After Enlightenment

[Preety_India]

Maybe a video of what a person should do with himself/herself after Enlightenment. 

 

[Hardik]

Are you Enlightened?

[Preety_India]

 

5 hours ago, Hardik said:

Are you Enlightened?

What a stupid question. Am I asking it because I'm enlightened? Did I even say that? Did I even mention that? 

Read the post carefully again instead of deliberately trying to misinterpret me. The post is about what people should do post enlightenment.  I never said what I should do. 

Don't bring your self bias to me. 

So I can't even talk about enlightenment or enlightened people now because I'm not enlightened?

 

Edited July 15, 2020 by Preety_India

[nistake]

Maybe check out Adyashanti's book about this topic:

https://www.amazon.com/End-Your-World-Uncensored-Enlightenment/dp/1591797799

I only read some of his other books, but they're brilliant. I'm sure this one is also spot on.

[Preety_India]

 

@nistake thanks. 

 

[fi1ghtclub]

46 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

What a stupid question. Am I asking it because I'm enlightened? Did I even say that? Did I even mention that? 

Read the post carefully again instead of deliberately trying to misinterpret me. The post is about what people should do post enlightenment.  I never said what I should do. 

Don't bring your self bias to me. 

So I can't even talk about enlightenment or enlightened people now because I'm not enlightened?

 

Hey Hey Hey!

Why are you getting so defensive?

I agree that it might be a stupid or naive question to your standards, but I'm sure it meant no harm. 

Which brings me to another point that is aimed at no one in particular

Is projection now gone beyond it's authentic limit and now used as a tool to attack each other in spirituality? - sorry if I'm derailing this thread but I'd just to put this out seeing your reply.

Edited July 15, 2020 by fi1ghtclub

[Preety_India]

 

2 minutes ago, fi1ghtclub said:

Why are you getting so defensive?

If someone attacks me covertly, I have the right to be defensive. 

If people are respectful to me, I'm respectful to them. 

I also meant no harm. I simply defended myself. 

If you don't see a problem with the question, you also shouldn't see any problem with my reply 

 

 

[fi1ghtclub]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

If someone attacks me covertly, I have the right to be defensive. 

If people are respectful to me, I'm respectful to them. 

I also meant no harm. I simply defended myself. 

If you don't see a problem with the question, you also shouldn't see any problem with my reply 

 

 

You just went completely defensive and started questioning someone's morals because that person asked a question

"Are you enlightened" - Just that one question. How does that strip you off  of any repsect unless you're building some castles of your own in your mind and attacking yourself.

I agree, that question might have been trigger worthy and I think you got triggered.

And if you post a thread titled "After Enlightenment", that's a logical question to ask imo

It doesn't even have to be personal unless you make it.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, fi1ghtclub said:

I agree, that question might have been trigger worthy and I think you got triggered.

And if you post a thread titled "After Enlightenment", that's a logical question to ask imo

It doesn't even have to be personal unless you make it.

One has to be sensitive and respectful while asking questions. The replies will also be respectful. 

Trollish questions will get Trollish replies 

 

The post doesn't say "me after Enlightenment." it simply says "after Enlightenment." that's just a general question. The reason it is misinterpreted is because that person is projecting their own shit on me so honestly I'm not wrong in being triggered. Many people get triggered by dumb trollish questions 

And yes it is personal because it's a personal question because that question contains the word "you" when the original post says nowhere the word " I." Yet that person found a way to make it personal. 

And maybe because it was personal it triggered me. 

Try not to trigger and be sensitive and respectful and don't make everything personal so maybe I won't feel the need to be defensive. 

Look at how the other user nistake didn't say anything trollish or insensitive. They simply gave me a link and resources that can be helpful to the thread/post instead of asking me ridiculous personal questions. Try to behave like that rather than turning every post I make into You vs Me. 

I responded calmly and politely and said thanks. Because that person didn't say anything personal or triggering or drama creating 

 

Look at the implications of a question like "are you Enlightened?" because  obviously that person knows no member on this forum is enlightened. So the question seems like a rhetorical way to mock me. What's the intention behind such a question when the person already knows that I'm not enlightened. The question can be implied in many ways. 

It can mean "why are you starting this post if you're not enlightened, are you thinking that you are that great?" so honestly it can feel like I'm being trolled or mocked. And some people, especially serious people like me, have low tolerance for being mocked.

It comes down to people's sensitivity. If you really want to have a productive conversation with someone, don't try to simply trigger that person or say biased things to that person. It will only cause that person to be defensive. Try to be sensitive to how that person is or else don't bother to have a conversation at all. Talk to people who are okay with whatever you say, don't talk to people who are sensitive to your tone or conversations. 

Look at how the thread gets derailed by simply triggering the person who is posted. It doesn't serve a purpose to mock a person. 

Deep down I might have got very offended by such a question. It's almost like someone is questioning my character. It can be implied in many ways. 

So perception is important. Different people will perceive things differently. Some people will take it as a joke, some people will get offended. It's nobody's fault. 

The thing is that if you're ready to ask disrespectful questions or mocking questions to people, also be ready to take their defensive replies.

If you are having a problem with accepting their defense, then also don't try to offend them. Be careful about how you say things so that it's not offensive to the other person. Learn to be sensitive. 

If you don't want people to be offended, well then don't offend them. 

If his intention was pure and he had genuine curiosity to carry the conversation he probably would have worded his question in a more reasonable manner like this 

"did you go through an enlightenment experience in your life. If yes, please share. I asked because you posted about enlightenment. I would love to know more." 

I wouldn't have become defensive if the question was asked with the intent to know something. 

But the question was worded as 

" are you enlightened? "  which automatically translates as 

" you really think you're enlightened to create such a post. "

That's where things go wrong. 

Like I said, I'm respectful to respectful people. 

I can easily see when someone is simply trying to trigger me versus someone who is seriously wanting a civil discussion with me 

Honestly such behavior is very cheap. Let's see I don't like someone on the forum, then I won't even talk to them. I will just avoid them rather than intentionally trying to trigger them on purpose. I mean how cheap is that. I would just leave them alone 

If that person who commented has a problem with my posts then they should not read my posts or not bother to reply in a triggering manner to me. The only purpose it serves is bringing out my defensive side and even derailing my thread. 

Plus constantly triggering to bring out my defensive side only serves one purpose - to make me look like a big bitch on the forum. 

 

 

I'm positive to positive people. I'm not positive to negative people. 

It's not my fault. I am nice to nice people. 

Be nice to me and I will be nice to you. This is same for everyone. 

 

[Harikrishnan]

There is a book by ralston in leo book list. Consciousness section. Its a wonderful read for people who had few satori. I am currently reading it.  (After enlightenment one decide for himself, one can choose whatever they want)

[Preety_India]

@Harikrishnan thank you. 

 

[fi1ghtclub]

@Preety_India Thanks for wrinting such a detailed reply.

I'm gonna go ahead and try to say some things that may or may not trigger you

I don't know how to say it in the nicest way possible and I'm still learning that art.

However do know, that I have genuine intentions. Sometimes the whole arrangement of the words might not be able to reflect that where you can call it out and both of us can learn.

30 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The post doesn't say "me after Enlightenment." it simply says "after Enlightenment." that's just a general question. The reason it is misinterpreted is because that person is projecting their own shit on me so honestly I'm not wrong in being triggered. Many people get triggered by dumb trollish questions 

The comments are also directed towards the person who posts. And the person who is posting should have a certain degree of openness to the questions that are posted. I can go on rebutting each and every paragraph. But that's not the point here.

If you're sensitive, you can also try taking into acccount that the other person behind the screen is not completey prone to criticism or a thick skinned either. 

Sensitivity isn't a fixed measure and you shouldn't be jumping to a conclusion before asking a few basic questions that can actually result in a more open and authentic conversation. 

Sometimes the other person might not know how to word a question in a manner that doesn't sound offensive. And if that's your concern, you can be vocal about it, instead of trying to pull down the entire self esteem of the one who's asking the question based on the sensitivity premise.

Otherwise yes, you do sound like a big bitch. Those are my two cents.

Thanks. I'm out.

[Preety_India]

 

37 minutes ago, fi1ghtclub said:

@Preety_India Thanks for wrinting such a detailed reply.

I'm gonna go ahead and try to say some things that may or may not trigger you

I don't know how to say it in the nicest way possible and I'm still learning that art.

However do know, that I have genuine intentions. Sometimes the whole arrangement of the words might not be able to reflect that where you can call it out and both of us can learn.

The comments are also directed towards the person who posts. And the person who is posting should have a certain degree of openness to the questions that are posted. I can go on rebutting each and every paragraph. But that's not the point here.

If you're sensitive, you can also try taking into acccount that the other person behind the screen is not completey prone to criticism or a thick skinned either. 

Sensitivity isn't a fixed measure and you shouldn't be jumping to a conclusion before asking a few basic questions that can actually result in a more open and authentic conversation. 

Sometimes the other person might not know how to word a question in a manner that doesn't sound offensive. And if that's your concern, you can be vocal about it, instead of trying to pull down the entire self esteem of the one who's asking the question based on the sensitivity premise.

Otherwise yes, you do sound like a big bitch. Those are my two cents.

Thanks. I'm out.

 

STOP USING ABUSIVE WORDS. 

 

[Ananta]

44 minutes ago, fi1ghtclub said:

Otherwise yes, you do sound like a big bitch.

Namecalling is against forum guidelines. 

[outlandish]

@fi1ghtclub watch your tone and language on this forum, that was not appropriate.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Isn't there a Zen saying something like 

Before enlightenment I chop wood and carry water

After Realization, I chop wood and carry water

 

i could easily be taking this out of its proper context and/or wording it wrong.

if anyone knows about this statement, please chime in.

[nistake]

21 hours ago, Hardik said:

Are you Enlightened?

This question can be interpreted in many ways.

#1: "Are you enlightened?" as "Do you really think you're enlightened? Do you honestly think you need to watch videos about after enlightenment?"

This one is obviously heavily sarcastic and mean.

#2: "Are you enlightened?" - Just a simple question with genuine interest. No harm whatsoever.

Knowing this forum, one can easily presume that the guy asked the question with the intention of #1. In that case, @Preety_India has every right to be upset. However, if the guy meant no harm (case #2) and was just simply curious, than the whole outrage is completely unjustified.

Just something to think about.

[Preety_India]

@nistake    I know that guy very well. He had tried contacting me in my inbox like a month (or more) ago and he was being very rude. I didn't reply to his messages and he immediately wrote something like "guess you have a lot of attitude", then I replied to him that I wasn't interested in the conversation because I am too shy around strangers. It didn't go down well with him and he apologized and said something like "sorry for being rude", later he wouldn't let me be and he still wanted to have conversations with me, I was creeped out and I blocked his messages in my inbox. Guess that didn't sit well with him. So I know the intent here and I expressed my trigger so as to signal him that I won't be taking his mean shit. He obviously knows that I have no interest in talking to him but still he has to leave a mean comment to simply piss me off. People just see words on the screen and assume that I'm being defensive or question something looks odd. There's always a backstory to everything as to why I'm getting triggered. I usually don't mind people at all, I'm extremely polite and friendly in real life, just a bit shy but I'm usually nice, helpful and gentle, not defensive at all. 

The problem is that this forum has the sort of people that I'll never talk to in real life. I will simply walk away from such dudes if it was real life, and nobody would question my behavior. But since it's the internet, here I have to talk to guys that I would generally be uncomfortable around in real life. The internet gives freedom to some guys to literally say anything to a woman, like the other guy who called me a bit-ch. Notice that they are both from my own country. They have both tried to message to chat with me and I haven't accepted their gestures. I'm simply been polite or turned the discussion around because I would rather not want to talk to a stranger from my country. Of course I have my concerns. 

They would never be able to say such things (in real life) to me or any other woman from my country  because most women around my place would simply walk away, so no conversation. 

On the internet it's much easier for them to grab my attention because there is no option of walking away. If I don't respond, they can do more. So I sometimes feel the obligation to respond. Of course I avoid them as much as possible but notice how they don't avoid me. Because they don't want to avoid me. 

That's why I always tell them to hit the ignore button if they feel such vendetta against me for rejecting their gestures. 

If there is some good guy with good intentions from my country or another country, I can easily talk to them without fear. 

But the internet usually attracts "those kind of men" just being honest. 

And such men get to say whatever they want to a woman online.

If I have to be really honest, if a guy in my country said abusive words to a lady on a bus, he would get slapped and beaten up by good men  and heavily condemned for humiliating a woman. 

But because this is the internet, such behavior really cannot be policed. 

Yesterday I showed the comments to my boyfriend and he said "the internet allows certain men to say forbidden things to a woman." 

I cannot say to such men (usually from my country) that I don't want to talk. It's that simple. I don't want to talk. But they can't accept that. They have the need to humiliate or malign me simply because I don't want to talk. How mean is that. 

In some ways this is a lighter form of sexual harassment. They feel angry because I don't flirt with them. I don't have any obligation to flirt with them or chat dirty. Then they start showing vendetta against me on the forum. It's almost like signaling me "if you don't talk or flirt with me then this is what will happen. I will be mean to you." it is honestly very creepy. 

All I do is try to sense the intention of a guy who is messaging me and simply block his conversations when I realize it's not leading to anything good. 

Now and then I keep them on ignore but they will say bullshit about me to others. So I have to keep an eye. 

Thanks for your understanding nistake. 

 

@Zigzag Idiot      Thanks for the input 

Edited July 16, 2020 by Preety_India

[Harikrishnan]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@nistake    I know that guy very well. He had tried contacting me in my inbox like a month (or more) ago and he was being very rude. I didn't reply to his messages and he immediately wrote something like "guess you have a lot of attitude", then I replied to him that I wasn't interested in the conversation because I am too shy around strangers. It didn't go down well with him and he apologized and said something like "sorry for being rude", later he wouldn't let me be and he still wanted to have conversations with me, I was creeped out and I blocked his messages in my inbox. Guess that didn't sit well with him. So I know the intent here and I expressed my trigger so as to signal him that I won't be taking his mean shit. He obviously knows that I have no interest in talking to him but still he has to leave a mean comment to simply piss me off. People just see words on the screen and assume that I'm being defensive or question something looks odd. There's always a backstory to everything as to why I'm getting triggered. I usually don't mind people at all, I'm extremely polite and friendly in real life, just a bit shy but I'm usually nice, helpful and gentle, not defensive at all. 

The problem is that this forum has the sort of people that I'll never talk to in real life. I will simply walk away from such dudes if it was real life, and nobody would question my behavior. But since it's the internet, here I have to talk to guys that I would generally be uncomfortable around in real life. The internet gives freedom to some guys to literally say anything to a woman, like the other guy who called me a bit-ch. Notice that they are both from my own country. They have both tried to message to chat with me and I haven't accepted their gestures. I'm simply been polite or turned the discussion around because I would rather not want to talk to a stranger from my country. Of course I have my concerns. 

They would never be able to say such things (in real life) to me or any other woman from my country  because most women around my place would simply walk away, so no conversation. 

On the internet it's much easier for them to grab my attention because there is no option of walking away. If I don't respond, they can do more. So I sometimes feel the obligation to respond. Of course I avoid them as much as possible but notice how they don't avoid me. Because they don't want to avoid me. 

That's why I always tell them to hit the ignore button if they feel such vendetta against me for rejecting their gestures. 

If there is some good guy with good intentions from my country or another country, I can easily talk to them without fear. 

But the internet usually attracts "those kind of men" just being honest. 

And such men get to say whatever they want to a woman online.

If I have to be really honest, if a guy in my country said abusive words to a lady on a bus, he would get slapped and beaten up and heavily condemned for humiliating a woman. 

But because this is the internet, such behavior really cannot be policed. 

Yesterday I showed the comments to my boyfriend and he said "the internet allows certain men to say forbidden things to a woman." 

I cannot say to such men (usually from my country) that I don't want to talk. It's that simple. I don't want to talk. But they can't accept that. They have the need to humiliate or malign me simply because I don't want to talk. How mean is that. 

All I do is try to sense the intention of a guy who is messaging me and simply block his conversations when I realize it's not leading to anything good. 

Now and then I keep them on ignore but they will say bullshit about me to others. So I have to keep an eye. 

Thanks for your understanding nistake. 

 

I am sorry for what happend here coz of our country men. And i have noticed many times you get lot of hate here for speaking your mind, as this forum has all stages of people its hard and its easy for people to hide there trollish behaviour with spiritual stuffs. But keep moving forward and ignore those who dont vibe with you.  

[Preety_India]

@Harikrishnan thank you for your understanding.