How to deal with rejection because of Looks?

[Rilles]

 

26 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Haha! That won't work! If that worked, that's what I would tell you to do.

What you misunderstand is that women aren't attracted by looks, they are attracted by a strong masculine persona, which you cannot fake through any external material modifications.

See, you are trying to trick women into being attracted to the weak guy that you are, and you think that will work. And what I'm telling you is that won't work, and you should attract them legitimately by actually turning yourself into a strong masculine persona.

But you want to cheat women. You think it will work. Well, good luck.

It doesn't matter how good you look, if your game sucks, you will not get good women.

I know a guy whos skinny as a twig, still pretty manly though, he has never had a problem with attracting girls, so that makes sense. 

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Rilles said:

I know a guy whos skinny as a twig, still pretty manly though, he has never had a problem with attracting girls, so that makes sense. 

Some guys are naturals. They have natural game given their personality type and early life experience.

But you have to ask yourself, is that you?

[Free Mind]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Haha! That won't work! If that worked, that's what I would tell you to do.

What you misunderstand is that women aren't attracted by looks, they are attracted by a strong masculine persona, which you cannot fake through any external material modifications.

See, you are trying to trick women into being attracted to the weak guy that you are, and you think that will work. And what I'm telling you is that won't work, and you should attract them legitimately by actually turning yourself into a strong masculine persona.

But you want to cheat women. You think it will work. Well, good luck.

It doesn't matter how good you look, if your game sucks, you will not get good women.

Hm, that’s real interesting to know. Are you saying that a female will be more attracted to the guy who carries his own strongly via body language, posture, etc. versus the built jock he generally lacks game and wits compared to the former guy? I always thought looks involve a significant chunk of the female’s attraction algorithms. Is this a myth? 

Edited July 19, 2020 by Free Mind

[Leo Gura]

@Free Mind Looking like a jock is great, but if you aren't that way, what good will it do you?

And even the hottest jock cannot get laid unless he is out socializing with hot women.

Simply going to the gym will NOT get you laid. It's actually a waste of time. All the muscles you're trying to build are to appease your own insecure ego, not to attract the girl.

[Free Mind]

40 minutes ago, Rilles said:

 

I know a guy whos skinny as a twig, still pretty manly though, he has never had a problem with attracting girls, so that makes sense. 

Hahah, that’s me. My BMI is underweight territory. I have no game whatsoever and I’ve received the most negative conditioning during my upbringing. Guess I’m fucked. Oh well. Back to hub I go I suppose.  

[Rilles]

6 minutes ago, Free Mind said:

Hahah, that’s me. My BMI is underweight territory. I have no game whatsoever and I’ve received the most negative conditioning during my upbringing. Guess I’m fucked. Oh well. Back to hub I go I suppose.  

Yes, but you are putting that spoke in the wheel, notice that, your mind is making negative life-long choices without you questioning them. 

[Free Mind]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Free Mind Looking like a jock is great, but if you aren't that way, what good will it do you?

And even the hottest jock cannot get laid unless he is out socializing with hot women.

Simply going to gym will NOT get you laid. It's actually a waste of time.

Yeah but when the jock socializes, he’ll have a much easier time catching her attention and increasing odds of escalating the interaction. At least in my experience. I’ve been to the club with a couple good looking folk who were athletic and built. We were all beginners and we had virtually no experience with game. Yet one female straight up walked to one of the guys and started grinding on him. They didn’t even say a word. 

 

[remember]

1 minute ago, Free Mind said:

Hahah, that’s me. My BMI is underweight territory. I have no game whatsoever and I’ve received the most negative conditioning during my upbringing. Guess I’m fucked. Oh well. Back to hub I go I suppose.  

no, you can still work on it. there are actually a lot of women who like leaner body types. just eat regularly try to build a little more mass, work on posture and you def are able to wear some fashion, which more massive body types can’t wear.

style is and always has been sth you can only adapt to what you already have as raw material. its just not possible to make big changes in your physiognomy, except if you do plastic surgery, it’s only possible to work on the finetunes.

if you want to gain weight fast, maybe really stuff like gaba can help you, or you have a look into low dose steroids, experimenting with amino acids - there was a guy here who had mild addiction to that - there are certainly possibilities to change the physiognomy to some point without strong invasive medicine. if it’s about that, but you can solve a lot of problems with fashion, too.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Free Mind said:

Yeah but when the jock socializes, he’ll have a much easier time catching her attention and increasing odds of escalating the interaction. At least in my experience. I’ve been to the club with a couple good looking folk who were athletic and built. We were all beginners and we had virtually no experience with game. Yet one female straight up walked to one of the guys and started grinding on him. They didn’t even say a word. 

Again, what good does that do you?

If there is a button you can push to turn into a jock, then push it. Otherwise learn game.

[bejapuskas]

Guys, imagine you were the girl you like and you had to live with your current self - do you think it would be interesting or boring? Are you easy to be happy around or do you just feel like you have nothing to do in life and just radiate boredom? Can you take care of yourself? Are you self-sufficient?

Engaging in some sort of tricks and misleading perspectives on relationships will only get you rejected and sad, even if you get the girl to date you. She will quickly recognize what kind of person you are. Don't even bother trying to go the easy way, it doesn't work, plus being challenged by girls is one of the best ways to do consciousness work.

[Don Wei]

@bejapuskas maybe you're too needy. I have the impression right now that you don't really want a relationship but that you are kinda afraid to be alone and that is a bad way to get into a relationship. I don't know if you have found your purpose. But if you haven't try find it. I'm not a relationship expert, my own last relationship failed and I got dumped on christmas eve but doing so many things wrong like being too goofy/feminine, first watching pickup and believing looks don't matter, believing only looks matter, failing shittests and arguing with women, not being direct enough when approaching women etc made me realise that if you chase women desperately you won't attract any and especially the ones you really want. I still have problems with that. Women you're kinda interested in or women who have a lot of interest in you are much easier to get. As leo said before looks only get your foot in the door so you'll have too improve everything. I think that improving yourself spuritually will also greatly improve all areas of your life. Meditation and the law of attraction have really helped me so you could try that if you haven't, but you probably have I think every person on this forum already knows about the law of attraction, meditation, contemplation, nofap etc. So yeah just improve yourself on the outside and inside. Looks only get you in the door, but if you don't take care of you appearance and only have game women wont even give you a chance so get both. Also watch out who you hang out with. You are the average of the four people you hang around with the most.

[bejapuskas]

@Don Wei  Thanks for your kind advice. Might be the case that we had similar problems on our life paths, hopefully the other guys on this forums won't have to go through that. I am sorry for what has happened to you.

[WHO IS]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Again, what good does that do you?

If there is a button you can push to turn into a jock, then push it. Otherwise learn game.

Why cant We as God just imagine and turn our bodies into jocks? Just a suggestion guys. The way reality is being projected is through imagination that we know already. 

Edited July 19, 2020 by WHO IS

[Enlightenment]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yet one female straight up walked to one of the guys and started grinding on him. They didn’t even say a word. 

This has happened to me before in a club but I was too inhibited to do anything 

[saish]

Leo a long while back looking at the victim mentality going in the dating sub forum made this post which I will post down.

I have saved it in my phone because it is that good. you might wanna read to that. 

 

I see a chronic problem on this sub-forum, which is young males who complain about lack of success with women and failing to take responsibility for their situation.
The #1 rule of all growth and personal development is taking 100% responsibility for your situation. I know how hard that can be when you're struggling with women/sex. It feels very much like life is treating you unfairly and that it's the women's fault. Let me tell you right now: this is a total ILLUSION! It's not the women. It's not society. It's not post-modernists. It's not the Marxists. It's not the feminists. It's YOU!
This is not me blaming you. This is simply how all personal development works. Whatever problem you have in life you must begin by getting honest with yourself how you created it. Sometimes this is difficult to accept. It's much easier to blame someone else, or even blame yourself (for being too ugly or too short or too introverted). I am not suggesting you blame yourself. Rather, take ownership of the fact that you are the creator of your life. Whatever is missing in your life, you can correct, but only if you stop blaming yourself and others.
Be very mindful of how your ego-mind creates narratives which justify your sense of lack, brokenness, or inability to attract women. All of these narratives, justification, rationalizations, logic, "facts", scientific studies, proofs, etc are sneakily fabricated by your own mind! Your own mind is the enemy! Watch it like a hawk. Your mind will try to come up with reasons and excuses for why your life is unfair and how success with women is impossible. This is all horseshit! Do not believe your own mind here. Your mind is clouded by fear, insecurity, and neediness. That is totally normal and understandable, but you cannot resolve your problems from such a place. From such a place your problems will get worse as you start to blame the world and solidify your victim worldview with cherry-picked evidence, "science", and "logic". Be extra suspicious of "logic" and "science" here. There is nothing logical or scientific about your victim attitude or lack of success with women. It's purely about meeting the survival needs of your ego. Sex is a very powerful survival need which will drive your mind towards all manner of mental gymnastics to ensure that you get it, or at least feel better for not getting it.
There's good news and bad news. The good news is: Your looks are NOT the problem! The bad news is: your personality, attitude, and mindset are terrible! The good news is, it's possible to change that. The bad news is, it won't be easy and you will resist it like the devil that you are.
So what's the solution? Take ownership of your problem and commit to resolving it. For this you need faith and confidence in your ability to self-actualize. You must have enough hope and vision to see yourself get much better with attracting women. This is NOT a pipe dream or fuzzy thinking. The reality is that any man can become 100x better at attracting women if he really takes ownership of the matter. Yes, it takes serious work. But it's also highly worth it. Imagine that within 3 years you're able to attract pretty women and feel confident about yourself when it comes to dating. Isn't that worth the effort? It sure is. This is not a fantasy. I've done it, many men have done it, and so can you! Your looks are NOT the bottleneck, your mindset is.
So what do you do after you've established this vision? You must do lots of research to educate yourself about how dating actually work (not how you think it works). Find videos, find books, buy online courses, hire a coach, take a bootcamp, take a workshop, etc. There are literally hundreds of excellent resources available online these days. Most of them are legit, not scams. Study them hard and then get into the field. Start talking to women. Start approaching women. Start flirting with women. Start being much more social.
If you struggle attracting women I can tell you right now what your top problems are. It's not lack of money, looks, muscles, car, height, or dick size. Remember, attraction and dating is EXTREMELY counter-intuitive. It's works exactly the opposite of how you initially think.
Your top problems are:

You live in your mancave and never go out! You must go out into social spaces where real women hang out.

You spend WAY too much time online, indoors

You spend WAY too much time on Youtube, Netflix, and playing video games

You work too much

You are never around cute single women

You never start conversations with strangers

You have terrible body language due to lack of experience

You are not comfortable doing small-talk and being emotional and random in conversations

You are far too logical

You approach zero women on a regular basis

You are terrified of approaching a women who you find attractive, talking yourself out of every approach

You have terrible eye contact, you don't smile, and you don't project your voice properly

You are crippled by fear and tongue-tied

You are unable to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a human being

You are disconnected from your body, your heart, your feelings, your emotions

You have terrible self-image issues. You hate yourself, you hate how you look, you judge yourself way too harshly. You judge yourself just as harshly as you judge women.

You have a bad sense of dress style and you don't groom yourself well

You have no experience with physically touching women in a non-creepy way. You don't know how to rapidly physically escalate on a women without creeping her out.

You don't know how women think or what they truly value in a man

You don't know how to flirt and be authentic

You are trying to be masculine in all the wrong ways -- fake masculinity

You are needy, needy, needy

You are terribly inexperienced

You have no sense of passion or purpose in life, which robs you of confidence and masculine vitality

Your attitude sucks: you whine, complain, bitch, moan, blame, and are so negative

You think you understand life, reality, and how attraction works -- you don't!

So work on fixing all of that before you go blaming women. All of the above can be deliberately worked on and fixed.
You need to learn how to be a real man. Being a real man has nothing to do with big muscles, big dick, or a fast car. A real man is grounded on the INSIDE. It's ALL about inner game! You need to cultivate that confidence. It doesn't come naturally. You must build it!
80% of getting good with women is just actually being much more social. You need to deliberately re-structure your life so that you're automatically being more social. So that you're going out every weekend. So that you're bumping into new people constantly. So that you're making new friends all the time. This kind of re-structuring is very doable. You just have to be willing to change your lifestyle.
And stop watching or listening to any of the following:

Jordan Peterson, MGTOW, RedPill, Incel material/forums/reddit

All of that is cancer of the mind. It's reinforcing your victim mindset and robbing you of your ability to change yourself.
I've been where you are. I know it's tough. But hang in there, hold your vision, have hope, get to work, and things will dramatically improve for you. You will become a new person by the end of this journey and you will be so proud of yourself. You will become a real man, not some whiny JP fanboy.
The #1 thing a real man does is take 100% responsibility for all his problems. A real man NEVER blames anyone, and certainly not women or feminism. A real man is a feminist. A real man fearlessly works on himself.
So start right there! Start by fixing that.

[StarStruck]

On 7/15/2020 at 10:36 PM, Leo Gura said:

So?

Now do that 5000 times.

You guys here are way too damn lazy. You want hot girls for free. Well, that will never happen.

Roll up your sleeves and get to work. Become a man. Right now you are a child.

What do you usually say?

[kagaria]

Oh the whole dating market. The first love is gold and others are only bronze. Because of all of the self-actualization shit and the malicious desires of attracting hot chicks or men. Nothing beats first innocent selfless love. Us humans are so fucking stupid. I wish I was not born a human being at all, For Example it would be so much better to be a tree than to having to deal with these superficial and narcissistic people.

'If it smells like dogshit everywhere you go, try looking under your feet'. Yep I looked there and it's fucking dark and evil. I hate myself. 

Edited July 19, 2020 by kagaria

[Don Wei]

@saish most redpill groups are very toxic, however there are a few wiser more conscious dating coaches who are different from the rest.

FitxFearless

AlphaMaleStrategies

MJgetright

[Don Wei]

@Don Wei@saish shit I accidently tagged myself

Thanks for this message, this is real good advice

[GroovyGuru]

@Don Wei Yeah I'm not sure about AMS that dude is pretty toxic in my opinion. He's EXTREMELY selfish and cares about absolutely nothing besides getting his di*k wet.