Why am I afraid of being successful?

[ReneFranz]

Hey people,

I'm new to this forum and I'm from Germany, so I apologize for any typos or incorrect language beforehand.

I've been doing a lot of spiritual work in the past four years and have changed spiritual teachers over this time, as soon as the present teaching didn't seem to help me with my current problems anymore. Seems like "teacher-hopping" but actually it served me very well, because I didn't get stuck in any of the teachings.

So anyway, at the moment, I resonate a lot with Actualization and Manifestation, so Leo's Videos have been a great source of inspiration and practical guidance for me. The last break-through I had was the realization that it's absolutely possible to manifest whatever I want to have in life. So I started to lay out my vision and a strategy for manifesting it, as Leo suggests in many of his videos. Also I have managed to find a combination of methods that helps me to reach all the sub-components of the strategy that brings me closer to my vision.

Now to the problem: I have layed out everything so clearly, I know I want to reach this and I also exactly know, what to do. I also know what exactly I have to stop doing in order to achieve my goals laid out in the strategy. But somehow what occurs is a sense of anxiety that I cannot really grasp. It seems to be so irrational. It feels like being actually afraid of reaching my highest goals, and furthermore it feels like this anxiety has been present all the time and prevented me from actually working towards my goals no matter what.

Any thoughts / experiences on that?

Kind regards

René

 

[hyruga]

It probably means that you feel inadequate inside. You may feel you are not good enough to take on higher roles. 

My suggestion to you is to read up on on your industry to become more proficient. Also read more books on leadership.

[ReneFranz]

Hi Hyruga,

thanks for your reply. It makes sense in a way because I've always had issues with feelings of inadequacy that I thought I had already dealt with. Have you got any recommendations on Leadership books? I believe there is a ton of literature out there... or is there anything on Leo's booklist? I already thought about getting it, but there's still a lot to contemplate atm, so I don't feel I can take in so much material right now.

Kind regards

René

[Recursoinominado]

Well, maybe, when you were little, you lived in an environment that wasn't safe to speak up and shine and you learned that your best survival strategy was to fit in and don't make any unnecessary noise. 

Children exposed to frequent traumatic events will often dissociate, withdrawn and make themselves invisible, like a frozen still animal pretending to be dead hoping to make the predator lose interest.

Take this passive approach to life long enough and you have a deeply ingrained character trait, changing it means that a lot of deep-seated fear will come to the surface. 

There is no way around it, be bold and brave, gradually desensitize yourself from fear by being exposed to it little by little. 

Also, look for areas that you are confident and explore it, this will spread to your whole life.

I found that when I started to workout, gain some strength and learn how to fight (through martial arts), the confidence I discovered wasn't limited to those areas but I got bolder in a broader sense.

I recommend for you to visualize yourself being successful, try to feel it as much as possible and just stay with it, make your body feel comfortable with confidence and success. This will also become a habit, soon will be your modus operandi. 

[StarStruck]

You need to feel adequate as you are as a human, so you don't seek outside things to make you whole as a person. If you feel enough as a person, everything that comes on top of that is just an extra. 

[ReneFranz]

Thanks again, for your replies.

@Recursoinominado: There have definitely been some traumatic events in my childhood, which I really noticed four years ago in a very self-destructive relationship. I learned out of that and have worked very hard towards a self-loving relationship with myself. I don't need any other person or special outside circumstance anymore (besides the basic human needs of course) to feel joyful and fulfilled (@StarStruck, but thanks for the comment, this was very relevant for me a few years ago) . However, this of course doesn't mean nothing comes up for me anymore, and for some reason it comes up with the exact feeling and visualization of achieving my highest goals.

I also feel like there's no way around it, and honestly inside the fear there's also a feeling of curiosity and an anticipation of freedom. The fear is not overwhelming but it takes a lot of mindfulness to not give into the fear and snap back into my old patterns of behavior. Chewing my nails is one of those and it feels like the urge to do it has gotten stronger in the last couple of weeks. And what you said about becoming comfortable with feeling successful inside: that's a very interesting thought that never entered my mind yet. Are there any helpful techniques to actually allow these feelings actively in? Imo it also has something to do with allowing another aspect of self-love right?

[kag101]

23 minutes ago, ReneFranz said:

Are there any helpful techniques to actually allow these feelings actively in?

Have you ever tried visualization and affirmations?

[hyruga]

You can read '21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership' by John Maxwell.

Personally, I find '50 Self Help Classics' quite helpful too.

[Nexeternity]

@ReneFranz  This actually sounds good.  Try and look at it as fear and emotion purging.  When you have a grand vision and you know you are going to move foward and actualize it all the limiting beliefs that have to operate in order for you to be where you are and not further along need to be released, let go of, purged, retired.  The beliefs served you up till now so dont feel bad about having them or be upset at them, just see them as structure that your ego built up that can now be let go of.  

Try and find a way to be happy when you feel fear, it means your alive and you are actually on your way to expanding yourself, getting out of your comfort zone.  Just slow down and take it easy if it gets really bad.

Ultimately loving yourself more is always the best thing you can do heh... cliche but had to add that  

[Nahm]

@ReneFranz

Stop calling it anxiety, start looking at how you’re thinking.