Realistic Ways To Live Joyfully And Detached At The Same Time?

[WhatAmI]

Being the observer can make life so boring sometimes because i know 'i' am not this feeling.

Yet i still want to experience life to the fullest and still enjoy sex and friendships and all that other good stuff.

Right now, i am either being one or the other. I am either a fucking detached stoic or I am a super connected being just chilling with life.

How can you be fully engaged with life but detached/observing it fully at the same time?

Would love any tips or advice xxx

[jjer94]

People often confuse detachment with observing. You can fully experience something and be detached from it at the same time. Attachment is "this experience should/shouldn't be here." Detachment is "experience is exactly how it should be." Observing is analyzing experience using the light of awareness. You don't need to observe every experience; that's just silly! In fact, 'observer' is a dualistic idea, because it implies that there is an entity looking out at the world...

Some food for contemplation:

What if there is no such thing as an observer?

What if there is no observer "looking out" at the world?

What if there is only "out"?

Cheers!

[Pav]

It sounds like you're trying to be detached. Stop trying to be attached but also stop trying not to be attached, what's left?

Let go of any attempt to control your mind or body. The feeling of control was an illusion, which you can come to realise through enough awareness. Allow your mind and body to function spontaneously, without resisting anything that's going on. If you are feeling happy, feel happy. If you are feeling depressed, feel depressed (the emotion it self is just another experience, it is your resistance to the emotion which creates the neurosis). If you are enjoying sex, enjoy sex. 

Ultimately you want to unconditionally accept the world and your mind for exactly as they are. When you give up the feeling on control (and stop trying not to control), you will find that your body/mind functions effortlessly. You will still have desires, you will still have values, you will still enjoy life, and you will still form loving friendships (although you will realise how petty many of the things were you once valued). Through my study of the human psyche, I have come to believe that the human unconscious is inherently wise and inherently good. The ego has been programmed into people through the way they were raised, as a result of this illusion of control their conscious mind is constantly fighting with their unconscious, they are constantly resisting what's going on. This disunity of their psyche leads to neurosis, and many other problems.

[Azrael]

16 hours ago, WhatAmI said:

How can you be fully engaged with life but detached/observing it fully at the same time?

How can you ride a roller coaster w/o shitting yourself because you think you'll die when it shoots up into the sky? You know that you sit in a roller coaster with a seat belt on.

When you are flowing with life, having sex, fun, going out .. whatever you do .. become aware of the flow you are in. Feels great, huh? I love it. When you are in "observer" mode or you do stuff you have to do .. become aware of the non-flow you are in. Feels shitty, doesn't it? 

Now, another time when you are in flow become aware of the thing that is always there (that is always the same). It kinda feels that it allows flow to arise, doesn't it? On still another time when you are in non-flow become aware of the thing that is present there as well .. (can you taste it out?)

Do that for some time and you'll get a notion, an intuition, a taste like with wine for that knowing that is always there. This is your seat belt. This is always there (even if you are in deep sleep - find out for yourself). It is your save spot, it is your home ... and if you come back to it it surely feels like home. It is you.

Develop this taste, out of that will arise a world in front of you that was always there but hidden in the patterns of all the ups and downs of the roller coaster.

Cheers to you!