Life Transformation Documentation/Journal

[electroBeam]

Was questioning, what's the point of duality? Why is it there.

Then this massive explosion of compassion occurred. A love for all partial aspects of God, and a Will or desire to give them love. To share with them the realisation of self. Then it just occurred to me, that literally the entire dream is designed just to share the love and self realization. The dream is designed in its current form to spread the love. That's what maximising love means. ooooo that's overwhelming somehow even without being a human hahahaha.

So that's the point of... basically all action and movement. 

ohhhhhhh. And the entire journey I went on was specifically designed for that purpose. 

I also had some petty issues, and I was wondering how to fully eliminate all fears and suffering. And this realization that everything is about spreading the love just blew them all away. Its like now I don't care about anything except helping spread the love.
 

I'm in a swirly love vortex where there's just Loving God, and spreading that love with myself through all the partial aspects of God. And its all about making the action to spread that love as best as possible. 

Edited September 20, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

the 2nd trip report here(created a month or 2 ago) is exactly where "I'm at" now, and its exactly what I want to embody deeper. Its crazy how that trip report perfectly describes now. 

Especially, grace or complete surrender to the point that reality is just flowing completely freely. 

And complete letting go of all suffering and discomfort and pain.

And letting go to the point that love can just out-pour seamlessly to others, completely effortless, but effective helping others. 

Quote

If i was to summarise this in a sentence, I would say its compete and utter harmony with the dream and form. My identification is not the body or the entity/humanistic identity, its an identity that encompasses the entire present moment. Its like the entire present moment is my body. The human body, and all its other components, is just 1 cog out of a trillion. 

My 'ego' has blended into the present moment/dissolved. I feel like I have just blended into the present moment/consciousness. Just dissolved into it completely. 

There's no resistance at all. Its(awareness) completely smooth. Hence why I summarise it as completely harmonious. Everything that's happening in the present moment is working together perfectly. 

There's no humaness going on here. No resistance. No fighting. No human reactions (like shock or jealousy or guilt or judgement or anything) its like I the human isn't even there. Its completely dissolved. The body is like a finger apart of a bigger whole. 

Complete surrender of everything, for everything. Complete, absolutely complete surrender. 

I am like a designer/master engineer whose piecing everything together with the soul goal of making the most love possible. I'm working with the present moment more smoothly then I work with anyone else, more smoothly than my parents, best colleagues, etc. Its like all the parts of the present moment (God's employees) are all so on board with God's vision that they all just work perfectly. Its like a perfectly working tribe. Tbh seeing how well all the parts of God are working together right now is making me shed tears a bit. Its... like watching a company that has the pure goal of making everyone feel loved, and all the employees are dedicating their entire life to it for little pay, and they are all so loving and so alturistic that they are all just working together without fighting at all, and they are doing an extremely effective job, with absolutely no desire for credit for their work. They have no ego and they are just working perfectly together. And this has been happening all along. This is so unexpected. I feel very grateful. 

I get this strong sense of purple stage shamaness, integrating and being fully in harmony with nature... except expand it to the entire dream/universe. Everything, literally everything in the present moment and dream... the sun, the planets, dark matter, my story, all the reincarnations, my past, my future, the ego, the devil, is all working together absolutely perfectly to architect the perfect solution for maximising love. All of those things ^^ are god's employees working perfectly passionately, perfect communication, perfect integration, perfect intelligence, perfect mastery, to make maximum love.

Helping others, being alturistic, is literally anti ego. And its better than being egoic. 

Things are just happening. No need to think about it or question it or stop and worry about it or anything like that. It just happens. Because its perfectly smooth/no resistance. 

It knows EXACTLY how to maximize love. It knows the perfect blueprint/engineering design to make absolute love happen. 

There's this huge sense of perfectness. Like maximumness. Like ultimately perfect. Like can't get any more perfect. The design to produce absolute love can't be improved, its literally the best it can possibly be. Like that's what the present moment/consciousness literally is. Its literally perfect design of maximum love. 

Huge sense of loving everything. Unconditionally. And its not doing it for fun. Its doing it because ITS IMPORTANT TO DO SO. Its a very visionary, noble, drive to love unconditionally. God really fucken sees and is aware of the massive, massive, massive, massive importance of loving everything unconditionally. Its like a super important mission to do so. Its like very very noble and necessary. Its the ONLY important thing to do in this universe, everything else is not important. 

The significance of helping others, having no ego and dissolving with the present moment and just working with the present moment perfectly to achieve perfect love has really hit me in this 'trip'. I've just been hit with the deep deep deep deep deep deep deep signficance and importance and necessity of being alturistic and working with god and all his little minions collectively to achieve perfect love and harmony(gosh that sounds so SD green in retrospect hahaha....). 

Deep Deep Deep Deep sense of gratefulness and 'togetherness'. No aloneness going on at all. I do not feel like I am God all alone at all. I feel like I'm connecting with a trillion of God's little minions/dreams and we all have the same desire, the same goals, we all love each other and we are all just trying to help each other with massive passion to do so. And we are all willing to completely let go and surrender everything for each other to help each other out.

Absolutely 0 arrogance, 100% humility, there's 0 space for hatred, or judgement, or anything egoic. Its completely alturism. Completely help other. That's it, help other with massive passion. No credit or laziness, just help other and that's it.

Perfect motivation and passion comes from 0 resistance. Passion and motivation increases as resistance decreases. Resistance IS ego. Resistance is identification with body mind. Less identification with body mind, more passion and motivation. 

Also this is what I want to embody: 

As Nahm answered here, shadow work, healing, trauma, spiritual development, whatever, at the universal identification level means helping others, along with your physical avatar, as a whole. So also allowing the love to outpour to others, and deepening that possibility, is also what I want. 

 

Other note: false identification = suffering. Simple as that. No false identification, no suffering. More false identification is release, less suffering there is. 

Edited September 21, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

So still lots of work to be done. Noticed something interesting though:

1. My desire for knowledge from external sources is social conditioning. What I truly want to do is rest in infinity/unconditional love. There is no need to look at external sources to figure out how to do that. Just fricken do it. 

2. There are lots of 'subtle dualities' which need to be dissolved or released. For example I can see myself in other humans, yet if a spider is about to bite me, I the state where you see everything as you goes away. To deepen the experience, you need to see God in things even when it threatens the body. 

3. There is still slight agendas that pop up here and there that stop the full release and free flowing of consciousness. 

4. certain work can reduce the non dual state. 

5. still have a very active and problematic mind. Still thoughts going like nuts. 

To 'solve' this, honestly, you know how to do it. You don't have to read books or ask people. What works for you is: contemplation, letting go, feeling the body. placing feeling over thought. That's it. That works like a charm. Just do it. 

Recount of waking up process:

Insanity and going crazy and dissolving states of consciousness, etc. is just waking up to the fact that appearances are all there is, and you are the appearances. And the appearances are intelligent love. 

Yet the ego did not realise this. The ego cannot fathom such a state of consciousness. And so the only thing it thinks when waking up happens is 'insanity'. Insanity means undefined to the ego. 

The last moments of waking up were as follows: Ego felt like it was retiring, dying, much the same feeling as being in palliative care. It also felt like it was gonna explode. Or the entire universe would. It also thought it was going insane and into a hospital ward (because it didn't understand undefined). Yet as soon as waking up happened, the identity died with all of the fears it had. And so no matter how freaked out it was, it didnt matter in the end, because its fears died along with it.

But even after waking up, the body was complaining. Every night after waking up, a massive massive rush of energy filled the body up. It was massive bright dissolving energy. It was dissolving shit at the rate of knots. There was a very high amount of existential fear... but no one to care. And so the existential fear was there, but it was detached. And the energy was allowed to do its thing as consciousness just peacefully watched.

But even after waking up, there is still lots of identification and ego that needs to be shed. As described above. 

Edited September 22, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

Insight:

belief is literally a placeholder for lack of understanding/consciousness. To limit the universal mind, you separate it so that you're only conscious of part of it. The other parts, that you're not conscious of, are filled with beliefs to fill up the vacuum.

So if you feel a belief, that's a sign that you're feeling an air pocket/vacuum of consciousness, and you ought to contemplate it, let go of the beliefs, feel it, to pop the consciousness out of it. And that's literally how raising of consciousness occurs.

Beliefs are different to thoughts. Beliefs are thoughts that you think are true. They make up the truth of your reality. 

How to spot a belief? Whenever a thought or phenomena or aspect of reality feels dull, negative, limited, depressing, sad, not true, 'something missing here', confusing, boring, irritating, scary, hurtful, hopeless, deadly, evil, bad. 

Edited September 23, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

Super weird and hilarious state of consciousness.

I feel like the entire game is just gonna stop. Like the dreaming will stop. The dream is over. And this isn't scary, this is fucken hilarious. Because I never ever, in my entire life, contemplated the possibility that the game could just stop bahahahahah. 

There's no ego to care about the game stopping. About the dreaming ending. Its just gonna eventually happen bahahahahahhaha. 

And this feels super radical. I thought the previous experience was radical. Fuck no. If the previous experience was an ego death, then this is a god death. God dying. Of course God isn't dying, but the entire dream as a whole is gonna die. Which again is fucken hilarious. Because I just never thought the dream could die.

I literally don't care about work, or anything else, because its gonna cease to exist bahahahahahhaha. It is literally a physical death. Its gunpoint, except with the entire universe, not just electroBeam.

electroBeam isn't just about to die, but everyone is bahahahahha. All at once. 

Fucken nuts this shit is. 

[electroBeam]

Holy shit.

What is suffering? Its literally, LITERALLY diversion from truth. It is LITERALLY discord from truth. It is LITERALLY avoiding truth. It is LITERALLY running away from truth. 

And one very good example of diversion from truth, is believing you have free will. 

what is free will?

the belief that you can divert from the truth. 

 

How do you end suffering?

By not believing you can divert from the truth. 

 

What does that mean practically?

 that question assumes free will

 

Go into the eye of the storm ~ bashar. 

 

The procedure:

1. identify what you(ego) wants.

2. recognise what you(ego) wants is literally not the truth.

3. let go of what you(ego) wants. 

Edited September 24, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

Doer vs Non Doer

A doing can still happen without the I thought. The I thought is not needed to do. You can do through consciousness itself, you don't need an I thought to do stuff. 

Motivations have since been through stimulation of ego/I thought. Chasing what the I thought reacts positively to. This leads to endless suffering though as the I thought can never be satisfied, and true satisfaction is not listening to the I thought and dropping it all together. 

You have 3 main projects you're working on this year. (1) Health and trauma reduction (2) deepening conscious knowing of the universe (3) Carrying out a fulfilling career. The vision and direction of each category will be fuelled not by karma/ego/I but rather directly by consciousness's free will/doing. Fuelled by what consciousness wants to do, rather than what the I wants to do. Consciousness works differently to the I whereby doing a particular thing rather than another thing isn't propagated through what feels better and what feels worse, but rather by following a deep knowing, conscious understanding of what should be done. You don't feel better/worse by doing one thing rather than the other if consciousness follows itself(rather than the I) but you feel in align with truth. You feel a deeper sense of embodiment with your true nature, a deeper sense of awakening, more deeply in touch with the present, more deeply in touch with what consciousness is, more deeply in touch with wisdom and intelligence. 

A giving up of chasing happiness and running away from suffering is occurring. Its now easier to just accept the feelings of suffering instead of trying to manipulate myself out if it now. In the past it seemed easier to manipulate your way out of suffering instead of accepting it, but now its not like that. 

Any egoic reactions to the present, such as suffering, dislike, judgement, hatred, feeling guilty, shameful, etc. Is now being dropped as it arises, and the present is accepted along with a grounding in that knowing of truth and knowing what it is that consciousness should be doing. That knowing is taking precedence over the egoic reactions of happiness and suffering. 

Now its more important then ever to put kriya in clarifying and being always in touch with that knowing. And allowing the embodiment of that knowing to guide the doing and actions that consciousness should. The core of those actions are compassion for others. Spreading love. 

Edited October 12, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

Beautiful Insight About My Suffering And Struggle Over Procrastination And The Implications of Specialisation vs Generalisation

Preface

Procrastination has been a huge one for me in this life. I just couldn't seem to crack it for a long time. I tried many things to overcome it from diet, discipline training like putting a rubber band on your had when you procrastinated, apps that would hide facebook and youtube, meditation, yoga, visualisation and vision boarding, etc. None of it did the trick and I was just left grating on my low self esteem over how I couldn't crack this to the level I wanted. It was a massive massive burden for me, I had low self esteem because of it. I didn't feel right about myself and about the effort I was putting into my work. 

I half cracked it about 2 years ago, but even still it was no where near the level I wanted. 

The other problem I had, which was related to procrastination, was I genuinely wanted to be a polymath like Leonardo Da Vinci, but everyone around me told me I had to specialise. This deeply deeply depressed me because since I could remember I use to just love to follow my curiosity wherever that took me, and that took me all over the place. From culture, to politics, to art, to biology, to understanding relationships, to physics, to engineering, to humanities and history... I jumped around subjects a lot in high school from it. Couldn't pick a subject. 

Insight

I genuinely don't care about specialisation, and I'm willing to sacrifice survival for it... that's it. And that is because (and this is the insight) it takes an ego to specialise. God doesn't, God cares about absolutely everything, from sport to fashion to design to media to engineering to science to cooking to health to politics to gym to emotions to relationships to friendships to outer space, and everything inbetween. It is letting go of the need to specialise, or the need to like X more then Y or to like Z and not P, which is what you want. It may seem like that means embracing stuff that doesn't feel good, toxic stuff, etc. If you believe some things are toxic, but the other beauty with fully letting go of the need to specialise or like something over something else, is finally, you develop the ability to see the beauty of everything, and to drop or dismiss the toxic stuff or stuff you don't like about that particular thing. You can watch sport, which is largely toxic, and just see the love and Goodness of it. 

It is fundamentally egoic to like and dislike, or to specialise. To say I like X but not Y... by liking one thing over another, you carve out an egoic identity about what you are, and what you aren't. What you like, and what you don't. And yet the problem with that is you're always going to be missing something, feeling a lack, not have a deep understanding or a deep knowing or a deep being of the universe if you cut some part of the universe from your agenda. 

It feels good to specialise, because by specialising you can form some expertise and some definition about knowing or developing yourself. If you carve yourself out as the scientist, you've got some special knowledge about science that others dont have. If you carve yourself out as the pickup god, you have some special knowledge/skill about pickup that others dont have. By being the music artist, you define yourself as a hot singer and thats what makes you better then everyone else. It makes you feel like you have something valuable that makes you important and worthy of others. And by defining yourself you form a sense of clarity about who you are which makes you feel real.

But what's even better then specialising yourself, is to fully let it go and be completely generalist. The catch is you wont have any valuable skill or knowledge to cling onto that makes you worthy and important. And you wont know who you are, as the universe you'll be 100% mysterious. Never know thyself. But you'll be free from the egoic need to maintain your definition and the rat race to keep building up that expert knowledge. You'll be free to follow your intuition instead of thoughts. You can research and try whatever you want. Be whatever you want, without any limits. But the most important advantage of this way of life is, you'll finally be free to fall in love with yourself/the universe, without limits. You could fall in love with yourself over and over. You wont be blocked from falling in love with a particular aspect of yourself (like sport) because its not in line with your definition that you've carved out, you'll be free to do it. 

But the even BETTER, BEST, BEST part about this new way of life, is its infinite. That definition you carved out... that'll end one day... its finite. But dropping out that definition and just following your curiosity and being completely free to research, explore, try out and be absolutely everything this world has to offer(at the cost of not being anyone and not obtaining valuable knowledge) is you can't loose it. Because its not something to grasp onto or obtain, its just being what you are. 

And that doesn't even mean that you need to chuck away your career that you've been specialising in for so long. Because by being everything (infinite) it INCLUDES specialising in a particular field of work... it just doesn't limit to that. You've got a field of study AND passion and perusal of other fields like cooking, relationships, health, etc.

And I don't know why, but this insight really brought me to tears. I just saw that my procrastination issue was actually just a desire to be everything, to fall in love with all aspects of myself, instead of a deranged little part of it. And it was my desire to be worthy, valuable and to hold onto skill and knowledge that was causing me to label such activities as 'procrastination'. In the end I just had to let go of the labeller, not the labelled. And I never had to drop my desire to be a polymath, because you can do both: be a polymath and specialise in your field of study.

 

The best part about life, is when you finally realise the problem wasn't the world you were born in, the people you're around, the genetics you had, the misfortune you had, the unfairness of society... but rather it was you. It was your beliefs and attitude and agenda. And the solution wasn't to change your genetics, or change your environment, or change yourself to make you a hotter or better person... but the solution was to drop you, your beliefs, agendas and attitude, because life already had it figured out for you, already 100% completely and utterly loved you and wanted the best for you and gave you the best, it was just hidden because you were in the way. The biggest battle, the most horrible battle, the toughest battle, is fighting you. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by electroBeam

[electroBeam]

Just became 100% conscious that approval from others, and connecting with others, even tiny bits, will 100% not fulfil me. I just saw an alternative reality where I had 0 care about approval for others, I had 0 care about connecting with others... I just cared about getting lost in reality/love/myself, and I just saw that this is the point. To drop the need to get approval or connection of others and to just focus that energy into letting go and getting lost in yourself. 

Man what a fucken beautiful/powerful realisation that is for being happy. Just completely give up/surrender on everything to do with 'other'. Derive all of your satisfaction and enjoyment from your inner world.

I think the biggest insight here is contrary to popular opinion, sharing insights or love is NOT the way to be happy. Which is very very contrary to popular opinion because all teachers talk about giving love to others... but no. I now have the self confidence to state with certainty that sharing love, insights or wisdom leads to suffering. Because the only reason why you share them is because you expect or at the very least hope that those insights get through to imaginary 'others' and changes them and makes them better. Who can seriously argue that sharing wisdom is not conditional? Even advanced spiritual teachers, who can seriously argue that? None of them. They are playing the game by pretending to be the spiritual teacher. And that game is great but its finite and conditional. There's no guarantee that you will touch someone with your wisdom. And it mostly doesn't happen anyway. Most of the time people are just too close minded, arrogant, ignorant and trying to help them is just disappointing, a waste of time. Its like playing a poker machine, 9 times out of 10 they are too arrogant, 1 time out of 10 they are very touched by it, and its just a toxic game of hoping that you provide value to them. And lets face it, you don't even actually provide value to them, because they are imaginary. They aren't actually there. The only one that's actually there is You and you are already enlightened, you can't be helped. You've been helped and are at the destination. Its complete.

Instead you can just share if you feel like it, but minus all the expectation and hope crap. Minus everything to do with result. That's all dualistic bullshit. It doesn't matter whether they are touched or offended. And it never did matter anyway. 

And connecting with others... the white elephant in the room... Another thing contrary to popular opinion. Connecting to others is dualistic and leads to suffering. Getting lost in the present moment/God/Love/Yourself IS a trillion times more valuable then connecting with others. 

And what really nails this in the coffin for me is... if I deep down ask myself what I TRULY want, what I truly want has nothing to do with connecting with others, or approval of others. What I truly want is 100% solitary. Not physically going in a cave, but 100% solitary when I'm working, when I'm in relationships, when I'm hanging out with friends, when I'm in nature. I just want to be all alone in my universal mind. No need to share what's going on to get a kick out of the reactions of others, just fully immerse and delve into the feelings that arise within me. There's nothing that satisfies me beyond solitary, and solitary has everything I could possibly want, and more. It was the only place that satisfied me.

Just cut all those subtle dualities out, all of the ones about others. Just focus on the feeling within universal mind. Your entire life revolving around solitary. That's what you want. And the best part about the solitary, is its infinite. Everything beyond the solitary is finite. You can't loose the solitary, just all the stuff beyond it. 

The lower self wants to connect with others and approval and material possessions. But the trick is its not what your higher self wants. Its not the MOST fulfilling thing to do. When you ask whats the MOST (not what is fulfilling, what is the MOST fulfilling) its solitary. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by electroBeam

[KingEnergy]

31 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

 

32 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

 

And connecting with others... the white elephant in the room... Another thing contrary to popular opinion. Connecting to others is dualistic and leads to suffering. Getting lost in the present moment/God/Love/Yourself IS a trillion times more valuable then connecting with others. 

 

Like others are not also the Self/Present moment. This is a bullshit duality you are making that may change your life forever. “Connecting to others is dualistic and leads to suffering” sounds like some childhood trauma stuff. A truly enlightened being is always in the world and with others because he realised that is the same as dreaming away in your mind. Thats why the last ox picture, after all the spiritual stuff, is just “in the world”. Just look at Sadhguru for example. Hes always talking to people and travelling without it ever interfering with his spirituality. Im not saying its bad to seek solitude, but dont act like its because that is just a spiritual fact that it is better.

This whole post stinks of sneaky ego narratives, sorry but I have to say it bro. You are clearly not as awake as how your stories on this forum portray you. Sometimes you seem psychotic, and believe me bro I’ve seen some psychotic shit it’s not like I do not relate. But to be honest you seem like a deluded fella.

Also, connecting with others is not done out of the lower self. How do you even come up with that. Truth is Love and that is the highest Self. This Self embraces everything and doesn’t make a difference between “inner world” and “others”. I also share your desire to be more by myself and my inner world, but I’m not deluding myself that this is the higher self talking.

Sorry if this post come off harsh but this is what I think.

[electroBeam]

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

 

Like others are not also the Self/Present moment.

Others don't exist. Literally. It seems like this may be triggering you somehow.

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

This is a bullshit duality you are making that may change your life forever.

You don't know yet what 'life' is.

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

 “Connecting to others is dualistic and leads to suffering” sounds like some childhood trauma stuff.

Well I've had many friends in the past, great friends, but they didn't fulfill me. All of those friends I had deeply healthy relationships with.

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

A truly enlightened being is always in the world and with others because he realised that is the same as dreaming away in your mind. Thats why the last ox picture, after all the spiritual stuff, is just “in the world”. Just look at Sadhguru for example. Hes always talking to people and travelling without it ever interfering with his spirituality. Im not saying its bad to seek solitude, but dont act like its because that is just a spiritual fact that it is better.

That's your bias, there's people more enlightened then sadhguru who sit in a cave all day in the himalayas trying to reach mahasamadhi.

And besides that, you've misinterpreted what I've written (because I wrote that post for me, not to communicate to you). On the outside I'm still going to seem like I'm connecting with others. I'm still going to go to parties, still going to socialise with work friends, still going to hang out with my friends who do psychedelics, but I'm going to do it from a place of solitary. And you'll never understand what that is, until you're God realized. When you get God realized, and actually realize there are no others, then this post will make more sense. 

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

This whole post stinks of sneaky ego narratives, sorry but I have to say it bro. You are clearly not as awake as how your stories on this forum portray you. Sometimes you seem psychotic, and believe me bro I’ve seen some psychotic shit it’s not like I do not relate. But to be honest you seem like a deluded fella.

Well this is a very good thing to bring up... I've gone so deep into this stuff now that even pretending to connect with others cannot work. 

Like you just need to think logically, if there's no ego, how are you being triggered right now? Clearly my post (and this is obvious to anyone who has done awakening work) is triggering ego defence mechanism within you. Particularly around connecting with others. Connecting with others is such a deeply held social programming instinct(because its needed for survival) that you can't recognise its not truth.

And besides, how I seem to you (and how you seem to me) is ALWAYS delusion, because you're not seeing the real me, you're seeing your own projections and biases. The real me is infinite love/formlessness. Everything else is stuff you're creating as God. And most of it at your stage of the journey is bias.

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

 

Also, connecting with others is not done out of the lower self. How do you even come up with that. Truth is Love and that is the highest Self. This Self embraces everything and doesn’t make a difference between “inner world” and “others”. I also share your desire to be more by myself and my inner world, but I’m not deluding myself that this is the higher self talking.

It embraces everything except for delusion. Because delusion isn't actually there. And connecting with others isn't actually there. Its delusion. Because there simply isn't any others. Go take 10 grams of mushrooms and see how you're all alone in the universe if you dare to understand what im saying here... but clearly you're not. 

Again you misunderstood me because you aren't clear on what others are. You invented others, you're imagining others. As God you're free to stop imagining others at the flick of a switch. You aren't aware of how radical this work is because your ego survival mechanisms are kicking in.

I'm not saying that I wont talk to someone again, I'm writing to you right now, but in my universal mind, you are not an 'other'. You are something I'm imagining, and I have no intention of 'connecting with you'. I just have the intention to get lost in the feelings of this post, minus the content and connection bullshit. To talk to you from a place of solitary. You can't understand that unless you go very deep in this work. 

7 hours ago, KingEnergy said:

 

Sorry if this post come off harsh but this is what I think.

You're free to have your own opinions  one of the beauties of living from solitary is it doesn't matter what others think, so long as you're happy within the universal mind. And everything that's satisfying comes from solitary anyway. So you can't go wrong. Solitary is all there is, so its with you all the time, you can't get disapproval from it because its You, and yet it was the only thing that fulfilled you in the end. How fucken amazing is that.

[KingEnergy]

@electroBeam I know "Others don't exist" Because "Other" is just a label you put on things which are not your "self". It's not like the keyboard i'm typing on doesn't exist, even though my ego frames it as "other". Don't assume I haven't had deep trips because I have. I know I imagined everything. However this "I" doesn't actually exist in the physical, its completely formless. So your relative points versus mine don't matter at all in this context. When you are saying to me that I am just a thing you are imagining its just another ego narrative. There is zero difference between the imaginer and the imagined.

Also, God clearly embraces/loves delusion. How else did you get here?

Edited November 16, 2020 by KingEnergy

[electroBeam]

1 hour ago, KingEnergy said:

@electroBeam It's not like the keyboard i'm typing on doesn't exist, even though my ego frames it as "other".

Its not other though. It really really really isn't other though. Saying its other is insanely absurd. Its psychotic/schizophrenic. People early on the path use such terms to help them on their journey, but you drop that shit real fast because you begin to see how absurd it is. Again you're not going far enough, probably out of fear of going insane. 

1 hour ago, KingEnergy said:

Don't assume I haven't had deep trips because I have.

Leo will disagree with me on this, but it doesnt matter how deep your trips are. Your trips aint truth. Truth is being. You're not going to get anything I write in my journal just through psychedelics, you gotta get to psychedelic levels sober. 

1 hour ago, KingEnergy said:

@electroBeam There is zero difference between the imaginer and the imagined.

Correct

1 hour ago, KingEnergy said:

@electroBeam When you are saying to me that I am just a thing you are imagining its just another ego narrative.

Completely absurd. electroBeam IS imagination. That's the TRUTH. Its not an ego narrative, its the TRUTH. ElectroBeam is made of the same stuff as the unicorn you're imagining in your head. Saying I'm different or made of different stuff to the imaginary unicorn in your head is nonsense. I'm no more real than a unicorn. My entire creation is of the level of a unicorn. Saying you want to connect with me is the same as saying you want to connect with a unicorn. It feels different to you to say you want to connect with a unicorn vs connecting with a human because your survival mechanism skew towards connecting with humans and not unicorns, if you reincarnate into a unicorn in your next life, you'll be deeply offended by me saying I don't want to connect with unicorns anymore.

Quote

Also, God clearly embraces/loves delusion. How else did you get here?

Your eyes can see the light, but cannot see the darkness.

You got here because you wanted to. You have infinite free will, and you can use that to divert yourself from the truth if you want. And clearly you have. But you don't have to divert from the truth, that's your choice. But isn't that obvious, when you get angry at your girlfriend for something that was your fault, you got angry at her because you chose to. You didn't have to, you could have been more mature, but you used your free will to be a dick. That's your entire suffering in a nutshell, you using your free will to screw yourself up. Its not a god thing, or a truth embracing thing, its a you being an idiot thing. 

Without free will/infinity you couldn't be self aware, so free will/infinity is necessary. Your ability to use it to be an idiot is an achilles heel of free will that's unfortunately necessary to allow waking up to happen. 

Edited November 16, 2020 by electroBeam

[KingEnergy]

No, delusion is Gods free will  to experience everything, so it is a God thing. How can God love the human experience without deluding itself to actually think it it human.

[electroBeam]

29 minutes ago, KingEnergy said:

No, delusion is Gods free will  to experience everything, so it is a God thing. How can God love the human experience without deluding itself to actually think it it human.

You're God so you have the free will to believe whatever you want

If you want to believe that delusion is God's free will to experience everything, the you go for it! Look you're using your free will to believe that crap now!

You think this spiritual stuff is some truth somewhere out there in the world that you've got to discover? Some profound truth out there in some trip about how God is deluded to experience itself? Lol no! God is you! God is now! God is extremely obvious. Hello you're being deluded because you want to! Obviously! The truth is now, its exactly what you're feeling now. If you want to believe that you're suffering is necessary because of some story about god wanting to experience itself, then thats your idiocy.

Edited November 16, 2020 by electroBeam

[flume]

Matt Kahn once said that Truth is a staircase, where every revelation leads you to an even bigger one. That you'll wake up out of every realisation you've ever had and that the only thing that matters is that you keep going. An insight is useful for the moment you had it, then it's already integrating to prepare you for the next one. If you cling, defend and hold on, something that has previously set you free now becomes your next prison.

Keep going my friend. I enjoy reading your spacey journal. All the love!

[KingEnergy]

@electroBeam I don’t care about suffering much, I care about exploring this life to the fullest, which includes awakenings but also many other things.

It’s really only delusion and idiocy when looking at it from the absolute perspective. Bach’s music is pure delusion and illusion yet people have spent years studying and enjoying his music. The divinity of life and God is to be found in everything you observe.

In the absolute sense of course the spiritual path is the least delusional path since you are looking for absolute truth. But just calling things delusional when living life and not enjoying what you want to enjoy is the biggest delusion of all. Obviously God doesn’t point at an animal and screams; “illusion” as if to denounce it. The distinction of illusion and truth doesn’t exist in the mind of God and thats how the entire universe can exist.

[electroBeam]

9 minutes ago, KingEnergy said:

@electroBeam It’s really only delusion and idiocy when looking at it from the absolute perspective. Bach’s music is pure delusion and illusion yet people have spent years studying and enjoying his music. 

Bach's music isn't delusion, its pure Love

thinking its not is delusional

 

[electroBeam]

3 hours ago, flume said:

Matt Kahn once said that Truth is a staircase, where every revelation leads you to an even bigger one. That you'll wake up out of every realisation you've ever had and that the only thing that matters is that you keep going. An insight is useful for the moment you had it, then it's already integrating to prepare you for the next one. If you cling, defend and hold on, something that has previously set you free now becomes your next prison.

Keep going my friend. I enjoy reading your spacey journal. All the love!

spot on! gotta keep that energy circulating

 yeah if you ever need a space ride, just come on over

[electroBeam]

Insight

For the past few months I've been working in a job that I use to love but don't anymore, and haven't been able to leave it. You could describe it a little bit like an eternal hell, a hell where I can't get out of it till I take the lesson that I'm stupidly not seeing. The lesson finally came to me... what you want isn't to achieve a goal, physical manifestation, change of environment, or state, or obtaining knowledge, or obtaining a state of consciousness, but rather what you want is to rest in the release of suffering. And resting in any other place (like visions for the future about any sort of manifestations) distracts you from the resting of release of suffering. If you're suffering from cleaning the house, just rest in cleaning the house. That's way more fulfilling then working towards some goal like some mystical state of consciousness or a big house or whatever tickles ya fancy.

For me personally, my desire to have something other then the now was causing suffering. And it was also the cause of procrastination. By submitting to whatever is now, I returned to peace. So if I'm doing work and hoping that the work is good enough to satisfy my boss, that hoping is the cause of suffering and procrastination. Once I accepted that my boss might like or hate what I did, and also accept the fact that even though what I'm doing now sucks and I want to be meditating right now instead, and just suck it up, I was in peace and the procrastination subsided.

Chasing happiness and running away from suffering doesn't really make sense to me anymore... or to truly chase happiness requires me to not chase happiness but to rest in the release of suffering.

There's really nothing else to do but sacrifice your wants and needs to help someone else get their wants and needs. Or in other words, kill yourself to repay others' sins. Which is sort of the same as altruism, sacrificing something you have to give it to someone else. So in other words, if there are 2 places in the world, the peasant and the king, and there are 2 embryos that will go into either place, pick the peasant so that the other can be the king. And this is actually the most fulfilling decision because its true freedom. There's nothing to loose. The king will spend his entire life addicted to material possession, while the peasant spends his entire life in hell so that the king can have those possessions. The peasant spends his entire life in default altruism (by sacrificing his place as a king to the other embryo) and because its altruism its permanence, giving instead of taking, love instead of hate, letting go and detachment over attachment and holding on, spiritual rather than anti spiritual.

What's been making me feel really really good lately has been the idea that whenever I suffer, I'm taking a place of suffering so that others don't have to go through it. I'm sacrificing my comfy life so that others can have a comfy life. This wouldn't make sense to a normie in a materialist paradigm, but makes sense from a non dual, infinite perspective because god IS infinity, and so you must be every situation, and by me taking the hellish one, I allow another reincarnation to take the comfy one. This is a much more effective form of alturism, much more effective then donation or any worldly stuff, as the latter relies on delusional ideas of duality, the 3D world, etc.

And also psychedelic trips are not limited to substances. The universe as a whole is a psychedelic trip, and psychedelic plants and substances are 1 part of the psychedelic experience.

Edited December 1, 2020 by electroBeam