Less is more

[Gesundheit]

35 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

1. Has he ever done psychedelics or molly before and if so was he able to get a sense of universal love, and what would that feel like for a psychopath?

He hasn't done any drugs at all so far but he's not against them. He's all for new experiences when available. He tells me that life is an experiment and that losing is simply not possible. He does not fear death. He says that it's but one life. You either live for what you want or die for it. And when I'd shown him some non-dual artwork he told me that that's exactly what reality is. He identifies deeply with this video:

He said that the makers of the video understand his perspective very well. I recently told him blatantly that he may be a psychopath and he was like: yeah so what? He didn't get angry or triggered or anything. We're very close so that may be the reason why. And since we're close, he is willing to carry me with him even if I turn out to be a complete fuck up (which is very likely lol).

35 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

I have Asperger's and I remember trying mushrooms about 7 years ago a couple of times, and what I noticed is that I had an easier time integrating my senses so that I had a much larger picture perspective of everything rather than hyper-focused perspective.

What do you mean by larger picture perspective? He believes that nothing really matters and that his desires are not to be suppressed. I share the same belief.

35 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

If psychedelics could fix that imagine what it could do for a psychopath?

That is interesting. I will tell him that.

Edited August 7, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

I am the son of this universe.

[Gesundheit]

On 06/08/2020 at 4:58 AM, Pugfishpanda said:

@Gesundheit Maybe you’d like this video???

 

??

[Gesundheit]

LMAO meme of the week:

She talks too much but cooks nonsense.

[Gesundheit]

I can't lie. I can't build a life on lies. My most foundational value comes from this statement: "Stake life upon Truth". If something does not feel authentic to me, I don't do it unless I really have to.

My first awakening came about when I was 14. After finishing class 9 i realized the meaninglessness of life. Not that I took anything seriously at that time. I swept it under the rug and went on with my busy life. My parents were banning me from video games and so I craved them so much throughout the year. Whenever my parents weren't at home I would secretly play. And during the exams period, I stopped playing by my will, but still craved it. However, the desire to play was there because I was supposed to be doing something else. When the exams were over, I came back home asap and thought I would find the ultimate happiness and freedom. Only to find myself absolutely bored 15 minutes in. It was devastating. All that waiting was for nothing. However, I kept playing. It started becoming a task. I felt obliged to play. Still, I was never truly free to play whenever I wanted to. So there was never anything I could call satisfaction.

The same scenario is repeating right now. I have exams but I don't like studying. So I find myself doing anything else to distract myself.

This means that I have never had passions. I was never motivated to do anything from my early childhood. I only desire what is forbidden. That explains my sexual fetishes too. If I have everything, I don't want anything. Desire dies. I don't particularly like food because there's always plenty of it. I'm quite sure if there will be a shortage at some point that I will certainly become fat. As long as there's enough of a thing, I take it for granted and it loses its value to me. Right now I deeply desire love but I can't have it. I crave it but I can't have it. I am pretty sure it will lose its value as soon as I get it.

This is my true nature. Deluded Adam seeking the forbidden fruit.

[Gesundheit]

2 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

I can't lie. I can't build a life on lies. My most foundational value comes from this statement: "Stake life upon Truth". If something does not feel authentic to me, I don't do it unless I really have to.

My first awakening came about when I was 14. After finishing class 9 i realized the meaninglessness of life. Not that I took anything seriously at that time. I swept it under the rug and went on with my busy life. My parents were banning me from video games and so I craved them so much throughout the year. Whenever my parents weren't at home I would secretly play. And during the exams period, I stopped playing by my will, but still craved it. However, the desire to play was there because I was supposed to be doing something else. When the exams were over, I came back home asap and thought I would find the ultimate happiness and freedom. Only to find myself absolutely bored 15 minutes in. It was devastating. All that waiting was for nothing. However, I kept playing. It started becoming a task. I felt obliged to play. Still, I was never truly free to play whenever I wanted to. So there was never anything I could call satisfaction.

The same scenario is repeating right now. I have exams but I don't like studying. So I find myself doing anything else to distract myself.

This means that I have never had passions. I was never motivated to do anything from my early childhood. I only desire what is forbidden. That explains my sexual fetishes too. If I have everything, I don't want anything. Desire dies. I don't particularly like food because there's always plenty of it. I'm quite sure if there will be a shortage at some point that I will certainly become fat. As long as there's enough of a thing, I take it for granted and it loses its value to me. Right now I deeply desire love but I can't have it. I crave it but I can't have it. I am pretty sure it will lose its value as soon as I get it.

This is my true nature. Deluded Adam seeking the forbidden fruit.

The difference though is that before I used to operate from fear. Now after I "died" it seems like I will not likely fear anything anymore.

[Gesundheit]

There's no better or worse in life. You're always exactly where you are. You're not moving forward or backwards. You're not growing or aging. Nothing changes really but appearances. It's all an illusion.

[Gesundheit]

It's very easy for me to be a hard-worker. It just comes naturally. My body ignites in flames after a few minutes in, and it feels good while working and even great after I'm done when at rest. And if it becomes a regular thing, my muscles start to take shape, my body looks perfect, and my health maximizes to the top.

However, and when it comes to intellect, it's very different, like 180° different. It's the most difficult thing for me to do. I would rather work 8 hours in labor than to study for 1 hour. The reason why I even bother with this whole spirituality and personal development thing is procrastination. I don't want to do the studying. I hate it. I hate everything about it. And worst of all, up until now, I couldn't find a way to make things less worse. I only have two years remaining to graduate out of college. And it's the most difficult thing I have on my list. I have sacrificed almost every other thing, and therefore handicapped myself and my growth, as to be intending to focus on this shit, yet without much results. My life is currently on hold until I move out of this shitty obligation and be done with it. And for what? For a piece of paper called "certificate". I can't sit upright. My neck starts hurting so quickly. I can't sit for too long. I can't keep my mind focused when most of the material is complete BS without actual value in real life. I wish there was a fast-forward button so that I could skip this step. I really dislike everything about college and hope to get done with it immediately if not before.

Edited August 9, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

Peaceful days.

[Pugfishpanda]

@Gesundheit Tim Freke is who I agree with

 

[Gesundheit]

Absolute clarity.

[Gesundheit]

I joined two groups on whatsapp yesterday. One is called: "the enlightenment forum", and the other: "philosophy argument".

Anyway, both of them suck, and are full of dogmatic people. It's ironic though. The enlightenment forum was more Blue and full of very uncivilized discussions. The other one was a little bit more developed, although not much. It's Orange at best. I left it a few minutes ago and remained in the Blue one for now. I tried to point out some flaws in the logic of logic, but it felt like talking to a brick of wall. The guy who was talking to me was about to suggest some books for me to educate myself about logic before criticizing it. I was like meh, you deluded fool. I said goodbye and left before he could suggest anything. I will probably leave the other group soon. It's muted right now and I don't intend to participate any time soon, but who knows? I might get bored.

[Gesundheit]

Nothing makes sense anymore. It's strange, being here.

[Gesundheit]

Awareness is ego-antagonistic, stripping away all meaning gradually, layer after layer, until there's nothing left.

[Gesundheit]

Anything and everything that humans ever do, without exception, is one or more of three:

1. To take something from you.
2. To infect you with their delusions.
3. A defence mechanism or a some complexity playing out.

Basically, these are all human motivations in a nutshell. Human society is sick. Even when people are supposedly trying to help you, they're actually causing more harm than good to you, something difficult for me to articulate, but now I get it! Islam says that you should live life like a traveller passing some road, no more.

That's it, less is more.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

[Gesundheit]

Let me tell you what the deep problem of politics is. It's nothing. There isn't actually a problem, but people make it to be.

Imagine a car with 5 people fighting for the steering wheel, that's basically what politics is all about. Control. The rest is noise and delusion. No ideology is better than any other. Not even "the truth" ideology is better than any other. Any ideology would work fine if we'd leave one driver have the steering wheel. Just one driver. That's it. The rest please buckle up your seat belts and enjoy the ride.

All the grind we're creating to customize these few years in this realm isn't worth it. No, sir.

[Gesundheit]

34 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Get me out of my country and I'll work 14 hours a day and pay you 80% of whatever I earn.

Leo said:

Quote

Work 14 hrs a day and you'll get yourself out of your country and keep 100% of what you earn.

Only if it was that simple. The highest salaries here for people without a business are very, very poor. On average about 40$ a month and at max about 90$. You can barely survive with that amount of money. No job will produce the money required to move out, not even in 10 years of labor, and yes, to earn the 90$ you'd have to work in labor. It gets worse, the economy is still not at rock bottom. It's getting worse every single day. So gimme a break.

[Gesundheit]

How can anyone listen to something this upbeat and feel sad? I don't know, but I do ?

[Gesundheit]

Perfectionism is a coping mechanism that manifests when things are overwhelming and out of control. It's an ego mechanism to make it feel as though the ego is still in control right after it loses it, until it's cured.