Everyone Looks Down On Me And Thinks I Am Weird

[Guest username]

After engaging in advanced personal development and consciousness work, I have lost the respect of many of those around me. They think I am stupid and do not support my choices. When I enter depressive episodes during consciousness work and explain later that it is a part of the process of cultivating awareness and is not inherently wrong, I am dismissed as being silly, impractical and simply rationalizing my fear of having a "real life".

I know it does not matter and there is no self to be judged or to suffer, but I am interested in being able to have a healthy relationship with my family and friends. How do I accomplish this when everyone thinks I am a myopic, ignorant loser for renouncing "life" in favor of being "woo-woo"?

[Fishy]

Well first of all let them think whatever they want.

Second you don't need to talk about other people about all this stuff, most dont understand and some don't want to, if they are interested go ahead if not there is no use.

[Pelin]

46 minutes ago, username said:

 When I enter depressive episodes during consciousness work 

What do you mean by this? How does one enter depressive episodes during consciousness work? Something doesn't feel right.

People have their opinions. Let them have them. But I think beyond opinions they are genuinely worried about you.

Also, if there wasn't any self, you wouldn't bother so much about not having a healthy relationship. And you trying to explain again shows that you still have the ego trying to prove itself right. And there is nothing wrong with that. Please don't try to jump miles before learning how to walk. You're only doing harm to yourself.

[Guest username]

@Pelin Is depression not compatible or usually induced by looking inward? I am not trying to prove myself right. I am simply trying to not let my relationships die out while still pstill personal growth. What exactly do you mean by not jumping miles before I can walk? How do you think I am doing that?

[egoeimai]

@username  wow ! Why do you think you have to explain to others of what you do? 

Is your opinion that matters to u?!?!?!

[Pelin]

@username okay, it is a bit hard for me to explain, and of course this is just my opinion, but my experience tells me looking inwards is more freeing than  depressing. What is it that depresses you? Would you like to share?

[Jani]

Yeah. If you think you're gonna find a human from your social circle that is into enlightenment work, you're gonna be disappointed. From all the bs I've tried and been hyped about in my life, have I ended up with the one that im the most lonely at and in the one that nobody's really interested in and the one that if mentioned, people will just laugh at you and the one that brings me great deals of suffering along the progress. But deep inside you just know that it's the right thing to do, don't need no validation from other people as to why this is something you have to do, you just know you gotta do it. The gains are also so subjective that it takes a long time for other people to notice anything, but that doesn't really matter that much anyway. 

[Azrael]

On 25.7.2016 at 11:20 PM, username said:

I know it does not matter and there is no self to be judged or to suffer, but I am interested in being able to have a healthy relationship with my family and friends. How do I accomplish this when everyone thinks I am a myopic, ignorant loser for renouncing "life" in favor of being "woo-woo"?

Hey, interesting question.

I encountered a similar situation when I started out. Basically I wasn't confident enough to tell my friends and family that I meditate, contemplate reality, ask certain questions and all that jazz. And looking back on that time, that was really okay. I practised for I think 2-3 months and then slowly told my mom and dad that I was meditating. But not much more. Then some other people and now I am at the point at which everyone knows how invested I am in this kind of work.

But it is helpful not to run through the streets yelling: "You people don't exist. It's all a game in your head." You don't wanna do that. When I talk with somebody about philosophical or reality-related matters I calibrate my views at first to the level they are on. Then I'll talk to them and slowly .. very slowly play certain cards that'll let their model of reality crash ... or let's say melt down.

Why do I do that? Am I just a crazy motherfucker? ... Probably, I don't know. No, but seriously: If you had some realizations you can help people a lot with their problems when you take on their perspective and widen it. If you start doing that people will respect you a lot for that because if you hear wise things and they are in a format that you can understand with current awareness of the topic .. then this is huge.

Also, if your friends and family really think it is stupid what you do ... you maybe at least wanna look for some better friends. When I told my best friends and buddies I was shocked how open they are to this and also that most of them knew a lot about these topics (... I hang around with some dudes that are into psychedelics where this kind of talk is not so uncommon).

For the rest, as I said: Let them in slowly and help them with it. Don't crush on them. Doesn't help you and won't help them.

Cheers

[jjer94]

2 hours ago, Arik said:

Am I just a crazy motherfucker? ... Probably, I don't know.

We're all crazy motherfuckers 

One possible method of dealing with others and these heavy topics is what I like to call "The Vampire Method."

You know how vampires can't come into your house until you invite them in? The same thing here: Avoid talking about this stuff with other people unless they invite you to talk about it. As Arik said, you probably don't want to run through the streets and yell. Remember what happened to Jesus?

2 hours ago, Arik said:

Cheers

You forgot this: !

[Christian]

I have encountered the same problems with people finding it crazy that I do personal development.

And I can understand that because it goes against the modern lifestyle and it is just different and people cannot really grasp the significance that it has to transform ones life if they just stick to it. But you can still share it with them if they are interested and curious in why you do it. And you probably want to go gentle and not speak out harsh truths that go against their notions of reality like:

Relationships do not make you happy

Love is not what you think love is. Your version of love is really like a business negotiation

You are an illusion - you do not exist. 

Your religion holds you back (if they are religious) and it is also 100% false - all concepts, all beliefs.

And other harsh truths like that.

So be kind, respect people and tell them what they are ready to hear if they are open. If not, talk to them about other things and accept that they are not ready.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Consept]

Yeah look everyone will most likely think you're crazy for doing it and talking about it. Its the same as if someone close to you said they've joined a particular religion and then start telling you how it will save your life, exactly the same thing. 

The urge is always there when you find something that resonates with you to pass it on, one to validate your new ideas and two because you think it might help people.  But everyone is on their own journey and if you come to at someone with something outside of their current understanding, they just won't get it. Best thing just be with them in the moment, use it as a practice 

[Nunzia]

I always here one must obtain there own validation within. But it's not entirely true. If you have common core relationships that are stable and healthy -- validation comes from your own circle, to edify....... To build up . ..but most importantly.. yes from within - You. 

Melachony can be somewhat normal but shouldn't hurt too much and last too long. We snap out of it - we enter sometimes into it. Life cycles and seasons come & go, we experience emotion & questions within that the brain is trying to resolve from within. We grow. It's like building blocks. I spent a lot of my life not understanding and running from my emotions --now I face it. Sometimes I feel pathetic but it's really not. Ego wants me to feel that way. The more I face my emotions , the solid foundation I build upon. I feel secure. 

You have valid concerns and questions, I promise the answers will come. You are building your own foundation. A power house. Good work. Enjoy the ride, and stick also to like minded people. Not all people will understand but than you'll  meet others who do. I hear your language and I validate what your saying. 

[Leo Gura]

Know your purpose, know your values. Trust them and stay authentic to yourself every day.

That's pretty much the recipe for an awesome life.

The opposite is a recipe for a disastrous life.

[Khin]

WEIRD? LOL... Many thinks I'm too weird just because I don't care what anyone say. For me, the best way to get a long with my family is listening to my parents. Many thinks I'm weak because of that. But the benefit is everytime I'd like something against my parents , I restrain myself. Overtime, I understood how strong my mind and emotions have become just by restraining myself. So putting others over our desire is not a bad thing tho.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Khin
Usual

[Telepresent]

On ‎27‎/‎07‎/‎2016 at 5:10 PM, Arik said:

When I talk with somebody about philosophical or reality-related matters I calibrate my views at first to the level they are on.

This is really important. Frankly, to most people, what we're talking about here sounds kind of nuts - and if you're coming out of a depressive episode, starting to talk about cultivating consciousness or higher awareness or anything like that IS going to sound like you're trying to avoid reality, or looking for magic pills . You can't drop people in the deep end here: I think back to my mindset two years ago, and I'd have thought you're nuts too. But getting to where I am now wasn't one big leap, but lots of little steps.

So if you're aiming to reassure people who are worried about you after a depressive episode, I'd suggest you need to talk in their language. I often use mindfulness or CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) as a starting point: both have the advantage of being 'respectable' in established terms, while containing essences of what we do here. And sometimes I may leave it at that, sometimes I may take things deeper - depends on the person, my relationship with them, and how the conversation naturally progresses. Like Arik said, I've been surprised at the amount of friends I have who are open to these ideas, but you have to feel your way along that path in each conversation, and respect how far other people are willing and able to go.

If it's primarily about reassuring people you're ok, though, a lot of the time I'd recommend leaving 'spiritual' stuff at the door and finding a more straightforward way of saying "I'm ok, I know it seems like I haven't been, but I know why that is and I'm working on it: it just takes some time"

Edited July 30, 2016 by Telepresent