Do you feel this too ??

[Kross]

When something is happening to me or especially when I'm doing something, in the back of my mind there's this, idk what to call it, maybe thought/awareness of acknowledgement and acceptance ? Or many times even in addition to that, a kind of feeling that ''Yes ! This is happening ! And I like it that I'm doing this !'' - lets call this '#'. To me, this can happen even if I'm crying in reaction to, lets say death of a kin. Logically I know I might suffer in many ways after that incident, but # is still there. In fact many times in general, It feels like I act myself into crying. This can be distracting many times during, like when I'm meditating, and something pleasant or unexpected happens, I will be attacked by # and think something like ''Damn am I about to get some awakening or shit ? Its about to go down !!''. Doesn't happen all the time with all experiences, but still more than usual. By this, it feels like I'm not actually doing the thing that I'm doing for its own sake and purpose, but rather acting like an actor, as if I'd like to do this, to make myself 'special'.

What is this ? Is this something natural ? Do I got issues ? If I do got issues by the way, and I hear that from you guys down below, I'll again start having #. Also, I have this general notion/feel that everything that happens is ultimately for the 'greater good' or 'whatever is happening is accepted' - although I will NOT have this or # either if I'm in a state of deep physical suffering, like a very painful stomach ache. At that moment, ''this pain better go away right now''.

Edited July 10, 2020 by Kross

[ivankiss]

@Kross Yes, it's there, alright.

It's the deep, unshakable 'inner knowing'.

You do not have an issue, imo. At least not regarding the topic.

What you are describing can be called many names. '#' is perfectly fine, too. 

But the Truth is; it is nameless.

[Malekakisioannis]

@Kross yes i feel this too even in my angriest or depressing moments. Even when im crying out of despair i feel this inner knowing and contentment. 

[commie]

10 hours ago, Kross said:

although I will NOT have this or # either if I'm in a state of deep physical suffering

Funny, that's the only time I have a use for it. I remember being unable to control my muscles or speak because of the pain and that pest was my best friend.

[Galyna]

Very close to awareness...I have it too, all the time. Interesting how people name it and try to define it.

In my personal experience this "thingy" does not have any qualities, it is empty, close to nothingness.  

Edited July 10, 2020 by Galyna