "I" is a lot better, because you can clearly feel this I AM in every moment of the day, if you concentrate on existence itself.


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

My ego/identity.

 

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

the ego is just a thought structure that consciousness is observing and becoming absorbed into.

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

So, you could also say that the observer is actually trying to trascend the ego by using the ego itself, with intentions like "I want to awaken/ I want to find my true self".

Yes the ego is just thoughts so simply see them for what they are. No need to engage with them.

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5 hours ago, billiesimon said:

Yes, but what I'm trying to say is that there's just the sense of "I", which is ever present in the human experience. 

Awakening is the death of this illusory sense of 'I' and the simultaneous recognition that it never actually existed in the first place. 

It can seem very radical for some... and completely ordinary for others..


“Everything is honoured, but nothing matters.” — Eckhart Tolle.

"I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I've been knocking from the inside." -- Rumi

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16 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

Awakening is the death of this illusory sense of 'I' and the simultaneous recognition that it never actually existed in the first place. 

It can seem very radical for some... and completely ordinary for others..

I'm not talking about the ego, I'm talking about the awareness, the attention that is ever present in existence. The attention that gives form to the formless. Ramana Maharshi, as an example, called it the sense of "I", which is not to be confused with the identity :) 


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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@billiesimon As crazy as it sounds, God can be directly experienced via meditation.  That's when you realize God exists.  Oh shit.

 

epiphany-25.gif.f6c332c8fe6cda53c6a2bf8a0c920f0b.gif


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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5 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@billiesimon As crazy as it sounds, God can be directly experienced via meditation.  That's when you realize God exists.  Oh shit.

 

epiphany-25.gif.f6c332c8fe6cda53c6a2bf8a0c920f0b.gif

Your signature sentence is exactly what I mean with my thread xD 

I have realized "god" in my psychedelic trips, but the fact remains that it's not god but it's ME, with capital letters :)
An entity entirely made of "attention" or the ability to just be present. It's hard to explain. 

I don't like the term god because it tends to create separation, while in fact I am being it right now but I'm just not enough awake to feel it now.


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

Your signature sentence is exactly what I mean with my thread xD 

I have realized "god" in my psychedelic trips, but the fact remains that it's not god but it's ME, with capital letters :)
An entity entirely made of "attention" or the ability to just be present. It's hard to explain. 

I don't like the term god because it tends to create separation, while in fact I am being it right now but I'm just not enough awake to feel it now.

Ok.  Yeah for me that was a separate awakening or realization.  Oneness.   There are degrees to awakening.  One may realize Infinity exists - then one may realize they and Infinity/Pure Awareness are one and the same.   One may have just a realization of Infinity and or Pure Awareness and not both...etc.. And of course this usually follows the realization that there is no you as in what you thought you were (the ego)

 


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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@billiesimon You are right in saying that there is only 'I', but this 'I' IS God. You are god. When you truly become conscious of God there is absolutely not a shred of doubt that it is ACTUAL GOD and that YOU ARE GOD. The word takes on a radically new meaning once it is realised.


"Find what you love and let it kill you." - Charles Bukowski

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44 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

Ok.  Yeah for me that was a separate awakening or realization.  Oneness.   There are degrees to awakening.  One may realize Infinity exists - then one may realize they and Infinity/Pure Awareness are one and the same.   And of course this usually follows the realization that there is no you as in what you thought you were (the ego)

 

I've only had the facet of awakening related to "I am the only entity, and my ego/human form is a dream." 

I still feel no God in my awakenings. 

There' just me as pure eternal awareness. 

Aren't they the same type of awakening? 


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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23 minutes ago, Space said:

@billiesimon You are right in saying that there is only 'I', but this 'I' IS God. You are god. When you truly become conscious of God there is absolutely not a shred of doubt that it is ACTUAL GOD and that YOU ARE GOD. The word takes on a radically new meaning once it is realised.

What I don't understand is that I keep having awakenings in my trips, but they all point to the same revelation: I am not a human but a formless "attention/awareness". Everything else feels like a dream I am having. 

But I feel no God. Just "I". And this "I" is as clueless as my human form, but it is perfectly conscious of living a dream and that there's no death, just eternity. 

Isn't it awakening? :o

Edited by billiesimon

Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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5 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

I still feel no God in my awakenings. 

Your awakenings are huge but still more to go. 


 

Wisdom.  Truth.  Love.

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