Trouble connecting with SD Tier 1 people

[Vagos]

Hi people, I have huge trouble connecting with SD Tier 1 people in the erotic domain. I do not have that much of a problem connecting with Tier 1 people in terms of friendship, even though I feel way more connected with my Tier 2 friends, but when it comes to intimate relationships I lose all interest when my partner doesn't have meta-thinking tendencies. It is a pretty damn struggle finding girls that are on SD Tier 2 in the first place and when attractiveness enters the equation the field obviously gets even narrower. To clarify I don't shame anybody that is on SD Tier 1, I was there once as well, probably still have parts there, I do not turn SD into an elitist model of filtering people and I believe that everyone is where they need to be in their life, respecting their position. It's just that I can't find people to feel intimacy with. I guess you could potentially call it a fetish. I don't know what to do or how/where to find these people and this is making me lonely. 

[electroBeam]

I actually find spiral dynamics has nothing to do with romance.

Maybe look at completely different angles than spiral dynamics. Look at how much compatibility your masculinity meets her femininity. 

People get along with dogs, and dogs are beige/purple. Imagine if your girl was a dog. 

[Meditationdude]

@Vagos I’ve still yet to meet a single person at tier 2, so being you have friends at that level is good enough. 

[Username]

In one of Ken Wilber's videos I heard that percentage of yellow is 5 and turquoise is 1%. I'm not sure if he meant worldwide or just USA. I think I know at least four people at yellow stage. It might be harder to find yellow females because they tend to stuck at green which is feminine. Males will rather stay at orange or evolve to impure yellow.

I agree with electroBeam about romance. I like a green girl. Difference in stages create problems with communication unless we communicate beyond words.

The funny thing is if you compare 25yo and 15yo girls they might be at the same stage. However there might be higher probability of the younger one entering yellow in five years than the older one. This is the case with me and my siblings. The oldest is the least developed in terms of SD.

[Jacob Morres]

i think there are certain places where yellow/green hangs out more 

eben pagan found his girl at burning man. they're super on the same page apparently. both are yellow

i think you just haven't explored the world enough maybe? there are tons of people at your desired consciousness 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Jacob Morres

[Espaim]

You'll have a greater probability of finding Tier 2 (Yellow) people where green hangs out.

If the center of mass of the culture is orange, it'll be harder to find blue and green if you just go around the streets and talk to people. It's better to go to a church to find blue or to burning man to find green. If you go to burning man, the center of gravity of the people there will be green, so the probability of finding yellow people increases. I gave you the guidelines, now it's on you to answer.

 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Espaim

[Vagos]

@Username I also find that females are much less likely to hit tier 2 than males. It's also probably because society oppresses women so it is less likely for one to evolve that far. I can say that I have 3-4 male friends that are solidly on yellow whereas I know maybe 2 girls that are maybe approaching tier 2 but have a far way to go. That is unfortunate... For me at least... Maybe I should go gay? I don't know. I'm not attracted to males...

@Jacob Morres @Espaim That's very encouraging and optimistic thanks. Although I have been in all the major Green places in my country, free campings, hippie gatherings, music festivals and so on but never found a single female that was on tier 2. 

 

[Username]

@Vagos If you want to go over the center of gravity you have to disagree and go against society - this is rather masculine activity. Females are rather followers, so there is a need for a respectable figure to follow which is usually a male. This cause being at least half step behind. I think a good way to visualize it is a sea wave. Front of the wave is masculine but there is a lot of water following it - feminine. I haven't found second tier female either.

I think that you shouldn't care so much about SD stage. I wold suggest to look for an energetic match.

[Hello from Russia]

I get frustrated with green girls long term as well, totally feel you.

I have a hunch that some girls in Witchcraft communities might be Turquoise + , might be worthwhile to check this out

Edited July 13, 2020 by Hello from Russia

[Hello from Russia]

41 minutes ago, Username said:

I think that you shouldn't care so much about SD stage. I wold suggest to look for an energetic match.

Energetic match pretty much = SD match if you're 2nd tier and above and into spirituality

Edited July 13, 2020 by Hello from Russia

[Hello from Russia]

12 hours ago, electroBeam said:

People get along with dogs, and dogs are beige/purple. Imagine if your girl was a dog. 

The problem is, if you want a dog - you get a dog, but you probably want a life partner. No one really wants a life partner with dog consciousness.

[Username]

@Hello from Russia It is not what I mean. Each personality / enneagram type has a certain vibe. When you interact with other person there is always some kind of tension because of friction between egos. However you can find a person who will make you feel like you are microdosing - it's enough to be in their presence.

[Artsu]

Type is important, but so is level of development.

I would want someone who is already basically self actualised.

[Jacob Morres]

1 hour ago, Username said:

However you can find a person who will make you feel like you are microdosing - it's enough to be in their presence.

ooo interesting comparison

i do have moments where i am with someone i am connected with and my life is just so much more powerful and better with them 

[electroBeam]

4 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

The problem is, if you want a dog - you get a dog, but you probably want a life partner. No one really wants a life partner with dog consciousness.

you're imagining their consciousness

[Carl-Richard]

I would expect tier 2 people to be more able to deal with other people in tier 1 than a tier 1 person would. That is kinda the character of tier 2: seeing more similarities than differences, understanding people's perspectives and meeting them where they're at. But then again, it can still be hard when you feel that somebody can't relate to your deepest interests or reciprocate that same level of understanding. Good relationships are born out of synergy, and that could be what you feel that you're missing.

As for a solution, I'm not very sure what you can do other than trying your luck in places where you'll find the most high consciousness people, which is not really advice but rather encouragement to keep going at it.

Edited July 14, 2020 by Carl-Richard

[Manusia]

Yo man I have experience same thing with you now. Im easily get bored when I have romantic partner with SD tier 1 before I understand what is SD. When I learn in actualized.org I started noticing my fetish is not SD tier 1. I learn more about self deception and so on and now I can read people behaviour, I easily get disgusted with girl ? just no for romantic partner.

Now in relationship with a girl in SD green-yellowish. She is not interesting in apperance but, never bored with she, we are always self reflection and no blame. We learning together new things, forcing each other to learn new experience to expand consciousness. Im very compatible with she.

I suggest you can search for people with higher chance SD yellow in some economics faculty at 'good' university in your country. Their meta thinking easily to spot. 

[Manusia]

And keep in mind, green stage development can easily seen as torquise, I find a lot of green ppl stagnant at green cognitive and call themselves 'torquise'.

[Michael569]

Maybe the issue is you seeing them as Tier 1 (inferior in a way) so you'll end up trying to speak like Tier 1 which sends confusing message and they see through it because to Tear 1 people that comes naturally. 

For example if Yellow guy comes to Orange girl trying to sound all cheesy and corny she'll send him on his way. If a proper Orange guy comes in being all cheezy and corny she'l love it. 

Why not look for a woman at higher state of consciousness? They are rarer but the relationship will be more mature and you guys will challenge each other to grow together. 

[flume]

On 13/07/2020 at 9:34 AM, electroBeam said:

I actually find spiral dynamics has nothing to do with romance.

Maybe look at completely different angles than spiral dynamics. Look at how much compatibility your masculinity meets her femininity. 

People get along with dogs, and dogs are beige/purple. Imagine if your girl was a dog. 

That escalated quickly

That’s maybe true for attraction, but love is a commitment to grow side by side. You wanna be able to unapologetically be yourself in an intimate relationship. If your values and level of development aren’t similar you’re not gonna get very far. Been there, done that. Those relationships don't really have a chance to go deep.

But if you’re just looking for a hookup, great advice!

 

@Vagos Keep developing yourself and be patient Those connections are out there, and they’re worth the filtering through the rest.

Consider moving cities/countries, going to workshops, book presentations, libraries, universities, online forums, etc. 

Good luck!