Self Enquiry - Are you being it right?

[Dodo]

Self enquiry Practise

Beginners in self enquiry were advised by Sri Ramana to put their attention on the inner feeling of i and to hold that feeling as long as possible.

They would be told that if their attention was distracted by other thoughts they should revert to the awareness of the I thought, when ever they became aware that their attention had wondered. He suggested various aids to assist this process. One could ask ones self: Who am I? Or where does this I come from?  But the ultimate aim was to be continuously aware of the I, which assumes that it is responsible for all the activities of the body and the mind.

In the early stages of practice the attention to the feeling I is a mental activity, which takes the form of a thought or a perception as the practice develops the thought I gives way to a subjectively experienced feeling of I. When this feeling ceases to connect and identify with thoughts and objects it completely vanishes.

What remains is an experience of being in which the Sense of individuality has temporarily ceased to operate.  The experience may be intermittent at first but with repeated practice it becomes easier and easier to reach and maintain. When self enquiry reaches this level there is an effortless awareness of Being, in which individual effort is no longer possible since the I who makes the effort has temporarily ceased to exist.

It is not self realisation, since the I thought periodically reasserts itself but is the highest level of practice.  Repeated experience of this state of Being weakens and destroys the Vasana, mental tendencies which cause the I thought to rise and when their hold has been sufficiently weakened, the power of the Self destroys the residual tendencies so completely that the I thought never rises again.  This is the final and irreversible state of Self realisation.

This practice of self attention or awareness of the I thought is a gentle technique, which bypasses the usual repressive methods of controlling the mind. It is not an exercise in concentration nor does it aim at suppressing thoughts.  It merely evokes the awareness of the source from which the mind springs. The method and goal of self enquiry is to abide in the source of the mind and to be aware of what one really is by withdrawing attention and interest from what one is not.

In the early stages effort in the form of transferring the attention from the thoughts to the thinker is essential but once awareness of the I feeling has been firmly established further effort is counter productive from then on it is more a process of being than doing. Of effortless being rather than an effort to Be. Being what one already is is effortless since being ness is always present and always experienced. On the other hand Pretending to be what one is not, ie.the body and the mind requires continuous mental effort even though the effort is nearly always at a subconscious level.

It therefore follows that in the higher stages of self enquiry, effort takes attention away from the experience of Being while cessation of mental effort reveals it.  Ultimately the Self is not discovered as a result of doing anything but only by Being. 

Sri Ramana remarked:

Quote

Do not meditate, Be
Do not think that you are, Be
Don’t think about Being, you are.

 

Edited July 11, 2020 by Dodo

[peanutspathtotruth]

Wow great summary. Really helpful, thank you ??

[Preetom]

This instruction written by David Godman about the technique of self inquiry is as clean as it can be. Let me share some points that indicate that one is doing it right from own experience. Sorted in a kind of chronological fashion.

1) The first stage is to hunt for the subject/perceiver/awarer of all experience/perception. This stage is the most brutal where one has to go the through the surface and mid layers of psyco-physical garbage or conditioning accumulated since birth. One cannot rest on any object until he finds the perceiver of that object. It is the most effortful stage. Very strong emotional reactions, wanting to quit this 'stupid' technique etc is to be expected as self inquiry is literally a process of self-mutilation and ego is shooting itself in the foot. Love, bliss, heart crap will run out of the window

2) If one can persevere through, the first few awakenings happen by accident (usually in a retreat like setting where one is practicing for 12 hours a day. Might happen on 3rd/4th/5th.. day). In that moment, one experiences what nirvana is; the complete cessation of suffering.

3) Then one goes back and forth, kinda dabble with the technique for a while. One has glimpsed heaven but now it feels like a fading memory. Some people might slowly forget about all this spirituality and get busy again with materialistic life after a while. Some might get more deluded thinking they are better than everyone else.

4) Only a few lucky ones keep up that intention of God/knowing the Self/Truth pure. They keep on probing within them slowly but steadily. The flashy days are gone. There is rarely any deep emotional or mental reactions or confusions as one regularly starts getting glimpses here and there; they voluntarily strip themselves of everything in perception. One abides more and more in that heart of being.

5) All thoughts, ideas, knowledge slowly get deconstructed. They lose their teeth. They can't bite anymore or dictate how reality is or should be anymore. The ideas of time, birth/death, suffering, humanity, worry, anxiety, philosophy, seriousness, even enlightenment or ideas about god/being/self ideas/progress/regress still look the same; but they don't have teeth anymore.

6) At this stage one might come to several unique, indescribable experiences. One knows, sees, feels oneself as unattached, unattached, unattached, undefinable. One feels so HUGE...while all of the world in front seems like a thin layer of bubbles ; a superficial surface over oneself. One feels oneself as never being born. The biological birth story is a fading memory at this point. At best one feels born afresh instantly only when a self referencial thought arises. One might occasionally get overwhelmed with a sort of brain dead, intoxicating happiness for absolutely no reason whatsoever. At this point one finally understand why no other action, knowledge, accumulation of any form or thing can ever yield Truth except pure Being.

7) Even all this is seen as they are, capricious non existent bubbles. A steady, poised being attention firms more and more. One forgets everything, one gets erased without any resistance or suffering cause he knows this is the natural course of events.

8) When all other is gone, self is gone as well. What remains is that which cannot be talked about. One is done. Even the idea of being done or something remaining is done. 

huh what a sweet joke 

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Preetom Nice, but I find it confusing. What is the practice after phase 1)? Hunting for the same observer? When I‘m out of it, it reeeally confuses me, I don‘t know if should just do nothing or look intensely. Effort or no effort. 

[Preetom]

47 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

@Preetom Nice, but I find it confusing. What is the practice after phase 1)? Hunting for the same observer? When I‘m out of it, it reeeally confuses me, I don‘t know if should just do nothing or look intensely. Effort or no effort. 

Unless one completely understands and sees that there is no direction to redirect effort; one has to deliberately, consciously put in the effort to ignore everything in perception and hunt for the observer. The next steps will reveal themselves naturally.

What happens is, through this intense effort and focused attention towards the pursuit of the observer; the notion of 'I' reforms...sort of like a software update in the back. You don't worry about it at all. It will happen by itself and run its course while you're hunting for yourself with a focused attention. The self gets more and more detached; until at one point the notion of effort falls away. One intuites that the honey is not gained by even the slightest effort towards any direction outside; but through gently falling into oneself. No words can describe this being unless one tastes it first hand.

From there, it is the final stage of self inquiry. No longer effort or massive fireworks. Life becomes equanimous and only a sweet, gentle remembrance of oneself as Consciousness remains..until the last subtle vestiges of selfhood evaporates and one is completely done.

The donkey example Leo once gave sort of maps out this process really well. Suppose a donkey is taken in front of a mirror and told that the reflection is it's own face. But the donkey is incapable of understanding or intuiting that the reflection is its own.

The self inquiry process begins. The donkey wracks its brain for days trying to figure out how this reflection is his own. He gets angry, turmoiled. He goes through all the emotional fireworks; all his donkey karma if he is able to stick to the routine of looking himself in the mirror and trying.

Slowly he calms down over time. The donkey slowly wises up. Something in him intuits that the secret of his true identity lies somehow in this mirror reflection. He understands that he can decipher this secret only by looking at the mirror directly; not by doing more donkey stuff or becoming a better donkey or being the greatest donkey ever lived or being the donkey king with a big harem etc.

Thus the donkey sits in front of the mirror. He sits; steadily looking into the mirror; calm and poised; days go by; seasons go by; there is no more agitation or fireworks left; the donkey story becomes a faded memory by then. He keeps sitting and looking...until one day he finally gets it ''OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! That's me! Of course!''. That moment is a happy accident.

The Self/Awareness wakes up to itself as its real nature; undistorted by intermediaries.

Edited July 11, 2020 by Preetom

[gettoefl]

5 hours ago, Dodo said:

Self enquiry Practise ...

outstanding work, so appreciative of you for this

[peanutspathtotruth]

37 minutes ago, Preetom said:

Unless one completely understands and sees that there is no direction to redirect effort; one has to deliberately, consciously put in the effort to ignore everything in perception and hunt for the observer. The next steps will reveal themselves naturally.

What happens is, through this intense effort and focused attention towards the pursuit of the observer; the notion of 'I' reforms...sort of like a software update in the back. You don't worry about it at all. It will happen by itself and run its course while you're hunting for yourself with a focused attention. The self gets more and more detached; until at one point the notion of effort falls away. One intuites that the honey is not gained by even the slightest effort towards any direction outside; but through gently falling into oneself. No words can describe this being unless one tastes it first hand.

From there, it is the final stage of self inquiry. No longer effort or massive fireworks. Life becomes equanimous and only a sweet, gentle remembrance of oneself as Consciousness remains..until the last subtle vestiges of selfhood evaporates and one is completely done.

The donkey example Leo once gave sort of maps out this process really well. Suppose a donkey is taken in front of a mirror and told that the reflection is it's own face. But the donkey is incapable of understanding or intuiting that the reflection is its own.

The self inquiry process begins. The donkey wracks its brain for days trying to figure out how this reflection is his own. He gets angry, turmoiled. He goes through all the emotional fireworks; all his donkey karma if he is able to stick to the routine of looking himself in the mirror and trying.

Slowly he calms down over time. The donkey slowly wises up. Something in him intuits that the secret of his true identity lies somehow in this mirror reflection. He understands that he can decipher this secret only by looking at the mirror directly; not by doing more donkey stuff or becoming a better donkey or being the greatest donkey ever lived or being the donkey king with a big harem etc.

Thus the donkey sits in front of the mirror. He sits; steadily looking into the mirror; calm and poised; days go by; seasons go by; there is no more agitation or fireworks left; the donkey story becomes a faded memory by then. He keeps sitting and looking...until one day he finally gets it ''OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! That's me! Of course!''. That moment is a happy accident.

The Self/Awareness wakes up to itself as its real nature; undistorted by intermediaries.

Thank you ?? I have had plenty experiences showing me clearly that it is full, complete surrender that is the only way. But when clouding myself again, it is so hard to „remember“ in practical terms. 

[Preetom]

3 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

Thank you ?? I have had plenty experiences showing me clearly that it is full, complete surrender that is the only way. But when clouding myself again, it is so hard to „remember“ in practical terms. 

You're doing well. Keep going and one day you'll start laughing at your own self created jokes more often. Jokes like ''I've had many experiences. I am going somewhere. Something clouds me. I forget the good stuff. Its hard. I can't remember myself in practical terms''. 

May the force be with you peanut 

[peanutspathtotruth]

19 minutes ago, Preetom said:

You're doing well. Keep going and one day you'll start laughing at your own self created jokes more often. Jokes like ''I've had many experiences. I am going somewhere. Something clouds me. I forget the good stuff. Its hard. I can't remember myself in practical terms''. 

May the force be with you peanut