Less is more

[Gesundheit]

Objectives:

• Less stimulating activities in general.
• Less time doing stimulating activities.
• More presence throughout all activities.
• Gradual withdrawal from all forms of unnecessary activities.
• Less thinking.
• Less everything.
• More nothing.

Edited July 4, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

Ideas:

• Almost total media blackout (that includes YouTube, Facebook, and all other sites).
• Cleaning up the feeds on all sites and narrowing them down to the essentials.
• Closed-minded approach to life. High focus on survival and what directly contributes to it. Abandoning all sorts of pleasures, dopamine, and whatnot.
• No more learning about things that don't directly contribute to my survival.
• Selective use of technology; the least possible.
• Selective socialisation, but nevertheless, constant.

[Gesundheit]

The theory behind the path I've chosen:

Society is in a craze, a rat race I vow to not join.

We live in a world where the hamsters that keep their wheels running the most are the most loved, idolised, and worshipped. This process is never ending, even though cannot go on forever by an individual hamster. The collective creates a hierarchy, and everyone is responsible for this creation. I choose not to join society in this delusion. This delusion manifests in the form of competition. This competition creates a dynamic of winning and losing, better and worse, us and others, me and others, and so on. This dynamic is the root cause of all of human problems. It's simply what the term ego is all about. Without this dynamic, there would be no racism, poverty, wars, nations, borders, ideologies, identities, suffering, pollution, rape, abuse, addiction, violence, divorce, cheating, and a variety of mental disorders. Or at least, these problems would be much less severe than they currently are. People can't just fucking sit down in silence and meditate! They (and I'm still one of them) are hooked up to all kinds of stimulants that are designed to distract them from being. In reality, happiness and peace of mind can only be truly found in meditation. I'm currently experiencing a heightened state of consciousness due to decreasing exposure to stimulations. I'm feeling hyper aware and present. I now see a truth that I've never seen before, and rarely see anyone aware of. I'm alone on this path, but I don't care. I want my conscience as clean as possible, and that can only happen if I contribute with the least possible amount of collateral damage due to the process of getting my needs met. Therefore, I'll try to always keep my needs both in check and as minimalistic as possible. I'll keep updating this journal if anyone is interested in seeing where this goes, but mainly for myself. It makes perfect sense for me now to choose this path. I don't know what will make perfect sense for me tomorrow!

Edited July 5, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

It is a difficult path, perhaps the most difficult one there is. And I'm not perfect at it at all. I'm still falling back into my old self and patterns. No wonder why people don't choose it. It is a grind against everyone and everything in life. It is the ultimate suffering. And virtually nobody wants to suffer. There's a deep wisdom behind this path, and rarely anyone sees it. It's not about my joy and happiness. It's about the world and how corrupt it is. People confuse this path with a stage Blue religious belief, but they're unable to see beyond their egos. For me, the easiest thing to do is to go with the flow. I am a master at that. I've spent the past two years drowning in pleasures, from one thing to another, but it's not satisfying anymore. Going with the flow means turning a blind eye to the suffering of others. I can deny it all I want, but it'll still be there, even if I don't suffer on a personal level. I feel responsible for the suffering of others, and that's the best I could currently do to neutralise things.

Happiness is ignorance. It is an unconscious reaction that plays out after a certain period of suffering. It is a comforting story for the ego. The ego never chooses the difficult path, but nothing lasts forever. I am getting more convinced that this is the right path. And old wisdom backs me up on this. Old sages certainly had valid reasons for preaching about this path. It's only these new-agey flaky teachers that don't seem to have gone full-circle, nor are responsible for their words that advocate 'the path of least resistance', and 'following your bliss'. That's the perfect bait for an ego. The ego wants nothing else more than a world purely made for its own sake. And sure enough, you will face a lot of these, dying to defend their ignorance.

However, in no way I'm advocating for going to the extremes and torturing oneself. I'm simply trying to balance things out. Mad people thing they should know!

Edited July 6, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

Some addiction recovery techniques plus a little commentary:

• Immediate & complete cut-off of the stimuli; Sudden withdrawal. High potential for relapsing even in a worse degree. Requires a strong will/belief and/or ridiculously high levels of awareness. Extremely painful. Most useful for mild addictions on things that are not survival related.
• Slow & steady cut-off of the stimuli; Gradual withdrawal. Moderate potential for relapsing but low potential for creating momentum which makes it easier to fall off track and lose focus. Moderately painful with windows of relief every now and then. Not very effective in general but could work in certain occasions as a way of decreasing the severity of the addiction, especially when it is a survival related addiction. Most useful for stage Green people.
• Replacement with healthy habits. Requires vision, passion, and drive, or strong environmental circumstances that forces the changes onto one's life. Doesn't address or get to the root of the issue, which is the fear of emptiness, which is the ultimate addiction. Fragile and circumstances-dependent, which means inevitable relapsing if the environment returns back to its original state. Most useful for people who aren't interested in Truth but merely in quick fixes and shallow personal development, stage Orange basically.

[Gesundheit]

Nothing beats the presence of God.

[Himanshu]

Godspeed!

[Gesundheit]

@Himanshu Thanks! 

[Gesundheit]

God's only question for the human being is about faith & trust. Do you trust God? That's the key to your freedom as a human.

This insight had dawned on me earlier today during one of my hikes in the city. I've had the goosebumps for about a minute afterwards. My body became over sensitive, and I enjoyed it.

Have faith.

[Gesundheit]

I find this little representation interesting. I've found it somewhere here on the forum. To me, the two largest circles are almost identical. And many times I speak things that I don't even think about. This is odd, I wasn't like that at all. I feel hyper-aware as a baseline level but I still have some "bad" times. One of the best practices for relaxing the mind and enhancing awareness in my experience is letting go, albeit a bit tricky since it should also be let go of. I'm not a teacher so I'm not gonna try to explain that. But yeah, it's very crucial to lose yourself, to forget who you are, to get with the present moment, and to enter a state of flow. To achieve this state, all resistance needs to be dropped. That is true freedom!

Edited July 21, 2020 by Gesundheit

[Gesundheit]

I am dumb, deeply ignorant. Yet act sometimes arrogantly. The ego is a tricky beast. I wonder why I would defend something I know is completely imaginary and not merely that, but also don't want or even like. I should be the one owning my ego not the other way around. But who's the one saying that?!

God will forgive me.

[Gesundheit]

Yesterday I took a hike in the city at night. All that was on my mind was my soulmate. I fucking miss her so fucking much. And even though I let go long ago I eventually came to realize that it's all meaningless. Meaninglessness so meaningless that it doesn't have any meaning to it whatsoever. I have realized recently that all human emotions are delusion. A healthy human should not be experiencing the least of them. Emotions are nothing but attachment manifesting in the body as different sensations in different locations depending on the content of thoughts. Peace of mind is not a sensation. It is the neutralization of all sensations into nothing. Pure being. Love is delusion. Passion is delusion. Lust is delusion. Depression is delusion. Anger is delusion. Hatred is delusion. All emotions, positive and negative, are delusion. The whole emotional spectrum is delusion. God/awareness/the observer/the witness has no emotions. It's empty. Emotions are ego. And God can have an ego when he forgets himself.

I'm so neutral right now, yet there is a desire to write. There is an emotion making me write what I'm writing. I'm leaving this message out here for myself as to remind myself in the future because I know I will forget. The more I try to repress this emotion the more intense it gets. So I understand that God can't help being deluded. God is delusion.

[Gesundheit]

Quote

"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those doing it." — Chinese proverb

I can't. Lol

Those who want me to stop expressing myself should stop doing that.

[Gesundheit]

Existential boredom and loneliness. Not bad. Not negative. Not good or positive either. It's just what it is.

It's a silly joke. That's what it is. I am beyond Turquoise right now. I can see the silliness of all of human behavior. Trying to have the positives without the negatives is absurd to say the least. Positives and negatives are entangled within each other and there isn't the slightest bit of separation between them. Whatever choice you make, no matter how 'good' it may seem to you, it's not good at all in reality. You're only too blind and occupied with selfishness to be able to see the negatives. You're ignorant. Whatever place or position you're in right now, no matter how good or bad it may seem to you, it's neither. But you're deluded. You might think that if you do something to change things, then things will be better. What a fool! You think that by surviving better you're actually winning? What a fool! Nothing comes for free. Life is not rent-free. It's beyond obvious. You cannot ever reduce the negatives or increase the positives, because reducing the apparent negatives contains certain unapparent negatives and increasing the apparent positives contains unapparent negatives as well. You don't appreciate that everything is absolutely equal to everything else. And nothing really matters or occurs. Only the illusion of importance and occurrence.

[Gesundheit]

The fuck! Even direct experience is bullshit. Nothing really has any value whatsoever. Everything is pointless. There is no free will. No point in doing or learning anything. There's no escaping reality. It's all about luck. Not random luck, but still luck. Fuck.

[Gesundheit]

Emotional release.

[Gesundheit]

Life isn't fair. It had to show me how good it can be and then, in a blink of an eye, poof. I will never forgive life for what it did to me. I'm beyond repair. Don't judge me. I hate everyone and everything.

I wish there was a solution. How could this puzzle ever be solved? I would have committed suicide if I knew it would help, but no. IMPOSSIBLE.

She's not dead, neither did she leave me. She's mentally ill. And how could I possibly reach her then? If she was dead, suicide would give me a good chance of meeting her in the supposed soul world or afterlife. If she left me, I would have understood.

The feelings inside me cannot be described or communicated. She was God, absolutely true. Unlike all them fake, other people. Burning from the inside. Longing to meet her again, but no. IMPOSSIBLE.

She's not here, nor there. She's everywhere. Right through everything. Irreplaceable. So infallible. So sweet and lovable. I promised her I will wait, and I'm keeping my promise. I will take her with my arms open when she comes around, and she will come around. Please.

I took a 4 hours hike earlier today and cried my eyes out. I wished I could keep walking and crying for eternity but I had to come back home. Life's not fair.

The last thing we were talking about was telepathy. She thought it was possible to communicate with one another regardless of all physical restrictions. She knew it from heart. But how can I reach her now? Is she waiting for me in some ethereal dimension? Am I just deluding myself? I don't know, and I don't care. I just wanna be with her. She's my God.

[Gesundheit]

Nuff said.

[Gesundheit]

Waste your time here:

https://en.akinator.com/

[Gesundheit]

My ego is hurt. Possibly, I'm not sure.