5 day 5meo retreat - Report

[Aaron p]

I had time off work booked for a 5meo retreat and I just completed that retreat last night. I got up around 10 every day and meditated one hour and did back and leg stretches and sat silently when not meditating every other hour and just alternated.

I smoked 5meo multiple times every day.

Main practices we're:

self inquiry, [a little less of] kriya yoga, do nothing and a good bit of contemplation on what is the mind, reality, God, thoughts etc. I smoked a SHITTON of 5meo.

 

I find 5meo very very strange, extremely strange

..it nearly feels like I can literally control what happens in the trip. Like, literally...if I smoke 30mg and focus, I can make it so literally nothing happens...is this normal? 

Day 1

I did allow myself time to relax when I was getting very tired and I listened to relaxing meditation music like this:

The trips were kind of weird and hard to pinpoint what the fuck was going on, but I trusted the the spirit of 5meo would take me to where I needed to go. I was smoking 20mg pipes mostly first day. The main thing I took away from my 5meo trips is the strength I feel after, absolutely amazing. I feel so much stronger after now. I sort of concluded that 5meo is...whatever you imagine it to be. Had one bad trip today but was all good. Lots of meditation. Successful.

 

Day 2

had a 30mg pipe and a massive emotional breakthrough in which I realized that I had a big reservoir of pent up emotion regarding the death of my grandma and i let out SOOO much emotion and realized that my Dad loved me and that he just wanted to spend time with me. I had that emotional breakthrough to this song:

 

This was definitely one of the more powerful experiences. I realized that I need to value my family more. I wept for a good 10 minutes but it was blissful. The strength I felt after was...haha...awesome. so strong. That was the first big pipe I smoked.

 

Day 3

Today I got my first real direct awareness that I might actually be inside my own mind which was an interesting one. Contemplation upon what the "mind" is was focal today.

Today I noticed that everything seemed quieter and slightly more beautiful. I really did smoke a lot of 5meo, I was worried about my lungs but then I remembered Leo talking about 5meo's traits of removing and healing addiction. Im trying to stop smoking tobacco and weed ATM so even if 5meo is bad for my lungs, it'll likely help me stop smoking the other stuff easier so it'll not be as bad for my lungs.

I had one more bad trip at the end of this day where I experienced a lot of confusion. This confused me since all I had gotten was strength up until then but I composed myself and thought, could be ego backlash...or just a bad trip ah well.

Meditation was good, self enquiry, do nothing, some concentration...on point ???

 

Day 4

Today I really was kind of scared to smoke more 5meo cuz I ended on a bad trip the previous day but I smoked a little 10mg pipe (little for me) and felt back to normal. Today I contemplated deeply and realized that the imperfect parts of myself that I hate would be transformed and turned into the parts of me that will cause me to have massive success in life! Amazing ? I realized that I have to love myself more. I still don't have direct knowledge of what "love" is but I'm getting a shitton closer.

Meditation was solid, wasn't too strict. Went on my phone a bit relaxed a bit, at the end of the day it was 5meo doing the majority of the heavy lifting and it wouldn't have made a difference if I went on my phone for 10 minutes lol (don't judge me).

 

Day 5

Today I got my first real direct experience of there not being a me who finds or is found...just a taste but I got it. Looking inward and seeing nothing. 

Today I was MUCH more grounded and was very comfortable smoking my 5meo. I was...extremely centered and had very little fear when I focused. I am starting to feel a lot of STRENGTH. 

It also felt like when I *actually* looked at things in my room they changed. So my TV existed as a TV, until I looked at it...at which point it wasnt a TV anymore...it was something else. A different thing (dream material perhaps).

I smoked 40mg pipe in a state of super centeredness and...frankly, wasn't impressed. I find DMT much more profound if I'm honest. Maybe I have a natural inhibitor to 5meo or something. If smoking 40mg didn't leave me with a life transforming experience, then I don't know if plugging with the new boofing technique is even worth trying...I'll try it nevertheless.

The main thing was trusting the 5meo to do its job. The main thing I felt was the strength and centeredness. Im Very very strong afterwards. VERRRRY strong. I have faith in 5meo and the practices. I also got some DPT yesterday so gonna see how that is.

Didn't meet God...but I know what God is at a low level. I do know, and I can see it directly... slightly. I'll keep trying to actualize it more and more.

 

Conclusion/summery

happy with my retreat, 5meo makes me very strong and mentally focused. I can sit for days and contemplate on it. I became a movementless Buddha statue for about 15-20 minutes after my 40mg trip. Was pretty cool. And I guess profound as fuck. Happy with progress, still have faith in the guru to take me to where I need to go, Nirvana. 

Going to be experimenting with MDMA/DMT combo's soon, super excited. Very very good????

 

#/#/U-P-D-A-T-E/#/#

Soooo update, turns out the universe was planning on me apparently partaking of a reasonable amount of high purity ketamine last night, known for it's dis-associative effects. I'm aware that this substance is addictive, I haven't taken it in a long while, and won't take it for a long while again. Very very profound experience directly after my 5meo retreat. 

The only thing I can say is waw, everything is so fucking beautiful and I am opening up like a flower, emotionally, psychologically...waw

Could be a delayed response from the 5meo haha. The sun looked 10 times more beautiful this morning, and there is a glow. There's a certain number of small things that I have changed within my own mind that I know will prosper me greatly. I'm in shape, I'm focused, fuck. I can't even remember what I experienced during the peak of this trip exactly but I feel fucking amazing. And everything looks lovely hahaha. I can tell that something has changed, my perceptions are all strange haha. Picture of the sun as I'm looking at it from my bed right now below ? wow

Edited July 10, 2020 by Aaron p

[Aaron p]

And of course only with help from the good book ?????

[herghly]

This is real work!  

how long are your kriya and concentration sessions

[Leo Gura]

@Aaron p Interesting...

Thanks for sharing.

A few tips:

• Stop using 5-MeO and switch to DMT. If DMT is more profound and mystical for you, why aren't you using it more? You need to find the chem that works for you. If 40mg of vaped 5-MeO-DMT don't clearly show you God, then it's not the right chem for you.
• Don't hide your stuff in a book. That's the first place anyone would look. Be more clever.

[herghly]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

@Aaron p Interesting...

Thanks for sharing.

A few tips:

• Stop using 5-MeO and switch to DMT. If DMT is more profound and mystical for you, why aren't you using it more?
• Don't hide your stuff in a book. That's the first place anyone would look. Be more clever.

Where should you hide !

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, herghly said:

Where should you hide !

If someone told you where, then it wouldn't be hidden, would it?

Stop being creatively lazy.

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Aaron p Wow, very inspiring! I have quite a bit of fear due to a lot of experienced terror on 5-MeO, even though I did let go a few times. Your report is very motivating. Thank you for sharing all of this ?

[OBEler]

@Aaron p Congrats Aaron! Nice work but interesting how you can control the 5 meo Trip. I never heard that. 

Time for plugging with boofing technique. If this does not show you God then maybe Leo is right and you should experiment with other substance. Every one is different 

[Leo Gura]

If 40mg vaped didn't show him God, plugging won't either. He clearly has a massive tolerance to it.

40mg should knock you out cold and maybe even kill you.

[allislove]

1 hour ago, Aaron p said:

I find 5meo very very strange, extremely strange

..it nearly feels like I can literally control what happens in the trip. Like, literally...if I smoke 30mg and focus, I can make it so literally nothing happens...is this normal? 

That exactly what happens  -  N O T H I N G   ?



Congrats, man! Feels like a lot of self-growth ?

[peanutspathtotruth]

1 hour ago, Aaron p said:

sat silently when not meditating every other hour and just alternated.

May I ask what is the difference for you between sitting silently and, say, do-nothing meditation? Is it less centeredness of attention? Is it allowing to identify with thoughts compared to returning to the consciousness that is behind all thought? I'm curious.

[Corpus]

If 40mg smoked 5 MeO DMT is not traumatising you significantly, and bad trips can be readily dismissed with an "Oh well" then surely one has to question if ones material is legit, a salt, and the adequacy of the smoking set-up.  Really, these possibilities should be given some consideration.

[Aaron p]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Aaron p Interesting...

Thanks for sharing.

A few tips:

• Stop using 5-MeO and switch to DMT. If DMT is more profound and mystical for you, why aren't you using it more? You need to find the chem that works for you. If 40mg of vaped 5-MeO-DMT don't clearly show you God, then it's not the right chem for you.
• Don't hide your stuff in a book. That's the first place anyone would look. Be more clever.

@Leo Gura thanks leo, good advice as usual. DMT/MDMA was beyond profound for me last time... absolutely astonishing. I find that on a normal to slightly higher dose of MDMA it's impossible not to experience heaven on DMT. I know MDMA is addictive and notoriously impure, but darknet MDMA is always high purity and I'll not take it often. Since MDMA lasts 6 hours I think I'm gonna have one day every 2 months where I have like 5 or 6 DMT breakthroughs in one sitting (while on MDMA) then just do periodic lower dose DMT trips without MDMA for a month and a half or so then do that every month and a half/2 months.

 

4 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

May I ask what is the difference for you between sitting silently and, say, do-nothing meditation? Is it less centeredness of attention? Is it allowing to identify with thoughts compared to returning to the consciousness that is behind all thought? I'm curious.

@peanutspathtotruth little bit more strict regarding not moving the body when doing do nothing. But all the practices are basically just different facets of the same overall practice anyway.

 

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If 40mg vaped didn't show him God, plugging won't either. He clearly has a massive tolerance to it.

40mg should knock you out cold and maybe even kill you.

Aye^@OBEler  I think DMT is gonna be the best tool for me to use. I much prefer it @peanutspathtotruth ?? thanks man

[Aaron p]

1 hour ago, Corpus said:

If 40mg smoked 5 MeO DMT is not traumatising you significantly, and bad trips can be readily dismissed with an "Oh well" then surely one has to question if ones material is legit, a salt, and the adequacy of the smoking set-up.  Really, these possibilities should be given some consideration.

@Corpus I've already considered these and had the same experiences with two different batches. I've had more powerful experiences with smoking the salt form. I had a very powerful experience smoking salt form. I have 10mg left of salt 5meo, different batch. I did have a pretty awesome experience with salt before to be honest. That's something I haven't considered before. Gonna test that out actually and let you guys know. I experienced heaven when I smoked salt form

[Espaim]

31 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

Since MDMA lasts 6 hours I think I'm gonna have one day every 2 months

3 months is better if you want to be sure bro. MDMA isn't a shit you wanna not be on the safe side.

 

Nice trips though!

[Aaron p]

12 hours ago, Espaim said:

3 months is better if you want to be sure bro. MDMA isn't a shit you wanna not be on the safe side.

 

Nice trips though!

Very fucking nice

 

(Update posted at bottom of post)

Edited July 10, 2020 by Aaron p

[peanutspathtotruth]

21 hours ago, Aaron p said:

Picture of the sun as I'm looking at it from my bed right now below ? wow

What a beautiful view ??

[Grateful Dead]

On 9.7.2020 at 6:58 PM, Espaim said:

3 months is better if you want to be sure bro. MDMA isn't a shit you wanna not be on the safe side.

From where you have this information?

MDMA is a relatively safe drug, even in official PTSD therapy they are doing a therapy session every 2 weeks.

The dangers of MDMA come with the party settings (being in a hot room, sweating a lot without drinking enough water, taking large amounts and combining it with alcohol)
 

[Espaim]

2 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

From where you have this information?

MDMA is a relatively safe drug, even in official PTSD therapy they are doing a therapy session every 2 weeks.

The dangers of MDMA come with the party settings (being in a hot room, sweating a lot without drinking enough water, taking large amounts and combining it with alcohol)
 

Yeah sorry man. That was my bullshit.

[fridjonk]

@acidgoofy Just because it's physically safe doesn't mean it's necessarily healthy for you. The overstimulation of serotonin is like shooting meth except its not dopamine. It's such an alien high you can become insensitive to feeling it the way nature intended. I'd stick to 1-3 times per year max. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, just my two cents.