Extremely frustrated about being a virgin

[assx95]

I feel this very clearly. It's baffling to me how I want to have sex with so many women, and none of them want to have sex with me. I am constantly texting girls. And I felt bad that the girl I really liked, turns me down, saying something like she has higher priorities than being with me even for a short while. That's kinda tragic. And the other one straight up told me to fuck off. And some others would suddenly stop replying to my texts. Having feelings for someone who treat you like trash, kills the vibe completely. 

Most women have it so easy. They just to need to text that they want to have sex, and there is a good certainty their wish will be taken care of. Whereas, I have to go through this long process of initiating conversations, texting and keeping in touch, cause they don't even make an effort to connect back. And there is no certainty. I have been absolutely crushed in the process. 

In theory, I do know that I am not entitled to sex or romantic love. And I need to take 100% responsibility and stop being a victim. Fuck me, if I don't try. And trying isn't helping. And I am not doing any more masturbation to just dissipate the frustration and make me docile. And I am not willing to pay for sex either, not because of the money, I can pay that, but i could have sex that way, but is that woman going to be make me feel like I am being loved? Probably not. 

I don't need pickup advice. Give me mindset changes if you can. I'd really thank you for that.  And please don't pity me. Treat me like you treat someone normal. I am about to be 25 btw. 

Edited July 6, 2020 by assx95

[Preety_India]

 

Women don't have it easy. That's why a lot of them say no 

 

 

[assx95]

37 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Women don't have it easy. That's why a lot of them say no 

I really can't understand what you're saying. What exactly is hard for women?  Assuming they are straight, Is it finding the right guy? Or is it related to emotions or physical attraction? 

[Gili Trawangan]

That frustration is to be used as fuel. Go out and start approaching women. Drop the texting, it's a waste of time. Texting is to set up dates, nothing else.

Approach women. Nothing else will help you.

[egoeimai]

Νο need to pity you or treat you like different. Without wanting to blame you, you are doing something wrong. I don't know what, but something seems isn't working for girls. So you need to change that.

[Preety_India]

 

48 minutes ago, assx95 said:

I really can't understand what you're saying. What exactly is hard for women?  Assuming they are straight, Is it finding the right guy? Or is it related to emotions or physical attraction? 

Why should a woman say yes if she is not attracted to you. 

Women get bombarded by requests by men everyday who they are not attracted to. So it's hard for them to make a choice because they are not attracted to any of these men. They'd rather want an attractive desirable man to come their way which happens very rarely. 

Sometimes a woman has to settle for a man who she is not attracted to because the desirable man never comes her way. She has to live with this frustration for her entire life. 

The sex is not enjoyable to her if the guy is not per her standards. 

Women don't like to show frustration as much as men because it will make them appear desperate and bimbo because society likes to shame a woman, call her a whore or a slut if she were to express how much she desires a man. 

If you can't attract a woman it's not her fault, so don't say it's easy for her. 

Women also have to live in the constant fear of safety for their lives, they don't want to get raped. A lot of women reject dudes simply out of fear or safety reasons. They might reject a guy out of the fear of rape and stalking. 

Statistically speaking, women are subjected to more gender violence and sexual assaults than men. Now don't jump at me and say that men also suffer violence. I have used the term gender violence. Women get raped and suffer domestic violence at an astronomically higher rates than men in relationships. So a woman has every reason to be afraid of a man. For this, men are themselves responsible. They are digging their own grave. 

Threat and fear do not translate as freedom.

A guy I might date can be a potential rapist. I can't say YES to every guy on planet earth. Understand and comprehend the limits of female sexuality before jumping to conclusions about women.. 

If a woman enjoys more freedom and less threat then they will free to date as many men as possible. They won't have to screen men with fear in mind. They won't have a constant mental radar going on in their minds. 

Plus a woman doesn't have the opportunity to fuck every guy. Her opportunity is limited by biology. She can get pregnant despite her best efforts at contraception so the fear of unwanted pregnancy is always looming on her mind. Men are also more likely to abandon a woman if they are not married to her. What is a woman supposed to do, spread her legs and get pregnant and be a single mother and raise kids for the rest of her life??? That's why her womb is precious. A woman has every right to decide who has to be the ultimate daddy of her future child because she doesn't have the capacity to have a 100 children in her lifetime. So she has to pick a man wisely, a man who is suitable to her needs, both emotionally, physically and security wise. 

And don't kid yourself. If you had 1000 girls approaching you, then even you will become selective and picky.. 

Women have different needs then men. They have survival needs and security needs and their emotional needs are extremely important to their health. They don't want stressful asshole boyfriends. That's why women are more likely to break up relationships because their tolerance limit for bullshit is very low. Men only tolerate a woman because they are getting the sex. Even they will break up at the same rate as women, if they were easily getting sex from other attractive women. A man knows all this deep down. So no kidding yourself. 

A woman will look for a man who is very attractive(emotional needs met) , financially stable(financial needs met) , successful(security needs met) and loyal, trustworthy and family and committment oriented (family needs, loyalty and trust needs).. 

 

Don't want to deal with reality?? Then it's your problem, not of women. 

Learn to handle rejection in life. Rejection is not a woman's fault. 

Don't mock, victimize, chastise or envy women because you get rejected. This is the nature of reality. 

 

Men who successfully got a woman they wanted have been through countless rejections to get what they want. They have the capacity to deal with rejections. Because they are fundamentally aware that getting a woman is not a child's play.. 

Improve yourself, work on your skills, approach many, get rejected many times, don't have the mentality of "need a girl for sex only" and show that you are capable of handling a woman, relationship, children, fatherhood and would become a good husband and be serious about dating and relationship 

Relationships are not meant as an outlet for sexual frustration or as a means to lose virginity. That's not called a relationship but "using a person for personal enjoyment" 

Relationships are meant for love, companionship, friendship, partnership, marriage, family, responsibilities and children. That's why women have such strict attitude towards dating and relationships, their goals are not about "fulfilling sexual desire or jerking off" but to create a life long partnership for themselves and a great stable environment for their children's future. That's why women have to be selective and men have to work hard to meet those standards. 

 

Try to meet those standards rather than whining about not getting a woman. 

[Leo Gura]

@assx95 It's quite simple really: you are failing at attracting these girls.

Sounds to me like you are texting them in needy ways, since you are needy and inexperienced, and they smell that neediness off you a mile away.

Nothing repels women faster than neediness.

The solution is to start going out and learning to build attraction with women face to face. This requires practice. If a woman is really attracted to you, she will not only text back eagerly, within minutes, but she will give you all sorts of compliments to make sure you understand that she want to sleep with you.

If you fail to attract her, she will be very cold via text. Basically non-responsive. If a girl is non-response or cold via text, that her telling you: I have no interest in you.

Women don't have it easy. Actually guys have it easier because we have the ability to go out make ourselves much more attractive via pickup. Women do not have this option.

You make the mistake of confusing your reproductive agenda with a woman's. Women have a totally different reproductive agenda than men. Pure physical sex is of little value to a woman. That's not what the woman needs. So just because she can easily get it with some random dude is of little help to her.

ATTRACTION CANNOT BE BUILT VIA TEXT! << Burn this into your skull. You must build attraction in-person. Texting is merely a mechanism to set up a date, assuming you have attraction. You cannot compensate for lack of attraction with clever text game. It will not work.

The solution here is simple: channel your frustration into going out and socializing with new girls face to face.

Stop expecting texts to get you laid. They will not.

[Raze]

This is a normal stage. There were some really good pua videos about it but they got deleted, from what I remember.

-you are elevating losing your virginity and having sex in your mind, in reality after you get it you won't feel any different, but you probably won't be able to accept that until you do.

-don't take rejection personally, practice learning to bounce it off, see anything as progress, for example congratulate yourself on just doing an approach or getting a number. Shift your perspective, a rejection is not a loss, generally the people who are delusionally positive get good fastest.

[Preety_India]

 

I have never had a single relationship in my life through text. I don't understand this texting culture. 

I can also text but I don't see a point in this. 

My first boyfriend was in college. 

My second boyfriend was someone I met my workplace with an interaction period of 4 months. 

My third boyfriend was at a supermarket or a grocery store when he approached me very confidently and I was secretly very impressed by his confidence. 

My fourth and current boyfriend was at a meditation retreat center last year. 

All of my relationships began in real life, not by text message. 

All of them approached me with relative levels of confidence. Some were less confident and some were more confident. 

Why are these guys thinking that they will get a Woman by sitting on a laptop computer or a phone. 

A woman needs touch and warmth. What will she do with your words. 

You need to look at her straight in her eyes for her to feel some emotion in her body.

You have to take her out on dates.. There should be sexual chemistry 

You can't create such a chemistry over a text message 

Go out and meet many many people and you will end up meeting a woman and more women. 

 

If a guy texted me "I love you" I will be like "hahahahahaha" 

I will see such a person as lazy and non committed. I will most likely give a cold response. Because I am not feeling any attraction in such a texting.

Texting is very limited. It will not help you get a girlfriend. 

It is a waste of time for you and also for the girl. 

Go out and date and fix meetings. See the girl every weekend. It will then blossom into a relationship. 

A lot of women will think that a guy who is messaging them is a creep and they will reject very quickly or show no interest. 

And don't keep hanging on to a woman who is already showing lack of interest. It's a waste of time. If she is interested in you, she will ask for a real life meeting with you and going out like parks, beaches or movies or other stuff. She will take the next step if she is really interested. 

So if she is not interested you need to drop her thought and move on to the next new woman. 

If they are not replying, it means that they are not interested and they are not attracted. 

You are liking them but they are not liking you. You will have to find someone who likes you. But for this to happen, you will need to research what makes a man more likable or attractive to a woman and try to be that.

[Kailash Bhattarai]

@Preety_India What do you think of pickup? I wanted to get an indian girls prespective? I am from Nepal BTW.

[Display_Name]

Easy problem to solve. Go to a prostitute, done.

I’m serious, and fuck anyone that says otherwise. I had a serious mental and emotional block, I knew game but I could never pull because of my virginity and fear around sex. One day I just got up and went to a brothel and got it over with. That created an experiential shift. The very next week, I pulled and slept with 2 “normal” girls.

One of the best, and simplest fixes I ever did. 

Edited July 6, 2020 by Display_Name

[Leo Gura]

@Kailash Bhattarai Why is a wolf asking a rabbit what rabbits think about wolves hunting rabbits?

[Kailash Bhattarai]

@Leo Gura LMAO. Some girls enjoy being approached but not a single rabbit enjoys being hunted.

Edited July 6, 2020 by Kailash Bhattarai

[remember]

53 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You are liking them but they are not liking you. You will have to find someone who likes you. But for this to happen, you will need to research what makes a man more likable or attractive to a woman and try to be that.

this is actually a bit like the sexual expectations men have towards women.   i guess both genders falling into that trap expecting the other person to fulfill some of their needs, for men that oftentimes starts with a sexual fulfillment. even though if you look deeper into it, it really often is love and attention. not all of course, the more tight they are into subject object relationship orange hedonism is game. 

i always had a perspective of learning of each other in my relationships it’s really that i cannot fall in love without a social component, if it’s just about the physical stuff i don’t bind, it’s not a magnet. i guess a lot of women are interested in guys who try to work on their physical attractiveness because they do the same, guys who look much better than us are sometimes even a problem. if you learn to have a good time with another person additionally that’s pure magnetism, and you cannot even loose out on that because even if it does not lead anywhere, you still had a good time. guys who collect one night stands don’t get, that most women they get laid  are actually getting them laid, and these women probably have some standard. the rest is searching for personal attraction plus social match, what sometimes means diametral shadow components.

i’m actually backing this - growth sometimes does not mean to grow the way a guy wants or thinks would be the way, but if growth is seen as a positive aspect and learning seen as gaining, maybe not what someone wanted to gain but what develops naturally, then why should it be a problem to adapt to some of the expectations of the other gender?

Edited July 6, 2020 by remember

[Mada_]

Become fit and healthy, and be clear on your calling.

And practice approaching women in person, I did my first cold approach the other day, it was really self-esteem boosting. 

[Kailash Bhattarai]

@Mada_ Nice man. First approach is so difficult. I remember the first day i approached it took me 6 hrs to approach one girl (by giving her direct compliment btw, i used to ask for directions before that). But  i was so happy after that approach. 

[w4read]

 @assx95 I think becoming less needy is often the key. 

Find something that gives you confidence and that is more important to your life than girls, and bring that confidence and passion into your interactions with women. A compelling life purpose will often do the job, or find some interesting hobby that sparks up your life and give you a sense of joy. Meeting girls should be an expression of who you are, so make sure that you work on making your authentic self someone that you are excited to share with the girl. And also, look at it as a journey and a process and embrace the fact that it's not going to be easy all the time and also appreciate the small improvements along the way!

And then as people say, do cold approach (if you feel comfortable with that) or join social groups so that you get to meet people person to person.

But also, you can work on texting as well, because even though you don't build attraction that way, there are still ways to text that make women comply to a date far more often than if your texting was "bad".

Good luck, bro!

[Enlightenment]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Women have a totally different reproductive agenda than men. Pure physical sex is of little value to a woman.

So how to explain that woman are willing to fuck a good looking guy on tinder, even if his game is bad, he is boring, needy etc.?

[Username]

Imagine there is some random girl want to be in a relationship. It doesn't matter who it is, she just want someone right now. Would you be interested in having babies with her and  spending the rest of your life together?

Your approach is off-putting.

[Leo Gura]

55 minutes ago, Enlightenment said:

So how to explain that woman are willing to fuck a good looking guy on tinder, even if his game is bad, he is boring, needy etc.?

Because on Tinder the women are there shopping for partners/guys, and THE ONLY THING they have to judge you on is your picture. So of course, when framed like that, every woman will choose the hottest looking guy.

By placing yourself like a piece of meat on Tinder, you lose 95% of your value unless you are in the top 10% of physically attractive guys. So the cost of you being lazy is losing 95% of your value. That's what you get for being lazy.

If you approach women in the real world, the entire dynamic changes.