make me imagine what a girl desires about intimacy, sex, relationship and love

[egoeimai]

@Preety_India exactly, most of girls have been in every kind of abusive relationship and they know. The girls that have and have always had healthy relationships with their fathers have always been those with the healthy self esteem and dignity and self love. These are kinda rare. ??

[Preety_India]

@egoeimai

I had a wonderful healthy relationship with my dad. He was the most loving dad ever. So please don't chastise me just because I was in an abusive relationship. 

Understand that a woman loves a man. Then she might defend his behavior because she doesn't want to lose her love. 

I have very much the same level of dignity as you. 

 

I loved him much too much. If I didn't have self respect, I wouldn't have left the relationship. 

I had to wait. For things to get better. Because I wasn't cynical and negative. 

But when things didn't get better I left 

 

 

 

Edited July 10, 2020 by Preety_India

[egoeimai]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@egoeimai

I had a wonderful healthy relationship with my dad. He was the most loving dad ever. So please don't ch

It's not about you. I'm talking in general.

Good for you that you were lucky enough to have a good relationship with your father. Most girls aren't.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura I also thought that making her feel safe by leading her and supporting her emotionally was one of the main things in a relationship. 

Yeah, sure. If you are doing it right.

I was just pointing out the loopholes.

Quote

And what is the main difference between attracting girls and keeping a loving relationship? 

Once you've attracted her, you will have a lot of leeway. You can be nice or you can be an asshole and she will stick around in both cases most of the time.

But if you are an asshole, eventually she will leave after much suffering.

Which is why ethics are so important. Women are too easily exploited this way by guys. They fall for assholes too easily. Guys need to be taught how not to mistreat women.

[egoeimai]

@Preety_India  dear preety, I never was talking about you. Understand that. And I don't enjoy arguing, so I'll leave. Enjoy.

[Preety_India]

@egoeimai  thanks 

Attraction is always hard to understand. 

You have a great day. 

[John Iverson]

1 hour ago, egoeimai said:

It's because of trauma, some girls want and need abusive men to relive the trauma.

What??????? .. reliving trauma from an abusive partner ? Whaaaaat? Whyyyyyyyyyy! 

[John Iverson]

I do have a feeling that this thread will come to an end if you guys not careful about your replies. I don't want this to end, there are plenty of stuffs that can be shared here so if you want this to progress,, then behave ...

[John Iverson]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Attraction is always hard to understand

Eventually It is possible to understand.. hopefully this post going be successful for that matter .. 

?‍♂️ I didn't know this post will somehow create a little argument.. from girl  What the hell LOL!!! 

 

Edited July 10, 2020 by John Iverson

[Preety_India]

@John Iverson

Just now, John Iverson said:

Eventually It is possible to understand.. hopefully this post will be successful for that matter .. 

?‍♂️ I didn't know this post will somehow create a little argument.. from girls to girls? What the hell LOL!!! 

 

You don't need to feed on  an argument between two girls. 

Girls can argue with each other just like men argue with each other. 

Nothing unusual. 

Focus on what you want to contribute to the thread rather than focusing on what two girls are saying to each other. 

 

[John Iverson]

5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@John Iverson

You don't need to feed on  an argument between two girls. 

Girls can argue with each other just like men argue with each other. 

Nothing unusual. 

Focus on what you want to contribute to the thread rather than focusing on what two girls are saying to each other. 

 

It's kinda ironic ? Most likely i think my post will create argument to guys hahaa 

It's funny ?..

tho I don't know... why argue ? What is the argument all about? That is my question from here... 

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Focus on what you want to contribute to the thread rather than focusing on what two girls are saying to each other. 

Yeah!! Correct!! It is not significant to the result I want from myself

[John Iverson]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Nothing unusual

For me it is not ususal ? 

The post is about girls and boys problem

but i get an argument from girls? 

Uhmmm? What is going on HAHAHA!! 

Maybe even girls are cluless from the topic i posted so there is small arguments.. given you guise are gals ?

That's interesting

don't get me wrong,, 

[remember]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I had a wonderful healthy relationship with my dad. He was the most loving dad ever. So please don't chastise me just because I was in an abusive relationship. 

Understand that a woman loves a man. Then she might defend his behavior because she doesn't want to lose her love. 

I have very much the same level of dignity as you. 

 

I loved him much too much. If I didn't have self respect, I wouldn't have left the relationship. 

I had to wait. For things to get better. Because I wasn't cynical and negative. 

But when things didn't get better I left 

 

 

 

that’s pointing out the what’s probably really happening the most cases, as far as i always understood the dynamic of abusive relationships: 

it first of all is often the case that abusive guys can be cute in the beginning and even be more cute and loving and passionate than average, so women don’t always fall for the abuser who only show small signs of such, which can be overlooked by women if in love enough, but they fall for an image of a loving hot guy, or an interesting personality.

its difficult for a lot of women to understand it later on, that a loving person can have these sides, and its probably more difficult to leave an abusive relationship if not having the comparison to what healthy means. 

these cases def also exist the other way round. that guys stay with abusive girlfriends, so it’s not a onesided phenomenon. to get to the root of it is probably to ask why people stay in abusive relationships in general - why the abuser does is probably more obvious than why the abused does.

and there is a huge difference between situations escalating, with both partners showing signs and different grades of being mean and quarreling and showing abusive behavior and then changing directions towards a different dynamic. i guess when abusive behavior shows first it is often still in that range.

mostly abusive relationships develop slowly, or in some severe cases so abruptly that it’s difficult to even get a clear hold of what exactly is going on. getting out of a love relationship can be like cutting you off from drugs as in the first phase a person is massively exposed to hormones in that sense all your love experiences play into falling in love, the bias of a loving family can be in the same way dangerous as the bias of an abusive one. abuse can happen in so many different ways, that no one can foresee them all.

psychosocial dynamics are extremely complex - so yeah why  are women often the victim?

Edited July 10, 2020 by remember

[Preety_India]

@remember  

I don't have a clear cut answer. 

One of the reasons can be that men who are abusive are also manipulative. It's generally men who chase women and not the other way round. Often these men are good in the beginning and like to display themselves as good, it's only much later that the abuse begins. 

[mandyjw]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That is NOT what a woman is attracted to in a man though.

Sure it is, if you are on the right side of what you're scared of and believe has the most power, if you join it and give it motivation to protect you, you're very safe. Maybe. If you fuck the devil himself what could possibly touch you then? If the strongest man in the tribe with the worst temper claims you as his, you're very safe. 

It comes out of a deep fear and need for security. The more desperate and unconscious our fear, the more stupid and dangerous the things we do to ourselves to avoid it. 

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Most men are full of fear. A woman doesn't even understand what fear is until she's experienced what it's like for a guy to cold approach a hot girl and try to attract her.

There's a difference between having your very survival threatened, finding yourself in a bad position in a dark parking lot just because you had to use the restroom on a long drive in the middle of the night and the fear you feel when you're going after something you want and give someone's words and reactions the power to diminish you yourself. Her bitter mocking reactions only come from the deep wounds a woman has around being treated like a piece of meat.

Maybe if we stopped believing so strongly that we are just bodies that there's nothing for either men or women to fear. 

[fluffy]

@Leo Gura

Well, it has been empirically proven that women on average have more fear than men. Women score about one deviation higher on neuroticism, which gives them lower self-esteem, higher levels of anxiety and stress and lower levels of happiness. In contrary to what resentful feminists had theorized, these average differences are greater in more egalitarian countries. So, these differences seem to be mainly biological in nature.

Also, the notion that less ego = less fear is pure BS. Look at psychopaths, they probably are the most egotistical bastards out there, but they lack the capacity to feel fear - often their brain circuitry doesn't permit its formation.

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

There's a difference between having your very survival threatened

Statistically men are more in danger of violence and risk of death than women.

Since men mostly kill other men these days.

[Natasha]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Then how come so many girls stick around with abusive asshole boyfriends who mistreat them???

What girls say they want is very different from what they actually stick around for.

I would say it happens because our psychological trauma also factors into what we find attractive. Humans often find attractive what is familiar to them. If a girl had an experience in her childhood where a caregiver (usually a parent or both parents) was less than perfect, then she develops an attachment style and coping mechanisms necessary to survive in that kind of relational environment. That become her safety zone. Which includes most of humans, not just women. There are also  plenty of men who would prefer a bitch over a nice girl and would find her edginess attractive. No?

[mandyjw]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

Statistically men are more in danger of violence and risk of death than women.

Yes, but that's partly because they haven't been trained their entire lives to be wary around men, told not to travel, explore, take risks, let down their guard. Men's frontal lobes don't even fully mature until 25. That's a huge liability. 

My mom was in extreme physical danger after her first relationship, and even though my dad was a really good guy, she would never stand up to him even when he was very wrong. I was taught always to keep the peace at all costs and back down when dealing with men.  

 

[flowboy]

On 8-7-2020 at 7:03 PM, John Iverson said:

look at her face!! Her responseeee and her eyessss ✨ Damn!! Aww ??? 

her HUG THOUGH

This gives me the emotion.. 

i am high in emotion right now hehe 

yes i am a guy!! 

I rape the reply button before I send this

??????

 

 

Damn I realize I am in the right place. A place where I can improve myself and people here on the forum will support me like damn! I made myself an interesting person..

What about this video is inspiring to you? It shouldn't be.

Look, if this dude wants to sing for his girlfriend because he likes singing and he likes this music, that's great, let him.

But if he did it purely for her, singing a song he doesn't really like but hopes she does, to "demonstrate his love" or something, this relationship is about to fall apart/only being kept alive for the likes on instagram. I'm not kidding when I say: I bet she doesn't blow him anymore, if they even have regular sex at all, which I doubt.

In a relationship, you can get away with doing stuff like this sometimes, if you really want to. But don't be fooled: it actually hurts her attraction for him. While it's true that you see her emotions going up, what you don't see is that simultaneously her attraction is plummeting. After this, he better make sure to snap back into centered, grounded man-mode fast, or it's the beginning of the end.

In my years of dating over 50 women, reading and researching a lot and asking women about the subjects during various workshops, my conclusion is this: no matter what they say, women don't want a man who changes himself for her. So if that was your plan, I'm advising you to reconsider.

So what you're doing here is a very bad idea, because trying to become mr romantic like this so that women will like you, to women is the most cringy unattractive thing ever.

Instead, ignore everything, ignore what women say they want, and just work on yourself and become firmly grounded in your life's purpose.

Then you will just naturally attract the women that suit you. Don't ever worry about it.

And of course, be decent to them. But that has nothing to do with attraction.

Edited July 10, 2020 by flowboy