How Easy It Is To Get Derailed

[Steelheart]

I've been personal development for a year now. Results are I've kicked my coffee addiction, got my cholesterol under control by changing diet and I've ran everyday for the last 3 months. feel great. So my new goals are mediatation, getting into flow and reading. So I'm at toastmaster and a beautiful girl (9 - 9 and a half) starts paying attention to me and starts iming me. Now i cant think about anything else. cant meditate, cant read and my work has become really shit. No relationship is going to happen. I'm just amazed over the lack of control i have over my mind. If this would happen to an advanced self actualized person would they be easily able to over come this? this has been dragging on for 3 weeks now and i really want to get back on track and unfortunately i still have to see the girl. 

 

[SaynotoKlaus]

You greatly overvalue this woman , in reality she isn't important at all to you. Just notice that there are plenty of hot women in the world , you don't need this one.

Edited July 27, 2016 by SaynotoKlaus

[Frogfucius]

In my experience, lust is the single most difficult obstacle to overcome in this whole self-actualizing thing. Attraction and lust are hard wired deep inside us, since we were very young kids.

What has helped me in this regard is realizing that I don't lust (or fantasize, crave to date, marry, love, etc.) after women because I genuinely care about them: I lust because it serves myself and my ego. When I catch myself doing it and why it's happening, it's much easier to deal with these overwhelming emotions and it gets me back on track. I also realize that the woman's attraction is just her outer appearance: inside, she's a bunch of organs, bones, blood, etc. and that we're all going to get old, wrinkly, and die someday. Hope this helps.

Edited July 27, 2016 by Frogfucius

[Zephyr]

See, I have the same problem.  It takes practice to overcome this.

Meditation - Try not to resist your body. Just for several minutes, just let the thoughts flow and let the emotions and feelings flow. If your mind still resist the body, then also let those thoughts be. The feelings of cravings from your body and lustful thoughts just let them be there. The thoughts of 'i should be getting back on track' & 'I shouldnt be thinking about this girl' and all the feelings of frustration just let them be as well.

Purpose - No brainer. Really important. Reason why you are being distracted at the first place

Shadow Work - Get in touch with the feeling of cravings. As well as your judgemental thoughts on yourself. Most of the time you were not conscious. Use visualization and rewind. Then get in touch with the feelings. Feel, not analyze. 

Frame -