Taking 100% responsibility vs control is an illusion

[BjarkeT]

Both ideas make sense to me but they seem to contradict each other. How to deal with this? Or what the right approach on this?

would love to hear anyones thoughts on this.

[flume]

14 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

How to deal with this? Or what the right approach on this?

Learning to become comfortable with paradox

[BjarkeT]

@flume i guess you are right but it’s hard ? 

[Leo Gura]

Videos:

• Paradoxes Of Personal Development
• How To Deal With Confusion

[Girzo]

I have contemplated this question a lot as a kid.

My best answer is: "Why can't you taking 100% responsibility be the reality you have no control of?" There's no reason why it cannot be so. So accept that this is the reality where you are becoming a great human being and you have no choice about that. You are destined to be great*.

*Caution, some temporary obstacles on the way ahead.

[Danioover9000]

What? 100% responsibility and control sounds like the same to me. I don't see any contradiction here. I think the issue is not taking full responsibility and not exercising self control, so go and do that. 

[Mu_]

2 hours ago, BjarkeT said:

Both ideas make sense to me but they seem to contradict each other. How to deal with this? Or what the right approach on this?

would love to hear anyones thoughts on this.

This won't unite the two (and perhaps they can't be nor need to be), but perhaps get you thinking more.

What would it mean to be 100% in control? And how would you know your meeting this criteria?  And would this definition given, match everyone asked this question?  And if not, what does that mean about the idea "100% in control".

[Carl-Richard]

"The relative/absolute fallacy": conflating the relative with the absolute. Most contradictions and confusion of terms in spirituality stem from this.

[Someone here]

You have no no control over whether you gonna put food into your stomach today or aren't.. But we can agree that if you do wish to survive you must put food into your stomach whether that's in your control or not.  You get the idea.. 

Edited July 16, 2020 by Someone here

[BjarkeT]

@Danioover9000 Did you read the title? It’s not about responsibility vs control but the illusion of it. We want take full responsibility yet do we actually have control to do so because control is an illusion?

[Shiva99]

Kill the idea of being in control part. Make it very practical. You have to experience it first hand or it won't work. 

1) Write down everyday exactly what you want to do, how long you want to do it, and when you want to do it.

2) For each activity write down the time you start, the duration, and how you think it's gonna turn out or what will happen that day.

If you really do this deliberately, you will see that it's not gonna workout. Life likes to do it's own thing, not how you plan it out. You really have to do this deliberately, and write down everything in minute detail, and be very precise. If you do it, and really see that it's impossible, you have a chance that something will collapse.

 

you have to write it down like this: at 10.03am i will arrive at the grocery store.

You can't write it down like this: i will arrive at the grocery store before noon.

 

you have to write it down like this: i will wake up at 8.00am.

You can't write it down like this: i will wake up around 8:00am.

 

You probably get the idea. Being very precise is key. Even if you don't do it like this, and go on with the taking 100% responsibility part, something has to collapse sooner or later. There is no way you can take 100% responsibility all day without getting smacked in the face by reality. Unless you walk around with you're eyes closed and ignore all the things that are not working out the way you wanted it that day. Big or small.

Edited July 16, 2020 by Shiva99

[hyruga]

There is no contradiction but you have to understand you cannot control everything. Some things like the heart beating and the muscle cells taking in the oxygen and giving out carbon dioxide are carried out by the subconscious mind.