Psycho-spirituality

[Call Me Whatever]

I had an interesting experience in meditation this afternoon in that I separated myself from the ego with enough distance to view it objectively. I understood it, experientially, as a separate entity appended to consciousness. I use the word "understood" because no language or symbolism accompanied the understanding (earlier in the meditation I realized for the first time the ego's dependency on language and symbolism). 

This meditation came to an abrupt end when I became aware of my mind attempting to covertly highjack the experience and fragment itself into yet another super-ego partition. My mind has been a gasoline fire ever since, burning wildly, almost as retribution for looking at its mechanics too closely. 

So I'm left with the insights, but no lasting change of which I'm consciously aware. Moreover, I feel a strong resistance to more meditation right now. I wouldn't characterize this a emotional drainage, though the resistance is powerful enough to make me heed its warning. 

Can any experienced meditators comment on this?

Thank you. 

 

[Nahm]

Meditation is content-less. Let it go swiftly rather than coloring meditation falsely.

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Call Me Whatever Man, this is so classic, I know how hard this feels. You can not work against the mind, ever. Because you're not two different "things". So let even the superego voices, the hitting and screaming happen. Let it be as long as it is there, and let it pass when it passes. The only thing you can do is notice. Hint: Notice as precisely and closely as possible. That might feel like effort in the beginning.